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Author Topic: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?  (Read 1771 times)

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Offline LeonisTopic starter

Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« on: December 14, 2009, 09:29:38 AM »
Yesterday I met an online friend of mine in an online game and found out that her character was not being controlled by her but by her best friend; she had died unexpectedly in a car accident. I still can't get over this shocking news as this friend was special to me in a certain way, and she also owed me a substantial amount of in-game money that I wouldn't have loaned anyone else. When her next-of-kin gave me her belongings, all she had was pocket change and a handful of worthless items on her character, which made me wonder how she planned to pay off her debt in the first place. Nevertheless, I put all her belongings in an in-game museum as a memorial to her. I don't know how old she was, where she lived, or whether I'll see her again in the afterlife, but somehow she was special to me.

Offline TheWriter

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2009, 09:45:58 AM »
He wasn't so much a friend, but an acquaintance: Reuben Kee.  He was heavily into the OC remix and MUGEN scenes, it hit both communities pretty hard.

Offline LeonisTopic starter

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2009, 09:50:11 AM »
I am somewhat familiar with both of those things! Particularly MUGEN, I want to know how to get it to work!

Offline Lilias

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2009, 10:12:12 AM »
Those of us who have been here for at least a year were shaken by the loss of NightBird, last March. We will be missing her for a long time.

Offline LeonisTopic starter

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2009, 11:45:42 AM »
GodDAMMIT! I've been had!

I talked to a friend of this person and found that it was not a she but a he, and that he made up that story to explain why he won't be using that account anymore! He faked his own death to weasel out of a large debt he owed! When I confronted him on this, he put me on ignore! Now what!? How do I track him down!?

Offline auroraChloe

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2009, 12:06:39 PM »
i have both lost someone to death and been 'had'.  both are painful though the pain is quite different. 
« Last Edit: December 14, 2009, 12:38:17 PM by XXXmasChloe »

Offline MabFaerie

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Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2009, 12:36:12 PM »
I had a friend I lost once, she was a fellow roleplayer (Actually played my first girlxgirl roleplay with me ^^;) and was recovering from alcoholism when she found out she had cancer.
We talked off and on throughout the last few years of her life, but I kept more in touch with her cousin than her simply because she was in the hospital so often.
In the end it was her cousin who told me the news.
My friend appeared to be getting better, but had been struck with more ailments and her body was just too weak the handle it anymore. 

It can be very very hard to deal with when you lose someone, especially when they're an online friend, since closure can be a bit more difficult to achieve. Though I'm certain that my friend will always hold a special place in my heart and ccasionally I like to roleplay under the name of one of the characters she left behind or sometimes use her first name for one of my more common day roleplay settings, just as a reminder that she is not forgotten... besides, it helps with the pain.




Offline Chevalier des Poissons

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2009, 12:43:03 PM »
He wasn't so much a friend, but an acquaintance: Reuben Kee.  He was heavily into the OC remix and MUGEN scenes, it hit both communities pretty hard.

Dude, you met Reuben Kee too? I knew him, I am from Brazilian Mugen community (MugenBR), I remember about his death.

Anyway, I have been there many and many times. I had lost many online friends. It is always shocking, and it always will be, specially when it comes of a friend that went to a RL friend.

If you need anything, just let me know.

Offline Aiden

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2009, 12:56:59 PM »
When I first started playing wow, before the current expansion and you were stuck to your own realm to pvp.

I met a character who was really cool and we eventually switched factions (to the horde) and started pvping with the intention to make it to High Warlord. We gathered a huge group and pvped from lvl 19, up the brackets. We stomped the shit out of everyone and even in the 50's we were competing, honor wise with the top pvpers for the weekly ranks. Most of us made rank 10-12 before we even hit 60.

We were on the trail to rank 13/14 when he suddenly disappeared and we found out later he had committed suicide which really hit all of us in our group rather hard. We retired in his honor for a while and just stopped, it took us a while to get back into the grove, but it really sucked because he sent all of us in-game mails before it happened which hurt the most that we could not help him/get to help him.

Offline Lystia

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2009, 06:02:33 PM »
GodDAMMIT! I've been had!

I talked to a friend of this person and found that it was not a she but a he, and that he made up that story to explain why he won't be using that account anymore! He faked his own death to weasel out of a large debt he owed! When I confronted him on this, he put me on ignore! Now what!? How do I track him down!?

Let it go.  He's not exactly an honourable individual. Probably not the best of individuals to be associated with

Offline Serephino

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2009, 08:53:39 PM »
Yeah, let it go.  It wasn't real money.  And such a jerk isn't worth it.  I'm sure it hurts that you came to care about this person only to find out you were lied to and cheated, but as long as you dwell on it he has power over you.  You might not be the first person he's done this to, or the last.  If he is that pathetic that that's the only way he can play, let him have it. 

Seriously, all anger does is raise your blood pressure.  It's a game, it isn't worth it.  Your feelings are a little more important, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and wiser.  Forgive him for yourself, then forget him.  That's my advice. 

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2009, 08:54:07 PM »
I think I have but don't know.  Someone I met online on a role play site would tease and flirt with me, play in the games with me, chatted and RP'd in IM and was writing a story for me needed surgery.  We even found out we live near each other in real life.  The day before surgery we chatted and I haven't heard from him since.  I've emailed, PMd, IM messaged and nothing.  I had grown to like him and felt close to him.  I don't want to believe he'd abandon me that way but I'd rather he did that than the alternative.  I hope I find him again someday.  He was a truly good friend.

Offline dorthyinwonder

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2009, 09:19:09 PM »
I agree with Lystia. He's not worth the time, if he did that to you.

Wolfer and I are trying to figure out where we're going to be playing soon - you're free to join us. We've not yet discovered where we'll play, but it'll be horde on a Central server somewhere. I have a few on Uther with some other friends I met online elsewhere.

But to the original topic, yes. Many years ago, I roleplayed on Excite VP with a group (the group where I met my friend I WoW with on Uther) and had become quite close to them. There was one man, in particular, I'd grown quite close to. We'd talk outside of the game, switched pictures and spoke to each other often. He was one of the nicest men I've met online and I'd been rather fond of him (for being 15, he treated me like another adult and it was nice just to talk to him - we didn't do anything inappropriate or anything). He was electrocuted. I don't quite remember if he was the type of electrician that would go outside and work on the poles outside or what, exactly, but apparently it was just a horrible accident.

I still think about him quite often...

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Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2009, 10:26:22 AM »
GodDAMMIT! I've been had!

I talked to a friend of this person and found that it was not a she but a he, and that he made up that story to explain why he won't be using that account anymore! He faked his own death to weasel out of a large debt he owed! When I confronted him on this, he put me on ignore! Now what!? How do I track him down!?

Remember that in-game memorial?  Plaster up in it what that person really was - and then let it go.

Offline Callie Del Noire

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2009, 10:48:17 AM »
One of the guys who got me started into d20 modern and Buffy died a while back. Angelboi. He died of HIV related issues.

Offline Thanatos

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2009, 01:47:15 PM »
I've lost friends online and been had by individuals as well.

Both are very different kinds of pain. I am sorry to hear you got stuck like that, but really the best thing to do is let it go. Don't let it make you bitter or jade you too much, because not everyone is like that. You can still make some very good friends online.

I've been online since 1986 and made a few very good friends and still keep in touch. Admittedly, I've made more acquaintances and lost touch with them, but they none-the-less enriched my life for a time and I don't regret knowing them.

And I've met some real stinkers before too, people who use and abuse one's trust. I am more cautious then I used to be, but I still try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've been had a few times though. It always sucks when you get played and its okay to kick yourself for awhile, but don't dwell on it. Everyone can get fooled, especially on the internet. Most people don't do it maliciously, they are just thoughtless or get carried away and back themselves into a corner on how to get out of it and save face.

It's the ones that do it for kicks and thrills that really get you. All you can do is let go and move on. Really, they are obviously miserable and troubled enough, they aren't going to care about the emotion and thought you waste on them. It's best to just laugh at them and forget them and remember for the future to not take things at face value.

Offline Serephino

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2009, 10:21:02 PM »
Ah, yes...  I remember well the first time I was 'had'.  I met this guy who acted like he was interested in me.  Although I have to say something felt a little off.  He even sent me a picture and said the woman in it was his sister.  I guess that should've been my first clue.  It did seem odd.

Then he said he was on a business trip near where I lived and wanted to meet me.  I was a little nervous, but I arranged a meeting at the local mall.  I went, and he never showed.  Then that night he messaged me asking why I stood him up.  I told him I didn't.  Then he confessed that he was just stringing me along.  He and his wife were having a good laugh at my expense.

There are some people out there who are just sick that way.  I was upset about being played, but it wasn't that big of a blow.  Like I said, something didn't feel quite right from the start, and i wasn't that emotionally invested.  The jerk was laying it on way too thick.  I enjoyed the attention sure...  But nobody is that taken with someone online that fast.  If it's too good to be true, it probably is.

Offline darkvamplips

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #17 on: December 31, 2009, 04:30:39 AM »
I would like to add to this. This was 10 years ago and I'm 23 now. I had a friend I was really close to online. My other friend even dated him. He disappeared for a few months then came back online. Told me he had been in a car accident died and was brought back to life. He had been in a coma for like 7 months and finally came out. He had been paralyzed and lots of broken things. I think it was a semi that hit him. I found out later he got pneumonia and then double pneumonia. There was nothing they could do I guess. I found out later that he had died. It hit me hard I knew him well called him a brother. To this day I still have his emails he sent me and yahoo messages. I will never forget him but it's sad that he did not have a chance to live his life or do anything that I have done. I will never get any more messages from him. He was special  to me.

Offline Drivestort

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2010, 06:41:00 AM »
I had a group of friends that I got into roleplaying with, all of them older than me by at least 10 years. Because of drama in the group, I lost contact with them. In 08, one of them got back into contact with me, and informed me that one of our friends had died of breast cancer. I wanted to be sad that she died. But really, I'm mostly just sad that I hadn't talked to her in over half a decade and never would again.

Offline LeonisTopic starter

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2010, 09:52:02 AM »
Was Reuben Kee's death really such a bad thing? I heard he was rather INfamous, rather than famous, among the MUGEN community.

Offline Chevalier des Poissons

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2010, 01:42:27 PM »
Was Reuben Kee's death really such a bad thing? I heard he was rather INfamous, rather than famous, among the MUGEN community.

Yeah, it was. Know one thing: being INfamous amont the MUGEN community does not necessarily means the truth. For example, I am part of the brazilian Mugen community (MugenBR), and for a long time we were quite infamous ourselves, in special P.O.T.S, ExInferis and Loganir, three members that are wonderful people themselves, in special POTS, that used to laugh at my jokes =3

Offline Xanthus

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #21 on: January 01, 2010, 11:28:38 PM »
Yesterday I met an online friend of mine in an online game and found out that her character was not being controlled by her but by her best friend; she had died unexpectedly in a car accident. I still can't get over this shocking news as this friend was special to me in a certain way, and she also owed me a substantial amount of in-game money that I wouldn't have loaned anyone else. When her next-of-kin gave me her belongings, all she had was pocket change and a handful of worthless items on her character, which made me wonder how she planned to pay off her debt in the first place. Nevertheless, I put all her belongings in an in-game museum as a memorial to her. I don't know how old she was, where she lived, or whether I'll see her again in the afterlife, but somehow she was special to me.

your not the only one. Ive had two online friends die on me. one of them...she hung herself. the other had a car accident. in times like these all you can do is mourn your loss, and look at the truth.
no matter what she knew she was dear friend of yours.  there was nothing you could do to have stopped that accident so don't dwell upon it. wishing you could have said this or that will do you no good it will only bring you down so don't dwell on it. but what helps is to write her a letter. it has helped me. and lastly. if you believe in heaven then she will meet you there at the pearly gates.
remember her for who she was, good and bad, for she was and is both. So cherish those memories well.

Offline Dizzi

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #22 on: January 01, 2010, 11:40:19 PM »
I, honestly, have not had anyone I knew online die.  But one time one of my online buddies ran away from home and that was TERRIFYING.  Her mom came online and was freaking out.  It was months until she came back online.

There are people in real life I've had die though.  some I knew but, oddly enough, the one that affected my life the most I never knew...  funny how things work out...

I just want to add this edit.  I do NOT mean haha funny.  I mean odd

Offline Tachi

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #23 on: January 05, 2010, 02:03:28 PM »
Never had anyone who died, but one I ended friendship with. She was controlling, backstabbing, and hacked my account to steal all my stuff...on two different sites we talked on.

Offline Mudchaser

Re: Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?
« Reply #24 on: January 08, 2010, 05:56:23 PM »
I had a close friend.  We wrote together often, shared all our secrets with one another, and she was the Best Man at my wedding.

Then she found religion and just stopped talking to all of her friends.  Just... lost interest in us.  Occasionally one of us (though never me) gets a message that her computer is broken and that's why she's not talking, or she's been busy, or whatever, and it's all going to change, and then months of silence go by followed by quieter excuses, and then nothing...

She just... faded away.

I don't know what hurts worse, having someone you care about ripped away from you by cruel fate, or having someone you care about just stop caring about you.