Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

[Catherine]

((Da story of Monkey will be told in parts like the previous one. What there was more story and more words to make cry. Like before done in small parts like a bowl of chocolate chip cookies. You can eat the whole bowl at once and blame someone else. But you are going to suffer with a upset tummy. So not to get any upset tummies and people getting sick the story will told in small parts sans chocolate chips.))

((This is sort of a part two of a part one which you don’t have to read but it might help with questions.  The first part can be found here -> I am the first part. No really I am and if if you like words there are a ton of them there. Well not a ton but a lot. So yeah if you want to know what happened before this part read the part that was written before this part which is found above.))

"Owwwww," I say as I roll over, spitting pebbles and pieces of moss out of my mouth as I do. Every part of me is sore I think, give me a second and I will check. Let us try , Ow! How about? Ow! Yeah and what about? Okay ow! Yeah I think everything is sore.

"Are you are alright?" I ask as I push myself off the floor with one hand and my tail sweeps in front of me and gives me a thumbs up. I am not sure why it isn't sore or anything, I mean I am covered in bruises but my tail isn't. Was it all the stunt training it did years ago that kept it from getting hurt or.....

I look back the way I came and remember every rock and outcropping that I managed to hit on the way down. If I counted correctly, as I fell down the tunnel,  I think I hit every single one of them. Yeah even the one I thought I missed, somehow I hit one just right and it bounced me back to the one I missed. All along my tail dodged every single one, I remember catching glimpses of it and wondering how? But that is as far as that question got since it got knocked out of me with the next rock. So somewhere up the tunnel is a lost question and when someone ever finds it they will wonder how.

In a blink of an eye I am up, dusting myself off of course before leaning over picking up my imaginary adventurer's hat, a well worn felt fedora , and slip it onto my head. Adjusting it a little as I look around. I know how I got down here, sort of hard to forget that really. White rabbit, pocket watch and 'I am late!' I think I will need to talk to Carroll if I ever run into him and tell him that he was wrong, holes have gravity!

But where is here, I ask myself since all I can see is darkness all around me. Well except for the light coming from where I been of course, but I know what is that way so.... Hand into bag and nightlight! Nope that won't work, no electrical outlets that I can see and I don't think I packed any extension cord. I reach back in and pull out a flashlight and press the button.

CLICK!

Immediately the room is filled with squeaking and I smell something funny in the air. Bats and where there is bats there is..... Immediately I start to spit making sure there there was nothing weighing on the side of ick, still in there. I didn't need poo breath after falling down a tunnel, I already have bruises and that was enough.,

I could hear the squeaking getting louder and louder as I reached into my bag for a mint and finally realized what I was doing. Quickly I lowered the flashlight so it wasn't shining up to the ceiling, waking up and then blinding the bats that were hanging out up above, "Sorry..." Secretly hoping there was no vampire bats around, I didn't need any holes in my neck at the moment.

The beam danced around the room and I was surprised at what I saw, especially since what I was seeing was in a place it shouldn't be. More information on that later though because surprise became more surprise when two objects appeared in the beam.

Two big red glowing eyes!!! No no, did I scare you with that one, it was probably the exclamation points. I hear the more you use those the scarier a scene gets, I thought three was good. Anymore and well, I will just say well. But I am just pulling your tail, there wasn't any big glowing eyes. What I saw was two large jars with museum style labels under them.

"This could be interesting," I said to myself and oh to the bats to. I don't want to be rude and look like I am ignoring them. My mom and dad raised me good, they taught me to not ignore things especially things that are hanging above you with sharp teeth.

Interest piqued and honestly why wouldn't it. I mean coming on to two jars under ground in a room like this that screams piquing interest. Which isn't anything like Peking duck. Decision made then, I need to cross the room and see what is in the two jars.

[Catherine]

I start to cross the room carefully stepping over piles of white stuff. Which wasn't snow! Maybe ick snow, but not snow snow. No way would I make a snowman out of this stuff, nope no way. It is kind of nice though that someone, be it the bats or someone else, kept the white piles tidy.

Mid step I pause with that thought stuck in my head, not of the bats being organized but of someone else being down here. Quickly I flash the flashlight around, squeaks sounding off all over the place.

"Sorry," I say over and over as I look around. The beam of light revealing white columns going up and up on either side of the room and tons of folding chairs scattered all over the floor.,Whatever this place was it isn't it anymore, especially with  the bats and ick all over the place. It would be cool for a party though, well after it was cleaned up, I look around getting more and more squeaks as I do, a lot of them!

I could imagine dancing here and a band way over there. Oh I wonder how the acoustics is here. It carries a good squeak but I wonder. Slowly I point the flashlight down to the floor and clear my throat, "Do Re Me Fa So La Ti Do......" I listen intently as my voice travels around the room bringing back its passport properly stamped showing me where it has been, really there? That is cool.  I have never been there before, how was it? Really? I will have to get there someday. What did you say again? I need to try the what while I there? Ah ok I will have to remember that, thank you.

Oh my monkey, this place has excellent acoustics. Quickly I pull out a notebook, a small one and scribble some notes down and a quick drawing of the room. Okay the band here and the dance floor there and over there the hopscotch and way over there  the food and and over there something else.

I flash my light over there to make sure I can fit something else over there and a sense of wow comes over me. A mural, this makes it so much better. My light dances up it and all I can say is more wow. Who would have thought? Especially down... Was there more, I asked myself and quickly started to look around.

Angered squeaking could be heard as the flashlight's beam raced all over revealing one mural after another. This is amazing, I told myself as stood there in the middle of the room trying to catch my breath. I mean look and look and look.

I feel a tapping on my shoulder and turn my head a little, "Yes?" Hoping it is my tail and not something with little wings and teeth that goes squeak.

*imaginary hand wipe across head*

Whew! My tail is sitting there motioning upwards and I follow it up into the darkness to see if I can see what is seeing. "Yeah it is dark up there," I tell it as I start to look back down, quickly my tail sweeps in front of me and motions to the light and then up excitably. "Okay," I say with a laugh, pointing the flashlight up and okay WOW!

I just stand there, mouth open which is dangerous with bats flying around for obvious reasons. You could choke on one if it flew into your mouth thinking it was a tiny cave, which is all the rage now a days. Oh and yeah, the stuff that looks likes snow but isn't and comes out of bats' butts. I am not sticking my tongue out trying to see if I can catch any. Nope, don't even try to get me to do it. Nope. No. Not going to happen. What? You have a banana milkshake and I can have it if I..... Well..... No no no. You almost got me there.

If the murals on the walls were wow. The one on the ceiling was WOW! I mean look at it! The colors the details and the other stuff. I mean look at the clouds and the angels. It is a little creepy that their eyes feel like they are following me but still WOW! This place would be great, I would just have to cover the some of the things up though. No modesty in murals sometimes. Of course the painter could have ran out of whatever color the clothes would have been and had a lot of flesh colored paint left but I doubt that.

I jot down some more note before closing the notebook and slipping it back into my bag. "Definitely need to bring coverings," I say as I continue to walk to the boxes, catching site of another mural and slowly start to shake my head. If i didn't, people would be running into each other and the floor would be all wet because people was staring at them with their mouths open.

Carefully I step over another snow but not snow pile and climb the stairs towards the two jars. They weren't big, no bigger than a bread box and I would be so disappointed if they were just bread boxes of some sort, and sitting on wooden pedestals with little museum tags on the front of them. Which I usually ignore, it is so much more fun to name the pieces.

"This one is hmmm..... Woman with a sort of a smile and something in the background ."

"It says it is the Mona Lisa."

"See I got it right."

"Ummmmm no you didn't. You weren't even close."

"Pft, mine is better and I am sure the artist originally had that title in mind."

"I dou...."

"Shhh.... On to the next one. I am thinking it is called a bunch of fruit on a table."

So which one first? Both are interesting and piquing interest even more since I am closer to them. Hmmmmm.........

((A dramatic hmmm.... a good place to stop for now. Back next time same topic.))

[Catherine]

I could flip a coin but that is so random and I always say tails, which sort of bites me in the butt if I am using a two headed coin. Really both are going to be looked at and named, but which one.

The one on the left looked old and made of clay I think, decorated with what looked like some ancient decorations. You know the types; lines, circles, squiggles and some really good look stick people. The other one on the other hand looked modern, sleek and maybe in a brush aluminum with a white lid. There was nothing else remarkable about it other than the little black circle on the lid and circular shaped area at the base of the jar.

Both looked like they could hold something, possibly cookies. It would be great if they had some, I am a little nomish. Decisions..... Decisions.....

I stood there for a moment thinking. Weighing the positives and negatives of both. The one looks old and my Grammy made really good cookies, but it looks really old so they might be stale and no matter how much milk you have, it will never save stale cookies. They will always be hard and have memories of what they once were and no matter what can't be again.

 * a tear and a moment of silence for all the cookies that gave ever gone stale. *

The other one, the one that looked modern, that held some possibilities. It looked new so if it had cookies they would be more fresh. But..... Something was up with that one. It was too modern for a place  like this. It had to be a trap or something. It just had to be, luring people in with hints of cookie sweetness inside. Then as the person opens the lid the trap is sprung, BLAM! There isn't cookies inside, just the ingredients to make them. Noooooooooooo.................

It would good if could just open both at he same time, but the interior designer for this place put them just out of arms reach of each other and no matter how many toes I balanced on or how far my tongue stuck out, I would never be able to reach them both.

"You" I said, pointing to the one with the promise of Grammy's cookies. No those could be really stale and I could hurt my teeth if I tried to nom them. If they are stale enough I could be petrified. Quickly I swung my arm and pointed at the other, "Then you." The thought alone of baking in this place and the special ingredient that the bats could put in just made me, no ick. ERGH!!!!

I could just turn around and leave, but my curiosity  has been piqued and it has me by the tail. If I don't look inside I will have nightmares every time I sleep. Both vases dancing around me singing in some weird Disney like film way and I would wake up in a cold sweat, blankets sticking to me and thumb in mouth.  Did I just  admit to sucking  my thumb out loud? Just pulling your tail. Hey what is that?

  * Ninja art of changing the topic at an awkward moment.*

My master gave me a similar test once, placing a wax banana and a real one next to each to each other and I had to chose one. Wax bananas do not taste good by the way. Nothing like bananas at all, yeah they look like one and feel like one but that is where it ends.,I am not sure who came up with the idea of making wax bananas. They need to be sat down and told no. So how did I finally figure that out?

The bats squeak above me as I stand there and think. It was trial and error really, you can eat only so many wax bananas before you just know. Which isn't going to help me here. If the first one is blah i might not want to open the other, my piqued curiosity would be disappointed and really not be curious anymore.

Which one? Grrrr........

I look back and forth between the two jars, old and new. I start to reach with one with both hands. No.... Then pull them back and start to reach for the other. No.... I pull my hands back again and start to reach for the first one. Hands getting closer and closer. My fingers barely touch the surface of the jar before pulling them back again.

"I choose you!" I say reaching for the other jar. This is going to be good.

((Cookie jar picked... this is going to be so good. But have to wait, well shoot.))

[Catherine]

I stop as I reach for the jar, I know how tricky some people are especially the ancients. Being forced to read the stories in school, sitting there reading them I wished they wrote in clear and understandable English, I remember how they had time to think and be creative. This creativity lead to some interesting things too, especially in the way of traps. I don't know why they decided to focus on those though, they could have done anything else but no. So there I stood thinking. Is there a trap? If so, what kind?

Slowly I start to circle the pedestal, first thing first, the trigger. It could be any number of things.

Light beams? I don't see any mirrors or reflective surfaces, which is a must for light beam triggers. Neither of those and well you don't get beams. That and if there was any, I triggered them already. Light beam triggers are usually placed at certain areas; which are over there, there and I think over there. I am here, so yeah those would have been triggered but since I am not flattened, pin cushioned or running for my life I am sure those aren't here.

Time? I don't see any clocks, so safe there too. Yes they could have hidden the clocks but those take batteries or have to be wound up every so often. Also shhh...... Nope don't hear any ticking, no ticking no clocks. Yes there are some that say they tisp, but not count down clocks. Those tick and nothing else or are silent and signal the time with other things; flashing lights maybe or music getting faster and faster. I  am not seeing or hearing either of those so that isn't the trigger.

Trigger plates on the floor? Too late if it is that, I didn't hear and clicks or see any obviously miss colored stones. That one over there looks off but I wasn't anywhere close to that. The worse kind of these type traps is the ones that have letters on them and you have to spell something out. 'What is my brother's friend's third cousin's best friend's sister's second cousin's pet's name? I hate to see what happens when you get one letter wrong. Oh and good luck. Here is a hint there is tons of letters. Have a nice day.' How am I suppose to know that?!? How would anyone know that? Is the pet's given name or its own name? Is it in the human language or the pet's own? This  is impossible!

Weighted? Pick the vase up and trigger the trap. Easily neutralized if you know how heavy the object is and you are really fast. YOINK and place. If you are a little slow you get the object but you also get the secret prize hidden somewhere, the trap!  Hey I got SMASH! That is why most adventurers carry bags with them, they may say otherwise, oh it is to carry the treasure, but it is to negate the weighted trap.

The last kind of trap is the most devious. It is the psych out trap. It makes you think there is a trap but in reality there isn't. You just stand there, walking around a pedestal, trying to figure out if there is a trap. Delaying you long enough for something to come along to either pound you or nom you. There is no way to disarm this type of trap other than disbelief, which only gets you so far after triggering a trap. You can disbelieve in the sharp blades swinging towards you or the large Boulder rolling towards you, which is a classic, but it is still going to hurt and in some circumstances a lot.

I root through my bag as I continue to circle the pedestal. There isn't any wires  that I could see or any 'for more information on this trap please call' things. So if there is a trap it will be of the weighted variety and I can.... Well poo I forgot to pack any bags. I knew I forgot something.

That leaves on one thing and it will take precision movement and precise timing. Quickly I get myself situated, legs a little farther apart and crouching just a little. Slowly I bring my hands closer and closer, stretching my fingers as I do. Need to be prepared. Anything goes wrong and something will go wrong.

Sweat drops, oops I meant I start to glisten, as my hands edge closer and closer. Three...two and one.

YOINK!

((Ending a week in a yoink is a sign of a good week maybe...  until next time, yoink))

[Catherine]

The ceramic vase was cool in my hands, weighing just enough to let me know that I was holding it and it wasn't so heavy, that I was regretting it. I stood there frozen for a moment, looking side to side to see if there was anything shooting towards me at extreme speed. I really didn't want to have a 'Hey I got the THUNK!' moment. Those never go well at all.

Eyes to the left. Eyes to the right. Eyes up. Eyes down. Not seeng anything. Wait what was that? A blade that will double my trouble? A boulder that will smash the happy out of me. It is coming fast and making erratic movements, it is going to be hard to dodge if.... Wait, it is a bat. While ick, unless it is a vampire bat it isn't deadly unless I am an insect or a piece of fruit, which I am pretty sure I am neither of those.

Slowly I exhale the breath I didn't know was holding and relax. Whew no traps. I knew I was taking a calculated risk with the YOINK, but I need to know what is in the vase. I start to spin it in my hands, looking at all of the ancient stuff on it. I wish I stayed awake in art history class now so I would at least have some idea what all the symbols meant. Yeah they were painted in black, a nice glossy one, on the vase's red ceramics which really didn't help me any. But knowing the meaning of the symbols doesn't go into naming it, hinders it actually. Usually knowing more about an item takes the fun out of the naming process.

'I will call this white screaming thing ahhhhhh.'

'Well it says here that it expresses the fear and other emotions running through a person as they fled the ....'

''That just hinders the creativity, blah'

Curiosity of what is inside of something always makes you do several things and I pick  one of them. Carefully I place one hand on the lid and the other onto the bottom and shake. I can hear something smacking against the inside of the vase, something soft and very uncookieish.  I shake it a little harder and still the uncookie sound occurs. What could be inside the vase, I ask myself as I put it back down.

There was something in it, that I could tell. But what? Carefully I took the lid and started to lift it just enough to peek inside. Now I expected to see maybe something and not somethings, specifically a ton of little eyes looking back at me. Just staring and blinking. What is the old saying? If you stare into vase, expect it to stare back. That is what was happening and it gave me the willies and not the good ones either. "Uh hi," I said as a cold smoke started to leak out from the top of the vase.

Okay this is weird, I told myself. "Should I call the fire department or something?" I asked and got answered with hissing and crying and moaning and burping and some
 sneezing and some other sounds that I couldn't figure out.

That was a good enough answer for me and I closed the lid and took a step back. Okay that was not a cookie jar, I told myself and I had already came up with a name.

'Red vase with weird things and eyes inside', that fit perfectly I think but I wanted to see how close I got to the actual name.  I leaned in and read the museum label, chuckling to myself as I turned to the other vase. "That is a stupid name, pandora's box. Pfpht, it isn't even a box. Some people just aren't good at naming things. Now you white shiny thing with a block nob. You are next."

((How in the James Cameron do you fit a planet into a box...well vase? The ancients and their inability to correctly name things. Box or vase? Easy to figure out which is which. Vase looks vase-like and the other looks like a box. Until next time.))

[Catherine]

The second vase just sat there teasing me. Unlike the other one which had the eyes in it, which was a little no.... Really creepy. This one I didn't get the 'I am filled with eyes' vibe, it felt different. Maybe it was because it looked modern or maybe I was secretly wishing there was a cookie inside of it.

Grumble. Grumble.

"Yeah I know," I said patting my stomach, "you are hopping there is a cookie in it too."

Like the other one, I circled the vase looking for any triggers for traps. It didn't look like there was, but triggers have a funny way if hiding too. So I circled the vase again, examining it from every possible angle and even some angles that wasn't possible. Which I learned never to do again! It looked clean, well other than the dust but that is excusable.

I could feel my hands getting antsy, they knew what was coming and they were prepared.

Grumble.

Oh yeah so was my stomach. It was imagining what type of cookie could be inside. A snickerdoodle maybe, which when done right is yummy but when done wrong tastes like wet cardboard. Chocolate chip, that would be good if it has enough chips. Too many chocolate chip cookies have only a couple chips in them. Some even get to a ridiculous low number of chips. What I like to call 'what is this?' level. Is it dough and where is the rest of the chips? Did the baker eat them and was trying to pass off a unichip cookie as a chocolate chip cookie? HUMPH! Bring me chips! Peanut butter cookie, if there was one of those in there I will have to worry about elephants. I don't want to be standing there and suddenly find a trunk in my mouth. Ew and ick! There is the black sheep of cookie kind, their name can never be said out loud for fear of summoning one and bringing destruction down on everything nearby. The no bake cookie, my mom made a batch once. They looked like nature dipped in chocolate, not tasty and probably good for you. When she left the room I moved them outside through an open window, when she asked me what happened to them I told her a flock of birds pried open the window and took them. If she didn't believe me she could go check the woods nearby. I am not sure if she believed me so I told her that they scared the cat too. Honest monkey, the cat screeched and everything before taking off. ZOOM! A family meeting was called and evidence was shown, no no bake cookies ever again. They will never find the 'cookies' bodies, I buried them deep. Like this deep but only deeper. From nature they came so back they went, I freed them in a way and if they managed to dig themselves up they can live in the woods. Cookies that are good for you blah.

I stood there for a moment thinking then pointed and announced the name of the vase proudly. It was a good name, one of the best actually. Others would be jealous of the name, "White vase with a black lid that I hope has cookies in it."

  * Proud pose with hands on sides *

Now it can be opened, I told myself. It has a name now and that begs to be opened. That is the proper way of opening up strange things,  name then open and never the other way around. If you do it the wrong way, things will happen I have been told.

With one hand I reached for the lid, never questioning the circular depression in the vase. The sign of the cookie, I told myself, it just had to be. The cool almost metal but might be plastic feel to the lid was strange, I expected something heavier, I mean it was a lid. Lids should be heavy so they  can do their job. But it was light, carefully but anxious I looked inside. Hopping for a cookie. Please be something good.

((Fingers crosses be something delicious. But you have to wait. Oh the tension....))

[Catherine]

Moments after lifting the lid something sprung out. Nothing wth eyes and teeth because if it was that you would be reading eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........ Right now, that isn't a maybe I would do that, it is a definite. Especially since it would have sprung out from what looks like a cookie jar. It is like one of the joke peanut cans with the snake. Not funny, not funny whatsoever. I opened one once and no one warned me, I did the surprised mouth open expression. Fake snakes don't taste good, just saying. I would humph with arms crossed if someone planted something to jump out at me.

But it wasn't fuzzy, so no planted fake snake. It was something though, how would you describe it? I mean look at it. Oops I forgot, you are a reader of words and not right here with me. So I guess I should describe what is right there.

You know what a Pixel looks like. Okay imagine that now imagine like a bunch of them dancing all in the same place. Constantly shifting and moving and I think one has a lighter too! Of course all of the pixels are different colors, it isn't like they went to a themed party. They are dancing to the song in their umm..... Pixel? Oh and I forgot while they are dancing what looks like a stove pipe is slowly rising from the pixel blur.

"Umm... " is all I could say at first and pretty much second too. As soon as the umm slipped from between my lips the whatever it is glowed brighter and ummed back in a voice that sounded like a kid's choir that couldn't sing in tune. 

Curious I started to walk around the whatever, if it was turning to follow me I don't know. Kind of hard to tell really, especially if I was judging by the pipe sticking out of the top of it now.

My first instinct is to poke it, you can always judge something with a poke. If you poke and whatever it is hard it could be a rock. Poke whatever and it is soft it could be a cotton ball or the butt of the sheep, which I don't recommend poking. Poke and it is cold it is an ice cube. Poke and it burns and  your finger is flickering, your finger is on fire! Stop, drop and roll! Finally if you poke and you come back with one less finger. Whatever you poked didn't want to be poked and/or was hungry.

I was safe on the teeth part unless a bear trap appears out of nowhere and I am not a bear, so it wouldn't work. It doesn't look like it is on fire either. Slowly I bring my hand up and pointer finger up, edging it closer and closer just in case anything happens.

ZAP!

"Yow!" I exclaim as I pull my finger back and start to shake if, insertion into mouth will be coming soon. Whatever whatever is just hung there after a bolt of electricity dance across it and arced over to my finger. It could have at least warned me that it had a short and is prone to do that. I wouldn't have poked it If I knew and it eliminates my second instinct of licking it. No way no how would I lick it now, I don't want my tongue to go numb and have to talk all funny.

I could use my staff and poke it from a distance like way across there. A safe distance away from any stray bolts of electricity. That would be smart. As I turn to get into position, I stop as images of even bigger bolts of electricity shooting up my staff, my eyes getting bigger and bigger moments before I am blasted across the room, leaving my smoking shoes were I stood. Pass on that, a little early for getting blasted out of ones shoes  today. The proper time for that is and let me look, never unless it happens to someone else. Then it is funny unless they are hurt then not so much.

That leaves me one thing, I clear my throat. "My name is Nichole Anne Marie Smith, what is yours?"

((It is proper manners to introduce yourself then you can go screaming and running. Until next time...))

[Catherine]

Nothing happens for a long time, just whatever it is floating there doing the whole rave thing.

"Um okay...." I start to say, giving whatever the one eyebrow lift questioning look to it. It sort of answered me the last time I thought, that whole untuned kid choir um, but nothing now. I glance up and down at the whatever it is, trying to figure out what to do next. If I had really large rubber gloves I could gently shove it back into the vase, of course leaving a note on the case 'Not a cookie inside. Don't be fooled by what others might tell you. Not a cookie!' But no big rubber gloves, unless..... I pause my thought to look around. Maybe whoever built this place took safety into consideration. I am not seeing any fire extinguishers or anything so probably no large pair of rubber gloves laying around either. They would be easy to see too, since those are always bright yellow.

So no pushing the whatever back into the vase. Hmm...  Could just whap it with my staff. It would only take a couple of them.  It didn't do anything to deserve that though, other than the shock but it could have been saying 'Hello' or it rubbed itself in carpet before coming out and had a little bit of a charge built up. It is an uncalled for whapping and I shouldn't start doing those, people would start talking in hush tones around me thinking I went whapping mad. Tranquilizer guns would be used and I would wake up with a collar and possibly a tag in my ear. Don't need that and it is hard to find something to go with the collars, especially if they have a big box on them with a flashing light and don't have me start on the tag hanging from the ear. Ugh! That would just be.... Ugh!

"Excuse me, my name is Nichole Anne...." And suddenly I was interrupted by a ZAP! Thankfully not aimed at me but at a bat flying overhead. Letters appeared over the whatever spelling 'CAT'.

"Um.... No that is a...." I start to say and stop when all of a sudden there was a loud POP and where the bat once was, was a cat. Well a small cat and not a grumpy one either, more startled as it threw its legs out frantically and its eyes bulged out as it fell to the ground. Luckily the tale is true, cats do land on their feet and I witnessed it. We'll sort of, it did land in a deep pile of not snow, the only thing that could be seen is its tail poking out. Oh and the sad meow too, can't forget that.

My eyes went from cat to whatever, "What the?" Suddenly there was another ZAP and a bar dropped from above me and hit the ground with a loud THUMP. Another ZAP and a fat bat bounced off the pedestal, knocking over the modern base. "What the?" 

Quickly I look up, worried. Not just a little worried either, a lot worried! Especially  if there was a bar coming down. Now if it was a candy bar I wouldn't mind, but what just hit the ground leaving a big gouge wasn't a candy bar. At least not one I would like to eat. All I saw was bats way up there, their little eyes focused on whatever, not moving a muscle and not squeaking.

Umm this isn't good, I told myself as I looked back at whatever hovering there. "How?" I asked standing there. Whatever just kept dancing in one spot, every so often  flashing then dimming again almost strobe like.

"Excuse me...." I said bringing a hand up, one finger out but a safe distance away from whatever. "How the?"

Nothing happened, well nothing verbal really, but something happened. The whatever started to shake then phpt a cloud of smoke came out the top of the pipe and the words 'auto correct' hung there in the haze until they floated away.

"Okay?" I said looking around to see if I was being punked. No hidden cameras that I could see or people with cats or bars or fat bats in their hands ready to throw them up in the air.

Suddenly another word appeared over whatever 'Freedom!' and I swore I heard it being yelled in a bad husky Scottish accent.

This isn't good, I tell myself right before, in a flash, whatever flashes 'bye' then takes off leaving a line of clouds behind it and some evil cackling.

"Not good...."

((Huh? What just happened? I have to sit down and read this. Until next time.))

[Catherine]

I look around frantically, 'what just happened' flying through my mind, a little no a lot confused. Whatever just happened released whatever just flew out. I am not sure what whatever is either. I know it isn't the same as what is in the other vase, but it changed the bats into other things and glowed 'auto correct' when it did.

This 'isn't good' replaces whatever just happened in my mind as thoughts of whatever flying through the world changing things. The chaos that it could cause was off the charts. Airplanes would have wings, everything would taste like chicken and those little angel statues at fountains oh jeez, not good.

Quickly I reach for the museum tag and read it, 'Audokornet'. That isn't a good name for a vase, it doesn't capture any of its style or anything. It sounds so mass produced in a way, like it could be found in one of those stores that carries mass produced stuff that is really hard to put together.  Ones that always leave out one little piece that keeps the whole thing stable and when you are done you shake your hand in the air in frustration. Telling them they will rue the day they sold you that with a missing part, whatever rue means. It sounds like it could be in the thousand acre woods wearing a red shirt.

"Audokornet" I said trying to think, but drawing a bank. Whatever it is, it is getting away that is all I knew. Suddenly I felt a tapping only shoulder, "Yes?" My tail whipped around and pointed at my bag. "What do you want girl?" My tail answered by slowly shaking its tail head before undoing the bag, which still gets me. I am not sure how she does it without fingers but she does. "Do you want somethings inside? Did Tommy fall down the well?" Again my tail shook its tail head before slipping inside.

I could see it was looking for something, but what? The question got answered moments later when my tail pulled out the Boy Scout manual. "You don't think? Thank you," I said taking the manual from my tail and started to flip through it. There was no way that 'Audokornet' was in there. FLIP. FLIP. How to find a electric socket with a paper clip. Done that and went flying backwards. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP.  What happens in the woods. The sad sad story. No, but interesting. FLIP. Blue is the new green. Um no, it can't be that is why it is called blue and not green. FLIP. FLIP.FLIP and some more flips. Know your unknown and not the good stuff either.

Hmm, What is this? Quickly I scroll though the page seeing weird stuff and reading even weirder stuff. Did you know that, I shouldn't ask if you do. Because if you do i might have to look at you questionably, especially if you knew about this right here. That is just weird and maybe consider to stay unknown.

My eyes dance through the words, limbo through the paragraphs until I find the word. Not that word but the word I was looking for, Audokornet. Okay I thought they were thorough when they created the manual but wow. I wonder..... I flip to the next page for a moment, yeah they have that too.  I nod and flip back to the previous page and start to read. My eyes getting bigger and bigger.

'Audokornet, a creation of chaos with an ice cream headache. It likes to correct things even if they don't need correcting. In its eyes everything needs corrected because it isn't looking at what is, what was or whatever, it looks and sees something that needs to be corrected. Period, exclamation point and some other punctuation.

No one knows where Audokornet came from, some say it corrected itself into existence while others say it was created in the Big Bang and decided to take a siesta for a while.

All we know is things happen when it is around and usually not good things. Pink elephants, yeah they are its idea. Narwhals, you can guess what created those to confuse princesses. It looks like a unicorn, I must be able to ride it. GLUG GLUG GLUG. Child proof container lids, yeah it came up with those things too.

It is best to keep it locked away, somewhere quiet and boring. It likes that, trust us we didn't ask. The longer it is out, the longer things go bonkers. Oh and don't bother trying to kill it, it can't be be. Not even safes from high distances effect it. It has been tried. '

Okay GULP. So I just .... And it flew out to.... It will do... Oh poo. The only way is...  I look to the vase and where Audokornet went. I can't let it.....

I swipe at the vase and in one fluid move shove it into my bag before I take off running up the tunnel. This isn't good.... I will be blamed for....

((Okay not my fault I thought therr was cookies.... until next time.))

[Catherine]

It is a lot easier to dodge rocks when you are in control! I find out as I run back up the tunnel. I can remember every rock actually, that one there I found out we share something in common while that one over there told be a joke that I still haven't laughed at. I should really, so its feelings aren't hurt. How did the joke go again. Two rocks walk into a..... Oh my monkey that is funny. Two rocks....walk....then that other thing that is hilarious. Ha ha ha....

"Good one," I tell the rock as I run pass it, patting it on its back or its front? It is kind of hard to tell with rocks since it depends on the way you come up on them.  Since I am going this way I patted it on its back but if I was going the other way, well I just accidentally got too friendly with it. Which would have lead to an awkward moment.

"Uh, I am sort of sorry about that. I thought and well please don't take it the wrong way. I mean I..... What that is your girlfriend over there? Sorry it was a accident. I am not into your kind. Okay that came out wrong. I am just not into the hard and hard that is all. Listen I should um.... Go yeah I should go."

See I told you, a possible awkward moment. Somehow a picture of it would have gotten on the web with some line like, 'Monkey is into bouldering. Talk to your kids before they start down that dark path' or 'Some like it hard' or or something else that I couldn't live down.

I realized something as I passed another rock and if I wasn't chasing whatever, that and  if I would have stopped and looked back, I would have seen that I left facial imprints on the frontside (from this direction due to looking back) of the rocks. Tongue out on that one and eyes closed with a smashed look on that one over there. I so should have stopped and taken photos, could have done a flip book and sat there and laughed watching the facial expression change.

But yeah kept running, pass rocks and back up the tunnel, every so often passing something strange. Not sure where the giant lock came from, could have smacked my face into it and not remembered. Really not sure where the duck came from either, I definitely would have remembered hitting that, so soft. Might have dragged that along and used that as as little cushion.. SMACK! ah.... Thank you duck for tagging a long. Quack!

On I continued hopefully upwards passing more weird stuff that you wouldn't believe, I mean a moose come on, the logistics alone to get one of those down here is ridiculous. The permits alone would have taken hours then trying to push it down here. I am sure the moose wouldn't have liked it, it would have stood there all moose like while two hands pushed on its butt trying to get it moving, oh don't forget the grunting, 'Move it moose. GRUNT. You aren't suppose to be down the tunnel. GRUNT. Work with me here please. GRUNT'

But I finally put two and two together and get four, I am not a golf ball so don't hit me, when I reached the end of the tunnel and sunlight. I am sure everyone already figured out what the cause of the weirdness was, hey I was sort of busy running up the tunnel and living it so give me a break. That and stepping into the bright light is so more fitting of a 'wow, I just figured something out' moment. A lot more 'wow that is bright' but more fitting than a tunnel. Unless the tunnel has lightbulbs of course, which the one I just ran up  didn't.

"Audokornet..." I said with one hand covering my eyes as I stepped out of the tunnel, trying to see whatever and seeing only trees. I don't remember these being here...

((Okay why put no cookies on a cookie jar? I was... urgh.... there better be cookies during this adventure.))

[Catherine]

Okay there was trees here before following the rabbit down  the hole. Just not these trees, I pause to look up and up and up. These things went up forever and I am pretty sure that I would have remembered them. On no way shape or form we're they little trees, these things were gigantic. If I would have guessed someone could have lived in one quite nicely too, with a four car garage and everything. I mean look at them, I might need to pack for a multiple day trip if I try to go around one.

Hmm.... Here read this, I will be right back. I do some stretches before taking off, don't need to pull anything as I run around the tree. If something happened it might takes days for someone to rescue me.

I take off running, being careful of any roots that might try to trip me or any rabid timber tigers. Those can hide anywhere and at the last moment RAWR, pounce on you. I have heard of packs of them hunting unknown hikers, running along side of the trail calling out to each other.

"Hey I think we got one here. "

"Yeah it looks like it."

The hiker looks around trying to figure out what is going on. Oh they can be seen in the woods  and that can be scary sometimes , have you seen some?

"You run up ahead and come charging down the path at the.... It is really  hard to tell sometimes with humans, they all look alike. I think it is a guy. We will just go with that."

"Uh yeah that is correct," the hiker answers still very lost.

"Sounds good, what are you going to do?"

"Oh I am going to sneak up from behind so the guy doesn't see me. You pounce, he trips over me and remember to bring the leftover containers."

The hiker starts to look around nervous, sweat dripping from him. "Uh I can hear you guys. This isn't funny."

"Hey, be quiet so he thinks we left okay?"

"Cool, shhh...."

You see like tiny raptors, really scary. I freeze in mid stride when I think I hear something calling out with a 'hey you'.  Looking around I see nothing but bark and woods, but I can tell I am being looked at even worse being watched. You know the feeling, hairs standing up on my back and everything.

"Hey you," I hear again and turn to see if I can find its source but all I can see is leaves and unless they learned how to talk , I really doubt it is them.

From behind me I hear, "Yum.... Did someone bring the barbecue sauce?"

"Yeah I brought some, " I heard from somewhere else.

I start to look around more and more as I hear the voices and not ones in my head. It sounds like I am surrounded, maybe even from above. Only one way to check that. I look up trying to see if I can see anything other than woods before calling out, "Hey is anyone up there?"

"Yeah why?" I heard answered back followed by a "Shhhh....." coming from somewhere else.

Okay surrounded and whatever is surrounding me is hungry.  Maybe I can find out whatever it is and get ready for it. You see getting surrounded by Saber-toothed Tigers is vastly different then being surrounded by baby chickens. One has lasers, for example, while the other doesn't.

I consider for a moment to carefully, so not to alarm whatever is surrounding me, slip a hand into my bag. Then it quickly find the  hyper turbo super staff of whapping and grab it. That way there is no way I would be caught of guard if something jumps out and I am pretty sure something is going to. But then I consider something, me getting a little anxious and extending the staff while it is in the bag. Hello hand stuck while whatever is surrounding me jumps out. All I could do is try to pull my hand out and scream, maybe gurgle in the worse case scenarios which I hope to avoid.

"Hey you know it would be nice if you told me what you are right?"  I ask, relaxing just a little but keeping all senses on max. I could tell my tail was ready to throw down just in case something or a bunch of somethings was about to say boo with teeth.

"That would be nice." I heard a voice say off to my right.

"I agree." I heard from somewhere behind me.

From above, "let's not spoiling surprises."

"True...." Rung out from all over.

"That and she will find out soon enough. Mwhahaha."

"You know the evil laugh was uncalled for and is a little creepy." I said as glisten starts to form.

"Chuck likes to throw that in. He insists that it adds something. I think otherwise."

"Can your tell me what chuck is?"

"Yes," the voice answered, "but I am not going to. You will see soon, right chuck?"

Chuck answered with a 'yes', just wish I knew what Chuck was but something tells me I will find out soon. Kind of hard to miss that really I think since they kept saying I will find out soon. Fingers crossed for cute and fluffy. 

((Oh great Now evil laughs are introduced. Now it is an adventure.))

[Catherine]

I can hear the voices whispering to each other, calling dibs on various parts of me. Which I really don't appreciate since I like all of the parts I have. Especially that one, that one and this other one and oh the rest of them. If I was missing any of them I would be incomplete like a puzzle missing one piece and I don't want that, I like being complete.

"Who are you? What are you?" I say looking to see if I can see any hints of what the owners of the voices might be. All I can tell you is whatever they are they are good at hiding since all I can see is woods. The voices didn't even bother to answer me this time they just kept chatting away.

Slowly the camera circles around the lone monkey girl, the microphone catching the constant whispering coming from everywhere which will be edited out later. Maybe some music will be played, something subtle but dramatic as an announcer does his or her job.

"What you are seeing is the victim, I mean prey sweating her butt off, wondering what is happening and more importantly what is about to happen. Oh if she only knew, she would run in fear, arms up and screaming. If there are kids watching we would recommend changing the channel until after the screaming stops or maybe cover their eyes."

"Wait what?" I ask, "What do you mean by all of that? I am not sweating, I am just glistening and not very much. It is hot out and what aren't you telling me? What is out there looking at me with hungry eyes?"

"It would cut down on the dramatic, the anticipation. Our ratings would be low if we let the the prey know what is hunting it. It is very PC but very anticlimactic too. Viewers would only tune in to certain ones and there would be no eyes not blinking while shoving popcorn into their mouths moments. Which the audience loves."

"What are you talking about? There isn't an audience, this is real." I say looking around  still trying to find the source of the whispering. For a moment, I thought one of the voices slipped up and revealed itself when I spotted a frog under a leaf. Most ingenious, you thought you could escape me.

Wait a second, I tell myself as I shake my head. Frogs don't talk, okay there is that one on tv but I know that isn't real and has a person's hand up where the sun doesn't shine. Maybe that is why it's eyes are bulging out and it's mouth is always open in a silent call for help. But in real life frogs only croak, ribbit or burp. So it has to be something else....

"The prey looks confused. Was it the decoy that the Hunter laid out, tricking it into believing it was being hunted by a frog. Let us find out."

"I am not confused," I respond looking over my shoulder, not sure what I expected to see though. "I thought I found the source of the voices that is all."

"That is what all prey says before they are..."

"Are what?" I ask still trying to find the source of the voices and just finding woods.

"Oh nothing. Stay tuned viewers. Will the prey escape this time or will she go down kicking and screaming."

"Stop that! Go announce something else."

Suddenly I hear a cracking of a branch to the side. Here's where I find out what is talking so much, I tell myself as I start to turn, preparing myself for something. What that something was I wasn't sure, but I was about to find out.   

((Enter snappy ending thingie. Brain working slow.... until next time.))

[Catherine]

All I saw was a brown blur shooting towards me as woods started to animate and not in a good way. No dancing flowers or singing bushes, which would have been odd and  maybe a sign that I was already knocked unconscious and just haven't realized it yet. No it was an animated with let me look at the sheet, no not that one and none of those either. Okay found it, it was the animation of being  surrounded and you are not going to like it. Why couldn't it be the singing birds one or maybe the little dancing blue things animation?

Anyways back to the moment, brown blur and things surrounding me. Whatever the brown blur thing was an unknown at the moment. I couldn't take a risk it was just trying to hug me either, the approach would have been different by the way. No streaking towards the monkey girl, more cute walk up with puppy dog eyes with twinkles and 'Hi yah I want to give you a big hug'. 

So I did what any normal girl that is cute and adorable with a tail would do. Scream and run away? Nope, so not me for one unless whatever it is has a chainsaw and a hockey mask like that person over there does. You are going to have to wait your turn okay? I am sort of busy with some unknowns at the moment. Thumbs up, cool thanks. Faint? Again not me, that and there is sticks all over the place and if I fainted I might fall on one and ow! Close my eyes and tap my heels three times? That only works for girls from Kansas I found out. What is left you ask? Silly question but worth answering .

Out shot a fist as I yelled "Hiyah!" Fist meet brown blur in a squishy sort of way. Think punching a water balloon but without the splat! I heard an "Umph!" before the brown blur brown blurred in the direction where my first was pointing at, which is over there. Back flew the brown blur, crashing through the bushes and out of site. Shoot I wanted to see what I was fighting against to, need to practice my punch pointing or something since I was aiming for the the tree.

From the animation happening around me I heard a voice yell out, "Are you okay Earl?"

"Yeah, I will be right with you. Just give me a moment. Just ate a fist and I am full," I guess Earl answered from where the unknown flew to.

"You know you went to early,  we were all suppose to jump at the same time."

"Yeah I know, I got anxious and everything. Can you guys maybe leave a little for me, maybe a piece of white and dark meat?" I heard Earl answer back.

"Will do Earl. There looks like there is plenty to go around."

"Hey!" I yelled to whatever just said that, "that wasn't nice."

"Yeah. Well. Okay," is all I heard back. Slowly I spun, sort of ready for the next one that is too anxious. The next something that jumps out might even eat a foot, especially if it is the something  that hinted there is 'plenty' of me. There is the proper amount, I tell myself as I imagine dropping an elbow on the something, still a brown blur since I don't know what a something looks like. 'Are you calling me plenty, I will show you plenty!'

 So lost in imagining, I didn't hear the countdown occurring all around me.

'Take this one too!'

((And this! And that! And how about some of whatever this is! I think it is something. Until next time.))

[Catherine]

"One!"

"Wait, what?" I said as I am yanked from my imaginative elbow dropping.

'Now what do you think of calling me plenty! Here is another! HIYAH!'

I look around and can see brown blurs shooting towards me from every direction possible like a box of light bottle rockets. Whatever the somethings are, I am still not sure. All  I know is that I am being monkey jumped at the moment and that wasn't good.

Most would freak out at the overwhelming odds, I mean look at them there are a lot of blurs. Don't ask me to count how many either, I know with a glance there is a lot and that is more than enough. But..... Master taught me well and told me one thing that is keeping me from freaking out at the moment. What was it again? Always remember to put cheese on a grilled cheese sandwich, if you don't you just have toasted bread. No that isn't it. What was it again? Never try to dry your hair in the shower? No but smart, it would be quite a hair raising experience. Hmm..... Never mix... No that isn't it either. What was it again, somethings are blurring towards me and it would defeat the purpose of trying to think about it if I remembered it after.

  * Imaginary snap of fingers *

Got it! He said, I need to clear my throat before I say it, 'Bend don't break little monkey.'

I agree with master on that, I don't like breaking but I can bend with the best of them. But I think what he meant was and I might be taking the words wrong but, go with things and don't always resort to big hammers. Does that sound right? Not sure sometimes.

But his words kept me focused and away from screaming into the woods, never to be seen again all thanks to finding a house made of gingerbread. I know it is out there, I have heard the stories. Two little kids, gingerbread house, nom and witch. Not sure why the kids were so afraid of her to be honest, a little bit of water and the witch screams, 'I am melting' and hello mop. One gingerbread houses sans witch and ready to be nom'd. Which is a law by the way, all gingerbread houses must be eaten to prevent fat birds.

You do care about birds don't you? Yes it might be funny to see their little wings just going and going as they try to get off the ground to no avail. Made even funnier if you tip them over with a foot and they roll around, not saying that I have ever done that either. That was just an example, look what is that over there! Anyways save a bird, eat a gingerbread house.

Okay back to the brown blurs and myself. No time to think, I just need to do something other than just stand here.

*open palm rain of fifty, um no maybe double that to be on the safe side punches! *

Out shoots my hands in different directions; behind me, above me in front snd yes even to the sides. I can feel my hands connecting with somethings sending them shooting off into the woods, hitting whatever was nearby and some not even nearby. But they keep coming and my hands keep flying.

One blur tries to sneak in from above and is meet with a "HIYAH!" and a hand and leaves fall around me moments later as it the something goes rocketing up  through the trees and up and up. Maybe into orbit even, the first something in space. A other blur tries to go for my legs and meets a hand instead, an UMPH could be heard when it hit the ground and kept going, leaving a blur shaped in the ground. I am hoping the mole people don't mind a something.

Another comes from the side hissing and spitting, both blocked by a hand, "WACHA!" Something thought the other something had a good idea and it to was blocked and sent flying with a "WAH!"

Moments later I can feel something blowing against the back of my neck and reach back and grab something, using its momentum to keep it moving pass me. All I could hear was a "No......." as it went flying through the bushes.

As fast as it came the flood of blurs disappeared leaving me breathing a little hard and  still wondering what the somethings were. I could hear them moving, stalking me like some great cat but probably not one. Too small for cats unless I was being stalked by kittens and just thought alone of me punching kittens over and over sends an ick feeling through my body. I know they would all land on their feet,  even if landing meant them smacking into a tree and their little claws sticking into it. I would definitely need to go around and pull them off before the woods are known as the 'kitten  woods' or 'The Forest of the mourning meows', if I am punching kittens that is.

Something is going to slip up, I tell myself and then I will know. 

((While it would be fun to explore kitten woods it would be painful with all of thr scratches ans yellong “I am not a scratching post!!!!))

[Catherine]

All I can hear is the cracking of leaves and twigs, looking around all I see is leaves rustling, branches moving and woods. I know something is out there, a lot of somethings actually. What the something was I just didn't know and if they were kittens I wouldn't be happy. Even if they were feral kittens, those were the worse especially when they pulled out their knives and used words that needed to be bleeped out.  I wouldn't feel as bad but would feel a little bad still, they would still be kittens just bad ones.

SNAP!

Quickly I turn and hope something messed up but again all I see is a couple leaves moving. Another snap to the right of me and again just a moving leaf. This is ridiculous, I mumble to myself, I know whatever something is, is just playing with me now. Tenderizing me in a way, not physically since I would know what the something was then. What with the little hammer and everything.

"No it isn't," I heard from somewhere behind me, followed by a "definitely not" above me, then "okay maybe" somewhere else.

That is when I noticed something, the chattering, there isn't as much of it. Did I scare the somethings with the open fist? Or knock a lot of them unconscious? Or are they like I said, playing with me?

"You know you shouldn't mumble," I heard from behind me.

"Well you somethings shouldn't be hiding either, it is sort of creepy," was my reply back.

In a mocking tone from above I heard, "Ooooo..... Good one."

Quickly I look up as I try to come up with a witty comeback and freeze when I see something on the side of the tree, "Oh you got to be kidding me!"

Standing, sitting or whatever it is called when you are holding onto the side of the tree with all possible holding things. You know somethings have just hands, while other things have tentacles. Well these somethings had paws and was holding onto the side of the tree and looking right at me, "You know I was kidding right?"

Oops forgot to say or describe what I saw, it is just well just. But hanging there, brown with a white strip running down its back was a timber tiger, not a skunk though. The whole stripe thing threw me for a moment but a quick sniff of the air eliminated the possibility of it being a skunk. Thank monkey for that, I really wasn't looking forward to a tomato bath. Especially afterwards, I would be all red! I know my hair is red but after a tomato bath I would be all red, as in every square inch of me. People would ask if I was mad and then the steam would come shooting out of my ears.

"Ppfftt," I said, waving the timber tiger off, oh and I forgot, timber tiger is another word for chipmunk. So that is why I was blowing it off, cute and small. Basically harmless really and was in the wrong place at the wrong time thing. The bush in front of me started to rustle and I looked down. "Hey little guy," I said with a smile as I waved with a hand at the timber tiger standing there. Yeah I know kind of odd but hey it could happen, there isn't a law or regulation or anything saying that there can't be two timber tigers near each other. I mean they are sort of big but maybe they are eating well.

Suddenly there was another snap behind me and I turned my head to see what it was, can you guess. No not a moose. Sort of close really. It was another timber tiger, this one had a small broken branch it is paws.  What the? Okay now this is weird. Maybe it is the timber tiger from the tree, I told myself and quickly looked up. Nope it is still there looking at me.

"You know you three should go hide. There is something out here and I don't want to see you get hurt."

Moments later my eyes shot open more when they all three answer back with,"I think we don't have to worry about that." Then winked at each other. The one with the stick thumping in its hand, while the one on the tree pulled out a little knife and put it into its mouth like a pirate and the last one just gave me a nasty look that said a lot.

They didn't pause, all three timber tigers jumped at me at the same time. Monkey poo.... I am out numbered. I should be worried.

A fist meet the one with the nasty look on its face. Time slowed down as fist meet timber tiger flesh and in an instant it spun around to the top of my hand and grabbed it , "Hiya....what?" Before I could start to try and shake the little guy free I felt the one from behind me land on my shoulders and start to beat me upside of my head with the stick, "Ow. Ow. Ow."

Through the rain of thumping I remembered the timber tiger with the knife, for some odd reason it was taking its sweet time getting through the air at me. I don't know why, maybe the scene called for it I don't know really. Quickly I looked up and saw it getting closer and closer, knife in one paw and everything. I did the most logical thing really, took a step back and let it fly by. Of course I helped it along with a little caring punt, HIYAH and it went flying.

'Monkey lines up for the kick. Will she make it? And....and it's good!!!!!! [insert crowd cheers, screams and maybe even chanting  'Monkey']

"Now who is next?" I growled and I got a real fast answer back, "He is!"

Of course the thumping on my head helped steer my decision really quick. I turned my head to look at the timber tiger and it froze, looked at me and smiled. It's arms up, stick in hand, ready to thump me again.

"Your friend volunteered you to be the first timber tiger in space."

"No he didn't," the timber tiger said as he swung the stick behind its back, trying to hide it.

"I just heard him say it," I answered back.

"Well..... You heard wrong," the timber tiger replied as it took a step back. I could tell it was about to beat feet any moment now.

"You might be right, I was getting beaten on over and over with a stick."

The timber tiger looked nervous for a moment then laughed, "About that, I saw a mosquito and I was trying to swat it."

"Ah ok.." I said nodding, "I hope you got it."

The timber tiger paused as it started to turn around, "Think so..." Then dove off, which would have worked but didn't. All thanks to my monkey girl ninja-like reflexes. SNAG!

"Oh hi," the timber tiger said in my hand, laughing a little, "I think you got the wrong guy. The guy you are looking for went over there." Motioning with his head in a direction not of his own. "You know we all do sort of look alike, I will let you go this time, just don't let it happen again okay?"

I  gave him a smile. "That sounds good," I answered the timber tiger as I looked at him, I could see the other one swallowing a little as it rolled off my hand and fell to the ground.

"In fact....."

In one fluid motion I pulled my hand back, got up one leg and VOOM. The timber tiger went flying, making a beeline to something. What I am not sure though, should have done something calculations and some verifying before but stick hitting head over ruled those.  I hope it didn't hit anyone. What? You heard a old woman got hit in the back of the head by a timber tiger. Well... Um.... Maybe it wasn't the same timber tiger. That is it, not the same one.

*dismissive wave with fingers crossed *

Please not be the same one. Please not be the same one. Please....

"Now about you..."

((Timber tigers are the worst. They have been known to just run up and kick people in the knees just because.))

[Catherine]

The timber tiger froze in mid step and slowly turned its head to look up at me. Did it actually think it could get away? With a growing smile it waved at me and I smiled and waved back. What? It would be rude if I didn't return a hand wave, it took the effort so I must to. It is only but proper. Okay there was that one time that I shouldn't have waved and got mistaken for someone else and found a brief case handcuffed on my wrist. Which didn't really go with what I was wearing at the moment, it was more black suit and tie, possibly a bow tie. A doctor once told me that they were cool before he disappeared. Never got his name and I am not sure what type of Doctor he was either, he told me he was the doctor, coughed and then ran around a corner. I tried to follow but it is kind of hard to follow someone who isn't there.

Oops got off subject, the shouldn't have waved incident, yeah there was confusion and gun pointing. Followed by a eep and then run monkey run. The briefcase didn't look special but the people following me thought otherwise I guess. Stairs, subway, boat, another boat followed by an airplane and then a quick walk, they were still behind me. I even went into the bathroom, you know it isn't nice to follow someone into one of those and thank monkey they didn't follow. But... They were there when I came out.  "Ugh, come on" I told them and waved at them," follow me."

What? I couldn't do anything else. Not like a point and 'Look at that' would have worked on all of them. They were on my butt the whole time, almost like they had a... Wait a minute. I look back and see the red blinking thing on my butt. Why didn't anyone tell me! Quickly I swiped at it and Ow! Why didn't anyone tell me it was back there? Sort of hard to miss and flick it into the woods.

I take a step towards the timber tiger. What did you ask? What happens to the brief case? I threw it into a river, easy way to get the people off my butt.  It was fun to watch them diving into the river to get it.  I even cheered for one or two of them, to be nice. Hey they were going beyond to get it, the suitcase, so a cheer  was deserved.

The sound of a twig breaking called my attention down towards towards the timber tiger. Who was trying to get away yet again, whistling this time. I was a little surprised that time.

Okay sorry about the flash backs. Let me do a real fact  catch up. Okay, I think I got it. Timber tiger, tree  I got this.

I start to talk as I start to look down, "I am so..oh shoot!" Quickly I look around and under and even above stuff. But no timber tiger, I guess I can take off now, but I just know that, that one will be back to haunt me. I just know it.

* Lick imaginary pencil and write note. *

As I start to leave, heading in the proper direction. I hear laughter coming from the woods. Well not all of the woods since that would be eerie, just the woods where the timber tiger might have been hiding. Watching its prey getting away. Vowing something that only timber tigers can vow.

"See you later...." I call out as I leave the clearing, I would be kidding myself if I said something else. "Oh look at the flower." Okay not that.

((Hmmmm look at that. Oh and that and that and that and that and don’t forget that. A lot of that’s to look at until next time.))

[Catherine]

I start at a walk then speed up, always best to start slow unless something is chasing you. Then it is best to start fast and throw things at whatever is chasing you, also consider yelling back at whatever it is, telling it to stop. I would recommend 'Could you stop chasing me please,' or 'Could you chase something else, maybe that person over there.'  Those both are nice and give whatever that is chasing you an option, which is a good idea. You shouldn't make whatever that is chasing you feel bad or neglected. If that happens they go all rage filled and start tearing things down and growling, which isn't good. So think about that the next time you find yourself being chased, yes you don't want that knife wielding maniac to catch you but it has a heart and feelings too.

So I am running, jumping over roots and dodging branches that like to smack you in the face. Like that one! At the last second I dodge a branch that just happen to be swinging out. It wasn't like it was going to surprise me, I mean I did see it bending back and everything. "Ha ha, missed me" I laughed as it swung over my head, "stupid branch." Of course where there is one branch there is more of them, they do that, travel in packs and everything. They also stick up for each other, so when I turned my attention to the one and stuck my tongue out at it another swung out. Catching me right in the stomach with an UMPH!

Going from a full on run to a dead stop hurts, especially since my hands and feet kept going for a moment, origaming into a 'V' shape. I am pretty sure that I had a funny look on my face to. Unfortunately no one took a photo, so no embarrassing photos will be posted on the Internet. What did you say? You have a photo? Let me see, ah yes I remember that. Thank you for letting me see it, I erased it so you would have more room for selfies or cats doing funny things.

Quickly, after catching my breath, I started to pick myself up. I couldn't risk laying there for too long, not with the timber tiger out there. It could jump out at any minute and with me looking down and in a v-shape it would have the distinct advantage. Especially if it managed to get a loop around my legs and head, I would be stuck.

I pushed myself up and WHAP another branch came from behind, catching me in the back of the head. Sending it flying forwards, until a point then wel..... Urp getting sick, came to mind and 'I want to get off this ride' as I spun around the branch. I know I was leaving scratches on the branch as I flew around, trying to stop the spinning. If I didn't the woods were going to be a little messier.m

Spin. Spin. Spin. Didn't I just see that a moment ago? Give me a moment and I will check, ah yes, I did just see it. URP!

*Captain, systems are reaching critical. She is going to URP at any moment and it won't be pretty. Private try maneuver two eighter cookie alpha delta bagel. *

My tail slaps me in the face as I continue to spin around and I hope I don't end up lapping myself because that be..... Um....... Impossible?  It would be nice to have a twin, she could do things that I didn't want to do. Like this stuff, that other stuff and especially spinning around branches. While I enjoyed a banana milkshake. Yum just the thought of one right now yum. Wait no no no, if I urped while thinking of a banana milkshake, I would associate the two and could never drink one again without urping. I can't have that, think of something else like spinach, yuck it is like wet cardboard that urped, or break this cruel cycle.

I don't want to urp this early in an adventure maybe later.

 * performing maneuver two eighter cookie alpha delta bagel sir. *

I squeeze the branch like it has never been squeezed before, smoke rising from my hands as they heat up. When sparks start to shoot out I get scared. "Come on......" I say through gritted teeth, "Come on, monkey doesn't want to urp and neither does that frog over there." I can tell something is happening, not sure what though but was hopping it wasn't that my hands were about to pop off.

One moment I was spinning and the next I was flying up. Maybe a finger caught a knot  breaking the spin or the branch got tired of me spinning around it, something happened and it was free!

Up i flew, not that far though when I meet another branch that spiked me into the ground and hard. It wasn't a light spike either it was more I will spike you so hard that it will be hard!

I like to think the ground shook when I hit it, BOOM! Maybe for a brief moment anything nearby jumped when I hit the ground. All I could do is lay there making sure I had the proper amount of bones. Yeah I think I have the same number of them, I told myself as something climbed up onto me. Okay? Then walked  up my body. Okay? Then looked right into my eyes and all I could do is gulp, looking up into its beady eyes.

This wasn't fair....

((Fair? Fair I laugh at fair. Ha ha and ha. *Thump* Ow. Okay that wasn’t fair.))

[Catherine]

"Hey there little guy," I said trying to laugh, but thanks to the smack down the branch just gave me it came out more like "ha ow ha ow ha ow". I don't recommend doing reverse belly smackers on the ground at all. I mean it sounds fun and everything, jump and splat, but ow. I think every bone in my body and some I don't have are sore. Ow.

So I laid there looking up and the timber tiger looked down at me. The look in its eyes said it all, especially with the fire that burned in them. No longer were they black like they usually were but glowing red, like two balls of lava. For a moment I thought laser beams would be shooting out of them and fry me, I mean every time I have seen red glowing eyes people run, scream and usually fall into nice orderly piles of ash which are usually little mounds or human shaped.  But no beams came, at least not yet, which is good. So I had time.

"So what can I do for you?" I asked, trying to move any part of myself. I think I had a pinky moving a little but nothing else. Even my tail was just laying their unconscious, all of its training didn't help it in the end. Either end really, butt or the tip and everything in between. All I got as an answer was heavy breathing and that was just creepy.

The timber tiger brought a leg up and put a foot on my bottom lip. Pulling it back towards itself and down as it leaned in closer. "Heag vad idn vade nighd!" I try to say to the best of my abilities. All the timber tiger did was laugh once, turn its heads and spit. Wiping its chin before turning back to look at me.

Okay why? Why did I get the one timber tiger that has an attitude?

It just sat there breathing hard, some drool dripping down its chin. Please wipe. Please wipe. I don't want to find out what timber tiger drool tastes like. I am sure it is nice and everything but ick!

Why didn't it brush its teeth? Gargle even, I mean it's breath smells like old nuts.

Closer and closer it leaned in, taking one of its hands and squeezing my nose.

What is it doing? Is this how it communicates? Like morse code with long and short squeezes.  What is it trying to say? One long squeeze making me breath more through my mouth. I can't reach the Boy Scout manual to see!

We just sat there looking and breathing hard for way too long, probably two minutes. I need to do something before it does something with claws th student nice, although I do have a scratch that can't I can't reach. Maybe it could..... no no.

There was only one thing I could think of. It would be painful for the both of us too. But there isn't any other way, I think I packed aspirins. We will find out soon. I closed my eyes and will my head to move. Nothing happened at first and then it lurched forwards cracking the timber tiger in head with a CRACK!

Instantly my hands went to my head, "Ow.......", rolling on the ground for a moment before starting to push myself up. I could see the timber tiger laying there with little stars and nuts spinning around it.

"Sorry about that " I stay stumbling, "I didn't want to do the whole head to head thing but ow!" I motion back towards the timber tiger as it stumbled into the woods, pulling out a bottle of aspirin out of my bag with the other.

"You just stay there okay?"

"Thank you," I said after getting the thumbs up.


((Timber tigers are the worst. If a pack forms you can hear them roaring to each other at night not caring if you are trying to sleep... “I am trying to sleep here !” ROAR))

[Catherine]

I take a couple stumbling steps and brace myself against the tree, popping open the aspirin bottle as my bones become unrattled. If I didn't give them enough time I would make a sound every time I moved and I really didn't need that. Especially if I am trying to be all ninja silent.

Rattle, rattle, rattle.

'Hey, did you just hear that rattling coming from the shadows?'

'Yeah I did, which is kind of strange since there shouldn't be anyone down here. I mean there is the crypt and maybe a skeleton decided to get up and walk around.'

'Hey! I am not a skeleton! Oops, I didn't say anything, just us shadows over here. Go about doing what you are doing and don't mind me as I sneak by.'

'Hey don't you have a battle hammer?'

'Why yes I do? Why?'

'I heard those are good on skeletons that get up and rattle around.'

'I said I am not a skeleton.'

'That is what all skeletons say.'

'Yeah, I should be safe and go say it is hammer time!'

'No......'

See like I said, it is bad to have rattling bones. Especially if you are trying to be silent and maybe deadly. Stop giggling, I am not a fart. I don't smell like one either. It is against the cute and adorable rules.

  * Rule number 24 of the cute and adorable. All cute and adorable will smell like something nice, maybe cotton candy or even lavender, no matter where they are at. Others can stink but it is impossible for the cute and adorable.*

Also the deadly part, I am sort of iffy on. Only in the worse case scenarios should the deadly part be considered. It is just so final and everything. That and deadly can be so messy sometimes. Deadly is just so blah. Why ruin the silent part with it?

*ninja tip by example ninja herb - I am sneaking. I am sneaking. Hey a guard who doesn't see me. I could keep on sneaking but.... Throat slash! Scream. Gurgle and blood splash. Yeah I should have thought this out better... I didn't take into account the screaming or the blood all over the place. How would I have known he would run around?*

See that was a perfect example of ninja herb. He could have kept sneaking by and mission accomplished but nope he just had to do the deadly. I think I pushed it once, I stopped once while I snuck pass a guard and cleaned his ears with a q-tip. They were really dirty and ick. He thanked me later after I tripped an alarm and ran pass him.

Sorry mind wonders sometimes when I am trying to unrattle my bones.

Slowly I push myself off the tree, remembering the warning on the back of the baby aspirin bottle. 'No operating of heavy equipment while under the influence.'  I wasn't planning to anytime soon but the image of babies operating cranes and bulldozers made me laugh. Who would of thought of giving a baby that much power? 'You can't walk yet but up you go, have fun operating the wrecking ball.' Then spin and give the tree a hug, "Thank you for your support in my time of need."

"But...." I spin back around, stumbling just a little thanks to all of the spinning, "it is time for adventure and to find Audokornet." I say throwing a hand up in a pointed pose before running off again.

"Whoops wrong way, meant the other way," I say bringing up a hand to the back of my head as I enter into the little open area again, cheeks red from embarrassment. "The spinning sort of got to me..."

((Turn Away for a moment so I can urp in peace. Please turn away because I am going to turn green and monkey girl don’t look good in green. URP. Until next time.Urp.))

[Catherine]

I keep on running, away from the branches and that last timber tiger, which I hope is okay. I really didn't want to head butt it but I had no choice, it looked like it was serious and I was seriously not moving at the time. Which I am glad has changed, that would suck if moss started to grow all over me and little animals started using me as their homes. Not digging into me of course but living in my armpits and stuff. Which wouldn't be good, once you get a couple slugs and snails in your armpits they are hard to get out. You can try to evict them but that never works. They don't have tongues I think but they stick their tongues out and just sit there and hold little parties. Getting loud at night and never cleaning up, In fact i think I knew someone who had some once and it wasn't pretty. Their armpits smelled because of the garbage and everything. Just don't rent your armpits out to slugs and snails okay? Okay and watch out for  intertoe hedgehogs too, you think that the floor is squeaking but it is actually them.

So running, yeah this is a big tree. I think I would have remember it before taking the trip down the tunnel after taking a foot to the rear from that stupid rabbit. All I remember is a small little sapling, me turning around in mid air as I fell, "I thought you were laaaaaaaattttttttteeeeeeee............." and then rocks, a lot of rocks. I think I have had my daily requirement of them for today and even longer. Hopefully there isn't any side effects for getting hit by too many of them.

I look up for a moment to see the the light dancing through the leaves up above me, quiet beau..... And take a dive when my foot finds a root. Okay maybe it isn't the best idea to look up as I run around a tree, I tell myself as I get up, laughing as I dust myself off. I should have known better really, where there is trees there are roots. Master would shake his head if he found out.

'Look down when you run little monkey girl and not up. Up won't trip you, but down will.'

I nod once, just once though before taking off again. Master always had little bits of information that he shared when I trained with him. Most made you go 'What the?' and made you scratch your head, which I secretly prayed wasn't caused by fleas or poison ivy, both of which are ick. But now after experiencing what I just did and looking back I can nod. Okay there is one that I still haven't figured out at all, something about paper clips and being thrown. Master was really vague on that one but the whole idea of being thrown by a paper clip baffles me. Anyways maybe later I will figure that out, but first. First thing is first, the tree and getting around it.

Hop, skip and into a light jog I go. Hopping over any roots and not looking up no matter how tempted I am to. I dive over the last one and throw my hands up after I land, "TADAH!"

The crowd goes wild with my landing and I look to the judges. They gave to give me good scores on that dive, I didn't fly into anything or crash into the ground. I watch anxiously as the they hold up their score cards; eight, nine, eight, seven. All good so far and I turn my attention to the last judge and...... A two! A two? Was he even watching the same dive. Maybe he was busy doing something else like doing his taxes. I can hear the crowd starting to get loud with boos and hisses. Ghosts? Snakes? Oh my monkey, ghost snakes! I look around hopping there isn't any ghost snakes around, maybe I could talk to the judge and see why he scored me so bad. That might make the ghost snakes happy.

Then I hear it, coming from everywhere but nowhere and even over there, "Hello friend."

((Okay I recognize that last part.  Do you? Until next time.))

[Catherine]

I look around trying to find the source of the voice, it was around here somewhere but where? I don't see anything or anyone.

"Hello friend."

Still the source eludes me, this everywhere but nowhere thing is annoying sometimes. Maybe it is something small? Like a gnome, they are good at hiding. I look around on the ground and pick up my feet. One at a time of course, duh. To see if maybe I stepped on the little guy. But there is nothing, no little gnome hats or anything. A talking mouse or insect? Still not seeing anything and if it was of those they would be singing already.

It is strange really, once something is given the ability to talk, they start singing and dancing. I don't know why, maybe they are really happy or something but everything I have ever seen shows them singing and dancing. No "hey I can talk" now and I wonder why, nope they immediately start belting out la la la's.

"Hello friend."

I look up towards the branches, it could be an owl who wants to be different maybe by answering 'who?' or a freaky pigeon, I have seen one take the tires off a car with its beak just because it could. But as far as I can see there isn't any birds up there, there is that weird looking lizard thingie over there but lizards don't talk. They growl, hiss, spit, snarl, roar and some other things but never talk. Oh and that thing over there but I think I will ignore that, the whole cat with a spike ball on a tail screams 'leave me alone unless you want a headache'

"Hello friend."

Wait could it be, I ask myself and quickly turn to the tree. Could the tree be talking? I look for a mouth, eyes or even ears. Something that says, 'hey I can communicate and be communicated with.' Ears might be hard for a tree though, what with owls and such. No way to clean those out once they get in. Yeah they leave sometimes but they always come back. Once you get an ear hooter, you have one forever I hear. But I am not seeing any ears, that thing up there could be one but I don't see another one so I am going to say no ears. Eyes? Let me see, again sort of the same problems as ears but different. The first time you take an owl or something similar to an eye you sort of don't want to open them anymore. You would have to wear an eye patch afterwards to give your eye time to heal, that is if they can get the owl or whatever out. Looking around I don't see any eye patches, of course the tree could put safety glasses on too. But I would see those laying around.

"Hello friend."

There it is again and I didn't see anything moving so a mouth is out too. Of course if the tree had a mouth it would have the owl and other thing problem sort of. It would open its mouth and in flies an owl, the tree would start to choke on it and everything. The question arises, can you give a tree the Heimlich? Where would you even wrap your arms. Maybe......

I start to look around, I didn't see anything moving maybe it can throw its voice. That way it wouldn't have to worry about choking on owls. It could just throw its voice wherever. A useful talent when you don't want things flying into your mouth.

"Hello friend."

Okay this is getting ridiculous, I tell myself as I look around more. Someone or something keeps on saying hello. What and where is it? I know it is around here somewhere but I have ruled out everything  I think, other than myself getting hit in the head one too many times when I went down the hole and I am suffering from a rock overdose.

"Hello friend."

"Will you cut that out and tell me where you are," I say stomping a foot, not in a mad way or anything. More stomp I am trying to make a point way.

"Up here...."

Without thinking I look up to see who it what it is. I know it is common practice amongst pigeons to get a person's attention before dropping white ick on them, but at this moment I had to know who or what it was. My curiosity was piqued so I look up and see nothing at first, just leaves and shadows.

"Hello friend."

I start to see something slowly appearing from out of the leafy shadows. At first I thought it was a smile, well an upside down one, starting to appear and all I could picture was some strange cat smiling at me. Then other details started to appear under the upside down smile. Details that clearly showed whatever it was, was not a cat. Little circles started to appear as more details showed themselves and I took a step back away from the floating head that looked familiar, but where I didn't know any floating heads, "Uh, hi."

((Okay I think this might be an owl that has learned to ask more than who...))

[Catherine]

I can tell you this, floating heads are freaky. They just float and talk, some I have heard  fly around and nom but how? Do they have little propellers or something that lets them fly around or are they like balloons? Holding all of their hot air in and as they talk , they slowly fall to the ground until they can suck in more hot air.

"Hi my name is...."

"Uh, what is your name? You started to tell me but stopped. Why is your face turning red?"

"Is Bob. I am trying..."

"Trying what? Why do you keep stopping for?"

"To tell....."

"Tell me what? Is there something sneaking up behind me? Is there something on my nose? Do I have a booger? Don't leave me hanging."

See how annoying that would be? Not just the for the full bodied person but for just the head too. It couldn't really hold any good conversations without it laying on the ground. Then it would have to worry about snails crawling into its mouth and that would be disgusting. The head couldn't get off the ground until they got the snails out of its mouth and that would take a lot of spitting. Which would prevent the collection of hot air so all it could do is lay there and let more snails crawl in. Ick! A no win situation other than for the snails. Ick. Just the thought alone is making me want to spit, maybe even urp.

"It has been a while." The floating head said.

"It has?" I asked still looking up at the floating head. It looks familiar with its bald head catching the light from somewhere just right.

"Yes back in the fishing village."

I thought for a moment, "You were there? I would have remembered a floating head." Quickly my hands shot to my mouth, "oh my monkey, Did someone steal your body. Condemning you to a life of holding your breath so no snails get into your mouth."

The floating head laughed, "No."

Slowly I pulled my hands away a little from mouth, "Are you sure? Because I see a definite lack in body at the moment. That and 'No' is exactly what a floating head would say so they wouldn't fall to the ground."

The floating head laughed while slowly shaking its head,  "Yes I am sure I am more than a floating head. In fact the rest of my body agrees with me monkey." At that moment the rest of the floating head's body revealed itself and not holding it either like some headless thingie that holds its head in its arms. Which I guess is good if it needs to look over things. It would just lift its head and whalah. Instant look over a lot more stuff of course the phrase 'I am losing my head becomes quite literal too, which would suck to loose. Also the saying 'I am head over heels for you' would be literal to, especially if you dropped your head by accident and then kicked it.

"Hey, you sort of look like that monk that I meet."

"I hope so, since I am that monk or a pod clone of him!"

My eyes shot open, "pod clone?!?" I look around frantically looking for pods that could clone me, ones that might be hiding in the shadows ready to jump me."

The monk laughed again, "I am just pulling your tail monkey. I am me."

I squinted my eyes a little bit as I laughed, "How did you find me?" Eyes open for any pods to be on the safe side.

((How the ?? Find out next time..))

[Catherine]

"It was kind of easy really," the lurking monk said as he hovered there, even though he was more than a head he still hovered with legs crossed and everything. The only thing he wasn't doing was have his hands up with thumbs and middle fingers touching in some type of meditation pose going ummmmmm,...... Which would have made talking a little harder.

"It was, how?" I ask, my interest piqued which is bad for cats but okay for everyone else.

The monk slowly bobbed up and down in the air just a little as he answered, "the light in the air. The one with the monkey tail in it."

"Light, what light?" I ask, turning around to look up to the sky to look for the light. That would be cool to have one, but it would be a problem to drag it all over. It is good for vigilantes if they use it for good. Maybe give it to law enforcement, so they can use it to call the vigilante. Of course there is phones but eh, lights are where things are going for communication between vigilantes and law enforcement, I think. Of course the vigilante could use it for bad, turning on the light to blind bad guys.

'I am here villain, drop whatever bad things you are doing and give up.' CLICK!

'My eyes! Do you have to point that right at me? I am going to be blind for days. Fine fine here I give up. Just turn the light off.'

That might be it over there hiding behind the trees, no I think that is the sun. Too yellow and bright for a light, well it is a light but not the same type. More big ball of floating gas type of light than anything else. Hmm... A finger goes up and I start to tap my lips. I am not seeing any light, that thing over there is the moon so pfft. That isn't a light, nothing to turn it on or off unless.... Maybe this switch will I have always wondered really.

Flipping switch click over and over. CLICK CLICK CLICK. No, it doesn't do the moon either, someday I am going to figure out what that switch is for. Somewhere really far away a family is sitting there trying to eat, the lone light hanging above the table starts to blink on and off. The kid whimpers, "Mommy I am scared."

"I don't see any light," I start to say and I am cut off by the monk's laugh, "I was only pulling your tail monkey. There is no light."

"Then how?" I ask with a questioning look on my face. The questioning look, one eye closed a light in the 'huh' position.

The monk slowly hovered down from the branch before answering. Still not sure how he is done it, I don't see any strings. "It is simple, wherever there Is strangeness, there is monkey."

"Hey! I am not strange, I am just uniquely unique that is all."

"I did not mean it that way. Look around, these trees weren't like this the other day and now they are. That is what I meant." The monk answered, trying to cover up what he just said. At least trying to....

"Uh huh," I said nodding. Should I tell him what happened? That I sort of freed something and that it probably did this and probably that thing over there too. Maybe he has heard about the Audokornet thing. He might know how to find it or something, which would be good.

"Okay, umm....."

((Now we know how I was found. I just need to hide my tracks better.  Thinking.....))

[Catherine]

"Um?" The monk asked as he lowered closer to the ground but never touched it.

"Well, yeah yes...." I answered back as I turned away a little to try and find the right words other than, "guess what I think I released something that could screw up everything. Then just for fun screw those things up even more. Which I didn't mean to do but I thought I was trying to find cookies and there was two jars. One had a bunch of weird eyes in it while the other which should have had cookies didn't and we'll release this one thing that I think changed bats into other things and might have made these trees really big. Oh and there was a moose back in the tunnel too."

How was I going to explain all of that to the lurking monk without sounding I might have just released something onto the world like um..... Pandora did with that box. Thankfully I found a vase instead of a box.

"Well I sort of, you know back in the tunnel I found a vase. Well two of them and sort of opened them up and...."

The monk swung a hand up, "You already told me what happened. You don't have to tell me again."


"I did? When? I mean I was trying to come up with how I was going to tell you and everything," I paused and looked up, "Can you read my mind?"


The monk laughed, "No I can't read your mind and if I could it might be interesting to see what you are thinking all of the time. A few moments ago you told me, I think you were thinking that you were thinking it but you were actually speaking it out loud."

"What?!? Ergh.... I thought I was set to internal monologue and everything." I paused and dropped my head, "So you heard everything. I think I might have screwed up." For a moment there was silence, then a well worn hand appeared under my chin and gently pushed it up, "Yes, I heard everything and you might have but.... If anyone can fix this, I believe a girl with a tail can fix it."

I sniffed a little, trying to hold back the I am sorry I screwed up tears, "Do you know one? I will go and find her." It wasn't a moment or two before I felt a tapping on my my shoulder and I looked to see who it was. "Oh hey girl," I guess you heard, "I guess we have to look for a girl with a tail to get that whatever it is back into the vase."

The monk cleared his throat and I turned to look at him, "Do you need a cough drop?" "No" he answered, "thank you for offering. But I think you have already found your girl with the tail."

"I have?" I asked sniffing again, again my tail tapped on my shoulder. "Shhh...." I said brushing off my tail, "he is about to tell me where I have meet the girl with a tail." My tail didn't even wait or anything before swinging around in Front of me and motioned down.  "What?" I asked looking down towards where my tail was gesturing and saw my tail attached to my butt. "Oh" I laughed, "I guess I am the girl with the tail huh?"

The monk nodded, "Correct. The little I know about you, I know that you don't give up and even if you get knocked down you get back up."

"I guess..."

"That is a wrong answer," the monk said, "you don't guess, you know you are like that. Didn't you fight something with tentacles and wings and no matter what happened you got back up."

"Yeah, but..." I started to answer.

"There is no but, I saw it with my own eyes. You kept pushing and pushing no matter how hard you were hit. Most would have given up but you didn't. You kept getting up."

"I know you were there, but...."

"But what?" The monk asked.

"I don't know how to find what I released." I answered, shrugging and motioning the I don't know motion.

The monk laughed, "Is that all? Come join me for a moment and we will see what we can find out."

"But shouldn't I be trying to stop it?"

"Where is it?" The monk asked, raising a brow.

"I don't know."

"Then it is best to take a moment. A moment now might save you some trouble later."

"Okay, lead the way ole wise one." I say a little jokingly, just a little though. Too much joking and I wouldn't be taken serious and the current situation was sort of serious.

((Okay now things are getting serious. Monks in trees and no spinning tigers glaring dragons references so something is up. See what is up next time when we find out what monks have under their robes, Okay tmi so we won’t. ))

[Catherine]

The monk nodded once before slowly floating higher and higher, how he was doing this was beyond me. There wasn't any strings or anything to support him in the air and there was no way for a crane to be brought in anyways. Maybe a regular size one could fly in but that is a different type of crane. Maybe he was doing it with magnets, but that is just science there. That would explain some things but other things were still a mystery and unless a refrigerator was nearby I couldn't test the magnet idea. I could just point and yell 'Fridge!' and see if he would fly towards it, since all magnets are attracted to them, but I doubt he would fall for that. What else does that leave other than some ick stuff, one of which I can mark off the list right now since I don't  see any cans of beans.

Up the monk hovered, up to the branch he showed up on and higher. Without turning back, the monk motioned with a hand "Come monkey."

I stood there thinking of how I could follow the monk up to wherever. I could change my form to give me vertical travel, but then I would be naked and yeah no. The woods are a little cool at the moment. That and I would have to tell the monk to wait a second as I climb back down, put my clothes back on and then climb back up. Could try the staff, hold onto it and extend it. I can imagine two things happening and one if the ground was really soft. One the staff would shoot into the ground as it extended, going  deeper and deeper until it knocked a mole person out or went through to the other side of the planet and surprised someone there. Or I would shoot into the sky, a breeze would come and the staff would become unbalanced and 'What a minute, no stop don't hey stop!" and SMACK! Picking tree bark out of my teeth.

Looking up I take a step up close to the tree and switch my imaginary felt fedora adventurer' hat to a imaginary lumberjack one, you know red plaid with the ear thingies. I start to whistle as I place my imaginary axe on my back and grasp the tree, the feel of the bark between my fingers is comforting in a lumberjack way. It has been here for years, okay not really but still, it will be here for years to come too. The mighty umm.... Whatever this tree is.

Up one arm went after another as I climbed the tree, humming 'I am a lumberjack' all the way. Due to copyright things and remembering only those three words of the sing I just hummed those over and over.

"Hey mister squirrel," I say as I passed a branch with a squirrel on it. Pausing just long enough to reach into my bag and pull out a nut. "Here you go, don't eat it all at one time and if you hide it make sure you remember where." I gave the squirrel a smile as it did some squirrel things and gave me the thumbs up, which is hard since I don't think they have thumbs. "See you later."

With bark in hand I climb up and up. "Hey mister whatever you are with sharp claws that doesn't look too friendly. I am not just saying that either, the whole blood dripping out your mouth is sort of... Paints a whole ick, grrr and spit in a not friendly way picture." I reach up for more bark and pause, " Hey, maybe you want to see a dentist about you know this..." I say motioning to my own mouth, "they could give you a friendly smile you know, just saying. Less I will nom you and more hey I am sort of friendly and will chew you and maybe swallow." I give the whatever it is a wave and started hugging tree again.

Up I went,  one hand over the other. I know I just said that in the last paragraph and probably before that too but hey I am climbing and passing branches. I could make it more exciting by saying how the tree is swaying back and forth while little airplanes are flying around, shooting their guns at me. PCHOW! PCHOW! PCHOW! Little tiny bullets go shooting up my back. "Hey, ow!" I say swinging at them with a free hand, feeling like a giant ape. My foot slips and I fall, hitting all the branches as I take the fast way back to the ground. But none of that happens thankfully, it would suck to have to climb all the way back up here again. So yeah I am climbing up, you can go do something else if you like, it looks like the monk is still floating upwards so it is going to be a while.

***

Oh hey you are back and just at the right time too. You missed some interesting things, like that one thing with the laser beam eyes and the other thing that turned things into wood when it looked at them and winked. But we are finally here and I can feel my arms and legs screaming as I reach the branch that I saw the monk float to.

Pulling myself up  I turn back around and look, not down though. Never back down. I had fond memories of being down there and didn't want to ruin the memories.  From here I could see the other trees and expected to see little teddy bears to appear and start yubb nubbing, whatever that is. There is a eagle flying over there and another one over there.  The sky is nice and blue wth just enough clouds, very pretty.

A perfect place for a selfie. The blue sky behind you as the eagles race by. Raaaaa, okay that is a bad eagle call, need to be careful though. Too good of a call and they might answer with talon and beak.

I nod and take in the scene, taking in a deep breath. Soaking in all of the beauty surrounding me, other than that thing down there. Hey there is another eagle, no that is an airplane.

"Come friend and sit."

((Some day I am going to figure out how he floats. Of course personal space and all so twenty questions may be used. Maybe I will start next time, how do you float asked over and over. Until next time...))