Sept 11th -Rags & Tears
I woke up around four in the morning. Why did I wake up two hours before I actually needed to get up to dress, eat and head off to class? Well, this week I am going by one of three names and only one person is allowed to call me Mrag (there is a somewhat funny story behind the unusual nickname) and no one else.
Since I am on the cycle and have yet to get a new batch of birth control pills, Aunt Flow decided to come on in and hand me my red present. Honestly, I hate menstruating. Hate it beyond racists, egotists, cheaters and a slew of others. I can handle racists and anti-sexuality protesters because I can be wickedly polite or talkative about how my sexually explicit day went and enjoy the look on their faces when I go into graphic detail. Most of the time I embellish a few things if I have a slow day but only when I expect someone to come up to me and inform me that being a female who adores male and female is morally wrong and will send me to Hell. I welcome those people because afterward I will gladly quote a few passages from the Bible and ask them how they feel about so and so. God, I need to remember the youtube video I noticed my sister watching about the West Wing President being verbally attacked by a Christian and him firing back to put the Christian in her place with Biblical Quotes. Here we go:"West Wing" - Biblical Quotes
Back to the subject of my period (if you are uncomfortable about menstruation and not about a roleplay which involves bloodletting or even mutilation, then why be squeamish about something that happens naturally to women?).
When I am on my period, my sleep cycle changes to accommodate the times I need to get up and change pads. I am thinking about switching to a diva cup but money woes has stopped the dream. This morning I woke at a quarter to four and felt the distinct urge to head to the bathroom to make sure I did not stain my bedsheets, underwear or pajama bottoms. By the by, when I am not donned in school wear, work wear or my Domina wear, you will likely find me in pajamas. After a long day of studying, training for work and tending to the care of my submissives and flogging those who are out of line, being able to relax in slippers, pajama pants and a tank top helps to wind me down. Hell if I could, I would make a line of BDSM wear where it is based around sleepwear but more comfortable and able to get around in dungeons and sessions. Maybe I will think about wearing my pajamas and base it around a fantasy roleplay while I teach my submissives a lesson.
Again back to the period (sorry males, not going to get out of hearing about the menstrual cycle).
After seeing nothing was amiss, I went back to bed.
Laying in bed did nothing to stop the list of things I needed to do for the next few days. Three papers due within a few days of each other. Needed to buy another bag of pads. Grab my social security card. Finish the Maya Banks novel I bought online. A slew of things. Instead of trying to force myself to sleep and knowing my body was decently awake, I got out of bed, padded out into the living room and powered my laptop on.
Of course I had to bring out the rest of the things I needed when I do wake up at 6 in the morning. I dress in the living room when I have morning classes. I kid you not. The hardwood floors creak and give way and I am at least courteous enough not to wake up my roommate who I share a room with; however, sometimes if the rest of the roommates irritate or do not head my warnings to stop the over the top laughing at one in the morning, I will occasionally walk around in my shoes which click-click-click on the hardwood floors. Childish but it gets the point across.
I ended up on Elliquiy at four in the morning and signed into the SB (shoutbox) and surprised a few people for being online at this hour. Most of the members I am friends with or acquaintances with live on the East Coast and are three hours ahead of me. Now to see me at 4 in the morning is 7 in the morning to them. Strange and even a few wondered what the bloody hell I was on E at this hour for but not the first time to surprise people. Other than fluttering about E while I worked on my Coloring Queer paper (one of these days I will post a bit of the blurbs I write since most of the classes are the human sexuality courses I talked about on the G&C).
Somehow I managed to get the bulk of the paper done in the two hours before I finally took my leave to dress, make breakfast, pack a lunch and head off to class. Class was interesting because there is a Golden Ratio which can be used to see if mathematically someone is beautiful. The Golden Ratio is used to see if your face is symmetrical and holds the key to whether or not one is able to procreate based on facial structure. Those with symmetrical faces have a higher chances of finding relationships and mates than one with an asymmetrical features. It was a lecture I wanted to keep awake because it is one I can debate on later on here if I have to write a paper.
Next class, I actually brought out my Maya Banks book to read because the lecture was on the Endocrine system and reproduction. I already spent three hours going over the system and I know I can study it this weekend. I think my concentration laid in wanting to get out of class so I could head back to the house, pack up and get out to see family. Seems I am making it a daily ritual and I am enjoying heading out of San Francisco to visit family in the Valley for the weekend. Yes it takes about two hours to head to the family's house but it is worth it when I see my clan and we get together to talk about our week.
Usually I spent a good hour updating my Maja on the chit-chat of what is going on with the house situation and school. Over the years her and I have gotten along better in establishing a better mother/daughter relationships. Of course, she knows nothing about my lifestyle or my status as a part-time Dominatrix. I separate my lifestyle with that of the vanilla lifestyle my family members hold. To me, if they want to be curious, I let them come of their own free will to interact in my own activities. My cousin knows of my sexuality and does not judge me for it since she has had her own experiences. She was the same one I comforted when she miscarried her first child and who came with me to Gay Pride weekend this year.
However, I went to pick up my friend who is supposedly moving to Mississippi thus making it hard to have mother/daughter chit chat. I love my friend to death and she knows how I feel. We have talked and this weekend I had a hidden agenda to change her mind. Does it make me a bad person? No, because I have a distinct feeling the move is not going to change things but only is running away. She knows this and has acknowledged my thoughts. We have been friends for a really long time. The rest of the day was spent reminding her that while Mother/Daughter relationships are not perfect, her mother is willing to work things out. My Maja and I can get into arguments, we got into one today but give us time to cool off and we can forgive one another. Hell, we laughed and even had ice cream, forgetting about the problem.
By the end of the night, there were tears in various directions and I needed aspirin for the headache I was receiving from the long discussion. I wake up to write a paper early and head to bed knowing I at least helped a friend out. It is still hard but even when I am out of the San Francisco area, there is always something for this female to get into.Miss Marguerite & The City.