When you said you wanted to be a mummy, I was at first a little shocked, but then overjoyed.
Yes, I thought, it was time we settled down.
I imagined the patter of tiny feet... ahhh... (brushes away a tear of joy).
Yes, yes, I knew the patter come after some time lying about crying for milk
(the baby I mean... On the other hand, I always wondered about the taste... No, NO!).
So, you said 'let's try now'.
But then you produced the packs of bandages.
Why would you need to dress up in bandages for sex I wondered?
Okay, so I got the wrong end of the stick.
You wanted to be pushed round the streets in a sarcophagus on wheels for Halloween.
Then came the really weird stuff.
You found you liked being kept tied up in the dark sarcophagus and you wouldn't come out.
It was a nightmare explaining to the neighbours...
And your mother calling the police!
No, I am off babe.
Sorry, but bye, bye Hatshepsut, or whatever you call yourself nowadays.