Loved how you always brought roses after a fight,
even when you were wrong.
The way you shaved your beard when you were with me,
but grew it back after seeing your mom,
saying you just wanted to please both the ladies in your life.
Remember how I came back from that business trip with chlamydia,
and you told me we could move past my affairs,
and then brought my Azithromycin in the mornings with a sliced up orange,
telling me that you just wanted me to be healthy,
and you would always be there for me.
The time I hacked into your account and sent porn to all your co-workers,
you got fired for sexual harassment,
and had to send out all those resumes, trying to get a job,
but you ended up working at McDonald's,
and said it was fine, because you were going to make shift manager soon.
So it may sound harsh and I get it, really I do, believe me, it's me, not you,
'cause any girl would be lucky to have you,
but toenail clippings in the bed ... again!?
Just saying, put my name on the lease and move out of your apartment,
'because baby, we're over now.