Never Question A Real Domme For She Might Spank You

[Marguerite]

There is something I have noticed around E and nothing against anyone but why do people start insulting Domme's or even think that a Domme is just a female in need to be dominated? Now, I know there are fakes out there in the world who put on a leather corset and play around in the scene for a few weeks before hanging up their riding crop and joining the rest of society. I have met them and have become amused by these females who think she can become a Mistress and Domme by picking up a leather whip and telling people what to do. Myself, I have been trained and taught by a former Domme in the BDSM community. Here to better inform everyone that I, Miss Marguerite, will never ever submit to another Dominate is this copied journal of another site I am part of:

There was a question poised to me by a female slave as to how I became to be a Dominant Female. A very good question because it gives background into how I see and think about the things surrounding me. Well, ladies and gentleman, here is a piece into the mind of Miss M.

Honestly, I have always had an inkling to dominate over others. As a child, I wanted to be the one who took on responsibility and order others about. Hell, I've heard stories of me clucking like a mother hen over my younger sister and showing her the ropes, no pun intended, of how to digest a certain level of math, work the pawns and queens in a chess match and even now my sister can kick my ass in chess in less than five moves and outsmart me in math problem that leans towards trig. 

Anywho, there were even times, I worked behind the scenes pulling the puppet strings and guiding those I loved and hated into heaven and hell. Sounds a bit cliche but glancing back at how I was during elementary and middle school, I was into some alternative things, i.e. whipping, spanking, ordering someone to get on their knees and kiss my feet and all of this giving the whips, the spanks and getting the foot kisses.

Five years ago, five long years ago, I had entered into the lifestyle of BDSM. Yes, I was under the age and had befriended older and experienced BDSM lifestylers. I felt peace and at ease with the ideas and urges I had inside of me. I didn't get a strange look when I brought up whether a fantasy of spanking and tying up a male or a female was something that interested them.

A now-retired Mistress who went by the alias of Mix Painz introduced me to another Dom to try out if I was a top or a bottom. Well, I thought it wouldn't be too bad because I can try it out and if I like it then I could come back to this male again to try it out once more. Maybe even ask if I can top him as well.

Oh, no. It was horrible. I couldn't stand taking orders from this Master. I had a smart mouth and kept questioning why I needed to bark like a dog and count off to one hundred while he tried to knead my hips and breasts. I got a slap for that and it made me angry. All I thought about was how this wasn't right. I felt disgusted with myself. He called me a whore and a cumslut and how he was going to take my cherry. Wait up. I never had told him I was giving him my virginity. He automatically assumed I was his slave and he would do anything he liked to me. When he mentioned taking my cherry and telling me I would be taped, I snapped.

When I snapped, I took the flogging tool he had wanted to try to me and I flogged him on the back of the thighs where it usually hurts for me. I grabbed my clothes, dressed and left with him screaming that I was a fucking twat and a good for nothing cunt.

Now, as I flogged the Master, my skin glowed, cheeks were red as apples and I had laughed. Laughed, because I had enjoyed flogging the bastard for thinking he owned me and I was going to be videotaped for his pleasure. Fuck that. After the incident with the Master, Miz told me she had guessed I wasn't a bottom and would be much better suited to dom. Well, I dommed one of her male subs and showed me how to properly do a few things here and there. That is where I, Miss Marguerite, rose from the sea with a whip in one hand and a red apple in the other to tempt men and women alike to join me and take a bite of my luscious apple.

Now, ladies and gentleman, now you have seen just a tiny part of what makes Mistress Marguerite, aka, Miss M. Hope you enjoyed reading and email me if you like if you want to know more.

That is my history, that is how I became into the lifestyle of a Domme. No one asked me to play a part. No one told me I should do it for kicks and giggles. This is my life. My life as a Domme. No one paid me and no one can tell me who I should be. Being a Domme is a responsibility and not a playtime act to put away when I am tired of it. A part of this female and I know there are other females on E who feel the same way. After what I witnessed in the SB about petty talk about only one person being the true Domme while the others were fake hurt me because I know there are females who are Domme's but do not have to fit into the stereotypical females who pours herself into leather, lace and steel corsets or have a mean look about them. No, no one is supposed to look like the painted up 'Dominatrix' in bad horror movies or cop shows. A Domme is whatever a female can be when she feels the need to be dominate in one part of her life or her whole life. There is not a clear definition to who is considered a Domme but do not try to insult me by telling me I am a liar or a fake for declaring myself a lifestyle Domme who will never submit to anyone. That is my choice. No one else.

Now recently, I had two people come onto me in private informing me I am not a Domme, just a pretty female who needs a good hand to show her to like the title of submissive. The first one, soon found out I will grab certain delicate parts of a body and inform said person that if someone has been a lifestyle Domme for five going on six years, Mistress for five and has more than enough gestures of her never wanting to be a switch, sub or slave that they should understand and back the fuck away.

The other one soon found out that if he/she kept pushing me, the claws would come out to show that while I can be a caring female and flirty female here on E, I will bring out the darker side of my personality to make sure no one tries to rip away what I am and try to shove a new personality into my body. No one owns me and I am my own person. Never question a Domme if more than enough information has been backed up on her. However, if there are females who think about being a Domme the best way to learn is through another Domme and not through movies and books. Movies and books can skewer the reality of what it is like to be a lifestyle Domme for it is not all about sexual perverse and debauchery. It can be like that at times, but a Domme works with a submissive/slave/switch and knows the rules to make play time and sessons safe. Please, read over various articles on the lifestyle a Domme has and even go around to different communities to even acquire a kernel of knowledge. There one shall seek the answer to who is a Domme and who is playing the part of actress in the BDSM community.

Question a true Domme and think to push one down to the level of hands and knees, be ready for the nails to come out.

[Autumn Sativus]

There is something I have noticed around E and nothing against anyone but why do people start insulting Domme's or even think that a Domme is just a female in need to be dominated?

So I'm not the only one...

Being a Domme is a responsibility and not a playtime act to put away when I am tired of it.

Thank you.

Now recently, I had two people come onto me in private informing me I am not a Domme, just a pretty female who needs a good hand to show her to like the title of submissive.

This makes me wonder if these people are simply sexist bastards who are still stuck in the times of 'women belong in the kitchen'. Wake up people, it's the 21st century.

Question a true Domme and think to push one down to the level of hands and knees, be ready for the nails to come out.

Seriously? Overall... amen Sister. There are few, but still far to many male dominants out there who think that somehow their dominance is more legitimate than that of a Domme. I've been teamed up on by several Doms within E in the past trying to break me down and tell me that I just need to be put back in my place. Actually I was going to post something about it like this, but you've beat me to it! Love the blog, and I hope a lot of people get to read it... they need to.
-Glares-

[Mnemaxa]

I know that a lot of the unrealistic views on dommes and doms comes from other roleplaying sites and writing sites where people are not expected to be whom they actually are.  As a result, you often find 'dommes' who actually want to be bottoms, and 'doms' who haven't the slightest clue how to actually dominate.  When people see the way one acts in the SB they tend to think of it as a persona rather than an actual individual, because in those other boards, they were all personas, masques to hide behind and experiment and play with. 

I think more people should read this and think twice about what they think about people on the SB really are like....

[Greenthorn]

I also think that many people, including myself, might title themselves one way or another, but they are clueless about the BDSM lifestyle.  Just as many are clueless about the Gorean lifestyle.  Many people look at each of them and just see "sex".  They are not interested in anything but "who is in charge during sex".  They see movies where a woman is dressed in leather with a riding crop in her hand and a guy on his hands and knees...they think: hot.

It all comes down to not having an understanding of a lifestyle choice, and it's not just BDSM or Gorean, people don't understand things like a chosen religion (if they do not follow the same religion).  It is simply a misconception of another's lifestyle.  If one is not -in- that community or does not follow that lifestyle, their only experience is what they see during their mainstream lives.

Marguerite...keep educating those people 

[Dawg]

In the beginning
I was fooled by Dominants
who were good looking, had charisma,
dressed well,
and had that "dominant" personae.

I soon realized that these things are easy to fashion.
Real Dominance is a deep and visceral thing,
something that has nothing to do with the trappings of BDSM.

-: Sensuous Sadie :-

[srl]

I don't think it is directly a dom/sub or BDSM thing.
Some people are just assholes.

You can't go up to someone and tell them they need to change, that seems just wrong to me.

[tesseractive]

How awful. I'm glad you got out OK and didn't abandon the lifestyle entirely.

If that was his idea of a first meeting, I can only imagine how unpleasant it would be for someone who didn't want him to go that far, but was less willing and able to fight back.

[Cherri Tart]

thing is? a true sub can sense a true dom, and those who do think that it's just about 'playtime' don't fool us :)  one of the things i like about E and about our site at PrP, is that people do take the time to share and edcuate and ask questions and keep an open mind.  Thanks for taking the time to share this and all the other knowledge that you do, Ms Marg *hugs* it's truly appreciated. 

[Autumn Sativus]

I will agree with Cherri. Those who actively participate in the D/s scene, will easily pick out the fakes. It doesn't necessarily take a Dom/me to notice a sub, or vice versa. Subs and notice false subs just as much as Dom/me's can notice false Dom/me's. I find it also tends to be something that 'draws' people together. Subs and Dom/mes are likely to interact with each other and feel comfortable based on the feelings that are projected from one side or the other. The idea; they're not fooling anyone.
~S.

[Darius]

In my younger days, I worked at a bar that served as the gathering place for some of the local scene people. On the days that group met, I was no longer at the bar working, but instead checked invitations at the door and made sure they were not interrupted.

I had an an idea of what went on inside. I knew I liked that sort of thing, but was not sure where to start or what to do.

One night the bar's owner invited me in as a guest and a core part of me was born that night. Afterward I asked her now she knew I'd fit in. Her answer, "Takes one to know one." That tiny little korean woman was made of steel, and I learned more from her over the next three years than any time after about this craft we shared.

Today, I try to pay it forward and look for others and teach them. I think its a responsibility we all have.

Very good piece Marguerite

[Darkforged Dove]

Marguerite,

Thank you for that post. Your quoted article, and the story therein. Frankly I'm surprised that you let that fake dom off that easy. Words and insults or corporal punishment don't make someone dominant. It's in their posture, their tone of voice, and their eyes. People who try to fake personal power through words or by taking on the trappings of power always seem to leave me seething when they try to impress (or worse, dominate) me, or laughing on the inside (and sometimes on the outside) when I see them trying to impress (or dominate) others. They're a joke for their falsehood.

People who insist that dressing the part is important are fools. A tiger is a tiger no matter what they wear, rags or riches. They way they move, the way they stare out at the world with bored, watchful, eyes will always be the same. Their claws are always there, ready to come out.

I think one of the most interesting things that I've seen is watching the most submitting person that I know completely change herself and stride across the ground, she had iron in her that she didn't even realize. When I mentioned it to her, she felt like she had been caught. Eventually she accepted the fact that when push comes to shove, that she doesn't back down, but she still prefers to remain quiet in her day to day life.

[Nadir]

>_>

<_<

I have the most insane urge to question you right now... even though I don't doubt you for one moment.

^w^

[Desan]

>_>

<_<

I have the most insane urge to question you right now... even though I don't doubt you for one moment.

^w^

write it down before you forget =P

[Mnemaxa]

[Marguerite]

>_>

<_<

I have the most insane urge to question you right now... even though I don't doubt you for one moment.

^w^

-Smiles-

You are too cute.

-Notices the comic strip and laughs-

Oh yes, I like it, Max.

[Andy]

Truth being told, ive been senseing that Dominant "aura" about you ever since you replied in my anthrocorp thread when i started here Marg

... wait, does that make me a true sub? 

And those who say that you "Need to be put in place", give them a slap with the crop from me, because no one has the right to try to change a person, unless said person wants it.

[Marguerite]

Thank you Andy.

-Smiles-

[Andy]

Youre Welcome miss Mar.

-Bows.

[Captain Maltese]

Heh. I wonder what level of social iq those two guys had that you mentioned initially. You've come across as the genuine article since the moment I met you. Even though there isn't a single submissive atom in me. I have difficulty even imagining you on your knees.

[Dakota]

For well over a year i was involved in Gor, even had a slave for most of it, needless to say it was the biggest mistake i ever made, it was pure hell for the both of us, but for some reason i just couldn't admit to myself that i was really a sub, eventually it took some very powerful words from a friend to convince me. And yes there are far too many fakes but the same goes for subs as well, in it for the 'sex' they have no idea what true submissiveness is, tell a fake to get on his/her knees and spread their legs and they'll do so almost too willingly, tell a fake to go wash the dishes, tidy the room, they'll tell you to Piss off, it makes me sick.

i hope you don't mind me saying my piece here Mistress   

[Beguile's Mistress]

I'm new here and still waiting for approval at the time I'm writing this.  I hope no one minds my adding a comment.  I've never thought about the dom/sub scene.  I know a few people who are into it.  Yesterday one of those friends asked for some help.  They were working some scripted role plays for people who were exploring their curiosity about this aspect of their sexuality.  I've done a little amature drama and I'm pretty tolerant (according to them) so they asked if I could help with the role play, reading the scripted parts for both dominant and submissive characters.  There were a lot of applicants and two of their assistants had bailed on them. 

In the course of two and a half hours I read both parts, each about half a dozen times and by the time I was done my head was ready to explode.  Both parts got a strong reaction from me.  By the time I finished I ran out of the workshop to the gym and swam laps in the cold pool for almost an hour.

I have no desire (I think) to be a dominant or a submissive.  I'm afraid I'll hurt someone or get very angry at someone bossing me around.  I can understand the initial attraction, though. 

One of the points of the workshops is to help the people exploring decide if they are truly committed to this type of role.  They do a pretty good job weeding out the voyeurs and posers and helping others who are scared and confused. 

I now have to go find a quiet place and have a long talk with myself about this.

[Marguerite]

Such great joy to see that this post is still relevant because I was insulted by someone online letting me know that because I did not want to show my breasts, I was not a 'true Domme'.

[Chelemar]

Miss M.

Very insightful and thought provoking.

As for

Such great joy to see that this post is still relevant because I was insulted by someone online letting me know that because I did not want to show my breasts, I was not a 'true Domme'.

I have no doubt in your ability to set him to the right of it. 

[Chelemar]

Oops, the link broke.


I am sure that you soon Set  on him straight...

[Nico]

Did I mention that I love you, Marg?