Who knew such serious thoughts could come out of the Harry Potter premiere?

Started by quitefancy, July 16, 2009, 02:59:13 AM

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It seems ridiculous, as these ideas run through my head, to blog them here, on a roleplaying forum. After all, what I'm about to lay out on the table here has nothing to do with roleplaying, really. There might be some underlying connections, but that's not something I'm going to write about today.

I have always had huge issues with self confidence. I'm quite sarcastic and cynical, but I think it's sort of there as a deterrent to people- don't get close to me because I'll probably say something rudely sarcastic to you. But it's really, don't get close to me because I'm too self conscious to handle it.

Talking to my friend at the sixth Harry Potter movie premiere, I realized that when it comes to romance, when it comes to dating and flirting and all of these things that most people do, I have one major flaw. There are probably many others, but this is the biggest.

I make the assumption that no one finds me attractive. I ruin my own chances with people because no matter how much chemistry we might have or how into them I might be, I simply assume that they aren't attracted to me romantically, and it all ends there.

Thinking about this logically, it makes no sense. I know that on some good days, I think that I'm pretty. I also know that people, on occasion, agree. I know that people compliment my hair a lot, tell me I'm cute, that sort of thing.

So where does this assumption come from? It terrified me to realize that I think so badly about myself. How low must my self confidence be, without me even really knowing it, for me to make the assumption that no one ever finds me attractive? This realization was honestly pretty shocking to me. I've always known I have low self esteem.

I just never realized that I apparently have no self esteem.
find ecstasy in life;
the mere sense of living is joy enough.


Believe me, you're not alone in this.  All our lives, we are bombarded by pictures of 'what is attractive', be it the man with the six-pack abs or the woman with the 'perfect' (i.e. silicone-enhanced) hourglass figure.  In your average drug store, there are aisles of 'things to make you look better (different).'  Hair dye, skin cream, makeup, styling gels and sprays, insta-tans...  There are colored contacts for those who don't like their eyes, and regular contacts for those who don't like the look of glasses.

With all of that, it's not surprising that - at some point - almost everyone has felt unattractive.

Here's what you should try.  Next time someone gives you a compliment, just say 'Thank you.'  Nothing else - just two little words.  It may not be easy at first to stop at that and not go on with a 'but...'  It wasn't for me.  If someone compliments something you've drawn or written or made, same thing.  Don't tell them what you think is wrong with it or with you, just say 'Thank you'.  Eventually, it will become automatic, and that's when you've started believing it yourself.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
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You know, I never actually noticed that I do that too. I can't accept a compliment for the life of me. I'm slowly getting better, especially lately with my photography, but it's very difficult for me to accept that someone actually, truly thinks that something about me is good.

That's pretty terrifying for me to realize. That I really don't think that anyone would ever think anything good about me.
find ecstasy in life;
the mere sense of living is joy enough.