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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89356 times)

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Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #575 on: May 28, 2008, 11:30:50 AM »
Granted but they're on your head.

I wish I had a grilled hotdog on a bun with cheese, mustard and relish. . .(boy am I hungry)

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #576 on: May 28, 2008, 02:57:01 PM »
Granted, but now you're allergic to all of that, so you can't eat it.

I wish there was an easier way to get money than going to donate my plasma...

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #577 on: May 28, 2008, 10:19:18 PM »
Granted, now you're a prostitute and have over 15 STDs.

I wish that my hamster didn't make so much noise.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #578 on: May 29, 2008, 07:51:20 AM »
Granted, you're deaf and can't hear it.

I wished prostitutes made more money so I could pay for all my STD's ^^

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #579 on: May 29, 2008, 09:18:30 AM »
Granted but now the ones left are incurable.

I wish I could afford to buy a new bed.

Offline Sethite

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #580 on: May 29, 2008, 10:01:47 AM »
Granted. But the bed breaks when you sit on it.

I wish I had new coat.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #581 on: May 29, 2008, 10:07:16 AM »
Granted. It's a brand-spankin' new coat woven from the chest hair of twenty sweaty rednecks.

I wish I was a sweaty redneck.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #582 on: May 29, 2008, 12:02:51 PM »
Granted. no reason to pervert that since it's already bad enough.

I wish that my friend felt better :(

Offline Seara

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #583 on: May 29, 2008, 12:30:05 PM »
Granted, now you feel like warmed over crap.

I wish that I had a private jet

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #584 on: May 29, 2008, 12:34:11 PM »
A water jet starts blasting you right between your legs, causing you to be unable to function for the constant orgasms.

I wish I had a cat.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #585 on: May 29, 2008, 12:41:26 PM »
Granted... but it's a hungry cougar and she kills you before going back to her children.

I wish I had a private Jet! ^^

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #586 on: May 29, 2008, 01:09:30 PM »
Granted, warm water blasts you between your legs so hard it tears your penis off.  o.O

I wish I wasn't so tired all the time.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #587 on: May 29, 2008, 01:15:08 PM »
Ouch... Granted, but now you're just asleep all the time.

I wish that I didn't have to sleep in a lab again tonight...

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #588 on: May 29, 2008, 01:16:36 PM »
Granted, now everyone in the lab is asleep and naked exept you, your awake, fully clothed in winter gear and it's 90 degrees in the room. . .

I wish I was not sleeping all the time.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #589 on: May 29, 2008, 01:19:14 PM »
Granted, now you can wake up once a year, on the winter solstice, just to yawn and fall back asleep.

I wish I could be naked and take advantage of all the naked people here.

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #590 on: May 29, 2008, 01:20:24 PM »
Granted but they're all men from prision who end up taking advantage of you instead.

I wish I could murder you for making me sleep constantly.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #591 on: May 29, 2008, 01:23:22 PM »
Granted, but since I come back as a Zombie, I eat your brain...

I wish your brain tasted better!

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #592 on: May 29, 2008, 01:29:05 PM »
It does, but you go insane once you realize that you still don't have a penis and you're constantly being anally raped.

I wish I was a pony.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #593 on: May 29, 2008, 01:31:26 PM »
Granted, but since zombies are less fun to be raped, the convicts go after you for some free rides.

I wish I were back to normal

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #594 on: May 29, 2008, 01:35:03 PM »
Granted, but you're arrested under suspicion of brain eating.

I wish I could see through walls.

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #595 on: May 29, 2008, 01:36:22 PM »
Ganted, but you can never turn the power off so you always walk into them.

I wish I could clear my name

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #596 on: May 29, 2008, 01:38:27 PM »
Granted now you have no name. . .

I wish I was super sexy. . .

Offline BlackRose

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #597 on: May 29, 2008, 01:45:09 PM »
Granted, but now all women are super sexy so you're kind of normal again.

I wish that College didn't cost so much

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #598 on: May 29, 2008, 01:49:24 PM »
College is now free.  Provided you go to the mansion of a sex starved older woman to be her sex slave while she teaches you lessons.

I wish I was a lesbian.

Offline Seara

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #599 on: May 29, 2008, 01:54:05 PM »
Granted, but you have no tounge, no fingers or breasts and your privates have been sewn shut so it really isn't any fun at all.

I wish I knew what color to paint my toe nails