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Author Topic: Loving two females  (Read 1175 times)

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Offline Lord of ShadowsTopic starter

Loving two females
« on: September 13, 2009, 04:23:27 AM »
I have always been a man that believes in the virtue of being faithful with the woman (or man for that matter) you are with at the moment. This notion of actually being with more than one at the same time I always thought as... spoiled. You kept to one person and not until you were finished with that on (ok a bit "clinical" expression but it will do) you could go out and look for another.
This whole pattern of thought was totally turned upside down a month ago when I met her. Suddenly I was in love again with all what that means. Here were this woman I knew that I had been looking for all my life. The only problem was that I still love the woman I married. I can't really see me walk out on her but at the same time I can't see myself walk away from "my" new woman either. I find myself totally in love with both women and I can't really decide which one I want to live with if I was forced to pick. For the first time in my life I actually could see myself live in a polymory relationship and if such thing would be allowed in my country; polygamy. Problem is my present wife wouldn't so in the end I will be forced to choose regardless anything.

Offline Aifa Yasha Jaganshi

Re: Loving two females
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2009, 12:34:27 AM »
I  can understand the issue you  are having I had the same problem not to long ago. I made my choice,to stay with my boyfriend of 3 years, and am very happy with the choice I made.   My thoughts are that humans are not meant to be monogamous. As humans we have to many complex emotions to be able to handle such a relationship. You  know your wife best and how she acts you  would also know how she would react to the idea of being polyamorus(sp?)
you  also  have to ask yourself if you would be willing to let her do the same thing. That was the deciding factor for me when i realized i could not deal with 'sharing' him.

Offline Jude

Re: Loving two females
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 03:04:33 PM »
Pair-bonding is a fundamental trait of human sexuality actually, polygamy isn't natural and I'm not even sure if it's truly possible.  Before you disagree with me, I implore you to actually read the rest of what I'm saying so you get a feel for what I mean.  That's not to say there's anything wrong with polygamy or polyamorous people in general, but on a biological level "loving two people at once" in the same way isn't possible.

What you (the author) are experiencing with the woman you just met is a chemical response in your brain to "new love."  When relationships and sexual opportunities blossom with new partners, incredible sensations occur in your brain.  This is that burning, fiery, romantic love people always speak of, but it's fleeting, it only lasts about 9 months at the most.  What you feel for your wife is based on emotional attachment and dutiful love, which is a very different mental and chemical process in the human brain.

Unless you've had problems with your wife before, stay with her.  In time your fiery feelings for your new interest will wither away and you'll be back at square one, after an ugly divorce.

Offline Cythieus

Re: Loving two females
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2009, 07:41:15 AM »
I think that it's VERY hard to have a three person relationship, because in a two person relationship you're reciprocating love between the two individuals. In a three person relationship the distribution is uneven it would seem. Even if everyone involved is involved romantically, there's still that fear it could turn uneven and the probability that it will. I don't think that they're wrong or evil or anything, but I don't think I could engage in one. I have and probably always will be a one woman man.

When I get eyes for a woman in real life, I can't think about anyone else the same way. I'm dealing with that right now and its odd to think that I can't seriously see myself with anyone but this one person and its not even an issue for me. I'm not sure if I can say that what I experience is natural, but I doubt I could love two women at once, even in the loosest terms (such as threesomes).

Offline Enmuro

Re: Loving two females
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2009, 11:01:11 PM »
Some of these thoughts mix the cultural concept of love with the biological. When you say you love someone, do you mean you buy them roses, try to impress them with cooking, go through the other rituals? Or do you mean you get hot and bothered when they're around and feel other biological reactions typical of relationships? Probably both right?

Anyway, I guess i would say that culturally we pressured not to be in love with another woman outside marriage. Complete love can't exist and be divorced from our cultural and biological selves so I don't see much of a choice here. But I wouldn't, its just the culture Ive sort of come to be a part of. You can reject that culture or you can give in. There are probably more productive things to do with your time in any case (like flash games).