a terrible, no good way to die in peace [MxA]

[Skeleton Cannibal]

This is me. If you feel a vibe then shoot me a message and we'll make some magic happen.

Whenever I write one of these every 2-3 years or so, I always struggle to look clever/funny/interesting without crossing the line into arrogant/goofy/up my own ass. I suspect that I'm already sprinting into that latter territory by even mentioning it. But now that I've strategically called attention to that in a self-depreciating way, I can continue to pretend to be cool. Damn I'm cool.

The first thing I want from a partner is l, wait, hold on. Did you know that I just tried to shoehorn the word 'facsimile' into that last paragraph? I even forgot how to spell it (switched the s and c) and my phone didn't pick up the error so I had to Google it and then rework the sentence to make it fit. But I chose not to. And that's something we can both be proud of.

I think the most important thing in a roleplay to me is realizing that I only wrote that last sentence to subtly hint to you that I casually knew the word fascimile. Facsimile? Fuck, I have to Google it again. Facsimile. I know that word so well that I use it in casual speech. Shit; I'm rapidly descending into arrogant/goofy/up my own ass again. Who are we kidding with this running gag? I will stop this time. I promise.

First things first: I'm pretty easy. Discord, email, forum PMs, or smoke signals are all acceptable forms of communication. I like all sorts of genres. I am attracted to girls, boys that look like girls, girls that present at boys, and even girls who have transitioned into boys but still look quite feminine (that last one is a stretch, but I kept it in for clarity's sake). All that to say that I am not really into masculine-presenting male characters. As far as who you are IRL, all I care about is our shared vibe and how good you are at writing your chosen character(s). I've never played multiple characters, but I'm sure I could manage it if that's a thing you're into. Parallel OOC conversations are great, but not required.

Secondly, I break promises a lot. Did the faux pretend dialogue thing about the word facsimile work? Like, looking back I don't know if it was funny. Maybe I should delete it. NOTE TO DELETE LATER: REWORK THE OPENING JOKES.

As far as my actual writing, I generally take a story/character first approach as the act of writing a collaborative story is what I enjoy most. Is it more fun and exciting if that story leads to a long, detailed sex scene or three? Of course. Does it HAVE to? Not... Necessarily. But I'd like that information ahead of time, when we do our planning. I write multiple paragraphs (average of 3-4) but occasionally there just isn't much to say and I stop at one. As for as my expectations for you... Quantity isn't quality, but they do tend to go hand in hand.

After our initial courtship/witty exchange of banter/meet-cute, I like to start with planning. Even if you have a detailed write-up that I immediately fall in love with, I enjoy brainstorming and workshopping too much to leave it there with no notes. But normally I don't really have any Ideas to start off and I certainly don't expect you to have any. I find it best to throw out things we've both been ruminating on to see anything clicks with the other person. By things, I mean anything: genre, setting, character archetypes, tone, fetishes, broad philosophical concepts, specific pictures/songs, etc. Then once both of us are on the same wavelength about something, we can start to figure out the basic idea of the story.
At this point, I am often comfortable starting. Improvising is fun and so are surprises. But I also enjoy getting into character/setting/plot details. I'll go as deep as you like, baybee. NOTE TO DELETE LATER: THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD JOKE.

Potential Disappointment Warning: I have a full plate and roleplaying takes a backseat to basically everything else in my life. As excited and, let's say, post-happy as I may be initially, posts may hit an average of 1-3 times a week. It's important that I am explicitly clear with this not only for your benefit, but because when I consider any of this to be a chore or task that I must complete, I will become supremely uninterested in continuing. Giving you this very low expectation lets me feel happier about the time I spend thinking and writing about whatever thing we're doing.

BUT! But I will tell you with absolute certainty that you will likely be my only partner and all of my mental energies will go to our thing (and the tabletop game I've been running for more than a decade now). I'm not sure that makes it better, but it was the only silver lining I could come up with.

~ A mercifully brief plot list ~

Story stuff I'm into at the moment:

• Shameful relationships
• Sci-Fi horror
• Noir
• Low fantasy (no or very subtle magic/elves/dragons/etc)
• Cyber augmentation
• Militarized cults
• Surrealism
• House of Leaves
• Employer/Employee
• Tank And The Bangas - No ID (It's a song)
• Playing hard to get
• AI conceptualization technology
• Hunted

Things I raise an eyebrow at but could be convinced to touch under the right circumstances:

• Angels, Demons, Wurrwolves, Vampires, etc. If you want to do supernatural, then lets design a version if it that's unique and fun.
• Canon characters. I'd rather make something new with you! Established settings are fine.
• Very simple stories. We can always do better, even if it never comes up in the story and we just get to be smug about how nuanced everything is behind the curtains.

~ And onto the fun stuff ~

Sex stuff I'm specifically into:

• Standard sex stuff (Oral, teasing, light choking, etc. If it shows up in mainstream pornography or erotica, then I'm probably into it.)
• Size differences (also applies to little people)
• Extreme size differences (for this we can ignore physics)
• Age differences
• Gender play (your character specifically)
• Dubious/no consent
• Incest
• Furries/monsters/Anthros/beasts
• Power struggles/switching
• Exhibition/voyeurism
• Cuckolding another
• Instructions
• Pet play with a third party (shared NPC or secondary character)
• Partial immobilization
• Multiple partners (shared NPC or secondary character(s))

Maybe? Sure, let's do it:
Literally everything else not above or below. Everything. Example: bondage and footplay. I'm not turned off by bondage or footplay, but they aren't things I normally gravitate towards. If you are big into tying your characters into a pretzel before someone comes along to... Fuck a pretzel, I guess, then that's cool. The analogy fell apart but basically if you want it and I don't care then I will get excited with you about it and make it one of our focuses. I almost wrote foci there. Good thing I didn't, it I would have come across so annoying.

Not really into it, sorry:

• Anal (recieving)
• Standard array of icky stuff (Snuff/scat/watersports/Gore/Necro/etc.)
• Inflation
• Excessive cum/cumplay
• Excessive pain/cutting/blood

That's it. You made it to the bottom. Now fuck off.

Jeez, that was harsh. I'm sorry I said that. I think I was going for 'disaffected' but it just reads as shitty. I just wish my backspace key worked.

[Cream]

Stealing your fourth paragraph in "first things first".