Two years, six months, nine days, and a little less than an hour Ė thatís how long it has taken me to get to this, my 25,000th post.
I like numbers. I like patterns, I like puzzles, I like milestones. This isnít news to anybody who has known me for any length of time Ė just look at the Off Topic thread and youíll see I was the one who started Round Numbers
. It delights me when things fit. In my offline life, Iím far from being a ďplace for everything and everything in its placeĒ kind of girl, but on the internet all we have are words and numbers, pictures and folders. Things have to be organized. Things have to fit.
If you had told me the day that I found Elliquiy, that I would still be year this much later, I would have laughed at you. If you had further told me that I would have become part of the administration, and a hugely recognizable name on the site, I would have told you that you were nuts. I know me. I know my habits. I know that, at the time, I was looking for someplace to roleplay during the downtime of the job I had at the time, that wasnít quite as transient and difficult to keep track of as IM chats or Yahoo groups.
I found that here, and I found much, much more. Just now, I went and looked at my introduction post
. So much has changed since I joined; my hard limits have stretched far from where I began, and I have a much more fluid view of my own sexuality. Iíve grown more confident as a woman, as a writer, as a gamer. Iíve been published. Iíve made some deep and long-lasting connections, some of which, in spite of the ravages of time and distance, make me care no less for those who have become dear to me than if they were here in this very room with me.
In Elliquiy, I found a place to roleplay, and so much more. I found friendships beyond my wildest imagining. I have found that I can write things that people want to read Ė even things that people will pay me for. I have found in myself the ability to craft images, scenes, and stories that touch people on instinctive and visceral levels, frightening, arousing, sometimes both at once.
I have found a place where I can discuss the ins and outs of sexuality
, of literary critique
, and whether Bruce Willis or Bruce Campbell would be more fun in bed
(give me both, and toss in Miracle Laurie for good measure!) Ė I have found a place where, when life goes sour on me and I feel lost, there are people who have never seen my face who are more than ready and willing to give me advice if I want it, or a hug if I donít. Sometimes simply popping onto the site to say hello can change the flow of my entire day.
May 1, 2007, I would have laughed and you and called you crazyÖ. But two and a half years, and 25,000 posts later, I cannot deny it. I have found a place where I fit. I wanted to use this post to go through the people that I have met, to tell each of you what you mean to me, and to thank you for how youíve contributed to my life, but I simply canít. There are so many of you, and some of you are no longer here.
25,000 posts worth of words, and the two that I feel more fully than anything else seem too small, too inadequate, and yet they are the only thing that I can say to everyone here.
Thank you, Elliquiy. Elliquiy is that singular epiphany you get when you have your first, true orgasm, and you realize that every single one that came before it was but a pale shadow of the real thing.