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The Elliquian Herald & Post
Issue 74 (Autumn) ~ August thru October 2017

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 333233 times)

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Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9850 on: February 10, 2015, 10:43:41 AM »
Kekec.

You are the stoic type. I am overly emotional. I set the bed on fire, you didn't blink. I brought in those traveling circus performers, you didn't bother to get up from the tv and say hello. I parade around in nothing but shopping bags and rope... and does that get your your attentions?! Nope!

What does a girl have to do? Just tell me!

Wait. Wha? You want five, subservient wives.

B'ah!!!



Offline TaintedAndDelish

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9851 on: February 10, 2015, 06:52:30 PM »

God fucking dammit Blue, you've misplaced my roll of electrical tape yet again!? How many times have I told you not to touch my fucking tape! Thanks to you, I have no way of posting kinky nudies of myself in drag with a little piece of tape over my throbbing schwang to satisfy censorship requirements in several Asian countries.

This sucks... you are so done!

Ps. I want all of my tape back - nipple X's too.


Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9852 on: February 12, 2015, 10:15:48 AM »
Okay! Okay! Okay! *rips off tape and muffles a yelp*

Take your stinkin' tape back! But I want my blue angora sweater set back then!

OMG! You stretched it out! You ruined it Tainted!

We are sooo over and you owe me, that was my favorite one!


Offline Livrainbows

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9853 on: February 12, 2015, 10:40:06 AM »
This relationship is the polar opposite to a roll of tape. It's short and we won't stick together.

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9854 on: February 14, 2015, 09:55:36 PM »
Liv... my darling, my heart.

When we started dating I was really into that corset you always wore.  Until I realized that it never comes off.  NEVER.

I suppose I should have been suspicious when I saw all of those Febreeze crates, but enough is enough.  The smell follows you everywhere, and the fabric is starting to grow... things.

I've already called the CDC, maybe they can get you the help you need.

I'm gone.

KazBeast

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9855 on: February 14, 2015, 10:10:04 PM »
FOR GOODNESS SAKE KAZYTH! Put on some gosh darn clothes!

People think I dress this way because I'm kinky, but you know the truth! I hide my face because I can't take one more day of you strutting around in nothing but the skimpy towel.

Grocery store... little towel. Gas station... little towel. Mother's house... little towel and that old lady is getting far too excited I tell you!

I'm done Kazyth! Flaunt that hot bod all you want, but I'm outta here! And look out, you're not the only one that can give a little eye candy, babe!!


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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9856 on: February 14, 2015, 10:16:56 PM »
I'm sorry that I have to shatter your heart at the end of Valentine's day.  But between you and me we knew it had to end when I forgot what the safe word was and you had to become bondage Vader because the zipper on the back of the mask got stuck.  Not to mention where that broom handle broke off, that was really damn unfortunate.

Anyway i'm sorry, but your damaged goods now.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9857 on: February 14, 2015, 10:21:38 PM »
It was all good and fun. And naughty. But then that collar came off.. and you know, the thrill kind of left. I mean, here you were like a regular guy and all... and the goodly man, the godly man with the high ideals, where did he go? The one that was so much fun to torment and tease and push into doing all those kinky things?

*sighs* Call me when you want to meet up in the confessional darling!

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9858 on: February 14, 2015, 10:25:26 PM »
I'm sorry that I stole your mask for my snowman he needed a head, and well I wanted to see your pretty face. The way you flipped out though I guess I should have asked first. Goodbye, I'll be around if you want to help me build a new head for my snowman or something.

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9859 on: February 14, 2015, 10:29:31 PM »
The crying blood thing started out pretty awesome.  You know the sort of things that I am in to.

But the pattering around when I'm trying to sleep?  The singing children in the walls?  And the bloody footprints everywhere?

I just really can't take it anymore.  I need my beauty sleep, and I need to be able to resell this house eventually.

I've got an exorcist here with me now, and I'll box up your stuff for you.

I'm keeping the dollhouse though.

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9860 on: February 14, 2015, 10:50:00 PM »
To invert a subtitle out of the opera Siegfried: "If you don't show me the meaning of a real drubbing spanking I will break up with you and do without your help, for I must get that cane today!"  :D

*glares at the Kazbeast's crotch and arms*

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9861 on: February 14, 2015, 10:54:20 PM »
Louise,

I know that you like being spanked.  And caned.  And all sorts of other things.

And I know you love to watch me wander around in just my towel.  But if you hide all of my suits again, or break into my office one more time demanding to be 'punished like a bad girl' in the middle of a board meeting, I'm going to lose my job.

And I just can risk that.  Sadly, we are done.

... and give me back my clothes.

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9862 on: February 14, 2015, 11:06:53 PM »
How come I haven't ever seen you in one of those classy suits? It's a shameful allegation that I should have hidden any of them away - you simply seem quite contented to flex your muscles and show off your hard bits when you wish to impress the ladies...

But approach me with a paddle and some good solid rope and I might just let you keep your shirt on while I work you. If you don't maintain some measure of restrained style, then we are through!

Offline DukeJohn

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9863 on: February 16, 2015, 04:46:28 PM »
Dear Louise,

I'm sorry dear, but I'm afraid this will not do. I like you, but I can never look you in the eye due to that peculiar position you always sit in blocking your face. I'm afraid this can't go on anymore.

Regards,

The Duke

Offline Rhedyn

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9864 on: February 18, 2015, 05:05:06 PM »
I'm sorry DukeJohn, truly I am, but my heart can't take any more of these gentleman's duels you insist on challenging people to. The barista in the coffee shop, the customer service fellow and now the postman..? It's not his fault he has to bring bills to the house, there's no need to take out the glove and slap him across the face every time he drops one off.

~Rhed


Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9865 on: February 18, 2015, 09:03:24 PM »
You know I love rainbows.  I love Skittles, I love all sorts of colors!

That's what first drew me to you, your colorful nature, colorful clothing, and outlandish hair.  Little did I realize that was all you cared about.  So what if I don't like to wear clothes?  So what if I keep my hair short and don't dye it?

But apparently nothing could hold your attention if it didn't cross the color spectrum.  The fact that you spent 10 hours of every day coloring your hair, 3 picking out bright outfits, and the rest hunting for pretty baubles didn't help either.

Someone else is going to have to help you make sure the carpet matches the curtains, and someone else can deal with the blue balls... which also didn't interest you.

Goodbye.

KazBeast

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9866 on: February 18, 2015, 10:12:50 PM »
Blue?

Did I hear you say Blue Bunny dear Kazyth?

Oh.

Blue... balls.

And from another girl too. Oh yes! I see it all quite clearly now. For the first time in YEARS actually.

You wouldn't turn Blue for me... but for Rhedyn - oh yes! You'd turn those wild, untamable things of yours a new tint for HER. Never for me! NEVER!

It's over Kazyth! No chocolaty goodness for you EVER again!

Not even at Easter!


Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9867 on: February 19, 2015, 04:13:33 AM »
Credit where credit's due, errrrrr, sweetheart: you tried to make this work.  You stayed quiet so I didn't have to listen to your whiny voice.  You seemed, at least outwardly, content to wear a bag over your head with a photo of me stapled to the front of it so I didn't have to see your stupid face.  You were a pretty good sport about the whole "sleeping on the couch so I can have the entire bed to myself" thing.  You were refreshingly quiet about how...how copiously I cheated on you. You laughed along with me that time you fell over and seriously hurt yourself and cried along with me when the season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians ended.  You accepted early on that I had far more important things to do than learn your name.  I'm not sure whether you let me win every game we played or you're just an idiot but I don't really mind either way.  You accepted that I didn't want to hear your stupid opinions about stuff unless I gave the secret signal (voluntarily committing myself to an asylum)

Realistically, you did everything I could want given your limited intellect and mediocre social skills.

So why am I dumping you?  Well, let me explain.  It just...it just feels like the magic has gone.  That spark, you know?  Things have just become sort of routine.  You hardly ever cry yourself to sleep any more.  You barely even cringe when I come near you.  You don't try to dodge when I throw things at your head and I can't even remember the last time you objected to our weekly games of "see how many used condoms we can fit in your mouth".  We're stuck in a rut, sweets, and I deserve more than that.  I'm only young and I can't be stuck with someone who I've abused in to passivity, I deserve someone who still clings to hope not someone who has abandoned it.  I'm sure you can see that.

Anyhoo.  I've changed the locks so I guess you should go...I dunno, somewhere else.  No need to come collect your stuff, I sold it.

I hope we can still be friends,

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9868 on: February 19, 2015, 10:38:10 AM »
Dear Kythia,

The holes in your pants do not count as holes for sexual use, and as thus, you may at this point stop rubbing the fact that you have far more holes than I do, therefore, are more of a woman than me.  I am well aware that your ultimate scheme is to put me in a position of which I have no choice but to become a man and get some sort of cosmetic operation done, so that, your desire for heterosexuality can be somehow fulfilled, with also the option of appearing on a Jerry Springer like television show somewhere down the line as you pretend to be shocked by the realization that I was once a woman.

I mean, if at some point you want to meet me as me, and not as someone severely lacking in spaces of which a penis  could become entangled in! (Honestly, you don't have a penis, why is this a valid metric?!)  I might welcome you with open arms (No promises on open vagina) but until then, you can take you run down pants and find someone else to force massive life changes upon!

Not yours,

For serious,  Cayenne~

Online Remiel

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9869 on: February 20, 2015, 02:40:10 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

I've had it with the tildes!  It's ~ ~ ~ this and ~ ~ ~ that.   I can't take it any more!~

OH GOD NOW I'M DOING IT TOO. SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?!?~

Help me~~~

~~~

~

Remiel

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9870 on: February 20, 2015, 06:27:43 AM »
I remember when we broke up the first time
Saying, "This is it, I've had enough," 'cos, like
We hadn't seen each other in a month
When you said you needed space.
Then you come around again and say
"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."
Remember how that lasted for a day?
I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."

We called it off again last night
But this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We are never ever ever getting back together,
We are never ever ever getting back together,
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Like, ever...

I'm really gonna miss you picking fights
And me falling for it screaming that I'm right
And you would hide away and find your peace of mind
With some indie record that's much cooler than mine

Y called me up again tonight
But this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you

We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Ooh, yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Oh oh oh

I used to think that we were forever ever
And I used to say, "Never say never..."
Uggg... so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you,"
And I'm like... "I just... I mean this is exhausting, you know, like,
We are never getting back together. Like, ever"

No!

We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

We, ooh, getting back together, ohhh,
We, ooh, getting back together

You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

If I ever develop time travel I'm going to go back in time and sell this song to someone.  If you ever hear this song recorded by someone who's not me then consider that to be 100% unshakable proof that I have a functioning time machine.

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9871 on: February 20, 2015, 02:23:58 PM »
Kythia: I think we should see other people.
Kythia: What?  What does that even mean?  We see other people every day.  I was in KFC earlier, must have seen like two dozen people at once.
Kythia: No, it means we should break up.
Kythia: Like, cut myself in half?  I...I'm pretty certain I don't think that.
Kythia: As a couple I mean
Kythia: You know we're not a couple, right?  There's just one of us.
Kythia: Our relationship. 
Kythia: You think I should abandon my relationship with myself?  Why?  How?  Why?  What the fuck is wrong with you?  Me?  Whoever.
Kythia: This isn't really going the way I rehearsed it.
Kythia: Honestly it doesn't seem to make any sense.  Are you trying to dump yourself?
Kythia: Kinda.  Tell the truth,K-dawg, I was pretty bored.
Kythia: Well, hey.  We know what to do when we're bored right?  Special alone time?  Rhymes with "basturbate"?  Or, I guess, if we're splitting up with us then that's off the cards?
Kythia: Fuck no.  We can be friends with benefits.
Kythia: Honestly I've lost track of this conversation.
Kythia: Don't worry about it sweets.  Tea ell dee are: you're dumped but nothing will change.
Kythia: O....K...

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9872 on: February 20, 2015, 02:35:12 PM »
My darlin I cannot break up with you...I am having your illegitimate child.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9873 on: February 21, 2015, 07:08:55 AM »
Dear Rapt,

I thought you were going to break up with Kythia! I mean, you went off with that intention! You went to the whole, breakup back alley or whatever and you came back saying you're having her baby and that is somehow a good reason to stay with someone!

Obviously you're putting the needs of a person you've never met, of whom, is literally leaching off of you over the wants, the desires, the NEEDS, of me!  No offense to babies, of whom, are generally cute, pinchable, and for the first long while, just a source of mess and sleepless nights ..but..  If what I've seen from television says anything, they don't particularly care who raises them, until of course, it turns out that it was someone else entirely that spawned them, and they become sentimental and go on a journey to discover their seed or egg barriers.

Anyway, don't bother inviting me into your NOT OVER relationship! I'm a one spouse girl! I put the mono in monogamy! ..uh.. or I would, if I had such a thing!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!

MADE ME FEEL ALL AWKWARD!

WELL GUESS WHAT!

THE RELATIONSHIP YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON ENDING WITH ME IS NOW OVER!

WHOSE AWKWARD NOW!?

Most Sincerely, Cayenne~

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9874 on: February 21, 2015, 11:26:38 AM »
My dearest Cayenne,

After watching South Park, I have learned that you suffer from Gingervitis and therefore have no soul. I cannot be with someone who lacks a soul.

No love,

~Imp