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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 342954 times)

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Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3875 on: September 21, 2010, 06:17:28 PM »
You never understood the nurturing nature of my soul.  While you were butting heads with your football mate, I was making a real home for us!  Those bloody pictures were for you, so that you could be proud of your home and have a place of refuge in a cold uncaring rubbish heap of a world!  I didn't understand your flippin' football, but I tried.  Didn't I make tacos and hot wings enough to stuff your faces?  Didn't I buy your horrid German beer?  You couldn't look at our lovely home, just once, and see that it was all for you?

You had your chance love.....  *wipes back the tears from his big brown eyes*  I'm leaving you and flying to Greece.  I hope you aspirate one of you F$&*ing chicken bits and died a painful death.  To bad I won't be here to see it!

*Turns on last time and gives you a pained look that reveals the wish for your death as the lie it was.  His quiet beauty, which once inflamed your passions, is gone from you reach forever*
« Last Edit: September 21, 2010, 06:26:34 PM by MrDiamondBackJack »

Offline MasterMischief

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3876 on: September 21, 2010, 06:48:21 PM »
You were awful in Employee of the Month!  We're through!

Offline LongN4

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3877 on: September 21, 2010, 08:28:49 PM »
I don't care what you say having a quickie in the janitor's closet is NOT romantic.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3878 on: September 21, 2010, 08:34:38 PM »
You lied to me!  I waited until we were married and you promised me the world, but You Are Not All That Long!  I am leaving you, rather than live with a lifetime of disappointment.

Offline AngelsDemonsCode

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3879 on: September 22, 2010, 12:17:47 AM »
As cliche this may sound, it's not you. I swear! It isn't you at all but is also isn't me. I'm forever grateful for you for saving me from the dragon and all that, and you'll always have a special place in my heart. It isn't you, that's all I can sa...no, I can say something else.

It's your parents. They're the reason why I'm breaking up with you.

I'm sorry love, but they're crazy! I know you warned me about their 'oddness' while we were riding on your white horse, but I didn't think they'll be insane. I would be alright with odd, who isn't odd in this world today?, but insane? Haha... no. I first realized this when you introduce me to them. No one ever asked me before if I wore wear full knight armory to bed if you were out and gone during dragon slaying trips. I was one-third offended that they though I would cheat on you and two-thirds horrified that your mother proudly give me her old ones. Think on that.

But that's not all, oh no! At first, I did try to ignore them and just enjoy your company, but they've been slowly driving me insane ever since I came to live with you. They would come by, unannounced, wearing those uncomfortable looking armor over their clothing and always insisting that I wear that as well for 'the best'. I refuse to wear anything that is more than my own body weight, love. They would prod and ask me if our sex life was doing fine, if I was cheating on you or anything like that. They spied on me when I was in the bathroom, trying to hear my urine. I don't know how that works either.

The final straw was when they tried to build a tower for me to live in when you weren't around. You know the one Rapunzel, the girl from my book club, was stuck in? The one your parents made hers look easy to get out. THIS:



WAS WHAT THEY WANTED TO PUT ME IN. Complete with the fire breathing dragon and moat full of laser firing sharks.

This is not the happily-ever-after I signed up for honey. I just can't take it anymore with your parents. Until you do something about your parents, I just don't think this is going to work out. Goodbye dear.

Offline doom29169

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3880 on: September 22, 2010, 07:17:14 AM »
You tricked me with your great hair and boobs, but your half fish...HALF FISH! How are suppose to...you know? Sorry I am not into the whole fishy half thing.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3881 on: September 22, 2010, 08:33:38 AM »
(AngelsDemonsCode, while you did use hyperbole, that was sadly close to reality.  My mother does step into my wife's life uninvited, right up to the point of regulating her urinations.  It was funny because it had the ring of true.)

DOOM, how many times do we have to go over this?  Its $50 for the hour or $300 for the night!  I don't do freebies.  Now since you are tapped out *raises an eyebrow*  I will be going.  Call me when you get some more cash.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 08:36:40 AM by MrDiamondBackJack »

Offline kckolbe

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3882 on: September 22, 2010, 08:37:19 AM »
Jack, you are just too fuckin cool for me...and I'm not gay.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3883 on: September 22, 2010, 08:53:35 AM »
Hell, I ain't gay either, but I play on on FOX.  I am straight, with a wife I love, but I suppose I am a bit bi-curious at times.  I would go out on a date with Angel from the movie version of RENT, if I were single, or N' Cream from Connie and Carla.  Both of them were cute as Hell.  If it did not work for me then lesson learned, but it wouldn't hurt to try.  Gender is in the heart, not the body, and gender is no big thing either.

Women often don't have hang ups about this sort of thing.  It is O.K. for a woman to be that way, but not for a man?  Anyway, your would never show me your true face.  You were always hiding behind a mask.  I can't love someone I don't really know.  Adios Bub.

Offline Lucius Cornelius

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3884 on: September 22, 2010, 09:43:38 AM »
you lost me in the second phrase, you write too much we are done!!!

(well in fact read it all but i need an excuse to break so ..)

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3885 on: September 22, 2010, 12:10:42 PM »
You don't write enough.  Adios. (I can keep it short.)

Offline Seara

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3886 on: September 22, 2010, 12:12:10 PM »
You are in a picture with her? Seriously look at this body! That is it I can go find me some young stud, we are over.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3887 on: September 22, 2010, 12:22:30 PM »
Don't be upset Baby Girl!  There's enough of Grandpa to go around.  Just let me take my teeth out and I can milk your big beautiful udders.  Granda can help too if you want.  She milks me every night and shee's good at it!  Our sexy little secret is that I never let her put her teeth in, so she's always ready.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 12:30:07 PM by MrDiamondBackJack »

Offline Seara

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3888 on: September 22, 2010, 12:24:52 PM »
*wrinkles her nose* How...not appealing. I am going to go find someone who doesn't need viagria

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3889 on: September 22, 2010, 12:35:13 PM »
I don't need me no viawhatchajigger, not when I got that one big bent toe on ma right foot.  Works for Memaw really good, a'fore I start snufflin' fer mushrooms in her forest.

Still, do don't want none a' ma hard toe action, go run off with one o' them citified sissy boys.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 12:36:41 PM by MrDiamondBackJack »

Offline Bubbles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3890 on: September 22, 2010, 01:44:53 PM »
This went way to far..I can't take it,I don't understand..
Good bye.

Offline Star Safyre

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3891 on: September 22, 2010, 04:01:00 PM »
You always forget my paralyzing fear of striped socks!  We're done!

Offline Lucius Cornelius

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3892 on: September 22, 2010, 04:12:39 PM »
oh no, always that i came you are like that, ready to do, come on i don't have enough strength for another round today.  We are done

Offline Seara

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3893 on: September 22, 2010, 05:08:09 PM »
Always looking for a fight, you are consantly beating up the men who innocently hit on me. We are done

Offline kckolbe

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3894 on: September 22, 2010, 05:09:18 PM »
And I am tired of getting beat up by him.  We are done.  ~whispers~  Once he leaves you'll go out with me right?

Offline Star Safyre

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3895 on: September 22, 2010, 05:13:05 PM »
Sorry, I need more vowels in my life.

Online TheLegionary

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3896 on: September 22, 2010, 05:14:24 PM »
Why cant you show me your face? What are you always hiding from me? I cannot live just with your body...delicious body I must say. I am leaving now!

Offline LongN4

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3897 on: September 22, 2010, 06:32:33 PM »
Its not me, its you. You knew when we first started going out that I have a fear of towels, but you just had to insist on bringing it with you everywhere you go. I've had enough of you....and your towel.

Offline Dark Rhain

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3898 on: September 22, 2010, 10:25:08 PM »
And you KNEW My towel was my security blanket!! Love me love my towel!!! Good BYE!

Offline Bubbles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3899 on: September 23, 2010, 09:47:13 AM »
I never liked that haircut and..the way you said my name..We are through!..-goes to bathroom and breaks mirror-