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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 289992 times)

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Offline TheLegionary

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8325 on: November 06, 2012, 08:11:22 AM »
I cannot go out with a girl wearing trousers torn apart. It gives the impression I lack money and I am not a good provider of your needs. And the worst is that you have a limitless credit card! Do you want to ruin my reputation? You off!

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8326 on: November 06, 2012, 08:34:09 AM »
Dearest Legionary,

1) I am tired of bailing you out of jail.

Seriously, put down the cinderblocks, I realize you like to be all sweaty, and meaty, and desirable and crap like that - but we live in a SOCIETY, and if you say, walk into a grocery store holding cinder blocks, they - rightly think the worst of you.   Also, perhaps you might care to read a "No SHIRT, No shoes no service" sign before clumsily pawing at the doors trying to get in with cinder/hands.

2) Sweaty, all the freak'n time.

There is keeping fit, and then there is deliberately being gross and sweaty all the time.  I remember when you used to carry around bricks, and boy was I impressed when you finally moved up to heavy blocks - but seriously, you're so slick I don't even bother getting in the mood anymore.

3) SHIRTS.

Yeah, you heard me, I like a man who knows how to dress up from time to time. That includes putting a shirt on, the weathers getting colder so the envious stares I used to get hugging your arm as we went down the street are turning to perked eyebrows and "How nice she's spending time with that man of slow intellect" NO, Put on a DAMN shirt, throw on a TIE, take me to a FANCY PLACE that isn't letting you in because they think you'll club them with cinder blocks.

4) Random photographs!

HEY, YOU, I don't want to browsing the internet and to see your naked man tits posted on some website!  Also, you don't look happy and I KNOW WHAT DAY THAT WAS, because I picked out your jeans!  And after all the crazy sex you were like "Oh, I'll be happy all day now" WELL PICTURES TELL A DIFFERENT STORY DON'T THEY!?

You know what, I'm tired of listing stuff - what's your term again? OH RIGHT.

YOU OFF.

Sincerely, Cay

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8327 on: November 06, 2012, 08:35:52 AM »
* says nothing* just walks away * no needs of words*

Offline Dasheva Blackheart

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8328 on: November 12, 2012, 06:59:57 PM »
Yes hi.

I've been seeing this chick behind your back from some time now. She has a twin.

*Stares at for a moment*

Yeah, I don't think you can blame me for leaving you.

*Walks away.*

Offline Falstaff

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8329 on: November 12, 2012, 08:57:33 PM »
CAYENNE - OMG - AWESOME - Well done.

Now...

Kneels before Dash and takes her hand in his own.  My dearest Dash, my love...it will never work...you're a frikken cartoon.  I need a real woman.  My shrink says these pills are going to make you go away, so that I can move on with my life.

Rises to his feet.  Goodbye my love...I wish you well.

He bows and backs out of the room.

Offline Kythia

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8330 on: November 13, 2012, 08:26:27 PM »
I don't... *peers*  ... have you been shaving your armpits?  Is that why my razor has black hairs all over it?  And is blunt?  Damn thing is expensive.  And plus, I had no idea where the hairs were coming from. I was genuinely starting to worry I had lycanthropy and was blocking it from my mind.  In fact... *peers again* have you been shaving your chest as well? 

What the hell is wrong with you?  Buy your own damn razors.  In fact, do whatever.  We're through.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8331 on: November 13, 2012, 08:32:22 PM »
Kythia, That three way was just. Well I loved it, and I know you did as well.. We wore you out! Heh. But afterwards me and John got to talking, we went out and grabbed a beer, than we sort of made out. We sort of have a connection that you and I never did. Kythia.. your sexy as hell, funny, a great person, a great fuck.. But I just dont see raising kids with you. John and I want to give it a Go, if were still together in a year maybe move to washington and start a family. We still love you as a friend and as a Fuck, please just cause were no longer romanticly connected, dont think we dont want to have you as part of lives.. both in and out of the sack.

Mos.

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8332 on: November 14, 2012, 01:24:08 PM »
Mos,

You always knew just the right way to hold me and make me feel safe and loved. But lately, after you started watching all that rough porn and BDSM stuff, you seem to have forgotten how to hold me. You keep snagging an arm around my neck and trying to tear off my clothes. Its a huge pain in the ass! That shirt was my favorite and it was not cheap! It was kind of sexy at first (I mean really, who doesn't enjoy a bit of feisty sex?) but its gotten to be a little much. Maybe we could just get together every once in a while when I'm bored. But I think I'm going to go find a normal guy who doesn't always wanna choke me.

Peace!
Bre

Offline Falstaff

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8333 on: November 14, 2012, 01:26:55 PM »
Is this even possible?

I'll try...clears throat

Bre, my darling...you have the 2nd most beautiful body I have ever seen.  So, being that I cannot settle for 2nd best, I have to move on.  I still want to be friends, but please don't call anymore...it's getting creepy.

Shakes her hand goodbye and then washes it.

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8334 on: November 14, 2012, 01:28:29 PM »
Falstaff,

You are prettier than me. That just won't do, I need to have the spotlight centered directly on me at all times. Maybe if you shaved your head and put on a shirt we could figure something out. But until then, I need to go find me an 8 to prop up my 10!

Bre

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8335 on: November 14, 2012, 01:37:06 PM »
It's all about the numbers with you. I'm gonna rate that trait a solid 3 on 10 and send you packing.

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8336 on: November 14, 2012, 01:43:25 PM »
Stone! You disappeared for so long I forgot that you still thought we were together. Um...sorry to break it to you this way, but I've moved on. A few times.

Offline Angelicant

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8337 on: November 14, 2012, 06:45:06 PM »
Takes Bre by the hand and leads her to the opened door, outside, her bags are already packed. "Bre darling, I have thought long and hard about this and, for my own health and sanity, I am afraid you need to go. I discovered I have this rare disorder, and you bring on attacks because you make me too excited to be around you, and I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my life right now for both you and my vibrator and well, I flipped a coin... you lost. Goodbye darling." Scoots Bre out the door, closes it behind her and walks away.

Offline Falstaff

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8338 on: November 14, 2012, 06:55:22 PM »
Angelicant, my love.  It was fun while it lasted.  Bre told me you broke up with her...and frankly...I would rather be with her.  you understand, right?  Ok...stop crying...I am already over you.  Runs out the door and picks up Bre...

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8339 on: November 15, 2012, 02:03:42 AM »
How could you possibly choose me over Angel?! You fool! I don't date dullards, sorry - we're done!

Offline Endorphin

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8340 on: November 15, 2012, 02:18:25 AM »
The way you're always standing there, in front of the light. It hurts my eyes and I just can't take it any more. We're through!

Offline Dasheva Blackheart

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8341 on: November 15, 2012, 02:35:39 AM »
Hey, how you doing? That's great. We need to talk. See, its been a great ride, but I gotta be straight with you. You're too manly. At first I liked that about you. The way you walk around, shirt opened and pants that were ready to drop at any given moment. But the truth is . . . I'm pretty gay. The sex was awesome, but we gotta break up.

Still open for threesomes though! <3

Offline Endorphin

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8342 on: November 15, 2012, 02:40:28 AM »
Just as well, 'cause I don't think I'd ever get anything done with those damn ultra-luscious breasts in my face all the time!

Threesome, eh?  ;D

Offline Cayenne

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8343 on: November 15, 2012, 02:20:36 PM »
Endorphin,

I get it, people are running out of ridiculously abstract ways of wearing clothes.  You want to be cool, you want to express yourself but the Too skinny, big, warn out, short, tight, sparkly, torn up, cheap,  faded, and expensive are already taken, what else can you do!? Well, obviously the whole idea of showing off your designer man-panties, and striking a new "Hey, I've got a belt, and button, but I choose to use neither to keep them up! I'm moments away from stripping them down or wiggling out my junk at any moment" Is your way of being a beautiful snowflake but..

I'm kinda want a man who finishes what he starts, and you know, not even being able to commit to buttoning up your own pants, doing up your belt, just sorta screams to me someone that would undoubtedly leave me hanging as part of his lifes philosophy.  I am not cool with that.

So.

I am not cool with you.

Maybe you'll find a girl out there with her bra just - hanging out inside of her shirt some day and get most of the way to making babies.

Cay

Offline Endorphin

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8344 on: November 16, 2012, 07:53:30 PM »
Well I'm sorry you feel that way, Cayenne.

I know I could never cut a green cardigan that way. Or hold a delicate white and green porcelain teacup in such a poised manner as I stared engagingly through the screen the same way that you do - all the while concealing dangerously adventurous thoughts about hot, sexy, handsome, half-dressed men beneath a calm exterior.

We're done! Take that delightfully tempting golden red hair and deliciously soft skin elsewhere!

Offline Undeniable Sin

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8345 on: November 16, 2012, 09:35:20 PM »
I'm sorry, Endorphin, this is totally my fault. I am just trying to hard to prove to the world I can be a good girl, and with you just all hanging out like that.. I can't resist the urge to slide my hands up your tight abs, around your neck, and rub myself against you like a cat in heat.. I got distracted.. Oh, yes.  I'm sorry, this is the end.

Offline Endorphin

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8346 on: November 17, 2012, 12:04:48 AM »
That's fine. I could never last with a girl who listens to music through her nipples anyway - such a deplorable waste of delectable, perfectly well-formed, irresistible breasts!

Offline Amelita

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8347 on: November 17, 2012, 05:49:02 AM »
We're just not meant to be, darling.

Offline Endorphin

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8348 on: November 17, 2012, 05:51:02 AM »
Well, hello there stranger!

You don't call. You don't write. I just never see you anymore! How can we have a relationship like that?!  :P

Offline Amelita

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #8349 on: November 17, 2012, 06:01:34 AM »
You're on the other side of the globe, literally! Tempting me with your Aussie accent promise and that display of abs all the time... How is a girl supposed to function properly? I need the away time ::)