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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289026 times)

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Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9450 on: June 07, 2014, 05:38:33 PM »
Boat,

I lied. I'm not a cat. I'm a toothless cat. You are a liar.

I'm never speaking to you again.

Farewell.

~Cat

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9451 on: June 07, 2014, 05:52:14 PM »
Cat,

But aren't these your DNA matched dentures?

 Such empty promises of honesty.

I am blotting you out with a good measure of rum.

Bye, whoevever you were, hic.

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9452 on: June 07, 2014, 06:41:21 PM »
Boat,

I'm still not speaking to you.

(But please don't get all drunk, I like you witty)

~Cat

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9453 on: June 08, 2014, 02:18:01 AM »
Cat,

Quote
I'm still not speaking to you.

It is the long silences that got me down... When you were supposed to be on lookout duty!

I am off to fill in the iceberg holes.

Boat

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9454 on: June 08, 2014, 02:45:17 AM »
Boat,

How many times must we go through this?
Ice bergs deserve having holes put in them. Just ask James Cameron.
Its not me, its you.

~Cat

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9455 on: June 08, 2014, 02:53:34 AM »
Dearest Cat.

But what's all this standing in the bows with your arms outstretched pretending to be a bird?
I've told you about trying to catch albatrosses.

It is all over.

This plank has you name on it.

B

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9456 on: June 08, 2014, 03:10:47 AM »
Boat,

I'll never let you go Boat, I'll never let go.

....five seconds later......

Hmm, nah, I'm out, you can go screw the plank for all I care.

~Yourexlovercatwithclaws

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9457 on: June 08, 2014, 04:09:11 AM »
Cat,

Whilst I initially found your indecision utterly charming... It has begun to wear thin.
If you could just have resisted spending all day in the heads deciding which collar to wear then perhaps we could have had more fun.

Bye kitten.

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9458 on: June 08, 2014, 04:28:50 AM »
B,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts, just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well that's alright because I love the way you lie, love the way you lie.
I can't stand the things you say about me anymore, my self esteem is practically non-existent, gone are the spiked stilettos, gone are the leather hot pants, all that remains are droopy whiskers and a broken soul.

~yourkitten
 

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9459 on: June 08, 2014, 04:32:28 AM »
Dear sweet boat,

just an after thought.

WEEEEEEEE, EEEE, ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER, GETTING BACK TOGETHER!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9460 on: June 08, 2014, 09:08:54 AM »
Dear Cat,

I was just going to say that  I ... hold on a moment, did you say spiked stilettos?... and leather hot pants?
I don't care about your facial hair.
I've always said that.
But you really meant... leather hot pants?
Why didn't you say you had those streamlined curve hugging slippery babies ..[fans himself ]... on under the cat suit?

But... all tragically too late.

I went to pieces on getting your note.
So, farewell for ever, as I have accepted a duel with a man who never loses [obviously].

Boat
« Last Edit: June 08, 2014, 04:25:44 PM by Boatman »

Offline Asher

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9461 on: June 08, 2014, 09:14:11 AM »
Mr. Boatman.

I don't like boats, so this is it. We are done, come back when you can fly.

-Asher

Offline Chasseybaby

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9462 on: June 08, 2014, 09:38:36 AM »
Asher,

Your so sercertive and never let me in. I feel as if you are hiding your true self from me. I'm sorry but this isn't working for me.

Chass

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9463 on: June 08, 2014, 11:48:45 AM »
Baby,

This obsession of yours with bathing in asses milk is getting too much for me.
The worst bit is waking up to the smell of yoghurt and being repeatedly ambushed by posses of cats.

Sorry... that sail on the horizon is mine.

Boat


Offline Chasseybaby

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9464 on: June 08, 2014, 02:12:41 PM »
Boat

The cat infestation was not my illy mess but your fishy scent. I knew you couldn't handle a wild cat like me... Bye

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9465 on: June 08, 2014, 04:13:35 PM »
Baby,

Sorry to hear you were -
Quote
illy
I've sent my sawbones over to see if you need anything cutting out. Maybe worth a try? He's bringing all your cats too.

I've been thinking, maybe I'll sail alone for a while.

Boat





Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9466 on: June 08, 2014, 04:19:18 PM »
Boat,
Scratch that (literally), Jerk, is more suited here,

*strips off down to hot pants*

See what your missing?
I can't be with you like this anymore, I'm not a trophy, I'm a CAT.
You refuse to accept me for me, so focused on your bloody sailing career.
Shove you sail up your a**, and yes you do, your so shallow you don't care about me, just the way I look.

F U

~Tiger

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9467 on: June 08, 2014, 04:32:00 PM »
Monroe, I am sorry, but the fact that said Pies were better than Cupcakes is NOT forgivable!  I ask that you take the next two days to pack up and move out.  Don't forget to pay your share of the rent before you go.

~ Cupcake Addict KS

Offline Asher

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9468 on: June 08, 2014, 04:33:55 PM »
So called King

How dare you tell someone else to pay rent when you, yourself don't pay! I will not share my bed with you any longer! Out! Out I say!

~ Asher

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9469 on: June 08, 2014, 04:45:03 PM »
A,

How dare you order me about in bed! I'm not a plaything!
Get out of my house, and near coke back!
~ Cat

Offline Asher

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9470 on: June 08, 2014, 04:47:31 PM »
Cat,

Maybe if you took charge for once. I wouldn't order you about. Leave, you were beginning to bother me anyway.

- Asher.

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9471 on: June 08, 2014, 04:49:33 PM »
Asher,

I broke up with you first.
Get A Life.
And stop eating cupcakes, they're disgusting.
You always smell like cupcakes.

~Cat

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9472 on: June 08, 2014, 04:53:28 PM »
Tiger (Cat really),

I knew it.
I thought we had the stuff well secured, but you sniffed it out didnít you.
You gave yourself away by writhing around on the floor chasing your tail and shouting meow-wheeee along with obscenities.
That and the mood swings.

Iíve booked you into a catnip specialist clinic.

Bye.. for GOOD!. or even longer (whichever occurs soonest Ö terms and conditions apply etc)

Boat

PS Iíll just keep this pic of you in the hot pants..

Offline MonroeCat

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9473 on: June 08, 2014, 05:05:52 PM »
Boat,
I can't believe you think I'm on catnip. And for your information, I was only writhing because you asked me to.
You set me up to fail. I hate that you manipulate me, and as for your Helen theory.....
Forever isn't long enough for time between us to be apart. Life would be perfect if I never heard your viscous words that cut me so deeply again!
And I'll keep the picture of you sailing in less is more fashion.

~Cat

Offline cptBacon

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9474 on: June 09, 2014, 01:00:43 AM »
My sweet Cat,

Despite what I must say, I do so hope you know how much I've loved you. No, love you still. You're like an extension of myself, someone who completely completes me. I never thought I would meet someone so perfect as you. This is why it pains me when I say we can no longer be together. I cannot keep up with your unrelenting and insatiable libido. My body is worn and tired, my flesh is weak and sore. You're one for the ages, and I truly hope you can find someone to keep up with you. Good luck, and thanks for everything.

Painfully yours no more,
-cptBacon