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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 290422 times)

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Offline Randall Flagg

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8600 on: May 24, 2013, 08:27:51 PM »
Hey Mara,

It's not me, it's not you, it's us.

We just don't click. Sorry about that. But I'll tell you what, here's that hundred bucks you loaned me to get me out of jail. I appreciated it.

Remember that there is no good, there is no bad - there is only experience.

I sincerely hope your next experience is better than this one...

Best of luck with love and sex,
Randall

Offline Mara Brewer

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8601 on: May 24, 2013, 08:51:34 PM »
Dear Randall,

Unfortunately you can't break up with me, because...because I'm breaking up with you first! So THERE.

Never loved you anyways *muttermuttercries*

Offline Randall Flagg

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8602 on: May 24, 2013, 09:13:55 PM »
Dearest Mara,

Can I have that 100 bucks back?

*sings*
What's love got to do got to do with it?

~Randylicious

Offline Nataleigh

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8603 on: May 24, 2013, 09:32:18 PM »
Dear Randall,

I know. Don't ask me how I found out, but I know. I know you've been sleeping with Mara! HOW COULD YOU!? I thought we had something special, and I was going to leave her for you like you kept begging me to! Well, don't bother coming home. I set your clothes on fire. I'll mail you the ashes.

~Nat

----------------

Dear Mara,

First, you tell me you're breaking up with me because I wouldn't tell you I was a koala, and now I find out you've been cheating on me with RANDALL? HOW COULD YOU?! Is this the real reason you broke up with me? Obviously you already knew I was a koala, I mean, honestly how could we have... YOU KNOW... if you didn't know I was one! Talk about a lame excuse to break up with someone. Well fine. I WAS CHEATING ON YOU WITH RANDALL ANYWAY!

Kinda weird that we both cheated on each other with the same guy, but then again... I mean, it was RANDALL. God he's hot.

*noms on Eucalyptis and climbs a tree*

~Nat

Offline Mara Brewer

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8604 on: May 24, 2013, 09:43:24 PM »
Dear Nat,

Lies beget lies, my tree-hugging sweet. Lies beget lies. And the web of falsehoods you have woven around yourself has finally caved in. We are over for good.

Farewell,
Mara

PS--And I'm sorry, what was supposed to clue me in? The fur? That seems kind of racist.

-------------------------------
Dear Randall,

You...you were cheating on me? AND on the once-love-of-my-life?! That is low. Really low. Consider yourself double broken up with.

Bugger off,
Mara

Offline Randall Flagg

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8605 on: May 24, 2013, 09:56:32 PM »
Mara and Nat,

It wasn't me.
It was my evil twin... Samson Flagg.

I should have known, he always came to family dinners smelling like eucalyptus and he was always bragging about his two girlfriends... I just didn't know he was pretending to be me all this time.

It's ok, I completely understand that neither of you want to see me again. Too many bad memories. *nods*

Do either of you have a hot sister?

Preferably one that isn't covered completely in fur and chewing tree leaves?

Randall

Offline Mara Brewer

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8606 on: May 24, 2013, 11:11:58 PM »
Dear Samson,

Every moment of our relationship has been beautiful.

But then there's that odd brother of yours. He is always so insistent about the imaginary siblings he creates to account for his inadequacies, and this combined with his lewd comments over every dinner makes me uncomfortable and a little bit frightened. I know that none of this is your fault but...you know what they say about "marrying the family."

I will have to call things off, for my own sanity. I'm sorry--I hope that you find someone who makes you happy, and that your brother finds someone who will provide him the medication he needs.

With love and regret,
Mara

Offline Jclaymore

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8607 on: May 30, 2013, 11:39:42 AM »
Dear Mara,

I'm sorry for all the times I nearly sliced you in half, just because you wanted to surprise hug me. I'm sorry for leaving you at the restaurant.

However I can't date a girl who is afraid of losing her sanity. You see, I'm very, very insane. I hear voices all the time, telling me to use my silvery... glimmering... *handwriting becomes unreadable, because of loss of attention* SWORD, to randomly kill people. It's been a blast, but my bed is telling me to break up with you, and I always, always have to obey my bed, cus he says otherwise bad things will happen to me while I sleep. so... don't do anything dangerous, such as pillowfighting k?

I wish you a lot of lead and cotton candies
Jason Claymore.

PS: sorry about your sandwich. He was bullying me.

Offline AutoTune

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8608 on: May 30, 2013, 10:27:16 PM »
Dearest Jclaymore,

Alas my lust for your heart has faded to ashes, and I smolder for you no longer. May the stars light your path, and I hope nothing but the best for your future on your journey down the Sun Trail.
You are no longer mine to hold, nor am I worthy of your companionship, for my destiny lies elsewhere. Please accept my most heartfelt remorse, for while our time together was brief, I still value its memories.

Regards,
AutoTune~

P.S.
Sorry I smell like a hotdog, it's been hot lately and the crocodiles won't let me wash my clothes. :-3

Offline Xandi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8609 on: May 31, 2013, 07:10:51 AM »
AutoTune I first want to tell you how much I adore you. You are wonderful beyond compare, which is part of the problem. I can't be with someone so perfect, it just makes me feel terrible about myself and I end up being depressed. So for now I will say goodbye and Love and Hugs and Kisses but just Goodbye.

I really do adore you.


Offline wildrod

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8610 on: June 01, 2013, 06:11:49 PM »
A redhead, and with that look in your eyes. I can not breakup with you. Sincere apologies.


:D

Offline AutoTune

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8611 on: June 03, 2013, 11:36:29 PM »
With my heart on my sleeve,
I must admit to wildrod, I am yours no longer. *iz dramatic*

Please find companionship with whom deserves your presence, for I can not forfil the place by your side. I hope you discover awesomeness, and I promise to think of you when I make peanutbutter sandwhiches for lunch.
They were always your favorite. <3

Regards,
Autotune

Offline Randall Flagg

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8612 on: June 06, 2013, 06:01:36 PM »
***VIA TEXT***

Hey sexy ;)

What U wearing?

I'm nekkid right now OMG I'm soooo horny!

oh. crap. this is autotune? geez. sorry wrong person. I guess we are over huh

Offline AutoTune

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8613 on: June 07, 2013, 02:31:52 AM »
Dear Randal,

My apollogies, I should have told you that I was allergic to cotton candy, and in all honesty, we both did'nt see that seagull dive bombing us until the last minute. (My eye is recovering, by the way, everything still looks black and white on that side though.) I do hope you understand that under these circumstances, authorive figures in my family (namely mother) no longer wish me to be with you.

Um, so,
With love,

~Autotune

Offline Batman4560

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8614 on: June 09, 2013, 03:29:57 AM »
My lovely Auto Tune,

I can no longer make a choice between you and my love for cotton candy. It is all I think about at night and I can't be with a woman who is not able to have such a light fluffy treat. I hope you recover soon but I need to move on.

                                                                                                                  Best of luck in the future -Batman4560-

Offline Belle33

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8615 on: June 09, 2013, 12:53:16 PM »
Batman,

I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out.  Superheroes just can't be trusted with matters of the heat.  After that whole debacle with the Hulk, I should have learned my lesson.  you know - once bitten, twice shy. 

Anyway - Don't be a stranger.

Offline Randall Flagg

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8616 on: June 09, 2013, 02:01:27 PM »
Dearest Belle,

I feel like you weren't completely honest with me. You didn't disclose your marriage to Mr. Baxter and that's just not cool.

Feel free to keep sending me those nekkid pics of yourself tho. They keep me warm on cold nights.

Randall

Offline Battosai

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8617 on: June 09, 2013, 05:44:29 PM »
Dear Randall,

If I leave here, tomorrow, would you still remember me? There's just too many places I've got to see. If I stay here, with you, boy, things just couldn't be the same, for I must be traveling on now.


Offline clansman660

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8618 on: June 09, 2013, 07:30:09 PM »
Battosai, I'm sorry.
Some day I hope you find someone to appreciate you as much as I wish I could.
You are a special person and you'll always have a spot in my heart but our time has come to an end, I really wish you all the best in the future, you deserve the best.

Offline beanhollow

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8619 on: June 09, 2013, 10:13:53 PM »


I'm sorry to inform you that I can no longer stay for I know there is someone else out there who will love you even more than I ever have. Not that I didn't love you but the spark has faded. There was nothing you could have done to see this coming and I'm sorry it had to end this way. I know you will forgive me for this one day.

Offline fireandblood

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8620 on: June 09, 2013, 11:32:08 PM »

It wasn't me.
It was my evil twin... Samson Flagg.


I laughed so hard at this because... The EVIL twin of Randall Flagg? How could the world possibly handle that?! Randall's evil enough!

Anyway...

Beanhollow... I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. But tomorrow I'm leaving to go on a mission. It's dangerous and I'll never be able to return. The world is at stake and I can't forgo this calling. I wish you all the happiness in the world... And spare a thought for me every now and again, yeah?

Offline Batman4560

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8621 on: June 10, 2013, 01:48:26 AM »
fireandblood-

As the hero Gotham needs and not the one it deserves I see so much blood and ironically fire in my line of work that I don't think I can bare to look at more of it on a daily basis. While our time together was short it will always hold some of the best memories of my life. Sadly the people of Gotham and Justice! must come first.

                             Always
                                        The Batman

Offline RedFangedWerehawk

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8622 on: June 10, 2013, 02:42:25 AM »
Batman4560

These things are never easy. I'm sorry to say that our relationship has come to an end. I'm sure you have guessed by now, but the Batman5000 came out a month ago and I am cheating on you with it. I feel really bad about doing this behind your back. If only you were 440 more, things might have worked out.

Please, don't blame yourself for this. I wish for you nothing but the happiest days ahead.

Love,
Red

Offline AMessOfADreamer

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8623 on: June 10, 2013, 10:36:06 AM »
RedFangedWerehawk,
I'm sorry, I love you, but I don't love having to hide, and I can't do it any more. You turn into a hawk every full moon, and when I tell my friends and family you've flown off for a day, they make assumptions and give me the most pathetic eyes, and I can't stand not being able to set the record straight. And every time I pass some carcass on the road, I wonder if the mouth I kiss also ripped off its rotting flesh. I just...I can't. I'm sorry. I hope you find a nice wereeagle to make a nest with.
Love,
Mess

Offline Batman4560

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8624 on: June 10, 2013, 03:38:53 PM »
My love AMessofADreamer-

It is with great regret and sadness I inform you that we must part ways before it is to late. You are sleeping and our entire relationship was a dream. Sadly my one true love is JUSTICE! and I can no longer be with you....
                                                                                                     Your alarm clock will wake you up in thirty seconds,
                                                           Batman4560-