To Patient 3652Q,
Just so there is no confusion, we will be speaking to you as a corporate entity, not as a single individual of whom, may or may not be writing this letter to you, that will later be dictated by your new caregiver. This caregiver will help you make the transition to your new, and exciting personality, of which, if not at first, you will undoubtedly come to look forward to over time.
To help with your memory, you agreed, as most, by blindly clicking through the terms of service agreements in order to speed your way into the arms of the person of whom, we deemed most compatible for you! Of course, at that point, we infiltrated your home (With your agreed upon consent) categorized your items, and turned over all of our findings to our crack team of psychoanalysts!
From there, they determined that range of which you as an individual could be molded! Of course, after that point we sent our agent to your home to access your current worth as a partner! Given instructions to be pleasant, and easy going, she, over the course of the year began to unravel the small intricacies that are you!
Whatever feelings, or emotions represented by our agent, we assure you, is merely the result of expert training!
So in, you should remember the interrogation period, of which you were stolen away from your home, and the crying arms of our agent and the final tests administered! As we are not afraid of the destruction of ones mind, having become somewhat experts of rebuilding, we were, as you might recall, rather tough on you!
That said, we'd like to let you know that we are very pleased, that, as an individual, you have a very good "Base" of which we can custom remake you into something our, high paying clients desire! Your happiness of course, is assured during that period, even if it seems to be the furthest thing from the truth currently!
As you won't really recall your former life, we'd like to take this moment to thank you for signing your life away in the 2.5 seconds it took you to click through the user agreements and once again remind you, that pretending to be broken, screaming, and otherwise carrying on is not only encouraged, but expected, given our assessment of you.
Yours, The Happy life Dating group~