I need to figure out how to make time and enjoy RP again.

Started by Galactic Druid, June 13, 2022, 01:06:56 PM

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Galactic Druid

I didn't really know where else to put this, my A/As didn't seem quite right. I miss writing, I miss roleplaying and writing with people, and especially miss pre-rp plotting and making idea threads. The problem's been my work has been stressing me out so much lately. It's gotten so busy and I've been given so many responsibilities. Most nights I come home, think about writing, look at E for a little bit, then decide I'm too tired to be creative and end up just resting, playing a game, or worst of all, do nothing or browse media. I feel like I'm wasting what little time I have acting like a hermit and telling myself I'm too tired to do the things I love.

I don't like doing it and I don't like feeling this way about it. I need to make some changes, but I don't know where to start. At this point, it's been so long I'm nervous about not being a great writer anymore or disappointing a potential or active partner. It's keeping me from posting, which I suppose just kind of makes it a self fulfilling prophecy.

Anyway, I guess why I'm putting this here is because I want to break this loop. I want to start doing something again. I'm just trying to figure out where to start. Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you beat it?

Blythe

Vibes, man. What you're describing was me for literal weeks and weeks. It sucked, because I missed writing and missed talking to people, but...I just couldn't manage it.

What helped for me was letting go of the expectation to write. It sounds counter-intuitive, but part of what makes it hard to jump back in is feeling this big sense of expectation about your own writing and about what you hope to find, and sometimes letting go of that helps. I puttered around socializing a bit, let myself ease back into short bursts of daily activity here even when it was something as simple as posting in a game thread in Adult Socializing, and as I gradually made small amounts of time, I was able to incrementally increase it without disrupting my work-life balance overly much.

One thing that can also help is knowing your limits. If you want to write, say "I know I'm busy right now. I literally cannot manage more than two stories at the absolute most." Then don't go over that, no matter HOW much you get tempted. Don't remotely consider increasing your writing until you know you have the time--it will set you up for failure if you push before you're ready. (I found fixating on about five slow moving solo games was about right for me for a while, but what worked for me might not work for you. You might just want one reasonably paced solo, or maybe you want to be a group game player with a little bit of activity each day or two).

As for your writing quality...hm. So here's the thing: I used to worry about that sort of thing, too. So much. But it's not about some objective "good" standard you need to meet. You're here for fun...so the standard you want to meet is "Did I have fun writing that?" If you did and your RP partner(s) seem happy, then that's really all you need. I found when I let go of trying to force some arbitrary standard of quality, my posting became a bit more frequent and some folks felt it was better quality--probably because I wasn't stressing over what I wrote, I was just excited and having fun.

Sometimes when I was feeling on the low side of things I'd hang out in Finders and Seekers, too. When I didn't have energy to write, I realized I still had energy to appreciate good art and the little plot bunnies that others liked. It kept me engaged and kept me from losing touch with being creative, even if it was just being able to spectate others being creative.

Stuff like the Word of the Day is also helpful if you just wanna practice some writing without judgment--it can let you build a writing presence back without having the full commitment level of a roleplay. That's something I probably would have done more in hindsight, because it's really good for being able to just drive-by write with no expectations, commitment, or feeling of having to live up to some sort of standard beyond "oh hey, fulfill the prompt!"

Dunno if any of that helps, but some of that is what I did and some is what I wished I did during my low tides here. :)

Flower

Hey! I have experienced the same a few times. In those situations, I try not to be as harsh on myself because those vibes often make me less inclined to write anything. After that, I usually try baby steps. I reach out to a partner that I have familiarity with to see if they want to write a no-strings, often fun-focused story. This is me trying to grease the gears! Writing with someone I have a history with often means less overthinking on my part too. After that, I try and establish a routine, where I tell myself that I have to write at least one thing. That one thing doesn't need to be great but it needs to be completed. This is easier for me to do when I have less stressful plots. I also find that surrounding yourself with other people that are writing helps increase your motivation to produce. Hearing about other people's passion projects and so forth sometimes causes your own to catch fire and blaze brightly. ^^

mystery7

I know how you feel.  I remember in the past I tried to connect with others but at the end I just got ghosted and ruined my creativity a bit.

Nico

All I can really tell you is that...you do you. Have fun with what you know you can enjoy and never compromise on things you don't want to compromise on.

From what little I know about you, you're writing stuff that's quite popular on E, right? There's that. <3

However, good luck man! We all deserve good writing and having fun with out tales!