Even after all of these years.....I still miss her.
I only knew her for 5 and a half years, but it's amazing how much of those five years I can still remember. I was so little, so young when she was taken from me, but yet I still have vivid memories of our time together. I can see her face at times, almost smell her perfume....
I can see her in my children's faces, hear her in their laughter and it's almost as if she's still with me. I look into their faces and can't help but feel sad that she's missing out on seeing them grow, but deep down I know that she does see them, she does watch over them as well as me.
There are days even after all of these years that I want to curl up in a ball and just cry....my five year old self missing her so much that it's a painful thing. Though the ache has lessened over the years, the pain never ever truly goes away. There will always be part of me that hurts because she isn't here, always be a part of me that feels like something is missing.
Even after all of these years I still yearn to see her, would give anything at all to just be able to hug her....to be able to look into her eyes. To do the simple things that so many people take for granted like having a simple conversation on the phone.
Years go by, memories fade, but the heart remembers, the heart never forgets.
She will always be part of me.
And I part of her.
I miss you mom.....even after all of these years.