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Author Topic: What I have learned by playing videogames.  (Read 747 times)

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Offline Chevalier des PoissonsTopic starter

What I have learned by playing videogames.
« on: March 14, 2010, 05:55:03 PM »
1 - By playing videogames I have learned that my heart beats faster when I am dying.

2 - By playing videogames I have learned that ninjas, barbarians and even dolphins can pilot airplanes (Sonic Wings)

3 - By playing videogames I have learned that usually everything can be solved by jumping on your enemy's head.

4 - By playing videogames I have learned that hitting the controller harder won't make my attacks stronger.

5 - By playing videogames I have learned that sometimes we can go inside a pipe, and sometimes we can walk on clouds (Super Mario)

6 - By playing videogames I have learned that no matter what security tip we get, we won't obey it anyway.

7 - By playing videogames I have learned that in 6 tiny squares you can store pistols, machine guns and rifles (Resident Evil)

8 - By playing videogames I have learned that Santa's toybag isn't that awesome as I expected, because I can store 50 bazookas in my pocket

9 - By playing videogames I have learned that if someone gets poisoned, what they need to do is to stay still, because the poison only acts if they walk (RPGs)

10 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I want to turn on the lights, chop down a tree or even cut a small bush, I need the help of a pokemon.

11 - By playing videogames I have learned that regardless of the fight, if I do 'down - front - punch', something interesting will happen.

12 - By playing videogames I have learned that 80% of the bosses have an extra transformation that he uses after we beat them.

13 - By playing videogames I have learned that a knife is deadlier than a bullet (Metal Slug)

14 - By playing videogames I have learned that professional skaters are not that awesome, because I make 10,000,000 in one combo (Tony Hawk's Pro Skater)

15 - By playing videogames I have learned that a woman's fighting ability is directly proportional to their bra's size.

16 - By playing videogames I have learned mushrooms not only make you double your size, but they can also be used as nitro.

17 - By playing videogames I have learned that if you uppercut your opponent you both go one stage above (Mortal Kombat)

18 - By playing videogames I have learned that Zeus is an idiot (God of War)

19 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I am underwater I just need to swallow a bubble to recover my air (Sonic)

20 - By playing videogames I have learned that mushrooms are the best way to grow up (Super Mario)

21 - By playing videogames I have learned that monkeys love to stay inside barrels (Donkey Kong)

22 - By playing videogames I have learned that the amount of girls attracted to you is inversely proportional to the amount of games you have ever completed

23 - By playing videogames I have learned that Mario mistreats Yoshi by beating his head to make him eat something (Super Mario)

24 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I crash my car at 180 miles per hour I won't suffer a single scratch.

25 - By playing videogames I have learned that winners don't do drugs - Willams S. Session - FBI (Arcade)

26 - By playing videogames I have learned that even if I am invicible I will still die if I fall in the lava or into a hole

27 - By playing videogames I have learned that the image of the AV channel is always better than the open tv channels

28 - By playing videogames I have learned that if the snipers hits the enemy, he will die, regardless of where he hits.

29 - By playing videogames I have learned that the 'select' button is in almost every console, but is almost always useless.

30 - By playing videogames I have learned that flashlights batteries only last few hours, except in Silent Hill

31 - By playing videogames I have learned that everytime someone says something like "The stone has been shattered in four pieces", you will have to gather those pieces.

32 - By playing videogames I have learned that all kingdoms have exactly one city, and sometimes only one village, and that's all

33 - By playing videogames I have learned that if a red dot is dancing on my body, this is a bad sign.

34 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I fall from a cliff some weird thing on a cloud will save me

35 - By playing videogames I have learned that panic musics always get us panicked.

36 - By playing videogames I have learned that there is always something behind the waterfall

37 - By playing videogames I have learned that staying in a bomb's line is suicide (Bomberman)

38 - By playing videogames I have learned that I may be able to drop bombs, use strategies, pilot spaceships and save planets, but I will never ever be able to do something so tricky as jumping (Bomberman)

39 - By playing videogames I have learned that if a monster touches me I will be only wearing my boxers (Ghouls 'n ghosts)

40 - By playing videogames I have learned that a terrible monster wants to kidnap a princess and never do anything to her.

41 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I am fighting someone and knock them out, they will suddenly stand without a scratch, and a misteryous voice will come from noewhere to say 'Round 2, fight!'.

42 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I ever uppercut someone chances are that a funny-looking guy with a pink t-shirt will appear and say toasty

43 - By playing videogames I have learned that the evil masked guy that is beating everyone is most probably my father, or my friend's father (Art of Fighting).

44 - By playing videogames I have learned that no matter what my enemy does to me, I will forgive him and even try to save him, if he is about to fall from a cliff (Fatal Fury)

45 - By playing videogames I have learned if you give a pair of Nike shoes to a hedgehog he will run faster than the speed of sound (Sonic)

46 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I ever become the mayor of a big city and my daughter is kidnapped, I don't need to call the police, I just need to call my son-in-law, and a ninja with a red kimono will suddenly appear and volunteer to help because he is nice like that (Final Fight)

47 - By playing videogames I have learned the strenght of my attacks is directly proportional to the intensity I scream them

48 - By playing videogames I have learned that it is perfectly reasonable to jump, spin your legs four times and scream "Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku" without touching the floor.

49 - By playing videogames I have learned that if I jump on eight people I get a free life (Super Mario)

50 - By playing videogames I have learned that I never need to rest, I will be fully healed if I beat enough people to level up.

51 - By playing videogames I have learned that sleeping doesn't give experience.


From an email I have just received.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2010, 06:23:14 PM »
A few more.

By playing video games I have learned that that Newton is a liar and a second jump is possible despite gravity.

By playing video games I have learned that the Echidna can glide.

By playing video games I have learned that the difficulty in life is directly proportional to the amount of time spent therein.

Offline PrimalChaos

Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2010, 11:11:48 AM »
I learned that it is always best to greet someone by announcing that your WORDS ARE BACKED UP BY NUCLEAR WEAPONS (Civ 2)

I learned that Tenochtitlan, Rome and Washington D.C. were all founded in the same year (Civilization)

I learned to always keep hope, because sometimes, sometimes, a militia armed with pickforks can sink a battleship. (Civ2)

I learned that every soldier has at least five weapons on him at any time, if not more. One of these weapons is always a rocket launcher.

I learned the most powerful weapon in the universe is often a chainsaw.

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Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2010, 01:57:08 PM »
4 - By playing videogames I have learned that hitting the controller harder won't make my attacks stronger.

But...but...it makes me feel better. V_V

Offline Oniya

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Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2010, 02:08:26 PM »
4 - By playing videogames I have learned that hitting the controller harder won't make my attacks stronger.

Similarly, leaning in the same direction as you push the analog controller will not increase your speed of turning.

Offline stormsfury

Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2010, 11:49:39 PM »
Similarly, leaning in the same direction as you push the analog controller will not increase your speed of turning.

Also, similarly, if you are standing behind a column (or whatever) I can't see around the corner by leaning my own body to do so. (this is equally ineffective no matter which direction you need to see in, over, below, etc.)

I also learned that shouting at the screen doesn't make the character's actions any more or less effective.

I also learned that you can cram a lot of crap in a six inch by six inch backpack, including a shovel, broom, or MP-5. (Tomb Raider)

I also learned that when you make a jump, kicking your legs doesn't make the character jump farther. (Also Tomb Raider)


Offline FlaminGlory

Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2010, 11:56:53 PM »
I learned that sometimes the henchmen are stupid and you can stand in plain sight before you shoot them (James Bond)

I learned that as soon as the music changes something bad is about to happen


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Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2010, 12:07:04 AM »
I learned death is a minor inconvenience unless you can't find your corpse back or can't reach it. But then again, contacting a friendly Game Master will help you out to get your body back without a scratch! (WoW)

I've learned that graveyards are the place your spirit is send to when you have died, so you have to walk back to your body. There are no corpses buried there. (WoW again)

Offline FlaminGlory

Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2010, 12:11:41 AM »
I learned that causing enough mayhem will send the army after you. (GTA)

I learned that there is always happy endings even for the most evil of characters.

I learned you can lock on a target and your bullets will reach them.

Offline PrimalChaos

Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2010, 06:36:48 AM »
I learned that anything that is red explodes when shot.

I learned that sometimes you go faster if you jump all the time instead of running.

I learned that bombs flash like a strobe light as they approach detonation.

Offline BlisteredBlood

Re: What I have learned by playing videogames.
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2010, 05:27:39 PM »
I learned from video games that a green or red jewel will either add and/or subtract from your current stats, summon forth a devastating monster to do your bidding and even channel energy to unleash an immensely powerful spell that can eradicate your enemies in one fell swoop. (Final Fantasy 7)

I also learned from video games that your own hair can both be used as a weapon as well as clothe you, despite it's about as tight as leather. (Bayonetta)

I also learned in video games that if you get critically injured, you can locate a first aid kit on a wall to replenish your health progressively depending on what difficulty you set it to. Furthermore, you can also find batteries along the ground to charge up your suit to help sustain more damage. (Half-Life)

Another thing I have also learned from video games is that by putting your controller against your arm, someone will then make the controller vibrate to get the feeling back into your forearm. (Metal Gear Solid)

One last thing I learned from video games? Always listen to Luis when he screams out, "Pills here!" (Left 4 Dead)