News:

"Wings and a Prayer [L-E]"
Congratulations OfferedToEros & Random for completing your RP!

Main Menu

1001 Things not to say to your Boss

Started by stormkitten, June 08, 2009, 06:02:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MrDiamondBackJack

"You know, I am really sorry that your teenage daughter is dealing with those eating issues and that it is stressing you out, but stop telling me all about it!  I don't care and I just want to get my damned work done!"

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

TheLegionary


MrDiamondBackJack

I was thinking that if you could just park your car in the center of your spot, the rest of us might have enough spots to park, without having to park in the customer lot

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

Edhel Tari

Was that you I saw last night with the girl in accounting going into the motel on 56 highway?
"For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, That then I scorn to change my state with kings"
(Shakespeare)

Beguile's Mistress

Him: "I'm not coming in tomorrow because I don't want to."
Me:  "Oh, good.  You can stay home the day after tomorrow, too."
Him:  "Um..."
Me:  "Yes?"
Him:  "Can I rephrase that?"
Me:  "Be my guest."

Edhel Tari

Let me guess, you're jumping on me cause your wife wouldn't give you any last night.
"For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, That then I scorn to change my state with kings"
(Shakespeare)

MrDiamondBackJack

You know, I am straight, but that doesn't mean that I don't find myself staring at you across the office, and wondering what if.

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

Autumn52

You want me to do what? You must be kidding? I can't believe you would ask me to do such a thing. I don't answer phone's it says so on my resume. I can't help it if you were to busy staring at my boobs to see that.

*storms off in a huff for a coffee break*
May light guide you through your turmoil and may darkness never cross your path.

White Light be upon you if that is your wish

Insanityenviesme

Moments of Sanity
                   
Fishin' For Insanity                 Drive me Crazy                    My Asylum                 Mad about somethin                 Don't click!


Confusion is befuddled by me         Fear is terrified of me         Love adores me         And Insanity Envies Me.

MrDiamondBackJack

(at 8 AM on a Tuesday)  "How drunk am I?"

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

Insanityenviesme

-after bringging male strippers to his bachelor party-
Oh God, you're straight?!
Moments of Sanity
                   
Fishin' For Insanity                 Drive me Crazy                    My Asylum                 Mad about somethin                 Don't click!


Confusion is befuddled by me         Fear is terrified of me         Love adores me         And Insanity Envies Me.

MrDiamondBackJack

Your wife called for you and is on line three.  I told her about your ten o'clock being canceled.  She was so glad, because she says that she wants to talk to you about her plans for redecorating the house.

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

Sashira

Go the Bartleby route. But kick it up a notch.

Anything he may say to you, reply with, "I prefer not to." Even if it was not a request, i.e., "How are you?"

Sashira

Can I invite my husband's girlfriend to the company picnic too?

or

(when introduced to their child while trying to work at your desk)
Why on Earth are you showing me a small human?

MrDiamondBackJack

(During a staff meeting)  You know, I have really been struggling to keep my herpies under control.  How do you handle your's boss?

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

Spice

How long do I have to work here, before I can file a claim for worker's compensation?

Insanityenviesme

-while wife and boss are enjoying a romantic dinner-
Boss, Krista on line 1
Moments of Sanity
                   
Fishin' For Insanity                 Drive me Crazy                    My Asylum                 Mad about somethin                 Don't click!


Confusion is befuddled by me         Fear is terrified of me         Love adores me         And Insanity Envies Me.

MrDiamondBackJack

Did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Louis Anderson?

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

TheLegionary

We cannot make it. We do not have structure for that.

Spice


AngelsDemonsCode

[In a meeting with important business men]

Here's your coffee...SIR, XYZ!

[When introduced to their child and they say 'my wife's child']

Which wife?


villagelunatic

"That cougar was totally begging to climb down my pants." Pause. "Can I take lunch?"
I speak one language. One Zero One Zero Zero. With that I could steal your money, your secrets, your sexual fantasies, your whole life. In any country, any time, any place I want. We multitask like you breathe. I couldn't think as slow as you if I tried. - Taz 'Rat' Finch

MasterMischief

How about you get naked and we talk about my raise.

Sashira

You know, I really expected that being a secretary would involve more spanking. I have a movie you might want to watch for reference.

Spice

Please don't panic, there must be some way to fix this.