Dear Breathless (Which, now that you've got that oxygen tank, you should really change)
Things were great in the beginning, you were an elderly woman, tycoon billionaire playgirl, and I was a just your orderly. Our love didn't blossom at first, you were so distant, and I always found it funny so many bats seemed to hang around your window when you'd stare out in your dramatic moods. You said you didn't want to keep secrets, that you were the Dark Knight, and needed to me to be your Robin. I was reluctant at first, but then all the anal sex, and strange treating me like I was born in a circus and had lost my parents to a horrible accident.
My parents are still alive.
I miss those days when you you'd use your walker for getting around, not for justice. When your baby powder was for preventing rashes, not for cutting holes in walls and blinding villains. Also, I miss the days where bat crap - wasn't just over EVERY FREAKING THING I OWN.
You had me at prune juice.
What happened to us?
I'm sending you the cleaning bill.
And we're over.