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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 290125 times)

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Offline MasterMischief

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3850 on: September 18, 2010, 02:17:30 PM »
The toilet seat.  Need I say more.

Offline Zadaris

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3851 on: September 18, 2010, 02:38:50 PM »
It's not you, it's that damn fucking llama!!!! I've had it!!!!

Offline Lucius Cornelius

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3852 on: September 18, 2010, 05:48:21 PM »
you take the llama and forgot about me, we are done.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3853 on: September 18, 2010, 08:07:53 PM »
(Zadaris...  Best Avatar EVER!)

Lucius Cornelius, I am leaving you because you only think about escaping and having your revenge.  If you just looked around, you would see the freedom, within the captivity, in my arms, but no....  I won't be around to watch you kill yourself.  (By the way, please leave the Sulu costume with me.  You won't need it were your going and it will help me.... remember.)

Offline Zadaris

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3854 on: September 18, 2010, 08:20:33 PM »
You're off lecturing people about revenge and oggling awesome avatars again aren't you?! I can't deal with you anymore!

*launches suitcase*

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3855 on: September 18, 2010, 08:56:29 PM »
It was all shits and giggles, until you mother moved in and started questioning my house keeping abilities, and how I was  going to give her grandkids, without a uterus!  when I married you, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!
« Last Edit: September 18, 2010, 08:58:53 PM by MrDiamondBackJack »

Offline bobfanatic111

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3856 on: September 18, 2010, 09:09:50 PM »
You were too obsessed with your face to even notice mine.  I'm sorry, but I can't be with a man who has prettier hair than me.

Offline AngelsDemonsCode

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3857 on: September 18, 2010, 09:39:46 PM »
It was great on what we had, really. The time we spent together, the kisses we had and laughs we shared. It was a great run but I just can't do this relationship anymore. I mean, at first, I was willing to overlook the elephant in the room because hey! True love works like that, right? Well, sadly honey, it didn't since you weren't willing to do the one thing I wanted from you. I gave you EVERYTHING from me, money, boobs, furniture and internet, and I simply asked one thing from you and you said no.

It hurt to know that you won't do that one little thing for me. One little trip to the doctor to change your sex, and that was it! But you wouldn't saying things like 'our gardener isn't a doctor' and 'this breaks, like, eighteen laws in this state alone' and 'Surgery for Dummies does not equal a Medical Degree' and 'the garage is not a great place to have an operation' and 'are you insane'.

Yes, love! I'm insane. Insane for love. Since you refused to change genders for ME, I don't think this will work out. I want naturally born kids, darn it. I'm sorry Mae, it was a great run it just won't work out between us. *Takes suitcase and leave* Hmph!

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3858 on: September 18, 2010, 11:22:16 PM »
I fell in love with you because of your ability to write long, convoluted posts in social threads.  Still, I have discovered that your ability outshines my own, and I am a selfish little bastard.  I could stay with you, but I would be the Salieri to your Mozart.  I must leave you to seek greener pastures, where I won't be outshone by your glory.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3859 on: September 19, 2010, 11:46:48 AM »
Your smile reminds me of Tom Cruise.  I hate Tom Cruise.

We're through!

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3860 on: September 19, 2010, 11:55:06 AM »
Your a F*&ing llama dude.  I was piss drunk last night and things were done and said that felt right at the time, but....  YOUR A LLAMA!

Offline Xandi

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3861 on: September 19, 2010, 02:09:58 PM »
Im sorry Jack but your talent is far to intimidating I can't be in your way any longer. I am setting you free, you deserve to soar. *sniff sniff* Bye

Offline Sashira

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3862 on: September 19, 2010, 09:13:40 PM »
Xandi, let's be honest. You're out of my league. I mean, LOOK at you. You're a knockout. I'm a pair of legs.

You deserve somebody as well-drawn as yourself, so - don't let me hold you back any longer.

Offline AngelsDemonsCode

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3863 on: September 20, 2010, 05:57:08 AM »
I have to be honest about this, my lovely Sashira. I have to be. It's the least I can do for you.

The time we spent together were the best in my life. When we first met at the shoe shop, you asking for a pair of new Nike shoes and me helping you out, it was love at first fitting. I'll never forget the time we shared, I assure you. Because why should I? They were amazing. We danced, frolicked, walked, footised and so many more leg/feet-oriented activities.

But that's the problem, you see. That's the reason why I have to do this. Please, understand what I'm going to say next. It may be a bit... harsh, but you need to let me explain this properly? Okay? Right...

I'm breaking up with you because you're a pair of legs and it just can't work out between the two of us.

Please don't look at me like that! Please honey. I can explain this. Just let me...

I tried to ignore the obstacles and everyday tribulations we have due to this but I can't anymore. It's just too hard. We can't do anything normal couples would do with each other. We can't hold hands, we can't slow dance, we can't build snow people (unless you want to risk cold feet again) or make those cute sweaters for each other. People look at us all the time when we go out, wondering if you're really a girl or not.

Communication isn't any better dear. Half the time, I'm wondering if you're actually listening to my words! Even right now, as I talk to you. I don't know if you're looking at something else or anything like that. And I'm often left awake at night, wondering how on earth you can even talk and I'm so sleep deprived by then.

And if you thought you being only legs was cheaper for me, you're sadly mistaken. Do you know how expensive it is to find skirts, pants, shorts, underwear that have a fastener at the top and still look cute at the same time? They cost me a fortune! Not that I mind, but they're really hard to find at times.

So dear... this is why we have to go our separate ways.

If I was a stronger, braver person, I'll face this all just for you. But... I'm just not. I'm sorry love but at least we still have our memories, do take care.

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3864 on: September 20, 2010, 08:14:46 AM »
Like all the women, you speak too much. You off!

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3865 on: September 20, 2010, 08:31:52 AM »
I have to be honest about this, my lovely Sashira. I have to be. It's the least I can do for you.

The time we spent together were the best in my life. When we first met at the shoe shop, you asking for a pair of new Nike shoes and me helping you out, it was love at first fitting. I'll never forget the time we shared, I assure you. Because why should I? They were amazing. We danced, frolicked, walked, footised and so many more leg/feet-oriented activities.

But that's the problem, you see. That's the reason why I have to do this. Please, understand what I'm going to say next. It may be a bit... harsh, but you need to let me explain this properly? Okay? Right...

I'm breaking up with you because you're a pair of legs and it just can't work out between the two of us.

Please don't look at me like that! Please honey. I can explain this. Just let me...

I tried to ignore the obstacles and everyday tribulations we have due to this but I can't anymore. It's just too hard. We can't do anything normal couples would do with each other. We can't hold hands, we can't slow dance, we can't build snow people (unless you want to risk cold feet again) or make those cute sweaters for each other. People look at us all the time when we go out, wondering if you're really a girl or not.

Communication isn't any better dear. Half the time, I'm wondering if you're actually listening to my words! Even right now, as I talk to you. I don't know if you're looking at something else or anything like that. And I'm often left awake at night, wondering how on earth you can even talk and I'm so sleep deprived by then.

And if you thought you being only legs was cheaper for me, you're sadly mistaken. Do you know how expensive it is to find skirts, pants, shorts, underwear that have a fastener at the top and still look cute at the same time? They cost me a fortune! Not that I mind, but they're really hard to find at times.

So dear... this is why we have to go our separate ways.

If I was a stronger, braver person, I'll face this all just for you. But... I'm just not. I'm sorry love but at least we still have our memories, do take care.

I bow to the master.  Your avalanche of sheer verbage has buried me.  If I weren't already married, I would propose.

See Legionary?  I wouldn't leave you, as I just proved, but here you are, ready to pack up and leave on a four year mission to protect the empire by guarding the farthest northern boarder at Haddrien's Wall.  Why do I bother? 

I won't be here when you get back!

Offline doom29169

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3866 on: September 20, 2010, 11:54:30 AM »
Dude you might be as straight as a willow branch, but I am as straight as well....something very stright like a ruler or something. So you see your a guy and we cannot be. Goodbye.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3867 on: September 20, 2010, 12:39:32 PM »
Would that be a wooden ruler or a plastic ruler?  If it is plastic, are we talking hard plastic or soft?  Soft plastic bend slightly, like a willow branch, and won't break in the bending.  Hard plastic almost wants to bend, and will if you heat it up enough, but usually just snaps cleanly in half.  A wooden ruler made of a soft wood will bend a bit and break to easily so that any little shift in may ruin it, which does not help one build a lasting relationship.  A wooden rules will, assuming it is a hard wood, not bend much at all and when it does break it is often a jagged break with sharp points which can stab your heart and leave splinters behind, which will make you heart ache and bleed forever.  Might I suggest a stainless steel bar one foot long and two inches thick, with a one centameter hole drilled through the core?

Crap, what was the topic?  Oh ya, be the bar...   
« Last Edit: September 20, 2010, 12:44:13 PM by MrDiamondBackJack »

Offline Seara

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3868 on: September 20, 2010, 12:43:25 PM »
Seriously I can not keep dating Peter from the brady bunch....it is over.

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3869 on: September 20, 2010, 01:15:49 PM »
I cannot continue with you! I need some freedom and space!

Offline Seara

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3870 on: September 20, 2010, 01:19:41 PM »
I need to get things done, and you are the one who keeps me in bed all day, it is over.

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3871 on: September 20, 2010, 01:20:37 PM »
I think you need vitamins to have more will to stand! I cannot live up with that!

Offline Seara

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3872 on: September 20, 2010, 01:22:12 PM »
Always having to launder your head towels, it is grose what do you do rub grease on your head?

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3873 on: September 20, 2010, 01:25:46 PM »
always having to polish your breasts with my tongue made me tired! You off!

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #3874 on: September 20, 2010, 04:44:28 PM »
Paris, 1948.  I was an innocent Frech school girl of eighteen, unaware of the ways of men with women.  My name was Ghislaine and I a tiny little thing with long brown hair and green eyes.

You were a German soldier who would come to my father's bakery every day to buy bagettes and try to catch my eye.  Your name was Hans and you were tall as a tree, blond as a viking and looked strong enough to lift me with one arm.

You slipped me notes with your coins.  You begged me to meet you.  One night I slipped out and you drove me to the country on your motorbike.  You held me in you arms and you made love to me under the stars.  For one wonderful week I believed I was to be your wife.

A week later, you returned to Germany, with no word of goodbye, leaving me alone.  I have not seen you for five long years.  I am here now to give you what is yours and then I will walk away from you forever, as you did from me!  Ktyn dear, say hello to your father.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2010, 05:19:31 PM by MrDiamondBackJack »