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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289554 times)

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Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9750 on: September 21, 2014, 07:11:47 AM »
We really need to part, lady. I don't want no Injuns around me and you're technically from British India, right? The stripes of the zebra never wear off, I couldn't care less that you might shout and argue it's not what they called it when you lived down south...Plus you're a schismatic bitch who is constantly making me feel like you're stirring up trouble. I invoke the spirit of Brian de Bois-Guilbert to take matters in hand, we cannot have all this doublecrossing and strange rumours running around and even slipping into my dreams!

Online Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9751 on: September 21, 2014, 07:57:41 AM »
My dear muffled mattress:


Let me put this in terms you can understand.


Mggh!  Mfffvll, nnng mff!  Ffffmmm mrrrm gng. Vmmm nnngm Ngu.


OK?  We clear?


Maybe your next partner will untie you. You look too cute to disturb.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9752 on: September 21, 2014, 08:53:24 AM »
Dear NWW,

Look, I really liked the idea of your recent interest in the occult.
At first it added a new spine-tingling dimension to our relationship.
A turn of the cards and a few incantations before we began.
Mystic mumblings during, and a final release of energy like no other I have known.
The Earth truly moved.

But then, you accidentally used the wrong words and reincarnated a tiny dragon.
You said the monster looked cute and things would be fine.  A baby one would be so easy to train.

No such luck...I mean, where the heck do you find a dragon trainer, the Internet?
Anyway, things around the house started acquiring singed edges.
And, you said this was great because now we'd not need central heating in winter.

Then there were the piles of stinking green poo where you'd least expected them.
That was bad enough, but when people's pets started vanishing,
and the dragon wouldn't let me in the bedroom, I'd had enough.
I confronted you saying "That bloody dragon's taking your soul dear - You are going to have to get rid of it or I'm off!"

So, anyway, I've packed my bags.
I am going to spend some time sailing far far away.

Keep a fire extinguisher handy.
Your escaping ex

Boat
« Last Edit: September 22, 2014, 12:47:39 AM by Boatman »

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9753 on: September 26, 2014, 09:50:01 PM »
Mr. Boatman, Lord Seducer,
Join Date Mar 2012
At the point where the tides meet

September 26, 2014

Dear Mr. Boatman,

It has come to our attention that you have not satisfied your monthly quota in the Breakup with the Person Above You Thread. Perhaps this is an oversight on your part? Please check your records to see if you misplaced any pertinent breakups. You understand of course that we can not tolerate laziness in this thread. Imagine if apathy were to carve a foothold? Once established, the horror could spread into all the forums... even *gasp* the Good and Cuddly! It is not a pretty thought. Remember the hugging penguins? Or the kittens sleeping? GONE! If you would have your way!

Mr. Boatman, we hold you responsible for the horrible future that could befall every single member of E. And in the best interest of Breakup with the Person Above You, furthermore to be known as BWTPAY and the GAD too, you are hereby broken up with this thread.

Please know it is nothing personal. It is strictly business. Now pack your things and move out so the next man may have his chance in the sun.

The Staff
« Last Edit: September 26, 2014, 10:08:35 PM by blue bunny sparkle »

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9754 on: September 27, 2014, 01:53:59 AM »
Dear Bunny (acting on behalf of the E Management),

I do have to come clean here... It is about cleaning.
Partly anyway.
You see...
You might understand. I hope you do.
Every time I had to find a new love, sometimes even a love I had broken up with previously, I felt I had to be on my best behaviour.
Well, for a short while anyway.
You know, Id clean the house before she came round.
Id make the bed.
Id hose down the boat.
And hose Boat down.
Id shave and wash my clothes and sometimes change my clothes too.
Once Id even bought new clothes - two for the price of one at the market.
And presents you know, new loves like flowers, chocs. Jewelry even!
You have to buy more food, provide toilet paper.
Clean sheets new loves seem to like those.
And all the tidying away of my mess. Hiding it anyway.

It was my therapist who started adding it all up. The time, the cost.
And she said, she would come round and help me.
She said I was the worst case shed ever encountered.
I could be her project.
But it turned out she liked clean sheets too.
So, although I did ease back on my break ups for a while.
I think I am stuck with them for the sake of the glimpse of pleasure in between.

So, Bunny dear, I am breaking up with your management threat of breaking up with me.

Boat.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2014, 01:55:10 AM by Boatman »

Offline Queen of spades

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9755 on: September 30, 2014, 08:14:46 AM »
Argh breaking up with Timothy Dalton era Bond! It almost pains me.

"Well, I guess it's, uh... a farewell to arms.."
« Last Edit: September 30, 2014, 08:31:12 AM by Queen of spades »

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9756 on: September 30, 2014, 08:37:38 AM »
Dearest QOS,

I did love you. I still do.
And it wasn't just the arms... Every part of you fascinated me.
For me, you were the real Bond girl.

So why your moody silences?
You really didn't need to get jealous.
They were just actresses... the bedroom scenes, and the off set rehearsals meant nothing.
Nothing at all.
Just duty.

Oh well, I've some casting interviews, so won't keep you.
Keep safe.

Bond.



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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9757 on: September 30, 2014, 12:09:31 PM »
My dear Bond, James:

By the time you read this, I will be beyond your reach, returned to the Nowhereness of being an anonymous figure in the crowd of your women.

I won't insult you by pretending either of us will be upset; we understand each other far too well for that. Each was a convenience for the other, a moment, trapped in the amber of time, to be examined as a keepsake, but not to be overvalued, or renewed.  Still, I will remember with fondness the moonlit car chases, playing jet-ski bumpercars; the hours at the firing range (I still maintain that I would have outscored you had your hands not begun to wander).  The full-contact naked judo, the...dare I say it? Bondage?

But all ties, like all persons, are mortal, and ours is now dead, as shall, in such a painfully short time, we be.  I have taken your beloved Walther PPK as a memento, and left you one of my knives in return. I hope it will amuse you.  Do not attempt to search me out- not that I expect you will- for I do not choose to be found. It is I, this one time, who does the abandonment scene, and comes out the Pyrrhic victor.

And so now, Mr. Bond-

Goodbye.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9758 on: September 30, 2014, 05:17:50 PM »
Agent Nowhere,

You played your part well. Even though you knew in your heart of hearts you were expendable.
It took guts and dedication.
I admired you. Wow!
And under other circumstances, if Id not had the world to save, you would have been the target of my true affection.
Definitely.
Almost certainly.

Your emotional parting with me was such a good ruse.
The bad guys fell for it.
Thinking they had captured someone I would die for.
But how wrong they were!
We knew...
Our little secret, that when you detonated the tactical nuclear weapon sewn into your bag, we'd beaten them.

You are/ were fantastic.
Unique.
I had hoped you'd escape in time... Knowing a ticking minute would be tight.
Perhaps you did and have gone to ground.

Otherwise, if your atoms have been dispersed in that terrible mushroom, I won't let you be forgotten.
There'll be a mention in dispatches, though clearly without disclosure of your real name.

xx

James
« Last Edit: October 01, 2014, 03:53:04 AM by Boatman »

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9759 on: October 03, 2014, 01:49:01 AM »
Bond, you learned nothing from your villains. No monologues, just go!

Like this: whoosh.

Offline Queen of spades

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9760 on: October 03, 2014, 10:25:21 AM »
When you squeezed my throat lightly, during sex, it made me purr with pleasure - now you're just a pain in the neck!

It's over!

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9761 on: October 03, 2014, 11:30:47 AM »
First you wanted to leave the small town. I said yes...
Then you wanted to climb all over city fire escapes in the middle of the night. I said yes to that also...
You made me get up way too early in morning - to go window shopping when the stores weren't even opened yet.
I said yes, even though I didn't understand your reasoning. At all.

And now. I'm saying no.

Forever.

Offline Queen of spades

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9762 on: October 03, 2014, 12:48:03 PM »
I only did those things because you said yes! Because you being there gave them meaning and made them memorable.

The reason didn't matter, just that you we're there!

Now that you said no, the reason matters to me.

Only because you're not there, and now I have to find someone else, to go window shopping with.

:(

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9763 on: October 04, 2014, 11:53:45 AM »
It was a lie. All a lie.

I never liked shopping.

Or flower carts.

Or when you pretended to be a lady.

I wanted the terribly fake English accent and the rumpled clothes.

It was all based on a lie.

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9764 on: October 04, 2014, 12:42:32 PM »
At first, I thought the whole 'wrapped in plastic' thing was pretty hot.

I mean, you knew I was into bondage and breathplay, and I liked displaying you to other people.

But even those wonderful things are only sometimes things.  You wanted to be wrapped like a pork loin all the time.

In bed, at the movies, when we went to meet my frikkin' parents!

When you started demanding to sleep in the walk in fridge, hung by your wrists, that was the tipping point for me.

So, enjoy your new lodgings.  By yourself, I'm done.  Hopefully someone will find you in here eventually.

Offline Beorning

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9765 on: October 04, 2014, 01:19:01 PM »
It can't go on like that. It just... can't.

I know you are hot. I mean, the muscles, the six-pack...  Sure, it's okay the flaunt a good physique from time to time.

But you want to do this all the time! Everywhere! All you do is... pose!

Come on! Don't rub it in! Not all of us are demigods with classical physique...

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9766 on: October 04, 2014, 02:48:25 PM »
Beorning:


Bear hairs in the bed.

Honey on bread for lunch. EVERY DAY.

The snuffling, the roaring, the claw marks...


An elf isn't cut out for living with a skin-changer.
Sorry. Bai.

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9767 on: October 05, 2014, 01:22:59 PM »
Your ears, it was fine when they were a couple of inches. But now it's... they tickle my thighs, all right? How'm I supposed to concentrate with all that tickling?

Tuck 'em in or get out.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9768 on: October 05, 2014, 01:32:08 PM »
Mr. Stone.

You are cold. Too cold for me. My heart freezes. My fingertips are numb.
My nose is reddened. No wrap can warm me. No cocoa can heat my innards
with its chocolately goodness.

You are cold.

Cold as...

Stone

goodbye.

Offline TaintedAndDelish

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9769 on: October 05, 2014, 07:59:45 PM »
Dear Bunny,

It started out as something kinda creepy and edgy, but escalated much faster than I had ever anticipated. There were times when it hurt, when I felt so alone, so helpless, itchy and cold. I looked to you, for comfort, but received only your cold, glazed stare amid your silken splendour. How I wanted to swat those spiders off of you, but you insisted upon letting them encase you. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I ASKED IF YOU WERE OK WITH ENCASEMENT!

It seems your new friends have pricked you like I never could, and completely took your breath away. This is it for me, my Bun. Farewell.

*Pins note to Bunny's spider silk encased corpse*



Offline Divine Tenacity

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9770 on: October 05, 2014, 08:06:40 PM »
Dear T&D,

You are just way too delicious. I mean, especially in your scrubs!

If I continue nomming on you, I will get realy bad cavities. I hate cavities!  >:(

Sorry, but this has got to end.

No X's and O's,
~Midori </3

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9771 on: October 05, 2014, 09:59:55 PM »
Midori.

It's always about change with you. 

Changing your name, changing your avatar, getting tattoos, dying your hair.  It's all you talk about, and all that you think about.

And worst off, you want to change me. 

"Wear more clothes," you said. 
"At least try a towel that's -not- mostly see through," you carped.
"Maybe some ink since you're showing all that skin," you demanded.

Well, I'm not a Ken doll.  I'm not here for you to dress up and change however you want.

I'm perfect just the way I am.  I am perfect alone.

Enjoy your impermanence.

Kazyth

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9772 on: October 05, 2014, 10:08:42 PM »
Kazyth.

There are not enough sheets in the cupboard for the both of us.

And I need them to do my sexy mummy bit for Halloween... and there you are still hogging the last little one. You've already had it how long? Give someone else a turn! It's not like it even really covers you - there.

Don't be greedy. Dress up as something else for Halloween. Something with CLOTHES maybe?

*Steals your sheet and wraps it around my own spooky limb quickly*

There!

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9773 on: October 05, 2014, 10:29:39 PM »
*waddles in with an icepack on his groin, along with a lot of gauze*

Well, first off Bunny, we had LOTS of gauze that you could have used instead.

Secondly, now you know why I never took the towel off.  It was GLUED there, as part of a long and involved practical joke.  Obviously, I was disinclined to use any sort of solvent to free myself.  You took SKIN with you when you did that.

Thirdly, due to those specific circumstances, that towel hasn't been... washed in a while, so to speak.

So, enjoy your bloody, crusty, wangskinned towel.  I'm going to go apply a good amount of bactine, whimper for a while, then get on with my life.

Without you.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9774 on: October 05, 2014, 10:33:47 PM »
Well d'uh.

"Cause I ain't sticking around if you can't be up to... well, being up.

Call me when you've healed...

Bunny