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The Elliquian Herald & Post
Issue 74 (Autumn) ~ August thru October 2017

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 340667 times)

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Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9825 on: December 13, 2014, 07:40:48 AM »
Didn't...

*peers closely*

I'm pretty sure I broke up with you already, Boatman.  Why are you in my house? 

Offline kckolbe

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9826 on: December 13, 2014, 07:46:30 AM »
EVERY TIME I buy you nice clothes you come home looking like this.  My clothing budget is spent and I just can't keep doing this.

Offline Nowherewoman

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9827 on: December 13, 2014, 11:26:38 AM »
Dice say 'you lose'. Ksrrybainao.


At least I THINK that's what they say...

Offline Noir Lace

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9828 on: December 14, 2014, 04:07:56 PM »
sweetheart, you have a "v" instead of a "p."
I just can't deal.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9829 on: December 14, 2014, 04:38:01 PM »
Dear NL,

I simply didn't want to break up with your enticing underwear.
But, the heart-rending rules of this game say I have to bin you.
And apparently I cannot have one without the other.

So, sorry, but you both have to go.

Regretfully,

B

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9830 on: December 14, 2014, 05:23:09 PM »
Boatman,

You don't remember me do you?

We've been married for a few years now, but it's rather, all been leading up to this moment.

Remember when you worked for that software company, and worked on that small MMO? You moved up through the ranks from game tester to lead designer.  How you had all these "IDEAS" for making the game better, and you know what? You certainly had one idea.

RUINING MY DAMN LIFE.

That's right, you piece of crap.

You nerfed my class.

You took everything I loved, and you said it was overpowered, and you nerfed it.

Oh, I know, we promised each other our hearts, we made all these "Vows" but let me tell you, you piece of garbage my heart was already gone! Yeah, maybe you should have nerfed my ability to FAKE IT FOR SO MANY YEARS, BECAUSE BOOM, I'M THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AND I THINK YOU ARE BILE BENEATH THE SHOES OF SOCIETY.

So yeah, I've burned the house down.

So yeah, I've sunk your boat.

So yeah, I've let all your computers cozy up to a giant magnet that was strong enough to pull the fillings out of the teeth of the people three doors over.

So yeah, I guess I could consider your happy little life a little OP, so you know, since I got the "ideas" from you, I decided maybe YOUR LIFE needed nerfing!

So go ahead! With your now WEAK ASS BUILD, because I canceled the insurance, I even leaked all your private data and if your phone is ringing why you read this you'll know that it's your boss FIRING YOUR ASS.

What's that? You think this is crazy? That it was just some game?

Well -- I hoped you liked playing my game, my game of life! (Trademark hasbro I think)

Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow at couples counselling.

Or whatever.

Cayenne~
« Last Edit: December 14, 2014, 05:25:54 PM by Cayenne »

Offline Scott

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9831 on: December 15, 2014, 03:18:21 PM »
Cayenne I'm breaking up with you because as long as we've been together and after all the promises you made to me, you're never going to leave your husband. I know you wrecked his life, but you're still going to counseling with him? It's not what you've been telling me, but I guess your actions speak louder than your promises. 

Offline Noir Lace

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9832 on: December 15, 2014, 06:39:25 PM »
Scott, after the mesmerisation of your glorious abs wore off, I kinda realized what a snot face you are.
Later, bro.

Offline Nowherewoman

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9833 on: December 15, 2014, 09:17:41 PM »
My lovely Noir:


For the longest time, I was content to watch you touch yourself. Smooth, gentle hands tracing soft, subtle curves; a tweak here, a dip there- true heaven!

But after a while- especially after that sort of floor show- I wanted to play, too. You, however, were always too lost in your narcissistic self-exploration. Dammit, I want to touch and get touched!

I'm going to a movie. When I get back, be dressed. And be gone.


NW

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9834 on: December 15, 2014, 09:39:28 PM »
To my once dear Nowherewoman, (Or No where woman or Now here woman)

It pains me to say that you will be denied my presence in your life from this point forth.  Yes, even as I'm writing this, and you, not having read it, are already being denied me.  I know this will come as a crushing blow to that thing you call your existence, as I, the bright shining star in your otherwise great by most peoples standards, except my own, which are higher, loftier, betterly, perhaps life-thing you have going on.

I mean, I myself could hardly imagine a world without me, but rest easy in the fact that I continue to exist, and the world is not without me, just you are without me, in the direct way that we were, at the very beginning of this letter, but not, as of the beginning of the paragraph - and no, reading this backwards doesn't put us back together.

I hope you, somehow find a way to live on, is what I suppose I should say, but a person can only be so strong and of course, there is only one of me of whom, I am left to assume is the strongest that ever was, in a beautiful, charming, perfect kind of way.  So I can wish that your days not be so dim that your eyes suffer, and you require thicker glasses!

Anyway, I know I'd told myself I'd keep this short, but somehow, I couldn't let myself be so cruel as to deny you at least enough words to quilt a blanket to wrap yourself in during what will most likely be many long and cold nights without me.   Please, I know you cannot, as it is impossible, to find it in your heart to blame me for leaving you, but should you try very hard, know that this was also difficult for me, as I awoke only moments ago with this notion, and it nearly occupied my thoughts for an entire minute.

Here is to you, from me, wishing you the best - well, let us be realistic.  The second best. Alright, maybe top ten, in your future endeavours.

Cayenne~

Offline Nowherewoman

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9835 on: December 23, 2014, 10:31:59 PM »
Red:


Tying...er, wrapping you up for the holidays was hella fun. You were right up at the top of my naughty list, and I loved it. But now its time for the unwrapping, and all you can say is 'no, don't take it off!' That's not nice at all.


I'm attaching some postage to your package, and shipping you North.  Enjoy the trip.


NW

Offline Knightshadow

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9836 on: December 24, 2014, 01:41:20 PM »
It's not me, it's you.
I need you to find a way to express yourself. Away from me, of course.
I need you to speak your mind and shout from the rooftops of the world; just not on my rooftop or my planet.
You need to spread your wings and branch out. Hope you don't plummet to your death...on my walkway.
Please put down the kitty and just leave.
Stop crying.
Save it for the next dumb bastard that buys the shit you're selling.

Buh bye.

Offline Koyume

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9837 on: December 24, 2014, 01:47:20 PM »
Dear Knightshadow,

I know we've had a good run and I told you we'd be together til the end of our days and all that, but sometimes the magic just... dies, you know? We were good for each other when we were younger and I thought that amazing bod was all I'd ever need or want, but I'm older now and I just need something... different. Look, it's not you and it's definitely not your fault, it's just me and whatever weirdness I'm going through, alright. You'll always be dear to me, and all those precious moments we shared will remain in my heart forever. But now, it's time to say goodbye.

I'm sorry,
Koyume

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9838 on: January 05, 2015, 05:40:45 PM »
You're naked and afraid, lost in the woods!
Nobody else knows,  are you gone for good?
You thought it might be kinky to chase-me-down,
Little did you know I've a long-distance-runners-crown!

Things seemed normal when we were together,
People told us stupid cliches, like birds of a feather!
Now that you're living in the sasquach riddled forest,
I'm shacking up with your favourite florist!
(He's got quiet gentle hands you know!)

So while you're picking berries for your dinner,
Just remember who was this relationships winner~


Sincerely Cayenne~

Offline Adammair

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9839 on: January 16, 2015, 08:53:42 PM »
Cayenne,

You're so hot, in more ways than one, and you just keep getting hotter. I can't take the heat, so...I suppose I'll just have to get out of the kitchen.

With deepest regret,
Adammair

Offline FaeBorne

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9840 on: February 03, 2015, 01:45:14 PM »
There is  a post it note on the toilet tank top, while you take the time to relieve yourself in the morning.

Thanks for our last night.....

~Fae

Offline AmberStarfire

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9841 on: February 03, 2015, 03:54:13 PM »
There is a post-it note stuck to the back of your wing.

It says "I met a man with equipment you don't have. Sorry,  but fly free pretty pixie!"

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9842 on: February 03, 2015, 08:32:09 PM »
Dear Amber, 

How else can I convey my feeling, my desires, all that I need to say, but in a rap.

Once upon a time, in a far on place,
I was dumping your ass, to see the look on your face!
Oh!~
You'll never-ever-forget-me, not-a-moment-when-you-were-wit'me ,
For I am the the one, that holds the chain to your collar, Cuz every night in bed, I'm a like DAMN ROGUE SCHOLAR!
Woah!~
So each time you wake up, in your lonely little room,
I'll be driving by slow, with my engines a-vroom!
Yeah!~
I'll have dudes in the back, and bitches in the front, and everybody will have glistening mouths from eating out my (radio edit)
But baby don't worry, I won't burn this bridge, so take all those horny thoughts and put them in the fridge!
Cryo frozen in time and space, so when I show up you'll be ready-to-give-chase!
But until that time, content yourself with this rhyme, because forgetting about me, is the real worst crime!



Word, Cayenne~

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9843 on: February 06, 2015, 10:49:06 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

I switched the dial on the radio. I'm not into that rap thing anymore. Or the people doing it...

Ballroom dancing music has taken over my heart. You know its 'cause I've always been the classiest of broads. No shit. They serve champagne too. And not outta no Dixie cup darling. I put on the fancy, sweeping music and just you know FLOW. In a f'n circle. No bob. No hip hop. No aero freekz happening here. It's easier to keep my hair looking totally fabulous.

Enjoy the street, girl.

Miss High Class Bunny

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9844 on: February 06, 2015, 02:21:45 PM »
Dearest Blue Bunny,

I can't believe you've forgotten about the streets!

You think your high class life can satisfy your low class skank desires you are dead wrong!  You think they got orgy dumpsters in the HIGH CLASS NEIGHBOURHOODS!? No, their garbage is so pristine they just put it back on the shelves in slightly lower class stores! That's how the world works! You don't know this because you're too busy making porn gagging on the silver spoon they are jabbing in your gullet!

You wanna expose yourself to a hobo? The closest thing they've got is the middle class person who takes care of your new neighbours house during the winter.  He doesn't know depravity, he still blushes at the idea of slightly off kilter missionary positions, don't even approach him with the idea of dangerous live wire electrical cord street trapeze sex!

So yanno, enjoy your fancy life! I'll be here keeping it real!

Keeping it nasty!

Keeping it on the cheap low!

Cayenne~

P.S. Hook a sister up with some scratch if you're so roll'n in it..~

Offline MasterMischief

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9845 on: February 06, 2015, 05:43:13 PM »
It's not me, it's you.  I mean, really...you.  You are just so...you know...YOU.  Sorry but you are just too much.

Offline PennySludt

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9846 on: February 07, 2015, 11:56:17 AM »
sorry MasterMischief, but your fur sheds terribly and i hate housework. this just isn't going to work.

Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9847 on: February 07, 2015, 06:41:21 PM »
Dear Penny.
I am so sorry for the timing of this break up, with Valentines just under a week away. But I can't take this any longer, your slutty ways have broken my heart, whilst your body has ravaged my own. I wish it could be some other way, but my mind tells me to go whilst I can.
Goodbye Penny.
From,
Saphire </3

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9848 on: February 07, 2015, 07:04:28 PM »
Dearest Saphire,

I'm going to make this brief.

That is all.

Oh, I'm being told that might have been too brief, so I will elaborate some.   I really loved your body, maybe I've been mind controlled by years of art history telling me that curvy is beautiful, and that every swell and outward roll of delicate flesh is as tantalizing as a bowl of fruit! Of course, you eventually started wearing corsets, which was cool, excluding the whole idea that your guts were being crushed into spaces where they would normally not be - and yanno, the whole shape-changing nature of it.

I get it, but at the same time I already read this sex story where a girl keeps going, wearing tighter and tighter corsets, almost gets kept by her best friend who secretly has the hots for her, but only to have her master use that girl up and sell her off to someone else! Of course it ends with the girl being unable to live without the corset, as yanno, removing the only thing keeping everything in place would kill her!

Crazy!

I just can't handle that, I'm sorry.   Though, at the time the thought of it seemed kind of erotic, but being that I am female, if the story plays out the same, I'll just end up in a bad way myself!  So what can I do but end it now while you're still in conservative attire!  I mean, I'm sure some outlandish life is ahead of you! If sex stories written by randoms are anything to go by.

So yeah, good luck with all of that!

Once yours, Cayenne~

Offline Kekec

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9849 on: February 10, 2015, 10:31:52 AM »
Cayene, you're the weakest link. Goodbye.