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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 347331 times)

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Offline Lynnette

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9675 on: September 05, 2014, 05:40:08 PM »
I'm sorry, it's over. I just never feel like I know where you are, both in our relationship, and... Anywhere...

Offline Amazee

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9676 on: September 05, 2014, 08:46:32 PM »
Its not me, its you. Well actually it is you, because you cheated on me with everybody in my family, but lets remember the good times alright? Well the times you WEREN'T with my sister. Or my cousin. Or her sister. What was the point I was trying to make again?

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9677 on: September 05, 2014, 10:39:43 PM »
Amazee I...I don't know what to say here.  You have a grey name tag and that was kind of new to me.  Kind of exciting.  And that was enough for a while.  But then I met your sister and...man.  I put some stats together:

84% of my favorite strap on related sex acts have been with your sister vs. %64 with you.  (The overlap is that night last year, you know the one I mean)

With a sigma of 0.4, the majority of fingers inside me have belonged to a member of your family -  but of those only one in eleven have been yours.

The sd of mean time spent in the shower naked with me is only 2:37 minutes for you but almost quarter of an hour with your cousin's sister.

11% of headache related excuses have been to you vs. 6.43% to your cousin.

100% of Kythis's surveyed felt I was "Like, totally out of your league"

Sooooo.  I dunno.  This fat kid who waits behind at school to do extra maths homework seems to think the conclusion is I should dump you and set nerdyMathsKidPlaysWithMyBoobies to true.  And he kinda seems to know what he's talking about.

Which kinda means its over.  So...bye?
« Last Edit: September 05, 2014, 10:40:45 PM by Kythia »

Offline Snapespersephone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9678 on: September 06, 2014, 01:36:25 AM »
I believed you were faithful to me and then I came up behind you and heard you admitting to the noob just what kinda tart you are. So I guess i just have to say it, "Kythia I prefer Cherry tarts and you are just a bitter apple one."

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9679 on: September 06, 2014, 01:48:01 AM »
Percy my dear,

I quite liked it when you snuck in my window in the middle of the night and aroused me into making long hard and passionate love.
Later when you were literally smoking and told me you were an undead spirit of the underworld, I was a little less certain.
Although, looking at my shorts, I was still very much in lust with you at that point.

It was when I saw you pull the postman through the letterbox by his arm and devour him greedily, I thought it best to go for a quick holiday before the police arrived.

BYE....

Offline Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9680 on: September 06, 2014, 07:58:50 AM »
Yo, Toy Boat:


You'd think, with a name like yours, you could at least FIND my little boat. It's tied up at the same dock it always has been, right off the Sunless Deep.

But no, you keep rowing around and around it.  So I'm off to find a REAL seaman- maybe a whaler with a nice long harpoon. You'll be hearing from the BBB about the whole 'false advertising' thing, too.

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9681 on: September 06, 2014, 09:17:22 AM »
I was telling my friend all about you, how great we were together and all of the rest of it.  And she was like "Wow, seems like you're really in to this now here woman."  And I said, "No, it's nowhere woman" And she said "No, it's pretty clearly now here woman"  And then the waitress - we were in a restaurant, I should have mentioned that - she said "Actually, I'm pretty certain it's nowh erewo man"  And I said "No, that's just stupid"  And she said "Are you calling me stupid, bitch"  And I stood up and said "Yes.  Want to make something of it."  And she slapped me so I kicked her in the shin.  Then my friend joined in and grabbed her - her, the waitress - grabbed her arm and held her still while I punched her in the face.  But I hurt my hand because I didn't make a fist properly and it still hurts a bit now, actually.  And then the waitress said "You'll pay for that you bitch" and hit me with the bottle of sparkling water she'd been bringing us - that's why she was at our table at the time.  And that really hurt because it was a heavy glass bottle and it made my nose bleed.  So my friend and I ran off because this was going badly.  And then we went to the emergency room to see if my nose was broken.  And the doctor was really good looking and he said "Hey, hot stuff.  Fancy getting a drink some time".  And even though I was technically not single- I was with you, as you'll know - I said yes because he was a lot better looking than you and also probably richer.  Your personality is a bit better than his, but I'm really a lot more concerned about money and looks than personality.  So I've decided that I'm not going to go out with you any more and instead I'm going to go out with him.  Laters.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9682 on: September 06, 2014, 09:39:09 AM »
Kythia,

You've meant so much to me over the years, and I've often read that if you love something, you have to let it go. So with pain in my heart, and tears in my eyes, I shakily write this letter to you, with all the emotion pent up, and spilled over onto this paper so unworthy of what we had.

I'm sorry, I promised myself I'd keep it short.  You probably have a great life ahead of you, so, I'll just enclose this little bit of poetry I wrote about you, and hope you, the complete best.

Tearfully yours, Cayenne


Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
Yo, aen't no one got time for bitches,
Ya'see I'm already pay'n to much for my britches~
That I aen't got no spare cash for you to be spending,
So back that ass up, I aen't into lending~
My precious time to dirty hoes like yourself,
So climb back up on that bitchy bitch self~
For, ya'see I aen't buying what yer sell'n,
Cuz that's straight up bitch that I'm smell'n
Oh, ho, you think I'm being a bit mean?
That don't mean you can have some'o my green!
So keep on moving, and find yourself some sucker,
Cuz this here is the end of this mother fucker~


Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9683 on: September 06, 2014, 12:22:52 PM »
So, I found a magical spell in a dusty old bookshop that will grant me unlimited wealth.  Takes a few ingredients, none of which have been too hard to get.  Sweat from a virgin, fox's tongue, the usual.  The only odd one is a requirement to publicly break up with someone named after a spice...

I'm pretty certain you can see where this is going.

Offline King Serperior

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9684 on: September 06, 2014, 12:34:55 PM »
I regret to say this, but we must end it now.  You keep stealing my shorts and, the next day, they come back torn and shredded!  While that may look amazing on you, it makes me look like a bum!

*Hands the keys to the Jaguar*  Here, you've at least earned that.  The Porsche is mine though.

Offline Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9685 on: September 06, 2014, 01:13:54 PM »
Here's the thing,see:


I didn't mind the paper crowns all over the house.
I didn't mind the dungeon- that was kinda fun.
I didn't mind servants watching everything we did- that was fun too.
The shotgun was loud, but eh. I could see you were compensating.  Hail, yeah baby, whatever.


But the zombies, and the burger grease on the satin sheets?  THAT was too much.


Sorry Your man-I'm-Highness. The Queen is leaving the building.

Offline Kitsunetsuki

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9686 on: September 06, 2014, 08:02:30 PM »
Nowherewoman, you know I adore you. But, sometimes...just sometimes...I think you love those tentacles more than you love me. *sobs* I just...I can't do this anymore.

*waves a tearful goodbye*

/end scene

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9687 on: September 06, 2014, 08:09:33 PM »
This may be the hardest thing I ever do, but...

Kitsu.  Oh, Kitsu.  You were the light of my life.  The caffeine in my Mountain Dew.  And the reason I never wanted to get out of bed in the morning.

I knew we weren't exclusive, but we did have some ground rules.  And what you did with my dog is both baffling and inexcusable.

I found those pictures of you two.  The peanut butter thing?  I know all about it.

I know Mr. Hugglesworth is a handsome dog, the ladies could never resist him.

... and you still took him to commercial auditions.  I never wanted fame for Mr. Hugglesworth!  He doesn't react well to stress, or bright lights!

So we're through.  And I'm filing a restraining order for Mr. Hugglesworth against you.

Ps.  I don't appreciate all of those phone calls from hopeful directors, either!

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9688 on: September 06, 2014, 08:22:05 PM »
Kazyth,

You said your penis was for my eyes only, then you walk around wearing cheese clothe. Let me tell you what you don't seem to understand, everyone can see your penis, your penis is completely visible, it requires almost no imagination to visualize your penis, as it is right there, being a penis behind cheese clothe. 

So yes.

DON'T PLAY COY WITH ME!

You can see it, I can see it, see, nothings wrong right now is it? Oh wait, EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER CAN SEE IT TOO. 

WELL.

That is just a vow broken! I mean, you said "To have and to hold, and not let anyone see my manhood but you"

WELL...

Welcome to divorce court! Good luck leaving with anything, because I'm taking it all!

You can also leave the penis!

That's right, I'll take good care of it, and not go flaunting it around! I'll keep it in a box, which is exactly where you should have been keeping it all this time!

IN MY BOX.

So you know, I hope you have a good life, finding other promises to break with other girls of whom, are okay with the fact you have ABSOLUTELY NO PENIS TO SHOW THEM. 

Sincerely, Cayenne.

P.S. Don't be taking any pictures of it now, to tell them "Oh, this is the penis I once had" either!

Offline LuvNLust

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9689 on: September 06, 2014, 11:07:49 PM »
I don't even know you Cayenne yet I must do this. I'm so sorry to tell you... and I know! Oh yes I know, what good times we've had during the seconds of this posting... why am I doing this?  Must I really?  Is this truly a game?  I don't want to!  But I have no choice... I really don't... so here goes... (tears and all)... my dearest Cayenne (choking up), I have to break up with you... there I said it. Will you forgive me?

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9690 on: September 08, 2014, 11:38:55 AM »
Huh, are we still together?  I'm pretty certain I dumped you didn't I?  No?  You sure?  Well, sorry about that, I certainly meant to.  No time like the present I guess.

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9691 on: September 08, 2014, 11:44:02 AM »
You faithless in-fiddled woman, you copped out on me months ago and now you dare come back here and lurk behind my back. That's so not happening bitch!

*drives a pole in the ground to tie Kythia to it*

Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9692 on: September 08, 2014, 05:09:02 PM »
Wow...
This... isn't going to be easy.
I don't want to break up with you honey...
But you can't talk... your constantly gagged.
Like seriously? A conversation can be nice occasionally.
Do not even moan at me right now, I tried, I really did want this to work.
But I cant take it anymore, you're slowly driving me absolutely bonkers! I was crazy enough!

Bye LouLou.

Offline Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9693 on: September 09, 2014, 07:52:23 AM »
To my long red woman in a blue dress:


It was supposed to be black, darnit!  And then all the wardrobe failures-  letting your coolness spill out all over everyone around, not saving it for me. It can't be forgiven, and I can't go on a-livin' with it.


I'm calling up that DA man. I hear he's single again. And good at pumping things.


Ciao.


PS: Bundle up, or you'll catch cold!

Offline Rhedyn

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9694 on: September 10, 2014, 05:50:50 AM »
I'm sorry, Nowherewoman, but it would be nice for once to actually know where you are. I understand you like your privacy and that your location beyond being nowhere is a secret but I don't see how this can ever work if I don't get to see you.

Sending my best from my location somewhere to the depths of nowhere,

~Rhed

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9695 on: September 10, 2014, 01:47:14 PM »
Quit your damn sniveling, Rhedyn.  You can't post above me in the "Breakup with the person above you!" thread then be all like "I never saw this coming, I thought we had something special, etc etc etc" when I break up with you.

Idiot.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9696 on: September 10, 2014, 02:01:22 PM »
Dear Kythia,

Please reference what is going on to this new, chart topping summer jam.

You aen't special,
You aen't hot,
Don't try to catch me,
I won't get caught!

That's right! it's another one of these! Song where people talk in the middle to fill time, and so that otherwise untalented people may be featured on hot summer jams! So lets get this started!

*Sub woofer set to cardiac arrest, long dragged out seizure beat begins*

You think you're hot stuff,
Well I think you're not,
I guess we'll just, have to disagree on stuff!

Yeah yeah! You heard it there right ethnic slur! Things are getting really real in here! I mean, as real as something altered by a computer can get! Remember back in the day when it was just musicians performing this stuff!

Fee fi fo fum,
Come down here,
and get you sum!
As it, the sum of two things,
Not some of some things!
Lets get back to the guy who can't sing!

..you know what? That was very hurtful! I'm done with this! I am so done with this, it's like Cayenne's relationship with Kythia! BOOM! Too soon?

*Cued, ear splitting record scratch*


I hope that clears things up.

Cayenne~


Offline Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9697 on: September 10, 2014, 04:50:59 PM »
It isn't that you speak in rhyme
(though, in fact, you do it all the time.)

Nor that you're so goddamned loud
(a voice like yours, you should be proud.)

It certainly is not the sex
(I've no reason there to be vexed).

It's more about your favorite sport-

YOU KEEP EATING MY GOD DAMNED SHORTS!


You know how much those COST? Get out!  And take your silk-nomming fetish with you!

Offline Kazyth

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9698 on: September 10, 2014, 07:16:43 PM »
Nowherewoman.

Did you forget that I am the Beast?  How much I love to hunt?  How good I am at tracking, maybe?

I'm guessing so, because every time I asked you where you'd been and you told me, "Nowhere important."  But you knew.  You KNEW that I would think your going to that male strip club would be important for me to know.  You couldn't have actually thought that I wouldn't find it rather vital to know who you were in the backseat of that car with, or who'd been inside you.

Yes, yes, you told me about that gynecologist appointment, but that's not what I'm talking about.  Though come to think of it, that woman's office appeared to be an apartment, and she didn't wear any gloves...

Well, whatever.  We're done.  Don't let me catch a sniff of you coming around to my place again.

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9699 on: September 11, 2014, 12:33:53 AM »
You were so upset when you and Cayenne split up, do you remember?  And I consoled you (consoled you all...night..long...if you know what I'm saying).  And from there, that lust grew in to more lust, but I always knew that Cayenne's breakup with you had upset you.  But, Kazyth...people can still see your fucking penis.  Every single comment she made about being able to see your fucking penis still applies.  That sheet, the one you think covers your penis?  It doesn't.  You recounted for me, in great depth, all the comments Cayenne made about the visibility of your penis.  It took hours.  At no point in that though did you spend five fucking seconds to put your penis away.  Seriously, what the hell is this?  I tried to drop subtle hints - "Boy, if I had a penis I'd sure put it the fuck away" and stuff like that but you didn't seem to notice.  So now I'm telling you. 

We are through.  If you want another shot, put the mouse in the house.