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Author Topic: Ninjas v. Pirates  (Read 3052 times)

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Offline OniyaTopic starter

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Ninjas v. Pirates
« on: August 08, 2009, 08:42:07 PM »
Slight silliness here.  My husband is working with an amateur 'pirate theater' group (they get hired for events, but it's more hobby than 'work'), and they've been asked to do a 'pirates versus ninja' act for a wedding.  The problem is, while they have plenty of lines for why pirates are better than ninjas, they need some lines for why ninjas are better than pirates.

So I ask the fine people of E - why are ninjas better than pirates?

Offline Andy

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2009, 09:36:32 PM »

Offline Andy

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2009, 09:38:22 PM »
Because they have more equipment that is more awesome.

Offline SleepyWei

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2009, 10:02:39 PM »
So... you're saying that a ninja with a shuriken or blowgun can beat a pirate who has a pistol or rifle?

I honestly think pirates are better overall compared to ninjas but well... I suppose I have to give ninjas their ingenuity in turning simple farming tools to very affective disarming and killing weapons.

And I suppose they look better than the stereotypical mangy pirates.  ???

Edit: And for the record, real ninjas don't have those handseal = superpower attacks like that kid show Naruto.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2009, 10:06:26 PM by SleepyWei »

Offline Andy

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2009, 10:04:48 PM »
well.. okay i can agree on that, but, Ninjas are stealthy pinpoit attacks and disarming their opponents, against a pirate, they are deadly if they get to strike first.

Offline SleepyWei

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2009, 10:09:00 PM »
Which takes skills, which also means that the ninja would need a good amount of training.

The pirate's gear focuses on weapons that go BOOM! Their guns and other armaments basically are perfect for attack a lot of things at once so in a sense, a pirate's first attack can also be the finishing one, like your ninja.

The difference is that a pirate does not need a lot of training for that stuff. Just pull the trigger and there goes the round.

Online Vekseid

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2009, 10:09:08 PM »
Explaining ninjas really isn't complete without: http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

The black outfits almost certainly come from Kuroko however.

Offline Chevalier des Poissons

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2009, 10:23:02 PM »
This video explains it ALL

Lazytown - You are a Pirate

Offline Tachi

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #8 on: August 09, 2009, 12:34:54 AM »
From a button I have: "Lets see a nancy ninja wield a sword while drinking grog, aye?"

Offline pimpdan

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2009, 06:52:07 PM »
Pirate guns weren't really accurate as well, plus stealth kill means pirate has no chance. Also a ninja won't rob you blind and drink all your rum so are nicer to have around.

Offline Vandren

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2009, 09:04:25 PM »
One I caught earlier:

"Ninja are where it's at, buddy. Oh sure, pirates sound great. High seas. Shoulder-mounted pets. Punctuating everything wtih "arrr." Yeah, y'know what else they have? Scurvy."

- courtesy of SJGames Daily Illuminator

Offline Epicurus


Offline BluDragonX

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2009, 12:46:28 AM »
Ninjas win because all they have to do is steal the fruit for a ship and it would killl the hole crew of pirates from scurvy. there for Ninjas win I alose have a pic but since I am new I cant post it on  why ninjas would win.

Offline Sabby

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2009, 12:51:14 AM »
For me, the whole 'who would win in a fight approach' is just stupid xD OBVIOUSLY, the better fighter would win. You can say Superman is better because he would crush Batman with his finger, but that doesn't mean he's cooler.

So for me, its a question of awesomeness, and Pirates win hands down, even though wouldn't stand a chance in a bar brawl with a Ninja

Offline BluDragonX

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2009, 01:01:10 AM »
For me, the whole 'who would win in a fight approach' is just stupid xD OBVIOUSLY, the better fighter would win. You can say Superman is better because he would crush Batman with his finger, but that doesn't mean he's cooler.

So for me, its a question of awesomeness, and Pirates win hands down, even though wouldn't stand a chance in a bar brawl with a Ninja

Ok while I totley dis agger on the part of who is cooler I will give you props for thinking it out and wording it that way that was is the smartest thing I have ever heard for this debate.

Offline Sabby

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2009, 01:16:37 AM »
Its just common sense. All 'who is better' debates have no correct answer. Its a question of preference. If the quest, however, was "If you put a Ninja and Pirate in the Octagon, who would walk out alive?" Then Ninja is more then likely guna be the answer :)

Offline The Overlord

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #16 on: August 20, 2009, 06:21:35 AM »
Which takes skills, which also means that the ninja would need a good amount of training.


Is assuming there are lots of untrained ninja running around out there, which seems to be an oxymoron. That's why they are ninja.

Offline OniyaTopic starter

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #17 on: August 20, 2009, 07:08:47 AM »
So for me, its a question of awesomeness, and Pirates win hands down, even though wouldn't stand a chance in a bar brawl with a Ninja

It is, in fact, intended to be a question of awesome, and pirates do, in fact, rule.  That's why we were having trouble coming up with a whole lot for the ninjas to say other than 'Pirates got bought out by Disney!' - to which the pirates reply 'Two words:  Michael Dudikoff!'   ::)

Offline Avis habilis

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #18 on: August 20, 2009, 08:05:55 AM »
You'll note that ninja still have all their original parts. Ever seen a hook-handed, peg-legged, one-eyed ninja? You have not.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #19 on: August 20, 2009, 03:36:45 PM »
Ninja's have stealth, formal sword training (yes despite all the movies pirates chose guns four out of five because they didn't have to get in close).

Let's see. Better hand to hand skills, better mobility. Sai, kama, kunai. They both fight pretty dirty. There weapons don't have to be reloaded, or reload considerably faster.

Offline Avis habilis

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #20 on: August 20, 2009, 03:39:49 PM »
Ninja get cooler kit: blowguns, poison, tetsubishi, shuriken, you name it.

They've also got that hypnotic finger-weaving thing going. Try that with a hook for a hand, matey!

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #21 on: August 20, 2009, 06:41:52 PM »
Ninja get cooler kit: blowguns, poison, tetsubishi, shuriken, you name it.

They've also got that hypnotic finger-weaving thing going. Try that with a hook for a hand, matey!
Ninjas have two eyes pirates mostly have one?
Depth perception is key.

Offline Avis habilis

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #22 on: August 21, 2009, 11:14:03 AM »
Ninjas have two eyes pirates mostly have one?
Depth perception is key.

I reckon that's why they have to stick to firearms instead of throwing stuff. Can't aim worth a damn without stereoptic vision.

Online TheVillain

Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #23 on: August 22, 2009, 04:41:09 PM »
Pirates, definitely. Ninjas only seemed badass because they went against Samurai by mastering the one thing a Samurai was never supposed to do. Namely, cheating.

But a Pirate can also cheat very well, so you have a one trick pony against someone much more versatile. The ninja's showing would be respectable, but I gotta give this to the pirate.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Ninjas v. Pirates
« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2009, 05:06:18 PM »
Pirates, definitely. Ninjas only seemed badass because they went against Samurai by mastering the one thing a Samurai was never supposed to do. Namely, cheating.

But a Pirate can also cheat very well, so you have a one trick pony against someone much more versatile. The ninja's showing would be respectable, but I gotta give this to the pirate.
Lets look at the roster here:

Ninjas:

Black eggs (powdered glass filled eggs)
Ninjuto (Short sword)
Shuriken (no matter how they're thrown they hit with the blade)
blow gun with puffer fish poison
Kama and chain
sai

Pirates:

Musket
Cutlass
Blunderbuss (Shotgun of the time)
clay pot grenades

All of witch are muzzle-loaded one shots. Most of a pirates power was in his ship. Heck they might not even be able to swim. :)

The pirates have the range, but the ninja has the close in.

Ninja were not a one-trick pony, samurai could blur lines when they wanted to. Personally I think a Spartan warrior would kick both of them up and down the street.