1. excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior.
2. a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression.
Seems pretty basic, doesn't it? Be polite and generally amiable to those around you. Alright. Good, we agree on the definition.
However, what one calls courtesy, another might think is 'above and beyond' being polite. Here is where the shifting line comes in. Helping someone pick up their papers, even if you did not cause the dropping of said papers, can be called being courteous, specifically stemming from the 'considerate act' definition. But running for the papers that have flown away and are still on the move- some would call that courtesy, and some would think that too much to do for a stranger.
Circumstance changes your inclination to be courteous. And in that sort of circumstance, where the pages are flying away and you're not likely to catch them, it may be considered less (socially, morally, psychologically, ect, take your pick) wrong to walk past without helping. It is more of a “Well damn that sucks, buddy” moment.
But what does courtesy have to do with the interwebs? Or Elliquiy? Well... a lot.
Basic netiquette includes things like remembering not to hotlink, or not to spam message boards. Generally people are a bit more lax on the first count, but it is still part of being courteous.
What about Elliquiy? Well, some things are protected by our staff already. Rude, bullying behavior can be reported. Badgering for private information can be reported. However a few areas of courtesy are found to be.. well, disturbingly lacking- on all Roleplay sites I frequent or have frequented in the past, not specific to Elliquiy, and not just towards myself. The area where courtesy is still sometimes obeyed and sometimes tossed out like last weeks milkshake left sitting in the sun, is in dropping games.
Dropping games. Most people have had to do it, for one reason or another. There are three 'main' ways of dropping a game that I have seen. The first is the most polite way. In a timely fashion after getting a post, the dropper will send a PM to his or her partner and say that the game is simply not working for them. This can be stated any number of ways, but most of them end up being respectful and genial. Good. I'd still roleplay with this person, should they acquire interest in another game with me.
A second way is still rather polite, though not as much so. Sometimes it is necessary if a person has very little time online, and that is understandable. This is a blanket post in the members A/A. Normally this applies if for some reason the member can not continue a majority of their games. It is still polite, even if less personalized. Of course only if the person is dropping in bulk. To look at one of my partners A/A threads and see “Sorry about the lack of online time recently, by the way MusicNeverDies, I'm dropping our game.” would be a little less than pleasing. But I've never seen that
done, thank goodness.
Then there is the ever beloved and sadly popular “If I don't respond to the Roleplay, they'll forget about it and I won't have to explain why I don't want to play with them.” route. This is, I think, the most blatantly disrespectful thing one member can do to another. Almost. It is the catalyst for the most rude thing. In and of itself, of course, it is rude. It is disrespecting to the partner.
That horrible, rudest thing to ever happen to myself on Elliquiy is this. A partner (Not just one. A few.) will stop posting. A PM will be sent by myself asking why I have stopped getting replies. It is generally as follows (Copied from my sent messages)
This is simply a PM to enquire about the status of our Roleplay. If you've dropped it, no hard feelings, I'd just like to be informed of such.
And that should clear everything up. Of course, sometimes the person will not respond to that either, and will continue posting in all their other games, ignoring yours along with your PM. At this point, I will maybe send a second PM, once it has been over a week.
I once watched a member who I had just sent a second PM to go to her inbox a minute after, then go to her other games and start posting. Needless to say, I never got a reply from this person. And I have this person, and people who have done the same, on a mental list of people whom I will never RP with again, nor ever suggest for anyone else's games.
Is it so hard to send a message saying “I'm sorry, but I've lost interest in our game.” that some would rather ignore and utterly disrespect their fellow members? It's childish and it's infinitely discourteous.
So to anyone who has done that, recall next time you want a drop a game, that sending one brief PM can end things on a amiable tone, or ignoring the problem can swell to a degree that you have actually got members on this site who refuse to RP with you or mention your name to anyone looking for a RP. Why would I put my friends through the same sort of insult, should you lose interest in that
game as well?
It is not a thing that is, to my knowledge, punishable by staff, but perhaps it should be. Someone who routinely insults or disrespects other members will get a castration after some time. But since this sort of rudeness and disrespect occurs behind closed doors, little (if anything) is ever done about it. Personally, I'd like to see a change to that. Elliquiy is a site that is supposed to be full of adults, and the silent treatment really doesn't show this off.
Hm. I see to have strayed from my first mentioned point. Ahwell.