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Author Topic: I hate failure.  (Read 1897 times)

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Offline CaeliTopic starter

I hate failure.
« on: July 31, 2009, 09:51:02 PM »
My name is Caeli, and I am a perfectionist.

I always want things to go perfectly, exactly how I imagine it in my head. The speech will be magnificent; the meeting will be smooth sailing. No surprises on the exam (and if there are any, I'll miraculously be ready for it!), and no nasty problems at work.

Is it wrong to be ambitious, to have high expectations for others, and higher standards for myself? I don't think so. To me, mediocrity is a level I can surpass - aiming high gives me challenge, and aiming high challenges me. To learn new things, or to become better than I am right now. That satisfaction when I succeed? It's absolutely addicting.

I hate failure. It's easy to forgive it in others, but so much harder with myself, because my confidence would have me believe that I can do anything, so long as I have the will and the ability. But I am not infallible, nor do I pretend to be. If life is all about failing, then where does that leave me? I recognize that failure is a necessary ingredient to progress and improvement, but... I still hate it.

But life is all about failing - failing, and picking myself up, learning from my mistakes, and moving forward. I suck up my pride and tell myself that next time? I'll do better. I'll be damned if the same mistake trips me up twice, after all.

I hate failure, but it makes me treasure and appreciate second chances than I think I might otherwise. Your trust in me is not misplaced - this is what I want to say. And I don't like admitting that I failed, and need a second chance. (I'm actually not all that good with words in situations like these.) That's why I'll work my ass off to show this statement, and prove it with my actions. Look at my results, and know that you were not wrong to believe in me.

To everyone who has believed in me and given me a second chance - thank you. Your trust in me is not misplaced, and I'll prove it to you.

Offline Limoncello

Re: I hate failure.
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2009, 01:01:14 AM »
That was very interesting to read and gave me a lot of inspiration. Your words reminded me of how life is in general and what life can give you. I wish you luck on your current ambitions.

Offline Lirliel

Re: I hate failure.
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2009, 12:07:57 PM »
Caeli.. why do we share the same drive for perfection? *Smiles*

You just said what I feel like every day when I'm working.

Offline Enigma

Re: I hate failure.
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2009, 09:12:11 AM »
Most people don't care.  That's what I have learned, so happy with the mundane and on filling up on what's obvious. I give myself a really hard time over my mistakes (not spelling ones LoL)  the truth is that punishment is the lack of reward, the less of satisfaction. I don't believe your wrong at all with your high expectations.  I must to admit to fail is to advance.. It is a perfect world I desire.. and I don't mind saying so because I try really hard to make that world a reality for me an those around me.  I did follow the belief that if I ruled out failure as an option then I wouldn't fail.. I guess that was unrealistic, but I strive for excellence .. when I do achieve it I am still a little unsatisfied, OHHH the constant climb.  I wish you luck and fortune. I enjoyed this post of yours... it was .. perfect * smiles* O8)

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Re: I hate failure.
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2009, 05:04:09 AM »
You can only try for perfection and hope to get close to it.  Being perfect means you don't have to try because you already are.  The fact that you're trying not to fail means you haven't failed, yet.  Failure is giving up, accepting what is instead of looking ahead to see what might be.  Each time perfection isn't achieved and you tell yourself "It's the best I can do" or "This is good enough" add two more words:  "for now".  You'll never be a failure as long as you give yourself the promise of a "next time."

Offline shadowspale

Re: I hate failure.
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2009, 09:10:36 AM »
I don't think you are wrong; maybe a bit too hard on yourself but not wrong. Perfection is a goal most people reach for in some way or another. We all stumble and fall, pick ourselves back up and try again. Perfection is a goal I long for but hope I never reach for once I have it, what else is there to try for or dream about?