Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

[Catherine]

I can feel the world bouncing over and over as I lay there asleep. "Let me sleep a little longer mom," I say trying to roll over but find the blankets have a death grip on me preventing me from rolling over.

The bouncing is just enough to keep me asleep, well half asleep and not running for a doorway thinking it was an earthquake. Even in my slumber I wonder why people run for the doorways when an earthquake hits. I mean those can come down and in a bad earthquake the door would keep swinging open and close on you until it manages to lock and that wouldn't be pretty at all. Not at all!!! fingers would be hurting and I would be screaming and crying,

"Please just five more minutes, it isn't Saturday but can't we just act like it is."

Still more bouncing and I ask myself, did I fall asleep on a waterbed? It would make sense with all of the bouncing. I have heard people can get seasick on them because of their ability to take the slightest little move and make it worse. Also heard that some have disappeared on them like the Bermuda Triangle but rectangular and not in Bermuda.

"Okay How about ten minutes? I am trying to compromise here," I say eyes still closed with an added little yawn.

The bouncing continued and my stomach was starting to complain. Bouncing is good but this is getting ridiculous. It is like one of those mechanical rides at the stores that parents put kids on thinking they will like it. Yeah it is fun for the first couple seconds but then we realize it isn't going anywhere but by that time it malfunctions and it goes from "I am riding a pony" to "Yeehaw, this bull won't throw me". I set the record by the way, fifteen minutes before I turned green and urped.

"Fine I will get up," I say, opening my eyes to see the world going by silently. I look down because why not and see something, well somethings that I never thought I would see, PYGMIES!

[Catherine]

Yeah it didn't take long for the little guys to start chanting it was a catchy tune. I didn't understand a single word of it, I don't speak Pygmynesse. Still could hum to it, maybe they could record it and use it as some background music in a movie or show where needed. Oh since it is so relaxing, maybe offer it to those people who have a hard time falling asleep. A lot better than that strange whispering, I think I heard one once that sAid "We will get you while you sleep" which if I was using it I wouldn't be sleeping at all.

Down the hallway we went past the hidden traps that I am sure are about. I think I see one right over there in fact.

*point*

You can look if you like but since it is hidden and you may not have a trained eye it will just look like hallway. This is real life not something made up and if it will do something it is painted just a slightly different color. It works in cartoons, I think the characters are color limited blind where they cannot see variations of colors if they are next to each other.

Cartoon theory done. There will be a test later. Have you been studying? Kidding!!!

Down the hallway and over a pit trap which they somehow floated. Insert question marks. Does everyone but me know how to float? I mean come on… just glad they could because it looked like there were sharp pointy things down there and yeah sharp pointy things and myself don't mix. Other than me holding a stick with a marshmallow or hotdog on it over a fire.  Then we get along perfectly fine, yum!

Down more hallway, Okay this is getting ridiculous! Was the building even this long. Is this building like a telephone box and is bigger on the inside? So help me if a doctor pops up with something in his or her hand I will scream. I didn't come here for any type of doctor interaction.

"Hello I am the Doctor," said in a British accent.

"I really doubt that let me see some papers."

"Um!!! here look at this."

"Yeah a blank piece of paper. Actually two pieces of blank paper. Nice try."

"But uh!!!"

"That is what I thought. I think I am going to report you to the medical association for impersonating and that is poorly impersonating a doctor."

"But I am the Doctor. "

"You already told me that and we already proven that you don't have the papers to prove that so yeah no."

"but I am...”

"yeah I know the Doctor. Can we maybe move on to something different? Oh and stop waving that thing at me someone can take it for something bad and I am not into that stuff. jeez. What is it again a sonic what?"

"Screwdriver"

"yawn bored."

Back to the hallway with NO DOCTOR!

Oh look a door, finally...

[Catherine]

I got the whole queen thing going, hey how can I help it? Being carried does that to you, unless you are tied and bound of course. Then it goes in a whole different direction. *shiver and shudder*

"Fan me," I say, royally waving with a hand with a hint of dismissiveness in it. I wasn't really hot or anything but the words just came out. It has to be a royal thing. When in doubt have those who carry you also fan you.

"Grape me," not even sure where that came from to be honest. Where would even get grapes at this height? Something hard arced up in front of me and hit me in the head.

"Ow!"

Using my ninja like speed and monkey agility I catch whatever it was before it rolls away to wherever it would have went. Over there. Maybe over there. Under one of the carrier's feet which would have gotten this whole moment messed up. Those being carried shouldn't be tossed up haphazardly and end up on their butt. Falling and royalty don't mix, even faux royalty. Although royalty and sharp objects that fall and sever the union between head and neck do I hear for some.

"NOT ME!!!," I yell out, getting a strange look from the pygmies. "Not me," I mumble as I lay back again, stupid mind and everything. The pygmies wouldn't understand so all I could do is lay back like I said I did and just hope there isn't a large blade on the other side of the door. If they start turning me as they motion for me to push my head out a little more I will show them how strong I am when I grab the sides of the doorway and start yelling "Nope!"

There are of course other commands I could use; rub my feet, tell me how pretty I am and others but those are so blah with blah added and well not me.

I glance towards the door and issue the command, "Open the door but knock first. Don't want to catch anyone doing something ick."

[Catherine]

"Did anyone put any effort into this, " I say, lifting a hand, not even sure which one now and just let it drop. That is how disappointing it is on what I see. I mean come on, it looks like it could be a cover from some game where it takes dice and becomes really confusing.

"Roll what and add what to do what? All I want to do is get up and get a drink of water? What in the world is a THAC0? Is it catchy? I think my brother had it and he had to get shots!!!

There it stood and I think sat would be a better description. Some guy with sharp teeth and horns. I would have screamed but the guy was a statue and unless they are falling on me or something similar there are no screams. Yeah he was huge and everything but whatever was flying in and out of the statue's mouth sort of softened it. The whole holding a pot full of fire was a good touch and so were the gems for eyes. The golden braziers with fire in them was a bit much though, I mean look one huge fire and two tiny ones is a bit of an overkill.

Obviously an interior designer wasn't consulted when setting this place up. Well throw pillows would have not been good either so I guess that is okay,

What really took away from the whole this * circle hands in air* was the people crawling over it trying to pry out one of the emeralds and the group just standing there looking confused. At least one had paper out which is never good near open flames. They must be new at this, I mean look at them. Now they could be the people doing the sacrificing but if they are, I am not sure if I have to worry about tasting flame.

Well hmmm...

[Catherine]

I should just turn around and leave, obviously I am in the wrong place or something. Maybe I am even being punked, I mean look at them they aren't even dressed even close to what they should be wearing. Look at the one over there. *point* Robes? Good for bathrooms or cold winter days but outside of that it is a  'yeah no' are you hearing that people that visit that one store that sells mass produced items for you to yell and scream at as you put it together and find out you are missing one screw! Robes are for inside of the house or a sauna and maybe a pool or close to the beach but nothing outside of that! 

Then don't even get me started with that person over there. *point over there* Armor?!?! If you are trying to be silent you are wearing the wrong thing! Then there is really how much can you do in that? Run? It looks like you would barely be able to to walk in it. All you would be good for if you need to run away to or away from something with teeth is make it easy for the person who finds you to clean up the mess that you had become. Think people!

That cone hat is stupid to. It would get caught on anything low. What fashionista even thought of that? Maybe it doubles as a megaphone or hides something under it like a rabbit but that is just cruel.

Okay look over there. *points over there* how can you classify what she is wearing as armor? I mean come on it just looks like they gave up after placing the smallest pieces of metal on leather straps.

"Aren't you cold?"

*fingers to bridge of nose*

"Give me a second to think. There might be another door and I got the one behind me but I would hate to see the Sorry little faces of the pygmies if I went out that. Hmmmm I hope these 'adventurers' don't have anything!!!"