Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
This is what has plagued my thoughts tonight. Somehow the misfortunes of today have pondered over my future here at Elliquiy. I have a lot of things that give me happiness but to have something important taken away makes me wonder where I add up in this equation. Somehow, it makes me wonder if it is even worth it anymore. No, I am not contemplating suicide for I am not that far off the deep end. Hell, I rather be murdered by a psychopath which goes to show my wicked ways. I do not plan to leave Elliquiy. Nonetheless, it made me ponder my worth and what I should do next with this vida loca life of mine.
Familia is wonderful and in May, lil' Mar-Mar (younger sister) will turn another year older which goes to show that familia keeps growing and evolving. I am grateful for their support. They have supported my crazy antics and much love to the next generation growing up in the clan. They are going to have it easier or harder depending on the way the world is being made out to be.
School is great since I made the Dean's List, have a 3.67 GPA and I am in the top ten of my Department. I am flying high on college and school will end for the semester May 15th. The only tough thing I have to worry about are one page papers and reading a book to discuss in class. I have no reason to worry over my grades. I do worry more about how much time I spend in class than exploring the outside world.
Social life is even better. I made friends in San Francisco and I have met people who have fallen into my arms. I made friends with coworkers and hang out with them or talk to them online. In this day and age, it is easy to talk through Facebook, Twitter or other websites. I love the way things are going.
Work is getting better and I have security in coming back for next semester. I may be working twice a day but I put everything into those two days for the preschool children I aid. I have come to see the children as surrogate nieces and nephews.
Relationships is a mystery because I am sort of seeing two people but it is BDSM relationship which I find even more intriguing. I enjoy how I am and the way I am dating, I will easily find a partner to add to my lifestyle.
However, I do not know where I will be with Elliquiy. I blog, I roleplay, I socialize, I mentor(ed) and yet it feels as if none of it means jack. None of it matters if it gets taken away or it falls to pieces. Perhaps, I feel this way because I have no clue what my future with Elliquiy will be like two months from now. I have been on many other sites and enjoyed being there (even if a past few went to shit later on). Along with being a psychology major, I plan to pursue writing and want to get a few articles published. Almost two years here at Elliquiy and almost 20,000 posts but my hunger is not satisfied. A hunger which wants to do more and be more, yet it is never services. Is Elliquiy a haven or is it another stepping stone?
I do not know but I am waiting to see where it takes me in the next two months. Let me get my helmet and let us roll out.
Whip in one hand and a tempting apple in the other,
Miss Marguerite & The City...