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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 290238 times)

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Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9875 on: February 14, 2015, 10:54:20 PM »
Louise,

I know that you like being spanked.  And caned.  And all sorts of other things.

And I know you love to watch me wander around in just my towel.  But if you hide all of my suits again, or break into my office one more time demanding to be 'punished like a bad girl' in the middle of a board meeting, I'm going to lose my job.

And I just can risk that.  Sadly, we are done.

... and give me back my clothes.

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9876 on: February 14, 2015, 11:06:53 PM »
How come I haven't ever seen you in one of those classy suits? It's a shameful allegation that I should have hidden any of them away - you simply seem quite contented to flex your muscles and show off your hard bits when you wish to impress the ladies...

But approach me with a paddle and some good solid rope and I might just let you keep your shirt on while I work you. If you don't maintain some measure of restrained style, then we are through!

Offline DukeJohn

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9877 on: February 16, 2015, 04:46:28 PM »
Dear Louise,

I'm sorry dear, but I'm afraid this will not do. I like you, but I can never look you in the eye due to that peculiar position you always sit in blocking your face. I'm afraid this can't go on anymore.

Regards,

The Duke

Offline Rhedyn

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9878 on: February 18, 2015, 05:05:06 PM »
I'm sorry DukeJohn, truly I am, but my heart can't take any more of these gentleman's duels you insist on challenging people to. The barista in the coffee shop, the customer service fellow and now the postman..? It's not his fault he has to bring bills to the house, there's no need to take out the glove and slap him across the face every time he drops one off.

~Rhed


Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9879 on: February 18, 2015, 09:03:24 PM »
You know I love rainbows.  I love Skittles, I love all sorts of colors!

That's what first drew me to you, your colorful nature, colorful clothing, and outlandish hair.  Little did I realize that was all you cared about.  So what if I don't like to wear clothes?  So what if I keep my hair short and don't dye it?

But apparently nothing could hold your attention if it didn't cross the color spectrum.  The fact that you spent 10 hours of every day coloring your hair, 3 picking out bright outfits, and the rest hunting for pretty baubles didn't help either.

Someone else is going to have to help you make sure the carpet matches the curtains, and someone else can deal with the blue balls... which also didn't interest you.

Goodbye.

KazBeast

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9880 on: February 18, 2015, 10:12:50 PM »
Blue?

Did I hear you say Blue Bunny dear Kazyth?

Oh.

Blue... balls.

And from another girl too. Oh yes! I see it all quite clearly now. For the first time in YEARS actually.

You wouldn't turn Blue for me... but for Rhedyn - oh yes! You'd turn those wild, untamable things of yours a new tint for HER. Never for me! NEVER!

It's over Kazyth! No chocolaty goodness for you EVER again!

Not even at Easter!


Offline RedPhoenix

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9881 on: February 18, 2015, 11:43:20 PM »
*opens chocolate bunny*

*eats up*

Oh.

*mutters* goddamnit Red how many relationships must end this way before you stop?!?!

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9882 on: February 19, 2015, 04:13:33 AM »
Credit where credit's due, errrrrr, sweetheart: you tried to make this work.  You stayed quiet so I didn't have to listen to your whiny voice.  You seemed, at least outwardly, content to wear a bag over your head with a photo of me stapled to the front of it so I didn't have to see your stupid face.  You were a pretty good sport about the whole "sleeping on the couch so I can have the entire bed to myself" thing.  You were refreshingly quiet about how...how copiously I cheated on you. You laughed along with me that time you fell over and seriously hurt yourself and cried along with me when the season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians ended.  You accepted early on that I had far more important things to do than learn your name.  I'm not sure whether you let me win every game we played or you're just an idiot but I don't really mind either way.  You accepted that I didn't want to hear your stupid opinions about stuff unless I gave the secret signal (voluntarily committing myself to an asylum)

Realistically, you did everything I could want given your limited intellect and mediocre social skills.

So why am I dumping you?  Well, let me explain.  It just...it just feels like the magic has gone.  That spark, you know?  Things have just become sort of routine.  You hardly ever cry yourself to sleep any more.  You barely even cringe when I come near you.  You don't try to dodge when I throw things at your head and I can't even remember the last time you objected to our weekly games of "see how many used condoms we can fit in your mouth".  We're stuck in a rut, sweets, and I deserve more than that.  I'm only young and I can't be stuck with someone who I've abused in to passivity, I deserve someone who still clings to hope not someone who has abandoned it.  I'm sure you can see that.

Anyhoo.  I've changed the locks so I guess you should go...I dunno, somewhere else.  No need to come collect your stuff, I sold it.

I hope we can still be friends,

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9883 on: February 19, 2015, 10:38:10 AM »
Dear Kythia,

The holes in your pants do not count as holes for sexual use, and as thus, you may at this point stop rubbing the fact that you have far more holes than I do, therefore, are more of a woman than me.  I am well aware that your ultimate scheme is to put me in a position of which I have no choice but to become a man and get some sort of cosmetic operation done, so that, your desire for heterosexuality can be somehow fulfilled, with also the option of appearing on a Jerry Springer like television show somewhere down the line as you pretend to be shocked by the realization that I was once a woman.

I mean, if at some point you want to meet me as me, and not as someone severely lacking in spaces of which a penis  could become entangled in! (Honestly, you don't have a penis, why is this a valid metric?!)  I might welcome you with open arms (No promises on open vagina) but until then, you can take you run down pants and find someone else to force massive life changes upon!

Not yours,

For serious,  Cayenne~

Offline Remiel

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9884 on: February 20, 2015, 02:40:10 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

I've had it with the tildes!  It's ~ ~ ~ this and ~ ~ ~ that.   I can't take it any more!~

OH GOD NOW I'M DOING IT TOO. SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?!?~

Help me~~~

~~~

~

Remiel

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9885 on: February 20, 2015, 06:27:43 AM »
I remember when we broke up the first time
Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cos, like
We hadn't seen each other in a month
When you said you needed space.
Then you come around again and say
"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."
Remember how that lasted for a day?
I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."

We called it off again last night
But this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together,
We are never ever ever getting back together,
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Like, ever...

I'm really gonna miss you picking fights
And me falling for it screaming that I'm right
And you would hide away and find your peace of mind
With some indie record that's much cooler than mine

Y called me up again tonight
But this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Ooh, yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Oh oh oh

I used to think that we were forever ever
And I used to say, "Never say never..."
Uggg... so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you,"
And I'm like... "I just... I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
We are never getting back together. Like, ever"

No!

We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

We, ooh, getting back together, ohhh,
We, ooh, getting back together

You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

If I ever develop time travel I'm going to go back in time and sell this song to someone.  If you ever hear this song recorded by someone who's not me then consider that to be 100% unshakable proof that I have a functioning time machine.

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9886 on: February 20, 2015, 02:23:58 PM »
Kythia: I think we should see other people.
Kythia: What?  What does that even mean?  We see other people every day.  I was in KFC earlier, must have seen like two dozen people at once.
Kythia: No, it means we should break up.
Kythia: Like, cut myself in half?  I...I'm pretty certain I don't think that.
Kythia: As a couple I mean
Kythia: You know we're not a couple, right?  There's just one of us.
Kythia: Our relationship. 
Kythia: You think I should abandon my relationship with myself?  Why?  How?  Why?  What the fuck is wrong with you?  Me?  Whoever.
Kythia: This isn't really going the way I rehearsed it.
Kythia: Honestly it doesn't seem to make any sense.  Are you trying to dump yourself?
Kythia: Kinda.  Tell the truth,K-dawg, I was pretty bored.
Kythia: Well, hey.  We know what to do when we're bored right?  Special alone time?  Rhymes with "basturbate"?  Or, I guess, if we're splitting up with us then that's off the cards?
Kythia: Fuck no.  We can be friends with benefits.
Kythia: Honestly I've lost track of this conversation.
Kythia: Don't worry about it sweets.  Tea ell dee are: you're dumped but nothing will change.
Kythia: O....K...

Offline Rapt

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9887 on: February 20, 2015, 02:35:12 PM »
My darlin I cannot break up with you...I am having your illegitimate child.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9888 on: February 21, 2015, 07:08:55 AM »
Dear Rapt,

I thought you were going to break up with Kythia! I mean, you went off with that intention! You went to the whole, breakup back alley or whatever and you came back saying you're having her baby and that is somehow a good reason to stay with someone!

Obviously you're putting the needs of a person you've never met, of whom, is literally leaching off of you over the wants, the desires, the NEEDS, of me!  No offense to babies, of whom, are generally cute, pinchable, and for the first long while, just a source of mess and sleepless nights ..but..  If what I've seen from television says anything, they don't particularly care who raises them, until of course, it turns out that it was someone else entirely that spawned them, and they become sentimental and go on a journey to discover their seed or egg barriers.

Anyway, don't bother inviting me into your NOT OVER relationship! I'm a one spouse girl! I put the mono in monogamy! ..uh.. or I would, if I had such a thing!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!

MADE ME FEEL ALL AWKWARD!

WELL GUESS WHAT!

THE RELATIONSHIP YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON ENDING WITH ME IS NOW OVER!

WHOSE AWKWARD NOW!?

Most Sincerely, Cayenne~

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9889 on: February 21, 2015, 11:26:38 AM »
My dearest Cayenne,

After watching South Park, I have learned that you suffer from Gingervitis and therefore have no soul. I cannot be with someone who lacks a soul.

No love,

~Imp

Offline Bedroom Lazarus

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9890 on: February 22, 2015, 09:21:17 PM »
Dearest imp, what happened to that beautiful red head with a smile that could melt the hearts of men?  Why are you now dressed up like your in morning about the late passing of Edgar Allen Poe.  Seriously, put some freakin color into yourself again.  Until then I'm going to shack up with a circus clown.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9891 on: February 22, 2015, 10:45:03 PM »
What?!

You'd rather be with a circus clown than me? I could've been a clown for you! *Wails* I would have gone there! Alright, maybe not so far into the multi-hued rainbow colored creepiness of most circus clowns, but a blue one... a blue one with SPARKLES. Damn it. A blue one that would have stalked you in the middle of the night with a rapid, crazed gleam in my eye... and a... and a... lethal lapel flower that shoots poison or magic or something.

Anyway whatever!

I'm running off with the strong man... and the midget... and the lady that spins in the air holding onto a rope with her teeth. Really, no one can compete with her. NO ONE.

BBS-Circus Time Gal

Online AmberStarfire

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9892 on: February 23, 2015, 01:22:42 PM »
You'll think I'm a jerk for saying so. Whatever.

Every time I see you, I want to eat your chocolate.

I can't help it that your wrapper is so shiny, and I know there is a delectable chocolate bunny wrapped within.

All I can think about is eating shards of chocolate and no. I just can't bring myself to do it. It would be a shame to eat you, and yet, your bunny is made of chocolate. I just know it.

I must leave! It is pure coincidence that I found a place that does really good Baileys cheesecake. I'll be thinking of you while I'm enjoying that. :D

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9893 on: February 23, 2015, 01:46:44 PM »
I'm sitting in my doll house waiting for you but your always off eating cheesecake.
You don't even bring me a slice.
I'm sorry I just don't think I can compete with that delicious dessert. So bye.

Offline DukeJohn

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9894 on: February 27, 2015, 08:38:18 PM »
Dear Dolly,

Ever since the pupils left your eyes, and ever since you left a trail of blood when you left my house, things haven't been the same. I don't know what it is, but I have a hard time connecting to someone who resembles a malicious glass doll. Some people like that kind of thing, but I'm not sure I do. Nothing personal against you. Maybe one day you'll find happiness with a decapitated Ken doll or something. We can be friends, just not as close as we used to be (as long as you don't kill me, I've started to get the feeling that maybe you want to, I would look into your eyes to try and see what you were thinking, but that's become a more difficult process)

Regards,

The Duke

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9895 on: February 27, 2015, 08:49:03 PM »
Dear duke

Its not blood it was jelly, yes strawberry jelly. I was going to Make you a delicious pb&j sandwich to eat cause I'm nice like that. I did not go on a killing spree and I most certainly would not want to kill you. Since you claim such hurtful acusations I will have to leave and eat this delicious sandwich by myself.

Goodbye , don't worry its not me standing over your bed,
Love dolly

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9896 on: February 27, 2015, 08:58:55 PM »
Dolly, I'm so sorry but we need to breakup. Your constant secrecy of what goes on in that dollhouse, night after night. Are you having an affair? I sometimes hear what sounds like others in there, but you refuse to let me in and I'm tired of it. You can keep your dollhouse and whatever/whoever is in there, I'm done.

K

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9897 on: February 28, 2015, 01:42:20 AM »
Dear K

 Yo want to come in . fine. come in mind the jelly on the floor like I said early I just make a lot of sandwiches, and the noises they were not  screams. I was watching horror marathons. I just didn't want to interrupt your beauty sleep. I tried to stay in bed with you but  dolly's don't sleep. So see I was just trying to be considerate. No theirs not a guy tied to a rack in my house where there you get this craziness. Umm on second though come here ...Just because we broke up doesn't mean we cant play.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9898 on: February 28, 2015, 08:48:21 AM »
Dear Dolly,

You were so snuggly before, in your murderous way,
For every enemy I had, you made them pay,
You were my dolly by day, and my vengeance by night,
Proving that a dozen horseheads, can make anyone feel fright~


That is to say, before you started murdering people for shits and giggles! I mean, it was all cool and heroic that the guy who cut in line in front of me was found chopped in two, or that person who spilled their soda on my coat drowned in his own juices - cuz yanno, justice was served and such!  I mean, you were like that Dexter show, sure you are kinda evil, but somewhere inside of you is the heart of a kinda good evil person!

I  mean, I was pretty confused at first! Paranoid even when these random people started getting offed! What had they done to me? I mean, were they talking bad behind my back? Did they try to hack my computer!? Did they not like my status on facebook?  Unfortunately, it was none of these crimes!  They were just random people!

I just -- can't go on being with someone who just spends so much energy to kill people all willy nilly.  I mean, if there are points where you could be spending that time and attention on me, and instead you are off getting your 'homicidal fix' well, obviously you love that more than you love me, and avenging the wrongs against me.

So in, I think we're just going to have to go our own ways!  Cuz yanno, I am on the side of justice, and as romantic and hot as it might seem to be screwing the enemy of justice, it really isn't a relationship.

Good luck with your mass murderings, Cayenne~

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9899 on: February 28, 2015, 11:38:20 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

I know when we started our photo-shooting, we'd be traveling all over the world taking intimate photos for our magazine. Looking through the camera at you, I fell in love with you and while I know you reassure me your husband doesn't know, and that you'll leave him for me, it's been five years, and we're still hiding in hotels and being secretive. I told you last year that you had to make a decision, either him or me. You haven't decided so I must now make the decision and break up with you. You are a stunning beauty not only in form, but in heart and you will always be in mine. But I can no longer be "the other guy." I have to move on.

Good bye and good luck to you.

K