My dearest Belle... this is going to hurt me every bit as much as it will hurt you, but I've told you... I've asked you time and time again, but still you refuse to dress yourself. Since we've been together I have written nothing but steamy notes detailing how I would ravish you time and time again, and one obituary for my beloved pet Sasha, who died because I could not pull myself from you long enough to feed him. I know I may never find a girl as beautiful as you, but at least my writing career will have a chance to flourish. Your distracting nudity has run it's course... we're through!