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Author Topic: Why US is in bad shape (funny)  (Read 795 times)

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Offline elenisilTopic starter

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Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« on: September 14, 2009, 10:48:34 PM »
My brother sent this to me and I alternately laughed and shook my head, thought I'd share.



A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' the U.S.A. is in trouble!



1.
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for anaisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport    information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.''  Without trying to make HIM look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''  His response -- click.   

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sa nders) called, furious about a Florida package that we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since  Orlando is in the middle of the state.  He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map "and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas has a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, "No, why do you ask?" He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu, LA. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''  I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."  ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.   Check your map!''  So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?'' The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''


Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Offline Vekseid

Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2009, 11:35:24 PM »
...I remember the "Fly to California and take a train to Hawai'i" from Rinkworks somewhere...

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 11:37:56 PM »
I think I've seen a bunch of these in airline-worker horror stories - but never attributed to Congressfolk, much less specific Congressfolk.

Offline elenisilTopic starter

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2009, 11:48:26 PM »
I think I've seen a bunch of these in airline-worker horror stories - but never attributed to Congressfolk, much less specific Congressfolk.

He was on a long list of email recepients, no telling where the email originated, I just passed it on as I received it. I was surprised that names were used myself.

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2009, 12:48:18 AM »
It's been covered by Snopes - listed as false, and apparently dating back before some of these particular reps were even in office.

Offline elenisilTopic starter

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2009, 12:56:57 AM »
It's been covered by Snopes - listed as false, and apparently dating back before some of these particular reps were even in office.

*laughs* It figures, though none would really surprise me if they were true.

Offline Vekseid

Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2009, 05:19:22 AM »
The "Very thin state" one was also originally a female, I believe.

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2009, 05:55:48 AM »
Should I be worried that my state's senator is on that list?

Offline Vekseid

Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2009, 06:16:07 AM »
Well, not because of the list. There are probably plenty of reasons to be concerned about the intellect of your senator, however.

Offline HairyHeretic

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2009, 06:36:44 AM »
I've seen that list before, or something fairly close to it, but it wasn't senators on it, just random tourist types.

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2009, 08:19:48 AM »
It was also noted in the Snopes article that all the senators on the list were Democrat.  Personally, I think that almost proved the urban-legend status right there.

After all, stupidity is not distributed along party lines.  ;D

Offline Trieste

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2009, 11:27:27 AM »
Kansas has a democratic senator? Hm.

Also, people really do tend to take their thinking caps off when dealing with vacation. Like, people ask me if the room that's the lowest possible price in the hotel can have an ocean view and a balcony.

No, of course it can't. You're staying in Miami for $85/night... your room will be in the basement, with strictly controlled beach access one hour a day. Come on, now.

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Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2009, 12:42:49 PM »
I would have said, "No, lady, don't take the train to Hawaii. A Greyhound bus is much faster." but I'm not nice. ;D

Offline Vekseid

Re: Why US is in bad shape (funny)
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2009, 05:09:35 PM »
Kansas has a democratic senator? Hm.

Also, people really do tend to take their thinking caps off when dealing with vacation. Like, people ask me if the room that's the lowest possible price in the hotel can have an ocean view and a balcony.

No, of course it can't. You're staying in Miami for $85/night... your room will be in the basement, with strictly controlled beach access one hour a day. Come on, now.

Dennis Moore is a House member, but yes, a democrat. Some... still haven't forgiven the Republicans for the civil war.