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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89397 times)

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Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1575 on: April 24, 2010, 11:54:28 AM »
Wish Granted! You now have a box like that which would contain a wedding ring, but instead has a button that when pushed will dissolve the company behind Time magazine.

I wish I was on the cover of Time magazine, issue titled "Best Person Ever!"

Offline alxnjsh

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1576 on: April 24, 2010, 03:20:53 PM »
Done! But it was in 1917 and you're now six feet under.

I wish it was fall.

Offline GeekFury

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1577 on: April 24, 2010, 04:06:21 PM »
Wish granted, speeding time up as caused serious effects to the enviroment and the world is now dieing faster than it should be.

I wish the Ananeim Duck will win the Stanley C.up

Offline alxnjsh

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1578 on: April 24, 2010, 04:16:12 PM »
Granted, but hell has frozen over and we die.

I wish you would make me dinner.

Offline GeekFury

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1579 on: April 24, 2010, 04:19:26 PM »
Wish granted, you get food poisoning as I'm an awful cook.

I wish I could think of something to wish for..

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1580 on: April 24, 2010, 05:01:47 PM »
All of a Sudden your self loathing pops up, and in an unscripted moment of terror were you cant remember how you got from point a to point be your cock and balls are in the Cuisinart being rendered from your body.


I'd like to buy the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow white turtle doves.

Chorus:
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing.

(Repeat chorus)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing

Chorus 2:
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

(Repeat chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

I'd like to teach the world to sing
Sing with me (background)
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing

(Repeat chorus)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing.

(Chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

(Repeat chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing
 

Offline Zebu

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1581 on: April 26, 2010, 12:59:29 AM »
Granted!  But you, personally, get cut from the final version because you don't fit the company version of a perfect world.

I wish I knew why the 1-2 post title was "Olive Oil."

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1582 on: April 26, 2010, 01:16:03 AM »
Wish granted.. but know one else gets it...

I wish healthy food was tastier.

Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1583 on: April 26, 2010, 06:57:58 AM »
Wish Grated! All health food comes with tongues now, to taste you better.

I wish for a big bronze statue of myself.

Offline Zebu

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1584 on: April 26, 2010, 12:13:52 PM »
Wish granted!  You're dipped in bronze and put on a pedestal.  The masses gawk at you.

I wish I was a God.

Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1585 on: April 26, 2010, 01:34:34 PM »
Wish Granted! You are the patron deity of mouldy leftovers. Nobody prays to you.

I wish I got an award for counting to infinity that one time.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1586 on: April 26, 2010, 02:09:47 PM »
Your wish works perfectly , your reward is that you do absolutely nothing and experience nothing ever, even after the end of time itself.

I wish  that a sexy female french maid, who has enough of a grip on the English language that we could teach each other the ins and outs of communication between each other , would be introduced to me after a break up with her current master / bf , and need to get married soon in order to stay in the country, we do , and quickly fall in actual love and lust, passing the us immigration scrutiny, and have many many happy years together. 

Offline Zebu

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1587 on: April 26, 2010, 03:12:10 PM »
Your wish is granted.  One night while you're out near a bar, a man beats you up to show off for his submissive French immigrant girlfriend.  He injures you severely, causing her to leave him.  A doctor introduces her to you as the person who brought you to the hospital.  You marry out of mutual love and lust.  You have many happy years together; the only blight on your happiness is the injuries you sustained the first time you saw her--  you're blind, quadriplegic, and no longer have a sense of touch.  With the amount and type of medications you have to take, you would be happy with a gorilla.

I wish I had a really good meal tonight.

Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1588 on: April 26, 2010, 03:22:45 PM »
Wish Granted! You go out to a ten star restaurant and order the lobster tortellini. After an amazing seven course, you go to pay only to discover that you're way too poor to even afford the waiter's shoes, let alone the meal you have eaten. You now have to spend ten years washing dishes, at another restaurant entirely, to pay off your debt.

I wish my can opener worked so that I can have the launch I wanted.

Offline TheLovelyMaid

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1589 on: April 26, 2010, 04:52:06 PM »
Wish Granted!  But it breaks again, right before you go to launch!

I wish it were summer vacation already.

Offline Lucius Cornelius

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1590 on: April 26, 2010, 04:54:52 PM »
wish granted, but sadly your boss call you, you have to work all the summer

wish finish the work and go to sleep.

Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1591 on: April 26, 2010, 05:31:06 PM »
Wish Granted! Your work is done and you fall asleep. However, due to your state if drowsiness, it is full of errors. Your are fired next time you supervisor checks your work, which is in 5... 4... 3...

I really wish I had something to eat right now.

Offline GeekFury

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1592 on: April 26, 2010, 05:49:04 PM »
Wish granted but it's roast spiders and fried maggots, enjoy!

I wish knew how to ice skate

Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1593 on: April 26, 2010, 06:22:32 PM »
Wish Granted! You know how to ice skate. Now go develop the muscle memory and balance to actually do it!

I wish for some peppers to go with these bugs.

Offline Merry Gentry

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1594 on: April 26, 2010, 10:11:04 PM »
Granted, but they are rotten on the inside and you don't realize it till you take a bite

I wish for summer to be here

Offline Zebu

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1595 on: April 27, 2010, 01:40:53 PM »
Granted-- summer is here (don't I know it) but you aren't.  Sorry.

I wish all of my wishes turned out exactly how I want them to.

Offline TheLovelyMaid

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1596 on: April 27, 2010, 05:39:39 PM »
Wish Granted!  But then no one else would respond in this thread.

I wish my computer would function correctly.

Offline the taken

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1597 on: April 27, 2010, 09:05:31 PM »
Wish Granted! But now the keyboard isn't working properly.

I wish for a key chain made in m image.

Offline GeekFury

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1598 on: April 28, 2010, 05:17:16 AM »
Wish granted, but now you habe a metal ring throufgh yure head attached to giant keys.

I wish for a Lantern Ring!

Offline bytchboii21690

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1599 on: April 28, 2010, 05:32:08 AM »
granted but now everyone who looks at you becomes permanently blind

I wish to be transformed from the sissy man that i am to a beautiful woman