Dear Dim Hon,
Get out of the freaking rain already. Even Aquaman spends more time dry than you do at this point, and he is the king of the OCEAN, of which, lets face it, most of earth is water, he's pretty much got the controlling interest on planet earth. I have to admit though, it was pretty romantic, I mean, we'd meet in the rain, you'd tell me poetry in the rain, it made me think we were at the pivotal scene in some romance movie!
Yet, sex in the rain, while inside, not as fun. Also, the water damage to my apartment has basically bankrupted you (It would have been me, but yanno, joint accounts and all that, and well, it is your fault). Oh and this idea of we can just live on the ocean, in a nice little house boat? Hey uh.. no thanks anyway.
Speaking of which if you see boatman, please pass this along to him.
I have to admit, you clean up nicely. A little just for men, a haircut, and a shave later and you were looking like the height of sexy modern man! I was, I cannot lie, pretty excited by this idea you'd decided to update your look, and you know, I didn't particularly catch the whole theme you were going to at first, as I, like most women can appreciate a man in uniform, yet, perhaps was expecting something within the last hundred years.
Granted, your shabby post caveman look, of which, led me to believe those were actually horns, and not just, unwashed masses of hair of which had developed a film against wayward splashes from the sea of souls or whatever it is you drive your little dingy around on. Yet, I'm pretty sure that particular look happened to be popular around the late 17 hundreds, and early 18 hundreds.
I know you a little slow to pick up on new styles but, honestly, updating your look usually implies to the current era, not one that is two hundred years passed.
I know, I know, baby steps and that whole thing. Yet, you a grown ass, lived a long time, should be over these mid eternity life crisis bits. Not that I think you'd look overly good in reflective rain jackets, just, is it too much to ask for a sharp, snappy sailor outfit?
I guess so.
So yeah, I don't know what happens when you get dumped, if you get more rain, or thundershowers or something, but honestly, I'm just going to put a little distance between us before that.