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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289838 times)

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Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9300 on: April 27, 2014, 06:14:18 PM »
Dearest Cayenne,

I am really impressed that you took the time to learn how to work that old boat with the steering oars. And I'm sure you will cut a dash with all the pensioners having a try-out excursion on the Styx from the cruise liners.
I must admit though it's not my scene any more.
Well, at least for the last millennium.
But whatever floats your inflatable babe... Go with the flow!
Don't get me wrong. I really respect your traditional values.
Me, I prefer the latest rib with twin jet engines and a young nubile damsel draped quivering over the thrust controls.
But, each to their own.

Have fun and do keep in touch.

Cya around the wake.

Boats
« Last Edit: April 28, 2014, 04:10:33 AM by Boatman »

Offline DTW

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9301 on: April 27, 2014, 10:21:11 PM »
Not enough fighting of the dayman , Boatman.  Also  way too friendly with Nightman for my liking.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9302 on: April 28, 2014, 03:38:44 PM »
I thought you'd calmed down when you got that job as a lollipop man* outside the park.
But that's the second girl I've seen you throw down the slide in the last 5 minutes...
Now another.
OMG
It's over.


* Crossing Guard

Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9303 on: April 28, 2014, 05:03:47 PM »
Okay dude I have had it up to here with you!
You act like you're so high and mighty.
Well guess what... you really aren't.
So this is goodbye, good riddance!

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9304 on: April 28, 2014, 05:08:15 PM »
You, Marie, Out of my Gene Pool!

~ The Lifeguard

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9305 on: April 28, 2014, 05:15:10 PM »
You've not looked the same since your cosmic surgery. As for the robotox... Well, that was too much even for me. Your flying suit has gone out of the window.

Offline fantasygirl90

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9306 on: May 04, 2014, 11:16:34 PM »
Dear Boatman,
I regret to inform you that we are done! All you ever do is go out on your boat and every time I ask you to take me with you it just excuse after excuse! I have found someone else to let me ride in his boat! And its even bigger than yours was!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9307 on: May 05, 2014, 02:37:09 AM »
My dearest fantasy girl,

I didn't realise that your picture was from the Spring 1890 issue of 'Victorian Style Magazine.' I am not ageist and certainly would have made allowances if I'd known you couldn't find your way to the right boat.
Sorry, but as far as we are concerned, your ship has sailed.
Boats

Offline annarose

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9308 on: May 05, 2014, 10:32:17 AM »
I am sorry boatman,
I have my feet on two boats and I decided to jump into a more secure boat.

*floats away*

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9309 on: May 05, 2014, 10:46:30 AM »
Dearest Anna,

Our summer song has ended,
For this love, I have pretended.
Far too long, was I within a lie,
As I've slept with, the grocer guy.

That's also a lie, but sometimes you gotta chase the rhyme, not matter what.  Thing is though, I feel like I'm dating a criminal, the way you're always sneaking around on your tip-toes. "Oh, just keeping in practice!" Well you certainly stole my heart and now that I've gained some sense upon your wily ways! Also, if you're wondering why you're seeing this after we've had sex I mean.. can you blame me?! YOU ARE SO FOLDY.. I'll miss all the crazy scissoring positions and ways you'd wrap around me like some sorta.. sexy spidermonkey or scarf...

Spidermonkeyscarf.. hrm, no that wouldn't have been a good pet name.

Anyway, I've decided to move on, I can't live my life thinking you're secretly some cat burglar or something.

Sincerely, Cayenne~

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9310 on: May 05, 2014, 11:51:52 AM »
Pepper dearest,

I thought that rumpled messy hair look you developed was a real turn on...
At first.
No, it wasn't a matter of thought.
It WAS a real turn on!
Wow, and the resulting enhanced passion. And the sex.
Exhausting, yet also strangely invigorating.
Until, I discovered your part time employment.
You're a wretched Russian sleeper..
Programmed to destroy a target after every fuck.
And through knowing you I'm inadvertently killing off my own team.

Do svidaniya Comrade,

Boats,
Universal Exports


« Last Edit: May 05, 2014, 11:53:49 AM by Boatman »

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9311 on: May 05, 2014, 11:55:14 AM »
Dearest Boatman,

Your are called by the sea and I am beckoned by the land. It was just never meant to be.

Love,

Imp

Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9312 on: May 05, 2014, 12:02:01 PM »
Imp,

I'm sorry. Well no, to be honest I'm truly not sorry.
We were doomed from the beginning. I mean, think about it.
Two fiery redheads under the same roof every day.
It's not going to work.
I refuse to share my spotlight with you.

Regards,
Kea

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9313 on: May 05, 2014, 12:05:16 PM »
Oh, Kea, I found that you were dating that guy from the office costume party who was dressed like Jabba the Hutt!  This will not do!  I must leave you in a Galaxy far, far away!

~ KS

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9314 on: May 05, 2014, 12:08:58 PM »
Dear King,

I tried to keep an open mind when we started dating, but I think I would be better off with someone whose image doesn't invoke childhood nightmares.

Wish you the best,

Imp

Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9315 on: May 05, 2014, 12:11:15 PM »
Well Imp, I tried giving you a second chance and it really bothers me that you won't let that fuzzy thing away from your chest. I've come to think that it's a part of you rather than... I don't even know what it is! Don't bother coming home. I had the locks changed.

~Kea

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9316 on: May 05, 2014, 12:15:37 PM »
My beloved Keaira,

You ask me to let go of the fur that keeps me warm, yet you refuse to take its place. I've since found someone else to beguile since my charms no longer work on you.

-Imp

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9317 on: May 05, 2014, 12:22:05 PM »
Dearest Impish,

Remember that one day, when I was freezing cold, and asked you to share the fur, and you said you couldn't because it didn't match my hair?  WELL I DO. So guess what's going to happen now? Oh, I'm not leaving, I'm not even moving into the next room. No, I'm bringing my dates home to OUR bed.  Yeah, we'll screw right there, albeit quietly, while you sleep! We'll screw in the shower (Of course, I'll rinse off after), and on the kitchen counter (Lysol will make short work of that) and you know why?

Because when I was cold, THEY OFFERED ME THEIR COAT.. Even though it didn't match my hair.

THAT IS SO NOT A THING.

See you tonight.

Cayenne~

Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9318 on: May 05, 2014, 12:32:08 PM »
My spicy Cayenne,

You never let me touch your hair. You're so obsessed with maintaining that windswept look that I cannot even brush those silky tresses aside so that I can gaze into those eyes of yours before I kiss you. Even in the heat of the moment you flip out if I touch your hair! It's ridiculous and I'm done getting into it with you over something so stupid.

Take your hair products and leave.

~Kea

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9319 on: May 05, 2014, 01:36:20 PM »
To my fiery Keaira,

I have recently discovered that you've been cheating on me with my last love, Cayenne. This is unacceptable. My tiny, shriveled black heart just can't take it.

Goodbye,

Imp


Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9320 on: May 05, 2014, 01:38:26 PM »
Babe... You walk around with that piece of carpet pulled up all the time. When we go out, people stare at your naked rear and you don't seem to care. You used to only do that for me, but now I feel second-rate...
I'm sorry, but you'll have to find someone else with a carpet fetish; we're done.

Offline impishcharm

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9321 on: May 05, 2014, 01:42:41 PM »
My darling Renny,

We've had our good times, truly. You made me feel like a woman. But now I need to find a Samurai with a longer, swifter sword.

Yours No Longer,

-Imp

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9322 on: May 05, 2014, 01:52:00 PM »
Dear Impish,

I heard you just broke up with Renegade, so on your way out could you deliver this message for him? That would really help out,  I mean, the commute is killing me! Oh, and please don't look at the contents, they're private! I mean it, don't do it.  I worked really hard on it, and don't want your attractive smell on it, he'll think we're together, also, I don't want you correcting my grammar either, I'm an artist! A poet! I TAKE LIBERTIES BECAUSE I'M ALLOWED.

Anyway, I'll miss you the most, but not enough to you know.. hang around

Cayenne

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
Dear Commander,

What can I say?

I mean, permission to speak, sir!

I'll assume you granted it, if not, please do not read the following part, but know that I've moved on.

SO YOU FINALLY GAVE ME PERMISSION TO SPEAK, WELL IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME! ALL THIS TIME IT'S BEEN NOTHING BUT "TAKE THAT HILL CAYENNE" "KILL THAT FLANKING ARMY" "BEND OVER THAT DESK LIKE A GOOD LITTLE SLUT" WELL NO MORE! YEAH, YOU HEARD ME... wait..

I mean, permission to speak freely, sir?

I'll assume that you've granted this permission, otherwise please do not read further, but know that I'm disgruntled.

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? YOU'VE FINALLY GIVEN ME PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY WHAT WERE YOU WAITING TILL THIS POINT TO MERRY ME? WELL LET ME TELL YOU, YOU LARGE, HANDSOME BEAST OF A MAN, IT IS TOO LATE! I'VE ALREADY DEFECTED TO YOUR WORST ENEMY OF WHOM, YOU CANNOT KILL FOR BLOOD OATHS, AND ALLEGIANCE TO YOUR LONG DEAD MASTERS! AND HE... well..

OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN'T LET ME SPEAK FREELY EITHER, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? HE BUYS ME NICE THINGS! LIKE MASSIVE CLAYMORES, AND PEARL NECKLACES! MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!? I BET YOU DIDN'T, WELL YOU HAD YOUR FUN, AND NOW ... uM

Permission to have fun, sir?

JUST KIDDING, I'M GOING HAVE FUN ANYWAY!

WOO!

Cayenne~

Offline Keaira

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9323 on: May 05, 2014, 02:25:04 PM »
Cayenne,

I don't know what it is with you! I mean I love that you communicate with me but you never let me get a word in edgewise. It's like, for the longst tie you were denied that right and now you are doing the same to me.

I am a free spirit and I have important things to say too. I will not remain silent in your shadow any longer.

~Kea

P.S. I took the dog.

Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9324 on: May 05, 2014, 02:35:43 PM »
Dear Impish,

I heard you just broke up with Renegade, so on your way out could you deliver this message for him? That would really help out,  I mean, the commute is killing me! Oh, and please don't look at the contents, they're private! I mean it, don't do it.  I worked really hard on it, and don't want your attractive smell on it, he'll think we're together, also, I don't want you correcting my grammar either, I'm an artist! A poet! I TAKE LIBERTIES BECAUSE I'M ALLOWED.

Anyway, I'll miss you the most, but not enough to you know.. hang around

Cayenne

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
Dear Commander,

What can I say?

I mean, permission to speak, sir!

I'll assume you granted it, if not, please do not read the following part, but know that I've moved on.

SO YOU FINALLY GAVE ME PERMISSION TO SPEAK, WELL IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME! ALL THIS TIME IT'S BEEN NOTHING BUT "TAKE THAT HILL CAYENNE" "KILL THAT FLANKING ARMY" "BEND OVER THAT DESK LIKE A GOOD LITTLE SLUT" WELL NO MORE! YEAH, YOU HEARD ME... wait..

I mean, permission to speak freely, sir?

I'll assume that you've granted this permission, otherwise please do not read further, but know that I'm disgruntled.

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? YOU'VE FINALLY GIVEN ME PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY WHAT WERE YOU WAITING TILL THIS POINT TO MERRY ME? WELL LET ME TELL YOU, YOU LARGE, HANDSOME BEAST OF A MAN, IT IS TOO LATE! I'VE ALREADY DEFECTED TO YOUR WORST ENEMY OF WHOM, YOU CANNOT KILL FOR BLOOD OATHS, AND ALLEGIANCE TO YOUR LONG DEAD MASTERS! AND HE... well..

OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN'T LET ME SPEAK FREELY EITHER, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? HE BUYS ME NICE THINGS! LIKE MASSIVE CLAYMORES, AND PEARL NECKLACES! MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT!? I BET YOU DIDN'T, WELL YOU HAD YOUR FUN, AND NOW ... uM

Permission to have fun, sir?

JUST KIDDING, I'M GOING HAVE FUN ANYWAY!

WOO!

Cayenne~

You, kind lady, just made my evening *tips his ha- helmet*.

Original Thread:

Keaira,
Talking to you has been like wearing a corset. It squeezes everything together, cuts off oxygen to the brain and rubs in all the wrong places. I wish I could say I knew what I was talking about, but the doctors say I'm still batshit.
That being said, I have a new lover now, I call her Keyhole, and she listens to me.

Yours forevernevermore,
The Man in the White Jacket