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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89500 times)

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Offline Idachan

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #225 on: August 13, 2007, 01:15:15 PM »
Wish granted, you can polymorph into a six inches high plastic dragon with six large horns coming out of your forehead. And oh, it's your least favourite colour and a bad shade of it to boot.

I wish I could go on studying forever.

Offline Idachan

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #226 on: August 13, 2007, 01:15:46 PM »
Hrm Ixy's was more fun.

Offline Ixy

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #227 on: August 13, 2007, 01:26:25 PM »
You can, but they're all care-bears.  God help us all.

I wish I had an orgasm every time I sneezed.

Offline Zombie Apocalypso

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #228 on: August 13, 2007, 02:14:14 PM »
Wish Granted  You may have an orgasm everytime you sneeze however you will also have flying monkeys come out your nose every time you sneeze.

I wish I could live beneath the ground where goverment satellites would not be able to see me

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #229 on: August 13, 2007, 03:55:22 PM »
Wish granted. You are now immortal, and you don't need to eat, sleep, or breath. However, in the process of becoming immortal, you were declared legally dead, and buried. The dirt used to bury you has you pinned, and you are unable to dig yourself out.

I wish that I had the power to turn invisible at will.

Offline Idachan

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #230 on: August 13, 2007, 04:00:04 PM »
Wish granted. But although you have the ability to turn invisible at will, the process of turning visible is excrutiatingly painful and doesn't always work.

I wish I had a better internet connection.

Offline Hunter

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #231 on: August 13, 2007, 08:53:17 PM »
Granted but then your computer would fry.

I wish for Idachan.

Offline Brandon

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #232 on: August 14, 2007, 01:07:27 AM »
Granted but she is locked away in a cage inside my bedroom, and you have no idea where the key is

I wish I could finish this new homebrewed fantasy setting in a few weeks rather then the years it will take


Offline Ixy

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #233 on: August 14, 2007, 12:55:47 PM »
Granted.  But no one will like it.

I wish I could spend an afternoon exploring the Vatican's basement with impunity.

Offline Zombie Apocalypso

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #234 on: August 14, 2007, 01:00:45 PM »
Granted But while in the basement you get bitten by a holy rat but instead of getting closer to your god you get a incurable case of rabies....

I wish I could make people's heads explode.....

Offline Archangel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #235 on: August 14, 2007, 01:05:56 PM »
Granted, unfortunately, yours is the first to go...

I wish I was a race car driver...

Offline Sethite

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #236 on: August 14, 2007, 01:17:46 PM »
Granted. But during your first race you had a crash that disqualifys you from races. Your team is sending you down and no one wants you.

I wish to be a president of United States.

Offline Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #237 on: August 14, 2007, 04:41:53 PM »
Wish granted but during your first day in the office a terrorist assassinates you.

I wish to join perfect DnD gaming group (whit good DM's, book sources, dices, players, playing location and players moods etc)

Offline Zombie Apocalypso

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #238 on: August 14, 2007, 05:13:03 PM »
Wish granted, however you soon realize these DnD players are part of a DnD cult and you get arrest for suspicion of Anarchy and are never heard from again

I wish all the animals in the zoo would get free and roam the streets of California...

Offline Hunter

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #239 on: August 14, 2007, 06:58:31 PM »
Granted but then the "big one" would come and California would fall into the Pacific ocean.

I wish I could finally have a decent life.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #240 on: August 14, 2007, 11:20:06 PM »
Granted. It's on the shelf, in the box that is impossible to open.

I wish life were more like it is in the movies.

Offline Lirliel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #241 on: August 14, 2007, 11:54:44 PM »
Wish granted, your car is repeatedly blown up, your house the same and you are attacked by large men carrying baseball bats.. just like an action movie.

I wish I didn't have to go to work today.

Offline belsammael

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #242 on: August 15, 2007, 04:55:21 AM »
wish granted, you don't have to go to work because you get abducted by Vogon aliens who do all sorts of hideous experiments on you, sexual ones too, then make you listen to their poetry.

I wish I could travel through space without getting lost.

Offline Sethite

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #243 on: August 15, 2007, 07:23:58 AM »
Wish granted. You can travel all over the space...but only at you pc games.

I wish to be princess.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #244 on: August 15, 2007, 01:25:04 PM »
Wish granted. You are forced into an arranged marriage to an ugly, inbreed moron with bad teeth for political reasons. By the way, you are expected to produce an heir within a few years, and you are closely watched to make sure that the heir you produce is actually his. Oh, and did I mention that he is lousy in bed?

I wish to be perfectly healthy.

Offline Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #245 on: August 15, 2007, 01:28:10 PM »
You are perfectly healthy; you have to manage this with a strict regimen of exercise and diet, no indulgences whatsoever, and since you wear a filtered breathing mask 24/7, nobody wants to look at or talk to you.

I wish I won't be without internet for the next 5 days.

Offline Amberghylles

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #246 on: August 17, 2007, 04:08:27 PM »
Wish granted, you gain the power to see and hear the internet from anywhere in your mind.  Unfortunately, you can't stop it to sleep or pay attention to anything in the meat world and spend the rest of your days in a hospital catatonic and insane from sleep depravation.

I wish I was a well-paid published writer.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #247 on: August 17, 2007, 05:47:39 PM »
Congratulations! You just published your first book! However, because you were a ghost writer, you didn't get credit for it, and you're being paid very well to keep your mouth shut, and due to your contract, you can't write under any other name.

I wish I was a god.

Offline Ixy

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #248 on: August 17, 2007, 05:54:12 PM »
Granted.  You are Set.  You have been castrated, are no longer woshipped, and are buried somewhere in the desert of Syria.

I wish that I had a pet mongoose.

Offline Brandon

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #249 on: August 18, 2007, 12:49:04 AM »
Granted but it confuses you for a snake and the results arent pretty

I wish I could see into the future