April 1st to 28th [228-248] - Death Is Only The Beginning...
I keep forgetting to figure out the days. All I know is that the past four weeks have been up, down, all around and side to side. Good and not-so good things have happened but all of it a great experience. Here it is starting from the beginning of April but no viable dates are remembered since my mind was all over the place the past few weeks. Only last two weeks have I been putting my mind back together. This is going to be broken up into two to three more threads since there is a lot of writing to be given. For now, I want to speak about...
Death is only the beginning.
I have heard this quote from The Mummy and if anyone has not seen it, you should because you might even like it. Nonetheless, death is something writers, poets, artists and many more individuals bring up in their subjects. Usually I try not to talk about death too much. For one, I celebrate death which is a bit macarbe but continue reading. The culture I grew up in celebrates one's passing, honors and remembers their life on the earth. Day of the Dead translated from Día de los Muertos which celebrates and recalls the relatives, friends and family who have gone on into the next journey. Some people may find it weird for individuals to sell skull candy or walk around with their faces painted like a skeleton but it is a time to rejoice in the good times and say death is not an end but a beginning. Well, I needed to see someone about his beginning.
In the beginning of April, I finally took the courage to visit my friend's grave after his passing in January. I mentioned him in my A.A's and his funeral where it seemed my dislike of funerals disappeared for one day. I am not fond of funerals nor do I like going to funerals. I have an aversion to going to a service let alone entering into a church. I am not all that religious and while I do wear the rosaries around my neck and wrist, I know I am a fraud. The commandments were all broken except murder and I believe something else much evil growing up. Rebelling against a religion that was not my choice was hard and dramatic but I have come to a somewhat peace with religion. I believe in karma and reincarnation. You play games with moi and it is going to come back to bite you where the sun does not shine.
By no means am I perfect but going to see my friend's grave, put down a card and some flowers at his grave site made me feel at peace with him. Over the years we lost touch and the past two years with his cancer, I was sad that someone who grew up with me as a child could be inflicted in his prime with cancer. His mother had reason and her religion to say that God has his plan for my friend and when she said those words, I did not feel angry or spiteful at the meaning behind her words. He had some other purpose and to visit his grave gave some peace. I will visit his grave when I can but his presence is not there but with his familia. When November comes around and even before the holiday, he is talked about, remembered and his son (who looks square on like him and who even has his personality to match) who will bring memories of his father into the future. His son is a wonderful child though he is a camera person just like his father.
Myself, I do not plan to leave this earth anytime soon. Even when the time comes, I want to be in a warm bed, surrounded by family and with the memories of the glorious times I have had with the familia, friends and lovers.
Death is only the beginning.