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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 347660 times)

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Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9875 on: March 08, 2015, 05:24:40 PM »
Dearest Kythia,

Remember when we were sitting around and shooting the shit (In no literal fashion) and you'd said something rude and I responded with the term "Fuck you" of which we decided to take literally, and then from that, continued down this sweat mess of a trail that had more scissoring than a 1990's Tim Burton film about a man with literal scissors for hands and not in a manner of which you press and grind your genitals with another person for easiest friction as told to us by the book of pornography?

Don't worry, I'm sure I have the realplayer file somewhere - honestly though, I told you that format was going no where and that it wasn't "At any point going to make a comeback, really, they were the first, and they needed to be regarded better" Questionable evidence aside, I rather need to wrangle this little note to you before it turns into some ridiculously long 737 word explanation of which one might have to turn their podcast off in order to gather (Also in case your wondering, that might come to 3,369 letters not counting spaces and 4,132 with).

The thing is, for a while now I've become suspicious that you have moved on - I mean, at first it started out that you would be busy on friday nights, and quiet interested in dating apps, and very little of that interest for me to also make an account so that, the universe or whatever lazily coded algorithm could pair us together once more! No, you were content that you try it out, and that I stop hounding you about every little thing like - you know, condoms in our shared bed, and where that ring came from that currently sits on your "I'm in the process of being united with the person I truly love, please note that the girl beside me is not also sporting this, and draw the conclusions she is obviously not catching"

For whatever reason, I decided to let that go, I mean, you getting into sports and things, you getting that new friend that you'd talk to on the phone while we were at dinner, or that you were too tired for sex, unless you mean foot massage, and then please continue. Eventually when we'd walk together, you'd not introduce me as "This is the chick I'm currently rubbing my genitals with" to "This is the roommate who won't listen when I tell her I'm getting married soon, and that our relationship was never really much of a thing outside of me killing time while my profile gathered views on OK Cupid"

So anyway, I decided to take this time while you are busy packing boxes to move in with your fiance, I've begun to think its time for a break. I know, to me it seems rather rash, and coming out of left field (I know you've becoming super into sports, so I thought you might like that reference) but I feel like we've been moving in separate directions a little bit, and we might need some time to find ourselves! Me, most likely at the cat shelter, attempting to find companionship with something that will just put a virus on my brain and force me to make bad choices both of how many more felines should be living with me, but also in all other aspects of my life, and you, getting married and moving on.

So yeah, like I said, before it gets too long winded, I should say that it has been fulfilling for me, you know, the kind of life affirming thing that makes you want to spend the rest of your years with a person - and for your, apparently that there are better things on the horizon someplace else with genders of lower protruding genitals. 

So good luck to you!

And to me.

Mostly me.

I worry about me.

Sincerely, Cayenne~


Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9876 on: March 08, 2015, 06:19:13 PM »
You know what I'm sick of, Cayenne?  I mean, apart from Adobe Flashplayer, (thinking its all that, fucking piece of shit, wheres the the respect for the classics). 

It's you, hanging out the passenger side of your best friend's ride and trying to holler at me.  I've been quite clear, a scrub - also known as a buster - is the kind of gal who can't get no love from me.  You think you're fly, always talking about what you want and sitting on your broke ass.  I'm talking to you, Cayenne.  You ain't got no car and you're walking, you live at home with your mamma.  I mean, Christ, you have a shortie but you don't show love.  I'm looking like class and you're looking like trash and you know that you cannot approach me.  Your game is kinda weak.

So no, Cayenne, I don't want your number.  And no, I don't want to give you mine (I appreciate its a little late for that, but what I mean is that I've deleted yours and changed mine, I just phrased it badly).

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9877 on: March 08, 2015, 06:50:54 PM »
Dear Kythia,

I don't know why you are still sending me messages, as we are broken up, and thus, any ties we once had completely disapear and we are like strangers in the night of whom hold irrational anger at each other. 

That being said, I thought I would clear some stuff up for you.

1) The world is dying because we're pumping fossil fuels into the atmosphere, who'd have thought the true dinosaur attack that kills us all comes in the form of turning them into the gogo juice for our cars and slowly choking ourselves to death on the noxious fumes because a bunch of stuck up women like yourself aren't into carpool/drive by courting rituals. 

2) I own a car, I choose to walk! I don't like driving, I don't understand why everyone needs to have their own car, and why the government thinks its cool to hand over control of the insurance industry that is required by law in order to operate said car to the private industry of whom is not out to serve customers, but yanno, figuratively rape them of their income and as much as possible, abandon them in their times of need.

3) I aen't no buster.  I don't chase down ghosts, I don't share co-star role on a childrens cartoon with a girl named babs of whom we share last names but, are somehow not related enough to be considered worth while.

Alright, now that that is out of the way, I will say that this is the part where I take the high road, and don't call out your "I stole my jeans off a bear mauling victim - Oxyclean does work magic on gore stains" and whatnot and point out that we continue to be over, and I hope you have your "Fun little life that is basically meaningless since I am the center of the universe, and the further you decide to rotate from me, the colder and more lonely and less planetoid like you're going to seem (Looking at you, Mrs. Pluto)

So to conclude.

1) We are through.
2) You are an echo terrorist.
3) You steal your fashion from corpses.

Cayenne~

P.S.

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
I still think you are cool~

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9878 on: March 15, 2015, 10:45:50 PM »
Dear Cayenne,

So there we were, at the Jurassic Amusement Park having so much fun poking dinosaurs with sticks and taking selfies in front of a bunch of  stegosaurus to show our non-adventurous friends.

Funny how Kythia kept texting you through it all. Funny how you kept texting her back. Even funnier is how I peeked at your conversations. And... I know you said you didn't care, but there was that hint of desperation in your typing that said you did.

So, I'm sorry for the 6 pounds of raw hamburger I hid in your backpack when we next went to visit the T-Rexs. And it really hurt me to lock you inside the containment gate. Really. My heart was breaking the whole time I lowered down that massive gate and clicked the locks. Really! I even cried a little.

But you know... I'm a one woman gal. And you're now like some little dino snack, so I guess it's time for me to find a new adventure on some hard to reach island in the middle of nowhere with a new girl... one without a phone!


Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9879 on: March 16, 2015, 09:30:27 AM »
Dear Blue Bunny.

This probably isn't something I should be sharing with the world but.. honestly I do recall you trying to murder me at least once.

I don't know that I was ever super into this idea of you wearing a skin tight suit of flexible aluminium foil, and every occurrence of sex began with you laying splayed on the bed screaming "TEAR OFF THE FOIL AND EAT ME" I mean, I have some unique fetishes myself, but honestly, everyday isn't your special day where it's all about you and your specific, and kind of creepy at times needs.   I mean, I don't know that you've realized how incredibly sweaty you get while wearing this body suit of unbreathable material - and of course - you've been hot boxing all day makes all things much more ...lets call it potent.

Not to mention (But to mention anyway), you talking over the whole 'eating' process saying how you'll be going right to my hips and obviously be back tomorrow because of the addictive properties of chocolate (Of which, you are kind of not - regardless of skin colour).

So anyway, if you ever come out of your shell (Literally, just stop wearing that thing), give me a ring.

Keeping her options open, Cayenne~

Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9880 on: March 16, 2015, 09:52:41 AM »
Cayenne,

Your obsession with the tilde has gone too far. I could tolerate the custom rims on the car. I could understand the tattoos. And I could look beyond the need to vocally add the word "tilde" at the back of every sentence you uttered; just to stay in line with your written word.
But the moment you decided to try and brand me with a hot, tilde-shaped poker, you went too far. You know I wanted an infinity sign instead, and you just callously disregarded it.

We're done. And you can take the cat with you. She's not been the same since you shaved her anyway.

Yours nevermore,
Bob A. Nonimity

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9881 on: March 29, 2015, 08:46:37 PM »
I don't get it, Renegade Vile.  What did you think was going to happen when I regained my eyesight?

Obviously you're dumped.  I mean...obviously.

Offline SpiralSpider

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9882 on: April 01, 2015, 11:46:52 PM »
You've been plotting against me so, of course we can't stay together.  ::)

Offline Rubicon

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9883 on: April 02, 2015, 09:25:47 PM »
Look... look... it's... you're wonderful. You are.

And it has been wonderful. Every moment. Every second. Every thought.

But... see....

...now I know you're a Princess Jellyfish fan, and that is awesome, but as I know you know out of necessity whenever I see you I must freeze until you move out of my range of vision. It's a protective reflex. Just....

No no. This post must suffice. I have way too much to get done to be in stunned Otaku mode. Goodbye forever.

Offline CutiebyNight

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9884 on: April 14, 2015, 11:25:18 PM »
Darling, it won't work out between us.

You're a Lord, I'm an unapproved.

Love isn't meant for people such as you and I!

We are from two different worlds!

I guess... this is... goodbye! ~prances away in melodramatic fashion~

Offline Raef

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9885 on: April 16, 2015, 02:52:24 PM »
Sorry dood! This bromance ends now! I cant believe you ate the last piece of pizza in the fridge! Gah!

Offline Angelic Kitten

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9886 on: April 19, 2015, 07:30:28 PM »
Raef,

I'm sorry... losing the keys to the handcuffs was the last straw... I'm afraid I gotta tell you it's over.

Offline Raef

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9887 on: April 20, 2015, 01:42:24 AM »
Wait what? You cant break up with me! I'm breaking up with you! I'm tired of having to pick up your toys after you, woman! :P and put the batteries back in the TV remote if you borrow them at least! sheeesh!

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9888 on: April 23, 2015, 04:00:28 PM »
Why won't you let me see the top of your head, Raef?  Why?  What are you hiding up there?  It's freaking me the fuck out, that's what its doing.  Like, why would you choose an appearance that only showed part of your body?  Weird, if you ask me.  Don't, like, don't truncate part of yourself.  It makes you look shifty.  Like there's some sort of weird growth up there you're hoping noone will notice.

Well. I have Raef, I have.  And as someone passionately devoted t showing every last part of someone's head in their forum avatar I can't be with you any longer.  I have a reputation to uphold.

Offline Raef

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9889 on: April 23, 2015, 04:07:52 PM »
Well now! This is rich coming from Miss "Have-long-flowing-blond-hair-but-no-head-at-all" Kythia! I say! *huffs irritably*

Did non of those precious seconds I gave you, mean a thing? *sobs but mans the frig up* I wont cry for you!

I'm done! You don't break up with me...I...dump...your...well formed, shapely and might I add, hawt ass!

Offline Angelic Kitten

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9890 on: April 24, 2015, 07:32:44 AM »
My god Raef, I cant stand you anymore.

I cant be dating anyone that spends more time in the bathroom than me.  That's just a little too Metro for me.

Online AmberStarfire

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9891 on: April 24, 2015, 07:39:27 AM »
I'm allergic to cats, angelic or not. I just can't take the sneezing anymore, I feel like my nose is about to drop off.

I'm sorry Angelic Kitten, but it is not meant to be!

Offline seekeroftruth22

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9892 on: April 24, 2015, 11:50:45 AM »
 *hugs starfire and kisses her forehead* im sorry Nalla, we cannot be together, im moving to Ireland and you belong here. please forgive me

Offline Raef

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9893 on: April 24, 2015, 03:59:14 PM »
Doood! What the heck man! You drank my last guinness! This bromance is totes over! *Storms out*

Offline seekeroftruth22

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9894 on: April 24, 2015, 06:04:03 PM »
 *calls out after him* that's what you get for not doing the dishes when it was your turn!

Offline Merry Gentry

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9895 on: April 26, 2015, 08:55:43 PM »
We really don't know each other... sorry!

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9896 on: April 26, 2015, 08:58:04 PM »
You could do so much better than me baby. I just can't hold you back any longer.

Offline Merry Gentry

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9897 on: April 26, 2015, 09:01:39 PM »
You're quite Insatiable, and I am just exhausted by you! 

Offline Angelic Kitten

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9898 on: April 28, 2015, 12:55:29 PM »
My god, it's always me me me me me... Can't you think of anyone besides yourself for just a moment?

It's over... over i tell you.. .I can't stand to be...oh... wait... Sorry bout that, I dont seem to know you at all, though you do have a striking resemblance.

So much so that i can't even contemplate starting, so yeah, it's over before we start i'm afraid.

Offline Mikem

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9899 on: April 28, 2015, 02:07:53 PM »
Angelic I'm sorry. It's not that I don't like you, it's just...you're a kitten. It just can't work, I mean literally. You're another species and tiny and fragile and cute. You're too cute and adorable to be with seriously, every time I see you I just want to snuggle your wittle face. I need a woman.

But really, it's not you, it's me. I'd still love it if we could stay friends. I'll keep doing that butt scratching thing you love so much.