Be the fat, ugly bastard of my dreams (F seeks M)

[meihua]

I’ve had glimpses of him here and there. Walking with a limp through long, unlovely streets, in one place. Slipping inside adult cinemas and massage shops, in another. I've seen him grinning like a dog as schoolgirls walk by. But mostly, he's someone indistinct.

He's not young, not by any means. In his 40s and 50s. He hasn't aged well, not at all. At that age, you have the face you deserve, and it's not a good look. Years of heavy smoking and drinking, poor nutrition, and scowling, they've all taken their toll.

Maybe he's working as car park attendant, or a clerical officer, or security guard, at something that goes nowhere at all. He's lazy and recalcitrant. His manager would get rid of him without a moment's hesitation, but somehow or other he's hung on to his poorly paid job. It's an achievement of sorts.

I imagine him living in a rooming house or cheap apartment. It's always filthy. His bed is a mattress that lies on the floor. His PC sits on a cardtable in the corner of his bedroom. At night he listlessly watches a progression of vulgar images and clips. He has no patience for more than this.

His life has soured and embittered him. He no longer has much hope for any change for the many years of tedium and disappoint that have preceded the present time. 

I can imagine, for example, meeting him through an online dating service. He responds to my profile even though he is older than even my father and we have nothing at all in common. He simply has a 'thing' for Asian women ('yellow fever' he calls it) and he brushes aside my polite refusals. When I insist that he stop writing to me he becomes aggressive and abusive. When I block him on the dating website (of course I've tried) he begins to write directly to my personal email address. I didn't give him that information and I don't know how he found it. I just want him to stop.

My character's interaction with him will be, to varying degrees, non-consensual. How could it be otherwise?

My interest in him (and by "my" I mean the actual me, tapping away on the keyboard just now) is obsessive and dark. If any of the elements I've identified offend you (to wit, fatness, ugliness and bastardry), please do not respond. They're not negotiable. Everything else, however, is up for grabs.

I'd be surprised to come across this fellow here. But if you do come across him, give him a nudge and send him over to me. And even if you haven’t, I'd settle for as much of him as you possess, or as much as you can feign.