As I wrote in
the first part of this blog,
Love is my only reason to keep living.
That may sound really melodramatic, but in my opinion, just as every other blog I have written here, it's the truth.
When I'm in the depths of my depressions, I think about possible scenarios to end it all. Suicide, but I'm only thinking about it. And the weird thing is, I don't have anything to be depressed about, I don't have anything to have suicidal thoughts about.
I have a family that I love and that loves me, I have good friends and I'm even in love. And even those things don't stop me from sliding down that slope of a depression. Now that I am not depressed, I still have those thoughts, in that calm rational way. And apparently such thoughts are no cause for worry, not even when you have them several times a day. And I'm not worried, because I can not act on them. It would cause too much much grief on the people that know me. But in all truth, I personally, wouldn't be too too upset when I did not wake up from my sleep. Even with all those people who love me and who I love. They can grieve and get on with their lives without me.
Now before people get all worried. I'm not going to act upon those thoughts. I can't.
This is by far the longest blog that I'll write, as much as I can while I am at it. And it's not finished at all. I'm still waiting for people to give me new subjects for my next blog that won't be as depressing as this one.
After all I love writing, it's my way of being able to express what I'm truly feeling, much more than what I can tell people face to face.
No parting words for this one.
Dingo
