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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289364 times)

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Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9325 on: May 06, 2014, 11:53:59 PM »
RV

If you ask me one more time to scratch that itch, and say, "No, no, no... to the right, now down... down... there! Now left... harder... use your fingernails... up a hair... stop! There! There!" I will scream my little pouty princess head off. You can't reach it with your sword! How many times have you tried? Like a bazillion-gillion? Give it up! Take off the damn armor and you won't be so itchy!

I'm off to find someone not coated in metal... or with a longer reach!

BBS



Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9326 on: May 07, 2014, 01:55:18 AM »
BBS,

I do get the hots for women in uniform.
Yep, it can be a bit of a turn on.
Well, quite a lot of a turn on actually.
And so, I though it might work for us.. you being a part-time cop like Marge Simpson.
You remember when you swallowed your whistle for the first time.
We both laughed our socks... and pants off.
No, that's not quite right. You attracted all the neighbourhood dogs with your high pitched guffaws.
But now you are on plain clothes duties, I just haven't got the time to rescue you from all the baddies traps you fall into ... or each day when you manage to detain yourself.

I am going sailing alone from now on, in case my boat gets stolen whilst you're on it,

Boats

« Last Edit: May 07, 2014, 01:56:26 AM by Boatman »

Offline JessiJoy

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9327 on: May 07, 2014, 02:21:37 AM »
Boats,

I really appreciate all the little things you send me from your yacht, but I do not think that an old seagull feather, a sailors hat that smells like a dog died in it and a sun parched piece of paper with a few words written on it constitute as a gift. I have had it with these trinkets, and regardless of the depth of my feelings for you, I feel it just won't work between us.

I am sorry. May the wind be in your sails (and not out of your ass like usual).

-Young Aussie Girl


Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9328 on: May 07, 2014, 02:46:24 AM »
Jessi,

I must confess. Our entire relationship has been a case of mistaken identity. When you first told me your name I instantly thought of that hunk of a man from Full House. Imagine my surprise when we first met and I realized you were a woman! I tried to make it work, but I just don't think you're the Uncle Jessie to my Rebecca. This is the end.

~Kea

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9329 on: May 07, 2014, 02:56:01 AM »
Dear Kea,

I thought the corset made you the curviest sexiest beast I'd ever seen in all the Can-can joints I'd fallen into on my travels.
But after you wolfed down that last burger, and there was the sudden ping and train-like roar of unravelling...

I am afraid I had to do a runner before I suffocated.

xx

Boats

Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9330 on: May 07, 2014, 03:05:39 AM »
Boats,

Just..... wow. You really should learn to let a woman down gently. That was... I should go.

Try not to get lost at sea. Oh wait, go ahead. I'm fine either way.

Keaira

Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9331 on: May 07, 2014, 03:26:14 AM »
When I saw your first burlesque act, baby, I was hooked. Sadly, I got to meet your personality soon after.

This ain't workin'.

Offline JessiJoy

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9332 on: May 07, 2014, 03:38:23 AM »
To my dearest RV,

I'm sorry, but this is not going to work. The relationship you have with your sword is one I dare not mess with, lest I be caught on the end of it. No one can be seen by you unless they are made sturdily and shine in the sun. Unfortunately, I do neither.

Farewell my dear! Alas that it couldn't be!
-JJ.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9333 on: May 07, 2014, 03:53:26 AM »
Jessi, ex-joy of my life,

Look Shiela, I don't mind stereotypes. I am open minded and not stereotypicist at all.
But, mud wrestling your pet croc dressed in a thong and corked hat whilst downing a vew tinnies of Fosters and picking roo out of yer teeth?
Look luv, it just doesn't work for me.

(Hmmm, reading that again, I'm not too sure.)

Anyway, you seem to have gathered a whole lot of new wide-eyed followers suddenly, so I'm weighing anchor.
Oh, I chucked yer vegemite sarnies in the billabong.

cya cobber,

Boats

Offline JessiJoy

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9334 on: May 07, 2014, 04:09:55 AM »
(oh my gosh that was amazing Boats!! hahahaha i'm still giggling! :P)

To the sailor of my heart,

You gave me quite an adventure, and I will never forget the way you were able to float my boat.

I just didn't like the way that you always seemed to be at half-mast. It was a great disappointment my dear.

For this reason, I am going to have to make my way back to the harbour of single souls, and try to make my mark.

Farewell my dear Boats!


Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9335 on: May 07, 2014, 05:17:35 AM »
Look joyous possum,

I like a port in every woman as much as the next tar... perhaps even more so.
But, when you get so sozzled you mix me mainbrace up with my halyard and try and cop off on me tender's rollicks, then it's time to abandon ship.
Fair dinkum?
Sling yer hook over the transom, me squiffy hearty,

Boats



Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9336 on: May 07, 2014, 11:57:06 AM »
Oh Dear Dear Boatman,

I have wrestled with my heart and I know, it will never work between us. Never. Ever. Ever. *hand lifts to brow dramatically*

How can a girl dance with her whole heart on that little deck of yours? Especially while its moving and swaying, and running into typhoons... I'm liable to kill myself leaping and twirling. Too soon I'd fall over the edge and be lost at sea forever!

I'm flouncing away now Boatman, but I'm sending you the dry cleaning bill for removing the salt brine from my tutu. It's the least you can do!

Bunny

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9337 on: May 07, 2014, 12:05:51 PM »
Dearest Blue,

I tried to work it out between us, but I can no longer live with myself while dating someone blue. It's rather gloomy, even when you throw in the soft, fluffy bunny and sparkles. With that macabre mixture I get a depressed rabbit with a glitter fetish. I hate glitter.

I need red in my life again. Fire, passion, love.

Was never truly yours,

Imp

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9338 on: May 07, 2014, 12:11:53 PM »
Dear Imp,

You broke my little fluffy heart. You made my softness turn hard and cold. You made the joy of leaping vanish.

Especially when you got the new tattoo of the bunny being butchered. SHAME ON YOU! You said it wasn't about me.... BUT I KNEW!!! OH I KNEW ALL RIGHT!!!

P.S. I stole your tattoo coffee table book too!

Offline SailDaddy

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9339 on: May 07, 2014, 12:14:40 PM »
Sweet blue - I tried so hard, I really did.  Its agonizing to Me, that a cuddly warm bunny is so cold to Me.  I am unlocking the shackles so you may go freely.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9340 on: May 07, 2014, 12:32:19 PM »
Dear SailDaddy,

I never told you, but I have my own copies of those keys. I can come and go as I please...

And while you weren't looking, I stole your little, extra boat I can never remember the name of and rowed off to visit with Captain Sparrow!

I'm tired of pretending!

Goodbye!
Bunny


Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9341 on: May 07, 2014, 12:38:16 PM »
Blue,

You cheated on me with SailDaddy AND Captain Sparrow? What a naughty bunny!

We're through!

Rawr,

Imp

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9342 on: May 07, 2014, 12:44:13 PM »
Dear Imp,

Can you tell me the color of my eyes? Can you tell me the color of my hair?
Have you even noticed what I look like?
I'm tired of trying to get your attention! *stomps up and down*

Ahmm. I mean... I don't care anymore!

So long!

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9343 on: May 07, 2014, 01:23:54 PM »
Dear Blue Bunny,

I don't understand how you got away, I mean, I shacked you to my bed, and I come home and you're not there! Also, I realized I promised you candy, but - honestly, I was planning on giving it to you "EVENTUALLY" And off you go! Taking all of it with you! Well, if you feel that strongly about it, I mean, getting passed the guard dogs, razorwire, guard towers, duping the GPS tracking system, the spies, the nationwide manhunt....

I mean.. I suppose we could call this a short break.. or something..

Cayenne~

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9344 on: May 07, 2014, 01:30:21 PM »
Dear Cayenne,

But... you were SUPPOSED to come after me! I thought you cared enough to discover I was hiding out in the Himalayas in a tiny mountain village... with yaks? I thought you would make more of an effort... I thought you liked me!

I can't be with someone who doesn't give like 980%. Come on!

This will never work!
Bunny

Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9345 on: May 07, 2014, 01:39:32 PM »
Bunny,

This won't work.  Your tantrums are just too much. There's only enough room for one diva and that's me.  Your bags are out on the lawn.  Hobble yourself out.

-Kea

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9346 on: May 07, 2014, 02:32:21 PM »
Dear Keaira,

I stole one of your gloves. I'm not telling where I hid it. But its not under my tutu... so don't look there!
Don't you dare! Just DON"T!

Oh come on!!! Just look would ya!

See... this is why we are breaking up! You never do what I tell you!

You brought this on yourself!

Bunny

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9347 on: May 07, 2014, 02:40:13 PM »
Dear Blue Bunny,

Mmm, how delicious was it, training you to be a good little licker, with your forced short steps, and tiny whimpers of humiliation as I paraded you around, or made you crawl under the table in public restaurants "Oh, she's just looking for her contact lense" When they could all plainly see your head disappearing under my skirt.  All the tormenting, and chastity belts, and the delightful way your skin bruised. 

Of course, all good things must come to an end, so in, tonight I'm inviting some guests over, you'll entertain them of course, and at the end of the night, we'll see who is willing to pay the most for you.  I do hope for your sake you don't fall into the clutches of my more.. sadistic friends. 

Not to worry though, I've recorded your most delightful cries up to this point, should I ever think about you.

Oh, and do remember, you're still mine until the money happens into my accounts.

Cayenne~

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9348 on: May 07, 2014, 02:48:42 PM »
Dear Cayenne,

It wasn't me. It was my body double - the good twin I care nothing about.

Break up? With me? Ha! If it were only so easy!

I'm walking away. But before I do, I'll be attending your dinner and showing you what you'll really be missing... and then I'm gone. 

FOREVER.

And you will know what could have been. And you will weep.

Until then,
Bunny


Offline JessiJoy

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9349 on: May 08, 2014, 12:47:24 AM »
To my hoppy bunny,

I'm sorry this will never work.

Like the creature of your namesake, you are just slightly too bouncy for me, and your constant craving for lettuce is a little odd.

I hope you find the holy grail of green leaves, and I am sorry I couldn't provide it.

Yours forever in the land of burrowed hearts,
Jessi.