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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89448 times)

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Offline Amelita

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1975 on: November 05, 2010, 08:49:21 AM »
Granted. You now only own a single, barbershop striped shirt with orange buttons. Enjoy.


I wish I could teleport where ever I wanted

Offline zoarster

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1976 on: November 07, 2010, 01:03:48 AM »
Granted... but she teleports into your office twenty minutes after you've gotten fired for looking at Elliquiy while on the job.

I wish I could have sex with any woman I wanted.

Offline oraphi

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1977 on: November 07, 2010, 01:50:08 AM »
Granted! You become Nicholas.

I wish I had a sexy car that would never break down.


Offline Insanityenviesme

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1978 on: November 07, 2010, 01:02:11 AM »
Granted, but its a toy :)

I wish I can have an unlimited supply of milkshakes

Offline Endorphin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1979 on: November 07, 2010, 01:10:56 AM »
Granted, though it doesn't take too long for the milk to sour.

I wish that my fish would not breed as quickly as they have been over the past few months.

Offline Star Safyre

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1980 on: November 07, 2010, 07:51:04 AM »
Your fish are now all homosexuals.  (There's a sentence I didn't think I'd ever write...)

I wish for all my problem students to have profound realizations of how poorly they treat other people sometimes.

Offline DiverseDesires

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1981 on: November 07, 2010, 08:27:56 AM »
Granted - your students are now all consumed with so much guilt at how they've treated people in the past they get so depressed they can't get out of bed and come to class. You no longer have any students and you are fired.


I wish medicines didn't taste so bad

Offline Star Safyre

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1982 on: November 07, 2010, 10:28:52 AM »
They taste so good, you crave them and take little extra nips all day.  You wake up from an OD in the hospital.


I wish my back didn't hurt so much today.

Offline oraphi

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1983 on: November 07, 2010, 03:28:42 PM »
Granted, your husband has to leave on business for a week. (preventive care  >:) )

I wish my grocery would cost less. 

Offline zoarster

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1984 on: November 07, 2010, 05:44:25 PM »
Granted. There's some great free grub in the dumpster out back.

I wish I had more money.

Offline KikuLei

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1985 on: November 07, 2010, 06:36:34 PM »
Wish granted, but you marry a fat whore and she leaves you broker than before.

I wish I had a smart and sexy man! >:D

Offline Endorphin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1986 on: November 08, 2010, 02:01:31 AM »
Granted, you have an extremely smart and sexy man. Unfortunately, he is also gay.

I wish for a woman who pleases me in ways I have never before imagined.

Offline oraphi

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1987 on: November 08, 2010, 02:15:33 AM »
Granted, howerver her method of pleasing you involves a jar of warm honey, your cousins ant farm, and a funnel. (what?? It tickles I swear!  O:) )

I wish I had a nice cold pina colada.

Offline Endorphin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1988 on: November 08, 2010, 02:41:34 AM »
Granted. The pina colada is extremely refreshing - that is until the poison begins to take effect.

I wish for a house that is twice as large and twice as luxurious as my current house.

Offline Parlabane

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1989 on: November 08, 2010, 02:50:57 AM »
Granted. However, it's also eight times more expensive, so you only get to live there for a little while before they evict you.

I wish for it not to be Monday morning.

Offline oraphi

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1990 on: November 08, 2010, 03:29:48 AM »
Ganted, it's sunday night  :P

I wish coffee tasted better

Offline Endorphin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1991 on: November 08, 2010, 03:33:09 AM »
Granted. It has a substantially more sugar and it really does taste better. It's now called Coke.

I wish I had a helicopter and could fly it to travel wherever I wanted to much faster.

Offline Parlabane

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1992 on: November 08, 2010, 03:41:20 AM »
Granted, but you don't have the ability to land it safely when you get there.

I wish I could find some motivation for today.

Offline Rubicon

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1993 on: November 08, 2010, 08:31:19 AM »
Wish granted! After the nuclear war, there is finally time enough.

I wish my cat were feeling better.

Offline jd07coke

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1994 on: November 08, 2010, 12:08:48 PM »
Granted... It's recovery will be speeded by my positive thoughts.


I wish I could get away with half of the stuff I think of doing while watching the girls in the office!!

Offline zoarster

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1995 on: November 08, 2010, 03:51:28 PM »
Granted. You get away with the half that has to do with doing things to them naked. Unfortunately, you've already been arrested for the first half of the act.

I wish I could work from home

Offline KikuLei

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1996 on: November 08, 2010, 09:02:56 PM »
Wish granted, but you're now a prostitute... Pay up bitch. :P

I wish I had a tea-set. xD

Offline Endorphin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1997 on: November 08, 2010, 11:48:07 PM »
Granted. You have the most extravagent tea set ever known. Unfortunately, when it is unpacked, you find that is is broken into a thousand pieces.

I wish I could drink a magic remedy that instantly removed any sickness or hangover.

Offline DiverseDesires

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1998 on: November 09, 2010, 02:53:06 AM »
granted - but you find after taking it for a while it has a side effect - permanent sobriety - in the end you drink so much to try and get drunk you die of alcohol poisoning


I wish operations were painless


Offline Endorphin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1999 on: November 09, 2010, 03:26:11 AM »
Granted. All the operations conducted by the coroner are completely painless.

I wish I had the power to substitute any actor in a movie I'm watching with another person.