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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89374 times)

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Offline Apraxia

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2125 on: January 03, 2011, 01:51:01 AM »
Wish granted, but the infrared goggles that appear on your head seem to be super glued to your skull.

I wish this collar was made of something that didn't chafe so much.

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2126 on: January 04, 2011, 11:10:47 AM »
wish granted but the liquid honey collar attract a whole army of bees and the chaves become hives

I wish I had spaghetti hair

Offline kckolbe

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2127 on: January 04, 2011, 11:24:23 AM »
Granted, but..wait, spaghetti hair?  How do you mess with that?  Aha, your spaghetti looks and feels remarkably hair-like, and tastes horrible with marinara!

That may be a horrible wish perversion, but I am confident it will remain the most fun to have written.

I wish Houston would rename its team something other than Texans

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2128 on: January 04, 2011, 11:26:52 AM »
Granted but after renaming it "Something other than Texans" the audience lost faith and abandonned them.....which led to an inevitable downfall

I wish inter-species could procreate

Offline Apraxia

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2129 on: January 04, 2011, 09:48:33 PM »
Wish granted, and despite the the outcry of the public and disintegration of family values, the first manbearpig is born.

I wish I was a super rad gargoyle.

Offline Underneath

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2130 on: January 04, 2011, 10:14:54 PM »
Granted!  You turn into the coolest gargoyle, but the popular gargoyles won't let you join any gargoyle games ;)

I wish big breasted anime girls were real

Offline kckolbe

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2131 on: January 05, 2011, 12:52:05 AM »
Granted.  Unfortunately, a wave of back problems causes legislators to consider forcing breast reduction surgery on them, leaving pretty much every married man with a political opinion he is afraid to share with his wife.

I wish gargoyles were nicer.  Bastards.

Offline Underneath

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2132 on: January 05, 2011, 02:50:04 AM »
Granted!  Every gargoyle takes on every friendly child-like quality except for Apraxia, the Super Rad Gargoyle.  He suddenly feels superior and kills every other gargoyle except for those who swear to obey him.  (see what I did there? xD )

I wish there was no such thing as murder

Offline KikuLei

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2133 on: January 05, 2011, 03:18:51 AM »
Wish granted, the old definition of the word Murder goes to a new word called ' Shnoobokin '

I wish I had a sexy muscular latin straight pool cleaner...and I don't have a pool. :)

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2134 on: January 05, 2011, 10:42:14 AM »
granted but since the sexy muscular latin straight pool cleaner has no pool to clean he soon falls into depression leaving you stuck with the medical bills....and you end up homeless

I wish I could zap myself into a video game

Offline Remiel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2135 on: January 05, 2011, 01:18:05 PM »
Granted! Unfortunately, you find yourself in E.T. for the Atari 2600.  The near-ASCII graphics and non-sensical gameplay cause you to snap and Shnoobokin your entire neighborhood.

I wish, I wish, I wish I had a fish.

Offline DiverseDesires

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2136 on: January 05, 2011, 01:38:38 PM »
you fish it grows...

and grows....

and grows....

until, as a shark, you become it's main dish

~

I wish I could have a magic carpet to visit my friends on E

Offline Prototype

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2137 on: January 05, 2011, 01:40:25 PM »
You can visit all your friends but after you're done the carpet burns away and you are left in the middle of nowhere. :P

I wish I could seduce anyone by wish.

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2138 on: January 05, 2011, 07:50:26 PM »
granted but after making three wishes your soul becomes tied to the genie lamp and you have to wait for someone to wish the exact same thing to be freed.

I wish I had a kite

Offline kckolbe

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2139 on: January 05, 2011, 07:58:43 PM »
Granted, a big, beautiful kite, larger than any other ever made, able to lift a cow once the wind catches it, with a thick, very sticky string.

I wish Arrested Development to be brought back

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2140 on: January 05, 2011, 08:27:40 PM »
Granted, but as they start out with a new undeveloped plot, the series ends up completely destroying any previous reputation making people wish it hadn't ever existed.

I wish I was a piece of grass in a field

Offline Underneath

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2141 on: January 05, 2011, 08:35:37 PM »
Granted!  A dog with very bad diarrhea craps right on top of you and you slowly die under the god awful stench

I wish I no one in the world hated me.

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2142 on: January 05, 2011, 08:38:11 PM »
granted but the mass trauma of lacking hate results in enormous endorphins for love which transforms people into love-addicted zombies that cling to you like leeches

I wish I could talk Russian

Offline Prototype

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2143 on: January 05, 2011, 09:08:59 PM »
Granted, but skinheads come and beat the crap out of you cause you are different. <.<

I wish I did something that shall not be spoken about.

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2144 on: January 05, 2011, 09:50:21 PM »
granted but through not speaking people soon loose their voices because you invented language.

I wish I found a worldly treasure

Offline Apraxia

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2145 on: January 06, 2011, 11:17:43 PM »
Granted, but the earths  'liquid gold' turns out to be it's inner core which is 7,200 degrees F. Your earthly treasure incinerates you in microseconds upon contact.

I wish my husband to be was made out of candy.

Offline Anithinum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2146 on: January 07, 2011, 10:17:05 AM »
granted but as soon as he does, he becomes delisciously intoxicating and you eat him up completely....

I wish I could transform into an animal so I could speak to them

Offline Aria

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2147 on: January 11, 2011, 07:19:28 PM »
You turn into a raccoon. But now you are stuck like that, and can never be human again, or communicate with non-raccoons.

I wish gender changes were flawless.

Offline Underneath

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2148 on: January 11, 2011, 07:43:58 PM »
Granted!  Now every man in the world turns into a female because everyone knows females are more fun!  and the world starts to die down in population because giving birth has gone extinct

I wish I was smarter than I look

Offline Aria

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2149 on: January 11, 2011, 08:04:31 PM »
you now look REALLY stupid.

I wish that I were more motivated.