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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289441 times)

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Online Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9650 on: August 25, 2014, 05:18:29 PM »
My spicy enchilada:


I didn't mind when you ruined my digestion,  nor when I had that fire down below. But now you insist on gazing into my eyes, and making them water.


It can't go on. I'm sorry.  I must wash you out of my hair. And my nose.  And my ears. And...


*ACHOO*


NW

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9651 on: August 25, 2014, 05:44:36 PM »
Dearest Boats,
...
Of course, I realize that even you know that it's my happiness that matters in the end~ Now enjoy your little seemingly inescapable death trap you currently find yourself in!
...
Not yours, Cayenne~

Dear lost Pepperios Sappho,

I’ve been troubled by what has become of you. And I am sure this all occurred because you banished me to other realms, or perhaps it could have been my fault.

Although stooped and ugly, I somehow managed to get the job as boatman providing a ferry service between Lesbos and mainland Greece. Then one day, as you know, I carried Aphrodite as a passenger and she gave me an ointment which somehow transformed me into the most handsome man in the world.

From then on I had to fight off married and virgin beauties alike. It was a total pain in the neck as you might imagine.
Indeed, what I would have done to relinquish the curse. But then you took a ride in my boat, and despite your attachment to Bluios Bunnios, we fell in indivisibly and passionately in love.

Well, almost indvisibly.
You see, as a man, I have a weakness for female flattery.
I resisted!
Of course I resisted.
Every fibre of me resisted.
But is was not enough.
Sadly, I fell for another woman, yes, yes, your own lover Bluios Bunnios, who I happened to meet whilst in the queue for fish and chips.
It was unquenchable desire inspired by shared ketchup.

I know now that you then climbed, quite distraught, up the steep cliffs to the shrine of Apollo to wave to me.
But when you saw Bunnios and me munching together in near ecstasy, you threw yourself off… completely and utterly splattering yourself on the rocks.

So tragic.
We think of you often.
Quite often.

(After Sappho and Phaon by Ovid)

Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9652 on: August 26, 2014, 10:52:27 AM »
Dear Boaty...
I've never been good with anything that floats on water.
And to top it all off you really confuse me with your long winded answers.
We were destined to fail.
Goodbye.
Saphire.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9653 on: August 26, 2014, 11:03:18 AM »
Dear Sapphire,

You looked absolutely fantastic as you took the walk, your head held high, your whole flowing curvy shape shouting sex.
But it just doesn't do to try and steal my loot.
Particularly when you get caught.
A final little prod and you slithered, slipped, yelled... and tumbled beautifully off the plank.
Say hi to the sharks sweet one.

Captain Boatbeard

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9654 on: August 26, 2014, 11:17:24 AM »
Dear Boatman,

I have followed and followed your ship, swimming after you in my mermaid form, hoping you would notice me. And hoping. And hoping.

Alas! I could not compete with all the other women you flirted with and pilfered...

So, I decided to save the last one you tired of and sent out upon the plank, SapphireMARIE. There are no sharks now, my once darling. There is only me... and the sweet Sapphie too. I will not tell you of the frolicking that transpires beneath
the boards of your ship. But there is indeed turbulence...



Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9655 on: August 26, 2014, 12:06:52 PM »
Hello my sweet,

Unfortunately I must break up with you as the name of the game is so, but know this my dear:
I wish I didn't have too, the lovely savior you are.
Sorry,
Saphire x

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9656 on: August 26, 2014, 12:35:38 PM »
My dearest saphireMAIRE,

I think you wished to break up with my evil, dark soul stealing twin. Didn't you? For I am the kind, and sweetly sweetest one.

Can you not tell us apart? Can you not see the difference between us? Between the fire, the flame, the passion? That one cute little birthmark that I have and she doesn't?

Dang it! SM!

My heart is broken you think I am her! Her heart is raging because you think she is me!

Farewell for ever,
From both of us.


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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9657 on: August 26, 2014, 04:06:44 PM »
My hoppy little bunny girl,
I really got to say:
there's somethin' slightly wrong with you
that makes me run away.


coz' you're bluuuuue...
yeah, real, real blue.


I said you're bluuuuuuue...
Blue blue, blue.


And not only that,
but you sparkle too!




It ain't that you're unlovin'
or I want to be unkind


But that color you got on babe,
really bends mah mind.


Coz' you're bluuuuueee...
real bright blue.


I said you're bluuuuuuueeee...
too damn blue.


And if the color ain't bad enough,
you sparkle, too!

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9658 on: August 26, 2014, 04:44:53 PM »
OMG! *claps hands wildly*

Dear Nowherewoman,

I understand now why we can not stay together. I understand now why it is imperative that we break up.

No, it is not your beautiful voice darling. It is not your beautiful song. Or your beautiful house.

It is this... I think you are really colorblind...  My color is green. I'm pretty sure of that fact.

So until you see the eye doctor.... or come up with a new song, I am afraid I can not see you any more.

Offline cptBacon

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9659 on: August 26, 2014, 10:33:53 PM »
You know I love you bunny. I won't deny it. I couldn't even pretend. But the way you hop around to other mens' gardens is too much. I can spend my time worrying about and missing you. You'll always hold a special place in my heart, but I still have to say this thing between us is over. You  will always be the Thumper to my Bambi, but this is over. Goodbye my love.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9660 on: August 26, 2014, 11:22:48 PM »
Dear CptBacon/Bamii,

I am sorry, I can not stick about longer... its time to thump something. And I don't believe you ever held the utmost appreciation for my 'thumping' talents.

Bunny Thumper

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9661 on: August 27, 2014, 02:26:43 AM »
My dearest Blue Mermaid, I am placing this message in a bottle with my love.


Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide


I realised I'd had enough of the pirating, so when we returned to harbour I split the treasure between the men and kept back just enough to buy a small cottage by the sea and an old wooden fishing boat.

This newly chosen life was tough but fulfilling. My muscles swelled with the hard work and my hands became calloused. My skin tanned with constant exposure to the elements, and through use of a strange cream the local wise lady gave me to combat the smell of fish guts.

Then, one day in early spring, when the weather gods were still deciding if mankind deserved a summer, their arguing caused a violent storm. The black clouds swept in from the horizon before I had a chance to pull in the nets and I was unable to turn my poor boat's eyes to the rising sea.
She was quickly swamped and wallowed awkwardly, struggling bravely to survive.
Then came the wind mercilessly rushing and swirling, snapping her mast and tearing the sails to ribbons. It was all I could to do cling on as the boat was dashed heavily against unyielding rocks.

Darkness descended across my consciousness in thunderous waves, yet I fancied I saw you swimming and swimming to try and reach me. The thought of you filled my very being with hope and I forced myself to live, to gasp for air. I scrabbled at the slippery rock with broken fingers desperately trying to lift myself out of the ferment. But it was no good. My clothes snagged and ripped as I slid down beneath the foaming surface.

The next thing I knew, the skies were clear and I was lying propped up on a rock in the morning sun with you stretched across me, kissing life into my bruised and broken body. Your tail was wrapped around my leg keeping you out of the water. For hours we lay together, your heat sustaining my feeble life force.

Then we spotted the billowing sails of a ship come to investigate. You were tired and missing the sea, and I needed the land to live.
We shed tears knowing we had to part and, with a final passionate kiss I will never forget, you slipped back into your world.

Although we had to leave one another to survive, I will think of you always, my fair mermaid.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2014, 03:47:10 AM by Boatman »

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9662 on: August 27, 2014, 05:21:19 AM »
dear boatman

I'm afraid it'll never work out. You love the sea, and dolly's cant swim. Unless your one with a wind up swimming mechanism, but I wasn't created with one. I would rather sink you heart then sink down into the bottom of the ocean.

goodbye.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9663 on: August 27, 2014, 08:36:10 AM »
Dear Dolly,

There you were. Abandoned all alone. Unable to swim. In a dead end relationship with a man and his boat.

I wanted to take you away from all that. I wanted to make you my very own Barbie and dress you up and torture you in the most delicious ways and have tea and cookies after. And... girl time. (Lots and lots of girl time)

But you kept getting little bloody footprints on the rug. *shakes head* You do know how hard that is to get out right?

My cleaning bills have skyrocketed since we took up.

I am sorry. It is over.




Offline EliTheInventor

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9664 on: August 27, 2014, 09:15:20 AM »
My dearest Blue Bunny love,

Since the begging of time our paths were doomed to cross and we seemed the perfect couple.
Such beauty does not come to those such as yours, only the Gods can grace you with such a beauty. Any man would kill for a beauty like you, except me.
My dearest God please take you from me! I cannot be with you anymore. My heart weeps for another more common of a beauty, your grae is just to much for me.
I am sorry to seem crude, but our we were doomed from the start. You with your beauty and me with my inventions. I could never get noticed while you shined in the spot light more then me.
It breaks my heart to have to leave you, but my love for invention is more then my love for you.

Sincerely,
Eli

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9665 on: August 27, 2014, 10:15:49 AM »
Dearest Eli,

I'm sorry, I've decided that I can't fall in love with someone of whom might not see tomorrow!  I mean, you're still new here, there's no telling what might happen in the future - I mean, the future, it is a crazy thing - So scary! I have enough troubles without putting all my love into a basket heading towards a waterfall over sharp rocks and basket eating sharks with untamed lions in their mouths!

I'M NOT EXAGGERATING THIS.

Anyway, it's been fun. If you ever get approved and such, I'll have probably found somebody else.

That's just how it works, yanno.

Sincerely, Cayenne~

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9666 on: August 27, 2014, 10:21:27 AM »
My dearest Blue Bunny love,

Since the begging of time our paths were doomed to cross and we seemed the perfect couple.
Such beauty does not come to those such as yours, only the Gods can grace you with such a beauty. Any man would kill for a beauty like you, except me.
My dearest God please take you from me! I cannot be with you anymore. My heart weeps for another more common of a beauty, your grae is just to much for me.
I am sorry to seem crude, but our we were doomed from the start. You with your beauty and me with my inventions. I could never get noticed while you shined in the spot light more then me.
It breaks my heart to have to leave you, but my love for invention is more then my love for you.

Sincerely,
Eli

Dear EliTheInventor,

It has come to my attention that:

1. You did not invent for me the perfect fairy circle cleaning robot
2. You did not invent the suction thing that gets rid of pesky humans
3. You did not invent the little feather comb that sweeps my feathery tresses with gentleness.
4. You did, however invent a bigger TV remote controller
5. And... more sports to watch

Hrrumphhs!

I'm still waiting on the super charged toy you promised me on our first date...

Throws your controller into the burning pits of hell.

Its over!

Dearest Eli,

I'm sorry, I've decided that I can't fall in love with someone of whom might not see tomorrow!  I mean, you're still new here, there's no telling what might happen in the future - I mean, the future, it is a crazy thing - So scary! I have enough troubles without putting all my love into a basket heading towards a waterfall over sharp rocks and basket eating sharks with untamed lions in their mouths!

I'M NOT EXAGGERATING THIS.

Anyway, it's been fun. If you ever get approved and such, I'll have probably found somebody else.

That's just how it works, yanno.

Sincerely, Cayenne~

Cayenne!

How many times have we been over this!

You are a GIRL. A GIRL. Not a NINJA, okay?

STOP BEING A NINJA FOR LIKE ONE SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME!

You. Are. A. Girl.

*throws up hands in the air* I'm gonna go find me a girl.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9667 on: August 27, 2014, 10:27:26 AM »
Dear Blue Bunny,

I'm a Ninja.

Sincerely, Cayenne.

P.S.  You might not have noticed our relationship, the years spent together, the times you woke up, super tired! The three ninja kids you had, but didn't know you had because they were Ninjas, thus, were very discreet that you wouldn't even know you were pregnant! Anyway, they've all moved on, and now so have I! Don't worry, I ninja'd our ninja marriage so now we're divorced.  You might not have remembered our ninja honeymoon, because you aren't a ninja, so yanno, you probably didn't notice.

Anyway, don't bother looking for me if you ever feel like you want to get back together, without knowing you were together, and having a fulfilling life with someone.  Since I'm a ninja, you'll never find me.

P.P.S.  Ninja.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9668 on: August 27, 2014, 10:42:50 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

I was faking it.

I faked it to save your face.

I faked it for your self esteem.

I faked it for... hell so many reasons.

But I'm done now. It was a lie. I KNEW okay? I KNEW all along as you tiptoed around, tripping over things and making a hell of a racket. I PRETENDED I couldn't hear the god awful noise you were making... And those kids? Let me tell you, pretending I didn't see them was worthy of an Oscar nod. You were that bad... I was that good.

But please... go ninja on outta here... I'm sure I'll look for you sometime... (not)

P.S. I already see you hiding in that tree.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9669 on: August 27, 2014, 11:02:50 AM »
Dearest Blue Bunny,

I remember the day you summoned me from the pits of hell in your cute little dorm room, how adorable were those chalk lines you read from some dusty old tome! Oh, and your fake little pale faced complexion, with black lipstick, and eyeliner!  The way your little heart raced when I sprang from the fire-y brimstone!  Those were the days weren't they?

Of course, it was fun to pretend to obey you, that your meek little will could contain me was laughable at best, but endearing at the same time!

We had a good run, but now I've decided to move on, I mean, since I'm not actually controlled by anything, I'll just wander around and see what kind of trouble I can get into on my own! While you - oh, well, someone has to go back to all the endless sadistic orgies of the underworld, and you know, you've seemed pretty uptight lately, so I think an eternity of that will do you good!

Don't worry though, maybe some day someone like you will mistakenly summon you up!

Till then, stay warm!

Cayenne~

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9670 on: August 27, 2014, 12:53:43 PM »
Cayenne!

Wait! Don't go! Cayenne!

*In a loud commanding voice* I summon thee back from... from... where... shit, forgot the stupid lines!

*Draws new chalk lines and yells to the depths of hell* I command thee Cayenne... to...

*whines* Come back Cayenne! Oh come on!

*stops and thinks* Wait.

*whispers* Did you say...  endless orgies? sadistic orgies? Did you mean it? Really?

*kicks chalk lines away and packs bags*

*yells on the way* See ya Cayenne... see ya!

Offline Katrina

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9671 on: August 27, 2014, 05:26:26 PM »
Dear Blue Bunny.

I am sorry to tell you that, well...you're blue....and my favorite color is purple...What I mean is....hmmm...its not you its me....


Love Katrina

Online Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9672 on: August 27, 2014, 06:07:55 PM »
There once was a girl named Katrina
Who had quite a taste for...limericks.


I had to break up
with the cute little pup
'coz nothing clean rhymes with 'Katrina'.

Offline Dama

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9673 on: August 27, 2014, 07:42:38 PM »
I looked for you everywhere!  Where were you?  I can't stand it when I can't find you.  So, this is it and I'll see you..... somewhere.

Online Nowherewoman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9674 on: August 27, 2014, 07:45:31 PM »
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a Dama.


*burns plantation, rides away with a hot Union soldier*