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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289575 times)

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Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9275 on: April 20, 2014, 07:08:14 PM »
Damn Belle, I love you and all but wearing mens shirts all the time... well it kinda feels like you want me to have a dick.

So yeah.. not gonna happen.

Bye...

Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9276 on: April 21, 2014, 02:38:36 AM »
I know I've kept you in my basement for a month now. I know it's too late to stop this from becoming a serious commitment, but you don't seem to be enjoying yourself anymore. I'm going to have to turn you over to the police and have you go home, because this just isn't working out.

Online King Serperior

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9277 on: April 21, 2014, 06:04:00 AM »
You're a guy?  But....your profile picture was a GIRL ninja!  The internet lies!  Impossible!  *Logs out of dating website and never returns*

Offline Renegade Vile

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9278 on: April 21, 2014, 06:40:23 AM »
You are not Zerg. Our carapace are not compatible.
You shall be added to the horde as sustenance before you become the most fragile link. Goodbye.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9279 on: April 24, 2014, 02:14:32 AM »
"I thought I was needy, but you took the biscuit and evaporated my favourite mug... No use trying to deny it.... bye"
« Last Edit: April 24, 2014, 07:49:37 AM by Boatman »

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9280 on: April 24, 2014, 07:37:10 AM »
Dear Boatman,

You know what? Full disclosure, I like older individuals.  You seemed mysterious, and long bearded, and wise!  You had horns, which turn out to be more antlers than incubus indicating, you know, I just expected a wild, crawling out of my skin, thrashing in ecstasy till I can't take no more! Well, I suppose, I admit I might have set the bar a little high, but honestly, who would have thought you'd sit around and quote me things, or think about the old days.  I don't want to go into the forest and pick berries with you, and learn about herbs and preservation of the natural world, not that it isn't an important subject, but honestly, not what I was looking for.

So in the end, you probably won't even notice I'm gone, you seem to spend more time talking to yourself than me anyway.

So yeah..

Goodbye.

Cayenne~

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9281 on: April 24, 2014, 08:31:00 AM »
When we first met on that Greek beach you joyfully discarded every thread of your skimpy fabric skin and frolicked in the shallows with me for countless hours.

But then everything changed..
It was your insistence that I wore a hat.. not to mention clothes!.. when going out drinking with your human friends that wore me down.
I mean, if you've got it flaunt it has always been my mantra.

Farewell.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2014, 08:53:00 AM by Boatman »

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9282 on: April 24, 2014, 08:49:43 AM »
Dearest Boatman,

When you said you captained the most important boat in the world, I'd figured something a little bigger, I figured high seas adventures and the rush of waves and things crashing! Of sea monsters and  herculean efforts! Turns out though, you're basically running a taxi service into hell, and if I was anywhere into death metal, I might be more impressed but you know, for a guy who runs such an important boat - you haven't even adjusted for inflation! really? Still taking coins? I realize your expenses are low! But I gotta eat! I like nice things!

And honestly, this whole coyly saying "Don't rock the boat" before sex on the boat, not even sure how that is amusing to you still at this point!

So anyway, yeah, hopefully it won't be awkward if at some point in the future I show up needing passage at some point.

Cayenne~

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9283 on: April 24, 2014, 09:19:11 AM »
C

OK, when I dropped in on you that night and things turned physical we said no secrets... Do you remember?

We immortals look the same every day, so why all the time in the bathroom?
Don't bother with any of your deceptions... I've found your anti-aging creams and hidden 'legends' magazine.

You're just one of those human women who wants an immortal child by an incubus. I know your type.
It's simply not going to happen.

The sex was great BTW.

Cherio


Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9284 on: April 24, 2014, 10:24:56 AM »
You prefer your boats over me, just not happening mate.
Cya around.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9285 on: April 24, 2014, 01:38:11 PM »
SM

I catch the most delicious crab and  lobster with my bare hands. I take you to sunbathe naked in spectacular secret coves only I know.
Then you say let's get a place in the city.
What's wrong with my plaice?

No pleasing mortals...pah!

You're dumped.

B


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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9286 on: April 25, 2014, 01:05:39 AM »
Boatman, seriously?

We are done here.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9287 on: April 25, 2014, 02:17:26 AM »
Midori,

I am so sorry... really!
But.. fulfilling your heart's desire to be tied up and tended to in that dank rat-infested dungeon for days on end lost its initial thrill.
So I just threw away the key.

Think of me from time to time,

Yours always.

B
« Last Edit: April 25, 2014, 02:22:27 AM by Boatman »

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9288 on: April 26, 2014, 07:56:48 AM »
Dear Boatman,

I like humiliation as much as the next sex addict, and I mean, having sex with an old, strangely bearded, homeless looking man with horns who spends most of his time shuttling crying people into spaces of which, only endless torture awaits was pretty good! I'll admit! I mean, you should have seen the fluster on my face when I explained to my parents that the Greek guy with an important job was just some grizzly, hermit looking guy of whom, has nothing better to do with his free time but hit on mortals at the bar.

And oh! The games we'd play! Where you'd take all my identification and row me to the other side of the lake, and threaten to send me to the depths of hell while doing me from behind! Well, lets just say that was good times. Though, that time you actually did send me in for a few days, kinda not as cool with that.

Yet, this whole "Oh you're getting older" "Hohoho, us immortals don't age" I'm sorry to inform you of this, but you didn't come into existence as a gangly old prune juice sipping layabout, no, YOU'VE AGED MY FRIEND.  You think you're some hope springs forever spring chicken, spry thing, when the reality of your "Oh my back hurts can you row for a while?" "Do you think I'd look good with two canes?" TWO CANES? IT'S CALLED A WALKER, LOOK IT UP NEXT TIME YOU'RE ON THE SURFACE TRYING TO HIT ON GIRLS WITH GRAMPA ISSUES.

...ahem.

If you cannot tell, this relationship has ended.

Cayenne~

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9289 on: April 26, 2014, 10:36:50 AM »
Dear Human Child,

You said, and kept saying;
‘Let yourself go;’ 
‘Forget your inhibitions;’
‘Let your instinct drive your body’.

But I held back, obviously. To protect you, because.. well, I cared.
No point in you dying, however ecstatically, too early in the game.

And it was then I discovered your double standards.
I had, reluctantly, decided to give into my instincts.
To give you everything…absolutely everything…  fast and furious.
But whilst I was weighing up the risks I realised I was a bit peckish…

I saw your fluffy white rabbit with the lovingly tied pink bow… and remembered what you’d said about giving in....

It felt nothing.. but the tears you shed astounded me.
My instinct is to extract every ounce of delight from the moment.
But I realise… now... you are too delicate a flower.

Enjoy your moment.
Goodbye.

Boats
« Last Edit: April 26, 2014, 10:38:12 AM by Boatman »

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9290 on: April 26, 2014, 11:38:48 AM »
You're too horny for me.  Don't be a stranger.  Bye!

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9291 on: April 26, 2014, 11:40:23 AM »
You keep using my shirts. I don't have a single shirt left that doesn't smell of you anymore.

How'm I supposed to get any work done with that scent around all day?

You gotta go.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9292 on: April 26, 2014, 11:42:43 AM »
Stone!!! It's been a while!!  *hugggs*

You're suffocating me.  I can't deal with that.  Goodbye!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9293 on: April 26, 2014, 11:49:58 AM »
Dear Belle

The bareback horse riding just tickled too much.

Sorry,

B

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9294 on: April 26, 2014, 11:52:55 AM »
Stone!!! It's been a while!!  *hugggs*

Months and months!

Boatman, you don't give me free rides. Goodbye!

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9295 on: April 26, 2014, 12:36:42 PM »
You never touch me like that!  Where's the love?  It's over!

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9296 on: April 26, 2014, 12:58:34 PM »
I keep doing your washing, but enough is enough, you are history.

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9297 on: April 26, 2014, 01:10:47 PM »
Hmmmph!  You're too lazy.  I'm over it!  Goodbye.

Offline Boatman

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9298 on: April 26, 2014, 01:45:09 PM »
OK, so I need a life full of adventure plundering merchantmen in the Carribean, and you want a stud farm, or was that a farm full of studs?

It's not working. Sling your hook me'lubber.

Boats

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9299 on: April 27, 2014, 05:30:15 PM »
I aen't going to say this twice.

By the way hello.

Thanks to all your hard work, I'm now immortal! No worrying about me aging! No worrying about diseases or anything! Yep, our long dream has finally come true! Thing is though, now that I got all this time, I gotta do some wandering.  I mean, you understand, you live forever and such, so a few hundred years of me finding myself aen't going to hurt! 

Oh yeah, I also kinda borrowed your boat, turns out it's not made for going down rapids? It's a good thing I'm immortal, else I'd have been in real trouble you know!? Don't worry though, I'm fine, and I bought you one of those inflatable dinghies till that constantly toiling guy gets around to fixing it.

It's not all bad news though, you know how you like coins? I bought you one of those commemorative sets!  They are pretty shiny right now, so don't take them out of the package.

Anyway, I'm off to see what eternal youth is like~

Cayenne~