Author Topic: Perverted Wishes (Read 95398 times)

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1875 on:** July 28, 2010, 01:26:06 PM »

Granted, but you choke on its smoke and have a heart attack because you wanted me to buy it for you so I slipped some ricin onto the tip.

I wish for eternal happiness.

Lachesis · « **Reply #1876 on:** July 28, 2010, 01:33:52 PM »

Granted, but after a little spurt of wonderfulness, you live out eternity in abject mind-bending boredom, relieved of your doldrums only when the universe cataclysms into nothingness.

I wish I could be 5 inches taller.

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1877 on:** July 28, 2010, 01:37:10 PM »

granted, but everyone else is granted the same wish so you are right back where you started.

I wish for a garage full of carpentry tools

Lachesis · « **Reply #1878 on:** July 28, 2010, 01:52:19 PM »

Granted, but the garage is now so packed with tools, the one you need is always at the bottom, the wood has to be stored outside in the elements where it warps and stains, and there's no room for even your beer cooler.

I wish for an all-expenses paid trip to Ireland.

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1879 on:** July 28, 2010, 03:37:11 PM »

Granted, but the plane crashes before you land and you survive, but are horribly blinded so you see nothing ever again.

I wish I owned all the gold in the world.

lenka · « **Reply #1880 on:** August 01, 2010, 01:49:02 AM »

Granted, but then you would aslo claim the 'Midas touch' as well so you would die from your own wants.
I wish I could breath under water.

Endorphin · « **Reply #1881 on:** August 01, 2010, 06:07:17 AM »

Granted, you breathe under water fine until you are eaten by a shark.

I wish I could fly unassisted.

Sophyta · « **Reply #1882 on:** August 01, 2010, 06:56:13 AM »

Granted.

For some strange reason, a jetpack forms on your back and now you can fly anywhere you wish to.

I wish for a weasel.

lenka · « **Reply #1883 on:** August 04, 2010, 08:24:00 AM »

*Granted* but your weasel, weasels away never to be seen.

I wish for forever beautiful nails....

Lucius Cornelius · « **Reply #1884 on:** August 05, 2010, 02:25:47 AM »

granted, you have the most beautiful, sharp and long nails that you can imagine, ups, you can't touch yourself or even other without hurt them or yourself.

wish to been on holidays for a whole year

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1885 on:** August 05, 2010, 06:58:15 AM »

*poof* you are - but all of your personal property is confiscated and your personal holdings are taken as your family declares you deceased after the typical 2 week vacation

I wish for a...harem

abandoneddolly · « **Reply #1886 on:** August 05, 2010, 10:43:15 PM »

granted but they get jealous of each other and start a fight to the death

I wish for a fight

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1887 on:** August 07, 2010, 08:58:54 PM »

Granted, but first you must taste my arrow.

I wish for more like Dolly.

Sasha · « **Reply #1888 on:** August 08, 2010, 05:50:50 AM »

granted ...you wake up in a room full of blow up dolls and find no way to the door.

I wish for a partner that worships me .

Endorphin · « **Reply #1889 on:** August 08, 2010, 09:12:56 AM »

Granted, you have a partner that worships you from head to toe. In fact, they worship you so much that they neglect their own needs and eventually die of starvation.

I wish that I could have every one of my needs fulfilled at the mere press of an unbreakable button.

Amelita · « **Reply #1890 on:** August 08, 2010, 09:45:06 AM »

Granted. Instead you lose your libido, sense of taste and sense of smell...

I wish for a harem of both men and women

Michael Corvus · « **Reply #1891 on:** August 08, 2010, 09:51:51 AM »

Granted. You suddenly have a harem of hermaphrodites (both men and women) but they are so busy with each other that they leave neglect you, leaving your insatiable libido revving with no one to... pop your clutch. lol

I wish I were romantically/sexually irresistible to beautiful, young, sweet and passionate single women.

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1892 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:00:23 AM »

Granted - so much so that you find yourself in legal trouble...because...well...I don't think I can say anymore

I wish I could throw a laptop charger to Iceland.

Michael Corvus · « **Reply #1893 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:04:11 AM »

Quote from: talesoferoticadventure on August 08, 2010, 10:00:23 AM

Granted - so much so that you find yourself in legal trouble...because...well...I don't think I can say anymore

I wish I could throw a laptop charger to Iceland.

(LOL ... not THAT young. I did say 'Women'

)

Granted. You throw a laptop charger to Iceland but the velocity at which the charger traveled was so great and it's trajectory was so high that upon reentering low earth orbit, the charger began to heat up and landed at it's intended destination and melted, smoking lump of plastic.

I wish I could visit with all of my friends here on E irl whenever I wanted.

Brian Boru · « **Reply #1894 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:08:28 AM »

Granted, but we all die of sleep deprivation

I wish for teleportation to be invented immediately so a laptop charger can be teleported to previously identified coordinates

Amelita · « **Reply #1895 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:41:21 AM »

Granted (you sweety you) but the laptop crashes.

I wish for patience

Lucius Cornelius · « **Reply #1896 on:** August 08, 2010, 10:43:11 AM »

granted but you have to be a day with me to see if you have enough patiente now... giggles

Wish the past wish was true... *giggles*

Leo · « **Reply #1897 on:** September 12, 2010, 07:07:19 PM »

Granted. Nothing bad happens, because I'm not sure which wish you're talking about

I wish Harley was online.

Spice · « **Reply #1898 on:** September 21, 2010, 09:46:24 AM »

Granted, but due to a bad internet connection, Harley can't get on Elliquiy.

I wish I could take the day off today.

Zaer Darkwail · « **Reply #1899 on:** October 04, 2010, 06:57:46 AM »

Wish granted, but your day off is filled with stress and real life chaos that you wish you were back at work.

I wish my parents fever would calm down and parents would become healthy again :/