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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 340162 times)

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Offline Bedroom Lazarus

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9875 on: February 22, 2015, 09:21:17 PM »
Dearest imp, what happened to that beautiful red head with a smile that could melt the hearts of men?  Why are you now dressed up like your in morning about the late passing of Edgar Allen Poe.  Seriously, put some freakin color into yourself again.  Until then I'm going to shack up with a circus clown.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9876 on: February 22, 2015, 10:45:03 PM »
What?!

You'd rather be with a circus clown than me? I could've been a clown for you! *Wails* I would have gone there! Alright, maybe not so far into the multi-hued rainbow colored creepiness of most circus clowns, but a blue one... a blue one with SPARKLES. Damn it. A blue one that would have stalked you in the middle of the night with a rapid, crazed gleam in my eye... and a... and a... lethal lapel flower that shoots poison or magic or something.

Anyway whatever!

I'm running off with the strong man... and the midget... and the lady that spins in the air holding onto a rope with her teeth. Really, no one can compete with her. NO ONE.

BBS-Circus Time Gal

Online AmberStarfire

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9877 on: February 23, 2015, 01:22:42 PM »
You'll think I'm a jerk for saying so. Whatever.

Every time I see you, I want to eat your chocolate.

I can't help it that your wrapper is so shiny, and I know there is a delectable chocolate bunny wrapped within.

All I can think about is eating shards of chocolate and no. I just can't bring myself to do it. It would be a shame to eat you, and yet, your bunny is made of chocolate. I just know it.

I must leave! It is pure coincidence that I found a place that does really good Baileys cheesecake. I'll be thinking of you while I'm enjoying that. :D

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9878 on: February 23, 2015, 01:46:44 PM »
I'm sitting in my doll house waiting for you but your always off eating cheesecake.
You don't even bring me a slice.
I'm sorry I just don't think I can compete with that delicious dessert. So bye.

Offline DukeJohn

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9879 on: February 27, 2015, 08:38:18 PM »
Dear Dolly,

Ever since the pupils left your eyes, and ever since you left a trail of blood when you left my house, things haven't been the same. I don't know what it is, but I have a hard time connecting to someone who resembles a malicious glass doll. Some people like that kind of thing, but I'm not sure I do. Nothing personal against you. Maybe one day you'll find happiness with a decapitated Ken doll or something. We can be friends, just not as close as we used to be (as long as you don't kill me, I've started to get the feeling that maybe you want to, I would look into your eyes to try and see what you were thinking, but that's become a more difficult process)

Regards,

The Duke

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9880 on: February 27, 2015, 08:49:03 PM »
Dear duke

Its not blood it was jelly, yes strawberry jelly. I was going to Make you a delicious pb&j sandwich to eat cause I'm nice like that. I did not go on a killing spree and I most certainly would not want to kill you. Since you claim such hurtful acusations I will have to leave and eat this delicious sandwich by myself.

Goodbye , don't worry its not me standing over your bed,
Love dolly

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9881 on: February 27, 2015, 08:58:55 PM »
Dolly, I'm so sorry but we need to breakup. Your constant secrecy of what goes on in that dollhouse, night after night. Are you having an affair? I sometimes hear what sounds like others in there, but you refuse to let me in and I'm tired of it. You can keep your dollhouse and whatever/whoever is in there, I'm done.

K

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9882 on: February 28, 2015, 01:42:20 AM »
Dear K

 Yo want to come in . fine. come in mind the jelly on the floor like I said early I just make a lot of sandwiches, and the noises they were not  screams. I was watching horror marathons. I just didn't want to interrupt your beauty sleep. I tried to stay in bed with you but  dolly's don't sleep. So see I was just trying to be considerate. No theirs not a guy tied to a rack in my house where there you get this craziness. Umm on second though come here ...Just because we broke up doesn't mean we cant play.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9883 on: February 28, 2015, 08:48:21 AM »
Dear Dolly,

You were so snuggly before, in your murderous way,
For every enemy I had, you made them pay,
You were my dolly by day, and my vengeance by night,
Proving that a dozen horseheads, can make anyone feel fright~


That is to say, before you started murdering people for shits and giggles! I mean, it was all cool and heroic that the guy who cut in line in front of me was found chopped in two, or that person who spilled their soda on my coat drowned in his own juices - cuz yanno, justice was served and such!  I mean, you were like that Dexter show, sure you are kinda evil, but somewhere inside of you is the heart of a kinda good evil person!

I  mean, I was pretty confused at first! Paranoid even when these random people started getting offed! What had they done to me? I mean, were they talking bad behind my back? Did they try to hack my computer!? Did they not like my status on facebook?  Unfortunately, it was none of these crimes!  They were just random people!

I just -- can't go on being with someone who just spends so much energy to kill people all willy nilly.  I mean, if there are points where you could be spending that time and attention on me, and instead you are off getting your 'homicidal fix' well, obviously you love that more than you love me, and avenging the wrongs against me.

So in, I think we're just going to have to go our own ways!  Cuz yanno, I am on the side of justice, and as romantic and hot as it might seem to be screwing the enemy of justice, it really isn't a relationship.

Good luck with your mass murderings, Cayenne~

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9884 on: February 28, 2015, 11:38:20 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

I know when we started our photo-shooting, we'd be traveling all over the world taking intimate photos for our magazine. Looking through the camera at you, I fell in love with you and while I know you reassure me your husband doesn't know, and that you'll leave him for me, it's been five years, and we're still hiding in hotels and being secretive. I told you last year that you had to make a decision, either him or me. You haven't decided so I must now make the decision and break up with you. You are a stunning beauty not only in form, but in heart and you will always be in mine. But I can no longer be "the other guy." I have to move on.

Good bye and good luck to you.

K

Offline EmyKat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9885 on: March 01, 2015, 02:43:27 AM »
Dear K,

You really had me going when I thought what we had was real. I truly believed that I had met the one. It was a fail, to no avail. Am I another victim of the Bad Boys Club? I see the way you dress when you go out with your "business partners" and I know that you see other women. I can smell their perfume on all of your clothing! Just be honest with me. I just can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, I'm leaving you.

~Emy

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9886 on: March 02, 2015, 10:33:09 PM »
Dear EmyKat,

I suppose you think you're hot stuff! Joining the elite club of people of whom I've kicked to the curb!  Well, let me tell you - I'd appreciate you moving out of that space sooner than later seeing as you currently occupy the space I have to put my garbage for pickup and as much as you might be looking for someone new, dumpster diving is probably too far to fall from the likes of my divinity!

I mean, think of all the great people you could date having been let go by me, yanno, other than me - seeing as that whole thing is over - but a long list of celebrities, and other people who are less than me are now at least temporarily within your grasp!  It's not forever though, so you really got to strike while the iron is hot - but don't wait too long, since yanno, whose to say that my next relationship doesn't end at any moment and you become old news and the next hottest thing hits the market (Aside from myself, of whom, gets first dibs of whateves).

So yeah, good luck out there!

Sincerely, Cayenne~

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9887 on: March 03, 2015, 01:10:25 PM »
Cayenne -

Yea so like, I'm not into a commitment right now? Sex was fun, you're hot! But I dunno, I met this chick at the pool in my building. Remember that lifeguard who was looking at me. You were all like jealous and s---t.  Whatev.

Later,

Oh hey what's your sis up to?

K

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9888 on: March 03, 2015, 01:40:20 PM »
Dear K

Your awesome, but you keep bringing different girls in here all the time. You stay up all night, and you don't even invite me. I need sleep or at least an invitation so bye.

Online Nowherewoman

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9889 on: March 03, 2015, 01:41:16 PM »
Dear Dolly:


Sorry, lover, but look at it this way: I'm helping you live up to your name.


Abandoned.  Again.

Offline Barbarian

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9890 on: March 06, 2015, 02:25:37 PM »
Dear Nowherewoman,

I was glad to meet you. But you're just not the right one for me. I enjoyed the short time we shared, you're a wonderful cook and you're even better in bed. But I can't be with you anymore. I just don't love you. Hope you're not mad at me. Goodbye...

Take care

B.

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9891 on: March 06, 2015, 02:37:05 PM »
Dear Barbarian

we first met when you came into town and pillaged and raped the people there. You took me with you back to your camp those were some fun times, but since then your always gone pillaging and raping. I'm left here. So unless you plan on taking me with you next time I'm afraid this is over.

dolly

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9892 on: March 07, 2015, 11:25:03 AM »
<texting>

Sup babe, dolly is getting suspicious. Need to break it off for a while. Gimme a few months ill be in touch.

<send text>


Oh wait... oh CRAP!


<New text>

haha was just kidding... hope you're well hon? See you later tonight will bring roses.

<send text>

Offline colerie1974

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9893 on: March 07, 2015, 02:11:43 PM »
Sweet lover...it's not you, it's me...I just need some Cole time...time to grow and figure out what I want in life. Please don't hate me for wanting to have some me time.

Offline Barbarian

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9894 on: March 08, 2015, 12:21:43 AM »
Dear colerie,

Just what is wrong with you? We have been together for some time and it was great. I used to love the way you sat on my lap and kiss me. But seriously, all you think is fuck and sex and have fun. Who's gonna do the housework? The dishes, the laundry, cooking, clean-up? Me? Yeah sure...

It's over. Bye.

B.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9895 on: March 08, 2015, 10:15:24 AM »
Dearest Barbarian (If that's what you really are!)

Not to play into societies stereotyping, but when I originally thought of a barbarian, it was all yanno, Conan the Austrian guy who works out a lot and could probably win some Mister Universe competitions in the mid to later 1900's or yanno, samoan former wrestler, or maybe like.. this guy.



I mean like, something about being able to wear what he would use as sleeves as a dress seems somehow appealing, and cost saving, since he probably rocks the guns out at any opportunity.  I mean, not that you don't seem, or don't go around doing barbarian like activities, it just seems like you're kinda well dressed for the whole thing - I mean where is your animal skins and whatnot? You're wearing these super decorated things, with your phallic hats and whatnot!



I know it seems pretty shallow of me to let someone go for how they dress, in retrospect to purely wrong views perpetrated by the media but -- I'm just a girl - a girl with a dream and yanno, I am fully intent upon living that dream, even if I have to run a casting call for it!

So yeah, good luck with your actual pillaging and whatnot~  If you ever sack my city, be sure to drop by and say hello~

Sincerely, Cayenne~

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9896 on: March 08, 2015, 04:44:28 PM »
So, Cayenne.  I know you're not a sports fan but unfortunately everything I have to say involves sports metaphors.  I'll explain as I go along, try to keep up.

Many team sports organise their teams in to what we call "leagues".  This is a grouping of teams of a similar skill level at their sport, it ensures that teams play appropriate opposition, with me?  Generally we call the leagues containing the more skillful teams the "higher" leagues and those with less adept sportsmen the "lower" leagues.  Clearly one would expect a team from a higher league to win in a game against one from a lower league.  Using that, can you work out what I mean when I say I am "out of your league"?  Basically, I intend to convey that I am in a higher "league" than yourself when it comes to desirability as a partner.  This is largely an attractiveness issue, but I don't want you to overlook your dubious dress sense either when analysing your performance.

Moving on to boxing, bouts - which is the name for a fight between two boxers - are arranged by weight class.  This is a proxy for muscle mass, realistically.  It ensures that a relatively unmuscled/lithe fighter does not get drawn against a considerably more muscled fighter, as they would not be able to fairly compete.  This has given us the phrase "punching above your weight", used to imply that someone is taking on a challenge for which they are inadequately adept.  So if I were to say you were "punching above your weight" in attempting to be my girlfriend, I would be essentially saying that your combination of traits that make you sexually desirable is inferior to my own - again, this is largely to do with physical beauty but the weird smell that permeates the air around you does certainly have a part to play.

Are you with me so far?  We're going to move on to baseball.

Baseball is played on a diamond, each of the four corners is known as a "base".  The object is to complete a circuit of these bases - known as a "home run" - prior to the opposing team managing to get the ball.  In brief.  These visuals have led to a very long-standing tendency to refer to progressive stages of sexual contact in baseball terms.  The specifics vary, but generally a "home run" is full sex while reaching the lower bases - numbered first, second and third respectively - are less "extreme" one might say.  Petting, for example, or manual stimulation of the genitals.  In this case precisely what action is assigned to each base isn't strictly relevant - all sources agree that sex is a "home run"  and that is what I reached with the overwhelming majority of your friends.  Not to flog a dead horse, but it cannot have escaped your notice that they are, unanimously, more attractive than you and lack most if not all of your annoying turns of phrase.

Finally, when one says one is "playing for the other team" then, in terms of sexual dynamics, one is generally referring to having a sexual preference for members of the opposite sex to the person one is addressing - if I were to say (which I am) that I was playing for the other team to you I would be stating that I, now at least, preferred males.  Ironically this is also related to your physical appearance - I am disgusted by the sight of you to the extent that I have become somewhat repelled by naked females in general.  While that doesn't actually relate to your irritating whiny voice - I can usually bear to hear females speak - your voice is without a doubt irritating and whiny.

I hope you followed all of that, because realistically it conveys most of the information I need to give you, when appropriately combined.

In summation:  You are quite ugly whereas I am not (I'm out of your league) and your attempts to keep me in a romantic relationship with you were doomed to failure from the off (you were punching above your weight).  I've been fucking your friends (this is the "home run" from earlier) behind your back but now I've decided I like cock well enough to have that as an exclusive genital preference (I'm playing for the other team) and as such the inevitable end of our time together has arrived.

Any questions?

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9897 on: March 08, 2015, 05:24:40 PM »
Dearest Kythia,

Remember when we were sitting around and shooting the shit (In no literal fashion) and you'd said something rude and I responded with the term "Fuck you" of which we decided to take literally, and then from that, continued down this sweat mess of a trail that had more scissoring than a 1990's Tim Burton film about a man with literal scissors for hands and not in a manner of which you press and grind your genitals with another person for easiest friction as told to us by the book of pornography?

Don't worry, I'm sure I have the realplayer file somewhere - honestly though, I told you that format was going no where and that it wasn't "At any point going to make a comeback, really, they were the first, and they needed to be regarded better" Questionable evidence aside, I rather need to wrangle this little note to you before it turns into some ridiculously long 737 word explanation of which one might have to turn their podcast off in order to gather (Also in case your wondering, that might come to 3,369 letters not counting spaces and 4,132 with).

The thing is, for a while now I've become suspicious that you have moved on - I mean, at first it started out that you would be busy on friday nights, and quiet interested in dating apps, and very little of that interest for me to also make an account so that, the universe or whatever lazily coded algorithm could pair us together once more! No, you were content that you try it out, and that I stop hounding you about every little thing like - you know, condoms in our shared bed, and where that ring came from that currently sits on your "I'm in the process of being united with the person I truly love, please note that the girl beside me is not also sporting this, and draw the conclusions she is obviously not catching"

For whatever reason, I decided to let that go, I mean, you getting into sports and things, you getting that new friend that you'd talk to on the phone while we were at dinner, or that you were too tired for sex, unless you mean foot massage, and then please continue. Eventually when we'd walk together, you'd not introduce me as "This is the chick I'm currently rubbing my genitals with" to "This is the roommate who won't listen when I tell her I'm getting married soon, and that our relationship was never really much of a thing outside of me killing time while my profile gathered views on OK Cupid"

So anyway, I decided to take this time while you are busy packing boxes to move in with your fiance, I've begun to think its time for a break. I know, to me it seems rather rash, and coming out of left field (I know you've becoming super into sports, so I thought you might like that reference) but I feel like we've been moving in separate directions a little bit, and we might need some time to find ourselves! Me, most likely at the cat shelter, attempting to find companionship with something that will just put a virus on my brain and force me to make bad choices both of how many more felines should be living with me, but also in all other aspects of my life, and you, getting married and moving on.

So yeah, like I said, before it gets too long winded, I should say that it has been fulfilling for me, you know, the kind of life affirming thing that makes you want to spend the rest of your years with a person - and for your, apparently that there are better things on the horizon someplace else with genders of lower protruding genitals. 

So good luck to you!

And to me.

Mostly me.

I worry about me.

Sincerely, Cayenne~


Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9898 on: March 08, 2015, 06:19:13 PM »
You know what I'm sick of, Cayenne?  I mean, apart from Adobe Flashplayer, (thinking its all that, fucking piece of shit, wheres the the respect for the classics). 

It's you, hanging out the passenger side of your best friend's ride and trying to holler at me.  I've been quite clear, a scrub - also known as a buster - is the kind of gal who can't get no love from me.  You think you're fly, always talking about what you want and sitting on your broke ass.  I'm talking to you, Cayenne.  You ain't got no car and you're walking, you live at home with your mamma.  I mean, Christ, you have a shortie but you don't show love.  I'm looking like class and you're looking like trash and you know that you cannot approach me.  Your game is kinda weak.

So no, Cayenne, I don't want your number.  And no, I don't want to give you mine (I appreciate its a little late for that, but what I mean is that I've deleted yours and changed mine, I just phrased it badly).

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9899 on: March 08, 2015, 06:50:54 PM »
Dear Kythia,

I don't know why you are still sending me messages, as we are broken up, and thus, any ties we once had completely disapear and we are like strangers in the night of whom hold irrational anger at each other. 

That being said, I thought I would clear some stuff up for you.

1) The world is dying because we're pumping fossil fuels into the atmosphere, who'd have thought the true dinosaur attack that kills us all comes in the form of turning them into the gogo juice for our cars and slowly choking ourselves to death on the noxious fumes because a bunch of stuck up women like yourself aren't into carpool/drive by courting rituals. 

2) I own a car, I choose to walk! I don't like driving, I don't understand why everyone needs to have their own car, and why the government thinks its cool to hand over control of the insurance industry that is required by law in order to operate said car to the private industry of whom is not out to serve customers, but yanno, figuratively rape them of their income and as much as possible, abandon them in their times of need.

3) I aen't no buster.  I don't chase down ghosts, I don't share co-star role on a childrens cartoon with a girl named babs of whom we share last names but, are somehow not related enough to be considered worth while.

Alright, now that that is out of the way, I will say that this is the part where I take the high road, and don't call out your "I stole my jeans off a bear mauling victim - Oxyclean does work magic on gore stains" and whatnot and point out that we continue to be over, and I hope you have your "Fun little life that is basically meaningless since I am the center of the universe, and the further you decide to rotate from me, the colder and more lonely and less planetoid like you're going to seem (Looking at you, Mrs. Pluto)

So to conclude.

1) We are through.
2) You are an echo terrorist.
3) You steal your fashion from corpses.

Cayenne~

P.S.

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
I still think you are cool~