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Author Topic: I hate you!  (Read 865 times)

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Offline Lady LunariusTopic starter

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I hate you!
« on: March 04, 2010, 11:58:22 PM »
You weren't there:
The day I turned 13
I was a teen,
Someone more mature.
Someone new in school, but what else was new?

You weren't there:
The day I turned 16
Got My permit, a bit late but that's just me
I'm bigger than you'll remember ....if you remember

You weren't there:
When I became an adult....
18 years old...
I can buy smokes (not that I would..)
I can vote (If there's anyone worth voting for)
I'm going to college...I hope I make it

You Aren't Here:
I'm 20 now,
Out of the teens,
So much is different a lot of things have changed
I'm not so shy, quite the opposite.
I didn't make it through college..
I'm working though...

I've found someone who loves me, and treats me right.
You'd like him, I know you would

You wont be there:
If I get married,
You can't walk me down the asile (If that ever happens)
You can't give me away.

What if I have kids?
You wont get to see them
Or play with them
Or hold them...
They wont know you, just like I didn't...

Should I hate you like this?
For leaving me alone.
So much has happened,
I wanted you here...
Why did you leave me?

It's been 9 years,
And I still can't forgive you
I still dream about you?
I hear your laugh

I still smell your cologne.
I see the way your eyes light up when you laugh...
I love you, but I can't stand that you left...
I hate you....I hate you so much....
I love you....


Okay So I know it's not a poem...I know its not one of my dreams that I said I'd be blogging...but this month is the anniversary of my dad's death and these things have been dragging me down the last few days.  I'm sorry if these seems like a waste to you but I needed to get it out...somehow...
« Last Edit: March 05, 2010, 12:05:41 AM by Lady Lunarius »

Offline Vekseid

Re: I hate you!
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2010, 12:11:40 AM »
*hugs*

Not the only anniversary of a death. March is miserable in too many ways.

Offline Lady LunariusTopic starter

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Re: I hate you!
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2010, 12:15:31 AM »
~Hugs back~ Yeah, it is a miserable month isn't it? Too much rain...and the random sunshine taunts those stuck within thick walls...this only is the icing on top of it all..
« Last Edit: March 05, 2010, 12:57:43 AM by Lady Lunarius »

Offline Moreth

Re: I hate you!
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2010, 08:45:08 AM »
I lost a good friend in March, I am always reminded of it here because of the wind March brings. Keep your head up!

Offline alxnjsh

Re: I hate you!
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2010, 10:04:21 AM »
Thank you for sharing. I lost someone special this week as well. The emotions are always so confusing.

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: I hate you!
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2010, 10:23:12 AM »
I was told that he was dead
And gone from me forever.
I found out too late that wasn't true.
He had only died two months before that.

The one who stayed and told the lie
Doesn't give a damn and never did.
She told me once
She shouldn't have had me,
And I'm lucky I can't have kids
Because all they are is trouble.

It wasn't March when he died but July.  It's strange but I'm not connected to anyone who was born or died in March.  Well, I wasn't until last year when I met someone online who's become a terrific friend.

Anyway, March is the only month that didn't have a birthday or anniversary of any kind.

Online mannik

Re: I hate you!
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2010, 02:34:22 PM »
An expression of sorrow over the death of a loved one is never a waste, of time, of space, or of energy. It might not have been a poem. And it might not have been a dream you promised to blog. But it was touching, and did jerk a tear or two.
 
*offers hug*
 
 
That said.... stop hating on the month of March! Its not March's fault! *storms off to celebrate his upcoming birthday*

Offline wifey0156

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Re: I hate you!
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2010, 05:34:34 PM »
Its not a waste.  Writing can be very healing.

Thank you for sharing this.

*hug*

Offline Remiel

Re: I hate you!
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2010, 07:23:46 PM »
Very touching, Lady L.  I'm sorry for your loss.  :-\