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Author Topic: Online Dating.  (Read 936 times)

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Offline AndyTopic starter

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Online Dating.
« on: January 10, 2010, 07:08:04 AM »
Online Dating sites, Second Life, Community Boards, You all know the places, im just wondering if anyone had any thoughts for Debate on Online Dating, Is it a good thing? are there any bad benefits or good benefits with it when compared to normal dating?

Offline Kip

Re: Online Dating.
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2010, 07:14:29 AM »
Personally, I've found a couple of really nice guys online but none that really suited me longterm.  As my own concept of gender and, as a result, my concepts of whom I am attracted to has developed, I have found it harder to find a date through online sites.

I think that the are certain benefits - it's a good way to scan through a multitude of profiles and options to find people who you think suit you.  With that comes a negative - you can judge people on trivial issues that really wouldn't be considered otherwise.  Such judgment can lead to shallowness...  that would be my major criticism.

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Re: Online Dating.
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2010, 11:04:28 AM »
I can't say anything about Second Life since I'm not using this, nor will I ever. I heard way too much bad stuff about it to consider it. I haven't been on online dating sites very often, I have to admit. Just on a couple of gay chats and dating stuff.
The times I have been there, the only thing you can get easily is sex and easy hook-ups. My experience wasn't so very overwhelming, most guys on there want just this one thing.

I think that the are certain benefits - it's a good way to scan through a multitude of profiles and options to find people who you think suit you.  With that comes a negative - you can judge people on trivial issues that really wouldn't be considered otherwise.  Such judgment can lead to shallowness...  that would be my major criticism.
And I second this.

Offline kylie

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Re: Online Dating.
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2010, 01:21:57 AM »
          One of the general criticisms of online socializing is that so much revolves around profile systems.  Many people feel a great amount of pressure to create profiles that should inspire certain reactions in "most" people through a picture and/or very few words.  Finer detail and more creative representation may be more honest or expressive...  However, it reduces one's chance of being recognized by many people as a "good" member of a larger category of desirable people.  This is a dilemma.  I think it's present on most sites.  I'm not convinced that the "shallow" factor is actually more than in face to face interactions.  Perhaps it's a different kind of bias, and it affects some people more than others.

          I often feel like a minority inside a minority when it comes to sexual networking.  Between my own particular interests, a general preference to select fewer "good" matches rather than numerous "possible" ones, and the distorting effects of searching by profile...  I don't expect any site to generate hundreds of hits at a time for me.  That said, there are usually some gems buried among the mountains of data.  I do believe there are opportunities online to talk out issues that might be less practical to work through in the flesh.  There is also some opening for connecting through fantasy and selective presentation of self, first.  Whether that's helpful depends on mutual goals (and fantasies).

           I suppose networking sites, Second Life and talkers are different from "dating sites" proper.  I expect that traditional dating areas would focus more on individual searches.  In the networking sites, one can also spend time in various communal rooms; that adds a different way to get to know people.  Second Life and other sites where people can invest money and simulate environments or poses might have more potential for exploring whether people have compatible ideas about wealth, space, and visual style.  Some people see this as too simplistic a model.  Others find that it helps select/cut to what could be ideal or possibly, most important.   
« Last Edit: January 11, 2010, 01:23:03 AM by kylie »

Offline Dramen

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Re: Online Dating.
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2010, 11:36:28 AM »
I can chime in on this a bit. A few years ago I found myself joining almost every free dating site there was. I was also on myspace at the time. Something I found was really a sense of altered reality. I know for me as well as for some people I knew the idea of meeting someone on a dating site really expected to bring a meaningful relationship.

I personally in my everyday life wanted a life long partner to share life with. On the dating sites however I was just out for fun. So really I misrepresented myself to those on the site. I think that's the case with many on those sites though I can't say for sure.

Of course, as an added strange part to my story, I never found someone to even date on any of those sites. I found a friend or two but not even a one night stand.  However I actually met my wife on myspace. So while I don't believe dating sites really work to provide meaningful relationships; I believe that special spark can happen anywhere.

Offline Idle

Re: Online Dating.
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2010, 09:16:51 PM »
I don't see online dating as a bad thing. I guess it would just depend on how serious you want to get. The more serious you want the relationship, possibly to the point where you want to eventually meet, is a little harder to come by.

One of my close friends prefers to date online because she is abstinent. She said that she enjoys it because she gets to meet various kinds of guys and pick one she really likes without the risk of losing control with them physically.

The only bad thing I see about online dating is that the other person can easily blow you off. There is no running into them at the grocery store and that being your chance to ask them "What the hell?" or something. They can just be rid of you and you may be so hooked that it would be hard for you to get over. I dunno. I guess everyone has their own opinions.