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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 336203 times)

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Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9600 on: July 19, 2014, 01:44:51 PM »
I'm sorry, but you've been taking the "perfect, lovestruck strangers" role playing into our everyday lives. It's gone too far!
All you do these days is look at me, while leaning on walls, as if we're experiencing "love at first sight" again. You even get angry if I don't play along!

Here is the url to a good role playing site, go work it off there. But for now, we're through!

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9601 on: August 07, 2014, 12:26:12 PM »
Dearest Renegade,

By the time you read this letter, I'll have burnt down your castle, and made off with the relics of the ancient kingdom of which you'd worked so diligently to acquire for me. Don't worry, I was sure to leave enough evidence that the neighbouring kingdom did it, to blind your people from the real culprit.

See? I'm not all heartless. 

I get the prize you dreamed about, and you get a bloody, and undoubtedly long war. That is, unless you're willing to admit to them that the woman they all warned you about actually turned out to be as bad news as they thought!

Anyway, don't bother looking for me, just know that I'll be happy and rich.

Not yours, but you're welcome to continue to imagine it, to get you through the night.

Cayenne~

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9602 on: August 07, 2014, 03:05:54 PM »
C,

Most Boat girls fall into my arms when I start up the DB5 and adjust the tilt on the seat.
Not you.

So we are history.


Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9603 on: August 07, 2014, 03:36:11 PM »
Dear Boatman,

Let me just get this out of the way.

You have a knife.

Not a boat.

We're not playing knifey boatsy.

If you want to be a boatman, you should get yourself a boat. Also, it isn't safe to be wearing all black while boating in dangerous waters, any boating expert should know that.  Should something happen, you'll just die, nobody flies around looking for a black speck, in a dark blue sea, it just doesn't happen.

I know you might think you're too good for the rules, but honestly, that just makes you cocky, not good, try not to confuse these things.

In other news.

We're done!

Not that we really started, I mean "Hey, check out my boat, lets go have sex in that alleyway" only works the first dozen times.

Cayenne~

Offline dubheasa

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9604 on: August 07, 2014, 03:41:47 PM »
Cayenne... listen!
This thing between you and I, however special you have made feel during all those time...
it's never gonna work out!
Things have been so spicy, so hot, and yet I am just not in the mental state for something serious at the moment!
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I am not able to give you what you need at the moment.
Im sorry, honey!

Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9605 on: August 07, 2014, 05:59:16 PM »
Dubheasa,

I do like you and all, I think we would be perfect.
If I could say your name.
Do you know how bad it is to say 'that one' to my parents when I panic ?

Sorry beautiful.
Saph

Offline Nachtmahr

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9606 on: August 07, 2014, 06:33:06 PM »
Dear Saphy.

It's not you.. It's me!
It's just.. The way your shirt is always so close to falling right off that perfectly sculpted chest of yours? I'm sorry, it's just.. It's too much! I am only mortal.
I'd love it if I could still be their friend though.

Uh, your friend! I meant you, not them. Sorry.
« Last Edit: August 07, 2014, 06:34:22 PM by Nachtmahr »

Offline Kitsunetsuki

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9607 on: August 08, 2014, 12:29:50 AM »
Darling Red, you swore to me that no butterflies were harmed in the making of your avatar. But, I have since learned that's not true & that the butterflies were later used and abused in the latest James Cameron movie, Lepidop-Terra. I just don't know what to believe anymore. I'm sorry, but we're through...

Offline Nachtmahr

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9608 on: August 08, 2014, 12:53:23 AM »
Dear Kitsune.

I'm sorry, but our time together has just not been the same since you sprained your entire buttock.

I'm sorry, but no functional buttock means no Nachtmahr for you.

*Rides off*

Offline dubheasa

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9609 on: August 08, 2014, 01:39:05 PM »
Red... sorry! This isn't working out! I either burn my fingers on you, little flaming bird, or have to cough when you dissipate into ashes.
I have a SERIOUS dust allergy. So I'm sorry, but I cannot stand the situation as it is!
Hope you understand!

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9610 on: August 08, 2014, 03:38:09 PM »
Dearest Dubheasa.

I know you'd figured our torrent love affair would last forever, but the sad reality is that if you sleep with letters, you wake up with paper cuts!  So, I think it's in my best interest to free up a space for someone who sends pictures with their eloquent prose! I'm sorry! I just, yearn for my physical contact than a manila envelope can provide!

I hope you can come to understand.

...As you know my mailing address, and personal habits.

Cayenne~

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9611 on: August 08, 2014, 03:50:55 PM »
Always that stare suggesting, 'you didn't put the cat out' (even though we don't have a cat).
Or... 'I would have loved flowers just this once' (despite your extensive allergies).
Or ... 'Shit, lets make passionate love on the couch' (irrespective of your mother coming round to inspect everything in the morning).

Life is just too tense... sorry.

Bye Pepper.

Offline Dys Astyr

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9612 on: August 08, 2014, 04:31:02 PM »
Fondest greetings Mr. Boat,

It pains me that it has come to this. I did so enjoy our time together, but who are we fooling, we both knew it wouldn't last. I am a villain and you are an agent tasked with stopping me, such things are just not meant to be. On top of which I kept finding you trying to eat my pets and you blew up more than one of my hide outs, spoiled several of my schemes and killed countless of my minions. So, what is a villain to do? It's simply not responsible for us to carry on like this anymore. Soon they will start questioning your loyalties and we all know what happens after that.

So farewell Boat, I shall always cherish the scars.
Fondest memories~
Syk

P.S. This message will self destruct in 3... 2... 1...

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9613 on: August 08, 2014, 04:53:24 PM »
You had me all wrong from the start. I just popped in to help you (destroy civilisation as we know it). I got rid of the members of your security team, because, well, I didnít think they were up to the job (btw they arenít now).

Mostly though, I fancied taking you to the casino and staking everything for you, knowing that if I lost Iíd, eventually (after a very long time), get over the winner taking you as a prize. But if I won, weíd at least have some happiness together until the helos arrived to take you away.

Unfortunately, theyíve taken you away early. But, Iíll do everything I can...

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9614 on: August 18, 2014, 10:05:51 PM »
Dear Boatman,
When you said boat, I thought you meant yacht.
When you said you wanted booty, I thought you meant actual boo-tay.
When you said your oar was massive I thought... well, you know.

And now, you appear to be a spy.

These inconsistences confuse me.

I'm leaving at the next port!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9615 on: August 19, 2014, 01:42:50 AM »
Dearest BBS,

You are a bit uppity for a stowaway who hid in a cake and twirled out unexpectedly.

You've been wined and dined and preened and I was getting to quite like you.

But it really is not quite etiquette, sweet fluffy lady, to excuse oneself in the middle of a round of port.

I am afraid my intentions towards you are entirely honourable.

I've left some make up and a mirror in the lifeboat.
A cruise ship will be passing this way shortly and chances are they'll pick you up.

Bon voyage.


Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9616 on: August 19, 2014, 01:55:22 AM »
 ;D

Red,
When we met on line, you didn't disclose everything did you?
The cyber was fantastic.
Yeah, the age was right.. and wow, you are even more beautiful in the flesh.
But it was your touch.
So soft, delicate... all over my body, all at once.
Until I realised it wasn't you at all.
I cringe even now at the thought... after months of therapy.
It was't your fingers brushing my skin, stimulating such passion and excitement. It was your trained beasts (I haven't missed an 'r' out BTW).
You hid that that you were a secret lepidopterist.

Time for some more shock treatment..


Offline Vill

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9617 on: August 19, 2014, 02:10:23 AM »
Vessleguy,

I don't know what "lepidopterist" means, and frankly I think you think I don't think I'm as smart as you'd like to think I am.

So, this is goodbye.

P.S. all your stuff in on my front lawn via a hasty descent from our second story bedroom window.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9618 on: August 19, 2014, 09:11:26 AM »
Vill...

Seriously.

Comb your hair dude.

Just. Comb it.

The windswept look is so last year.

Bunny

Offline Rhedyn

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9619 on: August 19, 2014, 02:50:52 PM »
Bunny... seriously... if I've told you once I've told you hundred times, don't take my handcuffs. You know what? Just keep them. I just... can't be with someone who takes my stuff all the time.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9620 on: August 19, 2014, 03:23:39 PM »
We joyfully shared our love of naturism and nature and each other, deeply, again and (as far as I can recall, again).
But now I can see from what's stuck in your hair you have been ferreting around in my tomato plants.
And not for the first time.
I mean, I knew you were a vegetarian, but chomping my prize fruit and veg through the night... no way!
Our beautiful season together is done.

Offline dubheasa

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9621 on: August 20, 2014, 03:09:32 PM »
You know... I could stand you being in the garden all the damn time. I could even stand the smell of soil underneath your fingernails. I have no problem with having to vacuum the flat every single goddamn day, because you always forget to take of your shoes.
But.... I will not, ever, get the living earthworms out of the pockets of your garden pants before washing again!
Really! THIS is disgusting! Oh, and not to mention the snail I found in the dryer.
We. are. done!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9622 on: August 20, 2014, 04:18:45 PM »
I made you fresh bread every day.
You said my wine was the best that had ever refreshed and energised your palate.
True, the bees tried to chase you off.
But the honey was worth the wait?
We fished and gutted the fish together.
And we really did had to slaughter fluffy.
Yes, work in the fields can be demanding, the worms, the snakes...
I see you quivering.
Sorry, I donít think you are cut out for the Good Life we both dreamed of.

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9623 on: August 21, 2014, 09:42:25 AM »
Dearest Boatman,

Don't worry, your boat is doing fine.  I'm keeping mighty good care of it, as I give people insightful tours of the river styx. You wouldn't believe what the recently deceased people don't know about the afterlife! Of course, there is now a humongous backlog of individuals waiting for safe passage across the waters, but you know what? Being in demand just makes people appreciate you more!

I mean, not to say your method of solemnly, and soundlessly paddling across the river was incredibly boring, but, you obviously didn't have pirate costume wednesdays, and fried fish fridays! Both of which, are very big hits mind you. 

Fret not though, I haven't forgotten about you either! Of course, we're over! You're probably telling yourself that as you attempt to push some giant boulder up a hill while Sisyphus tries for high scores on angry birds.  Regardless, hopefully you're thinking of all the good times we had together while you toil for what you're hoping isn't eternity, but on the bright side, this'll really help build up your shoulders!

Anyway, it's about time for Monster Mash Mondays to start and I haven't gotten my shipment of beer kegs yet! See? You're not the only one having a rough time!

Most Sincerely, Cayenne~


Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9624 on: August 21, 2014, 10:15:48 AM »
Dear Cayenne,

When I promised to be the little mermaid to your boat captain, I didn't know you were stationed in freakin' hell! Giving tours no less!

Did you know... the water is unbearably hot! It's makes my little iridescent scales flake off something terrible. And come ON! How many times does a mermaid girl have to be hit on by losers form the underworld? You would think they'd never seen sweet and innocent before! *flashes pearly white smile*

Unless you get a transfer, babe, preferably to somewhere balmy I'm catching the next current outta here.

Bun Bun